having another baby - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 08-27-2003, 07:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wanted to hear from a mother that has more than three children. I have three and we are in discussion about a fourth. My husband doesn't want another one; money, space, all the practical things and my oldest will be in high school soon. Is it crazy to be craving another baby, actually, for the last 7 years I have wanted another child, but couldn't get myself to bring it to the surface. Now it can't be denied. Any comments on this full-fledged, intense feeling?
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#2 of 3 Old 08-27-2003, 08:34 PM
 
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I am just now pregnant with my third, but I know many families with four or more children with similar spacing and they always look so happy and "familyish" if you know what I mean. The older ones always seem to be happily helping the younger kids. It's so sweet.

Those baby feelings are hard to deny, aren't they.
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#3 of 3 Old 08-28-2003, 01:08 PM
 
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Carnation,

I wanted to share a story that will hopefully encourage you. I have a brother with is less than two years younger than me and for years, we were the "average family". Money was usually tight, but our home was full of love. Several years passed and my mother longed for another baby, but didn't say anything because she did not want my father to feel burdened.

Well, one day my father left for a 6+ month deployment in the Navy, during which he planned to have a vasectomy. My mother hesitantly agreed to his decision. After he left, though, her thoughts were constantly focused on the idea of another child. She dreamt of having a child; she dreamt of losing a child. Well, one day while praying she had a vision (now, my mother is a spiritual person, but not someone who had ever had a vision before). In her vision, she was to have another child. So, back before there was email and cell phones, my mother mailed my father a handwritten letter, explaining that if he received her letter in time, to please not have the operaiton. She asked him to wait until he returned home and they could rethink the decision.

Well, somewher in the Indian Ocean, my father had come to the same conclusion. on the day of his scheuled operaiton, he woke up, knew this was not the right time, and cancelled it. He then mailed a handwritten note to my mother, telling her of his decision, that he wanted to discuss the idea with her when he returned home. Their letters were postmarked on the same day! Each received the other's letter --- and they then knew with certainty that they should open their hearts for another child.

My youngest brother is 9.5 years younger than I am, and he is the joy of all of our lives. I did well in school, and so did my middle brother, but our Michael has outdone all of us. His temperment is mellow/happy/kind and he is most affectionate in the family. I so many ways, he is our family's miracle.

Our family continued living simply, and in time, my father found more lucrative employment. When it came time for college,I picked up summer jobs, took student loans, and helped the family in any way I could. There were some lean months, but I would gladly do it all over again. I cannot imagine how empty our house would be now if Michael has not joined us. He and I talk every week! My mother says her youngest has "kept her young".

Carnation, I hope you and your spouse can sit down and really discuss the decision. You should both make it together --- and trust what your heart says, not what the world says. If we waited until we "had enough" of anything, we would never do anything : ) It sounds like your baby feelings are true. And what could be more natural than accepting this is what you want?

Good luck with your decision,
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