"Cost of raising a child" - Complete and Utter Bull? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 28 Old 04-25-2008, 03:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
Hellga's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So, my parents and in-laws are both very taken in by the "Cost of raising a child" charts and facts and figures that they splash all over the TV and newspapers and whatnot at every chance. Therefore, none of them support my desire to ttc in a year or so, since we are not even close to wealthy (we make around $1100 per month together, before taxes and bills). What are everyone's experiences with this, and with the actual cost of raising a child WITHOUT all the expensive formula and diapers and whatnot? We plan to breastfeed, cloth diaper, delay or fully skip vaccinations, homeschool, and make our own baby food (we just started a garden! yay!). I'd love some testimonials on just how much less expensive it is to raise a kid this way.
Hellga is offline  
#2 of 28 Old 04-25-2008, 05:27 PM
 
Mosaic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: La vida loca
Posts: 4,005
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Gosh, it depends on so much. Do you need to buy everything new, or can you get things via thrift/Craig's list/family&friends? Are you going to use prefolds or AIOs? Will you SAH or do you need to pay for childcare? There are lots of ways to save money.

Honestly, those figures are generally for raising a child through age 18. Cloth diapers and homemade baby food are a drop in the bucket over the long term, so while they can add up to some very real savings, kids still aren't free.

Remind your parents and in-laws that the amount you spend on a child is heavily influenced by your income (you can google it for studies that show this). People with lots of extra income tend to spend it on fancy clothes, dance classes, private tutors, pricier toys, etc. You have to provide food, clothes, and love, but you can do that quite inexpensively.

Mi vida loca: full-time WOHM, frugalista, foodie wannabe, 10+ years of TCOYF 

 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T spells BRAND NEW User Agreement!!

Mosaic is offline  
#3 of 28 Old 04-25-2008, 05:32 PM
 
kriket's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 4,785
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I would have to agree with PP.
You can spend the money if you have it, if you don't you don't spend it. My mom gives me this line a lot too. "Kids are expensive you know." Then I was talking to dad about what mom said, he crinkled his nose and said, "I lost my job the week we found out your mom was PG with you. You can never be "ready" for kids, just emotionally ready."

My dad is a wise man. and I think he secretly wants gran-babies!

I'm crunchy... Like a Dorito.
Mama to Sprout jog.gif 4.09 and Bruises babyboy.gif 7.11 handfasted to superhero.gif 9.07

kriket is offline  
#4 of 28 Old 05-07-2008, 10:26 PM
 
thewaggonerfamily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: The mitten state
Posts: 970
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Huge load of bull! We have 6, from a baby up to teens. It depends on how you do it and your values. Lifestyles are expensive, not kids! I spend less per week on groceries for our family of 8, ($200/mo, although in the last month I think that's gone up.) than my single MIL or my mom and dad did together. (Mom died recently, haven't talked groceries with my dad lately.) The bigger kids do do some spendier things (church camp, mission trips, sports and band equipment, etc) and their clothes are spendier (boys from about age 4-adult sizes which my 13 yo now wears in particular are hard to find at garage sales and resale shops super cheap) but I KNOW we spend way less on all 6 kids than most "normal" people do on cigarettes or alcohol or manicures or hobbies or... THEY are my hobby and vice! We do public school. (Small town, K-12 in one building, gotta love it!) but homeschooling can be dirt cheap or super expensive. We make choices on how we spend our money, same as anyone else. If you are serious about this, I would very strongly recommend being debt free and doing things the Dave Ramsey way from the beginning. ( www.daveramsey.com ) One big thing is to have decent insurance. (Medical, life, disability) DH nearly died last summer and was off on disability ~6mo and racked up about half a million in medical bills. I don't know what we would have done financially if we hadn't had disability insurance and medical insurance. Its huge if you have kids whether you vax or not. We've been to the ER more times than I can count with the kids, there was a time with my now 13 yo son when he was a preschooler that I though for sure we were going to get reported as we had him in the ER so much. Boys will be boys! Oh and there are ways we do spend more, but in reality we are probably about "normal" or cheaper than "normal" We drive a 12 passenger van, so more gas and more expensive than, say, a yugo. But we paid $13,000 for it on ebay and it booked at $21,000. And $13,000 is cheaper and uses about the same gas as the big SUVs everyone seems to drive. (Heck we're rural, its a lot cheaper than the F350 & 450 v10 pickups I see around!) We also have a bigger house, but we bought an old farmhouse that was a rental and are slowly fixing it up as cash and time allow. Definitly less than a nice house in the 'burbs, but not a nice 750 sf cottage or condo, either. We'd be paying our mortgage, cars, utilities, etc whether we had kids or not. KWIM?

Katie, mama to Katherine 21, Christian 19, Johannah 17, Nicholas 12, Genevieve 10, Matthew 7, Andrew 11/16/09 10#6oz home waterbirth and madly in love with my husband, Scott
thewaggonerfamily is offline  
#5 of 28 Old 05-07-2008, 10:38 PM
 
katiedidbug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Springfield, MO
Posts: 1,780
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I totally agree with the pp. I only have one DS, but if you want to live simply/frugally, you totally can. Besides health insurance and day care, I just don't really spend money on DS. All of his clothes are given to us by older cousins, his toys were all presents, etc. I buy things every one in a while. Like if I'm at a store and I see a cut $5 pair of shoes, every once in a while I'll buy something like that. DH and I are pretty much making less now than we were before DS, and I've just found that my priorities have changed. Instead of going out to eat a few times a week, I'd rather spend $25 on a water babies class. Does that make sense? Overall, I think people spend way too much money on their kids.

Mama to two lovely boys and a new baby due mid-May 2011
katiedidbug is offline  
#6 of 28 Old 05-07-2008, 10:46 PM
 
runner29's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 286
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Our biggest expense so far is definitely child care (DD is 18 mo). But even if you aren't going to need childcare, don't forget to factor in how much income you or DH might lose if you stay home with your child.

But there are other expenses, even if you buy things second-hand. For example, you really probably shouldn't buy car seats secondhand. So plan how you'll pay for the infant seat and then, around 6-9 months later... the convertible seat.

I second the previous poster who said to make sure you have really, really good insurance! Babies have to go to the doctor a lot more than adults... and I don't even really like taking them in. But the thing is, they can't tell you how they're hurting or that it's just a cold and will go away soon or that it's a respiratory infection and antibiotics would cure it instantly.

But anyway, along those lines - nothing with a baby is for sure. You might plan on breastfeeding, but what if the baby refuses to nurse suddenly or you have supply issues? Will you have enough money for a breast pump to pump until the baby starts nursing again or to get your supply up? Also, my friends IRL were planning on doing cloth diapers, but then their son was born with club foot and had to be in a special cast and couldn't wear cloth for several months. Unexpected stuff happens!

My point ISN'T that you shouldn't have a kid if you are ready. Because for most of us, that would never really happen. We are both in grad school, but I am so glad we had DD when we did. HOWEVER, there have been more expenses than I was thinking there would be (ie she weaned herself at 8 months (completely, absolutely, refused) when my supply was drying up and we had to buy formula for 4 months, etc.)

Bottom line: make sure you have something saved ahead for emergencies or unexpected purchases and have the kid whenever you want to!

good luck with your decisions!!

DD (2006) and DD (2009) and pos.gif
runner29 is offline  
#7 of 28 Old 05-07-2008, 11:02 PM
 
Periwinkle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 9,037
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
For us, the actual cost estimators have been way low.
Periwinkle is offline  
#8 of 28 Old 05-07-2008, 11:05 PM
 
soso-lynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,263
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
For the first year, all you really need is a good sling, some diapers and some second hand clothes.

I was really broke while pregnant and a few people kept trying to buy me useless stuff like a crib, stroller, expensive clothes, etc. I ended up getting my friend to buy all the diapers (about 200$ for everything until she was diaper-free), splurged on 2 slings (100$ total) and got clothes from local thrift stores.

I am in Montreal, so I get paid to go to school, get 1 year maternity leave, 7$ a day daycare and a bunch of other facilitating things, so I might have a more optimistic vision of what it costs, but I still really dont think that money should be an issue when deciding to have children or not. No matter what, you will always manage to get by and there is no way you will ever regret having a child if you are broke at some point.

The figures for the costs of raising a child are usually quoted from financial companies trying to scare you into opening up saving accounts and investments or by government and other people who have an interest in preventing 'poor' people from having children. Plus, if you look at any other figure of the cost of anything over 18-21 years, you will see that they are all just as impressive. If the cost of food for yourself is several hundred thousand dollars over the rest of your life, will you stop eating? Of course not.

Single mom to E (2004) and D (2010)
soso-lynn is offline  
#9 of 28 Old 05-07-2008, 11:14 PM
 
Brown Lioness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: dreaming of cocoa babies...
Posts: 1,549
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ok, so ya'll are saying its relative, but what to do you tell those people who say "Have a baby?...in THIS economy?!"

Like, they cite rising gas prices, food, etc as a reason to hold off on having a baby. While i think its valid in some ways, gas prices are not going to go down so waiting for that be reasonable again isnt feasible.

NMY actively making my dreams happen :
Brown Lioness is online now  
#10 of 28 Old 05-07-2008, 11:21 PM
 
thewaggonerfamily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: The mitten state
Posts: 970
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Lioness View Post
Ok, so ya'll are saying its relative, but what to do you tell those people who say "Have a baby?...in THIS economy?!"

Like, they cite rising gas prices, food, etc as a reason to hold off on having a baby. While i think its valid in some ways, gas prices are not going to go down so waiting for that be reasonable again isnt feasible.
Ah yes, but I think a lot of babies are born in tough times because making a baby is free entertainment!

Katie, mama to Katherine 21, Christian 19, Johannah 17, Nicholas 12, Genevieve 10, Matthew 7, Andrew 11/16/09 10#6oz home waterbirth and madly in love with my husband, Scott
thewaggonerfamily is offline  
#11 of 28 Old 05-07-2008, 11:22 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 12,055
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
DS2 is almost 3 and I would bet that I have spent about $500 on baby related stuff. DS1 is older, we choose to put him in karate ($80/month) and homeschool so we buy materials but it doesn't cost much to raise them. We have never done childcare and we get medicaid so those are 2 big expenses that we don't have to deal with.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is online now  
#12 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 12:11 AM
 
katiedidbug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Springfield, MO
Posts: 1,780
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't know...to the people worried about the economy, I would just say that throughout history there have always been hard times, but people just didn't stop reproducing. KWIM? Plus, it may be hard now, but it could get better. And the gas thing isn't even a valid argument. It's only going to go up. You'd never had kids if you waited for gas to go down.

Mama to two lovely boys and a new baby due mid-May 2011
katiedidbug is offline  
#13 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 12:20 AM
 
bvnms's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Saint Joseph, MO
Posts: 174
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
People ask me all the time how I do it, esp. as a single mom. I always tell them it's not easy and really I don't know somedays how. I did get these great books called "The Tightwad Gazette" It is a great read for anyone interested in saving money. The author covers everything and she has 6 kids.
bvnms is offline  
#14 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 12:50 AM
 
DomerJen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 1,215
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Are you interested in proving to these people that you can swing it? If so, all you really need to do is make a budget. Write out all of your monthly expenses that you have now. Add in the new expenses you expect w/ a child (be generous w/ things like healthcare and thrifty w/ toys). Take into account changes in income, and voila! you have a budget. It should tell you whether or not you can afford it.

I guess I'm the loan dissenter in that I don't think anyone should just have a baby w/o looking at whether they can afford it. I realize that for some people that means they need thousands of extra dollars, and for some, it means hundreds (depending on lifestyle choices), but it's still an important exercise for a responsible adult to make sure that they can care for their offspring in a manner they deem acceptable.

Homebirthing mama of 2
DomerJen is offline  
#15 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 01:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
Hellga's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
One thing that makes me think we'll be more able to afford a baby than people think, is that everyone says "oh, but, cribs are so expensive!" and "what about a car seat?"

Here's the thing...my family is HUUUUGE and, completely aside from the hand-me-down pool (about a truckload and a half of clothes, crib sheets, toys, etc organized by age), my mother's family always throws an enormous baby shower for every pregnant woman, and they literally buy all of the big stuff. Most of the family showers I've been to have included the stroller, car seat, play pen, high chair, crib, and swing. Plus clothing and toys and bottles! Not to mention, my mother-in-law has been stockpiling baby stuff for her future grandbabies for years. Cribs, crib sets, stuffed animals, clothes...

Even assuming they don't buy all of that stuff for us, we plan to cosleep and wear the baby as much as possible (and make the carriers). If we get a crib and/or stroller, well, that gives us those options, but if not, we'll try our darnedest to stick with our plans.

Well, here's hoping...at least we have a small amount of fixed monthly income. $650/month isn't great, but at least out here in the midwest, it's not chump change. Pays rent and half of our bills most months...
Hellga is offline  
#16 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 03:47 AM
 
ann_of_loxley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Gloucestershire, UK
Posts: 5,454
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am actually very interrested in adding up what I think my DS has cost us so far! hehe.... Ill come back with the figures!!!

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
ann_of_loxley is offline  
#17 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 03:54 AM
 
DreamsInDigital's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,481
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
For DS1, I bought everything. Crib, stroller/carseat combo, bouncy seat, swing, name brand clothing, etc. He cost me (and my parents and assorted family members) a lot.
For DS2, I bought a carseat and a bouncy chair, used hand me down clothing and got a sling on eBay for $12. When he was a little older we started building up a cloth diaper stash that would last for multiple kids.
For DS3, most of the hand me downs were worn out so we bought some new clothes and got some clothes as gifts, bought a carseat and that was about it.
For DD, we bought her some clothes and girly diapers, a carseat, I got a bouncy chair as a baby shower gift and I bought a new sling just for fun.

We buy the kids some new clothes and shoes and such as they outgrow things or wear them out but we mostly ask relatives to buy them clothes, shoes and coats as gifts for holidays/birthdays rather than buying toys. Overall, the cost of having 4 children has been basically equal to what I spent on having 1 child.
DreamsInDigital is offline  
#18 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 03:55 AM
 
SusannahM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
They're a big load of bull for us, anyway. Food has been a bit more expensive, though, there's just more mouths to feed, but that is offset for us by the fact that I have *no* desire to eat out anymore. No way I'm forcing my two to sit still for a dinner out.
SusannahM is offline  
#19 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 03:57 AM
 
DreamsInDigital's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,481
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SusannahM View Post
They're a big load of bull for us, anyway. Food has been a bit more expensive, though, there's just more mouths to feed, but that is offset for us by the fact that I have *no* desire to eat out anymore. No way I'm forcing my two to sit still for a dinner out.
This too. I've learned how to cook from scratch, even things I didn't even know you *could* make from scratch and we go out to eat as special occasions rather than "I don't feel like cooking" which was common while I was working and only had one child.
DreamsInDigital is offline  
#20 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 04:49 AM
 
ann_of_loxley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Gloucestershire, UK
Posts: 5,454
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So this isnt exact but its pretty close!

We were on a budget the first year as DS was a complete surprise and due to our current family situation at the time - I am sure we could have saved more if this was a planned pregnancy so I think that makes a difference as well with money!, we wernt exactly in the best of money at the time - we had nothing set aside and were in a bit of debt. However, DH makes a 'decent' amount of money and I got a full time job (for min wage) as well which really helped. Not to mention - of course, we got a lot of stuff bought for us and handed down for us via family and friends this being our first baby and the first grandchild on my DHs side of the family!!! Also - lets not forget ebay!..which I didnt discover until much later in my sons life so probably could have saved even more money had I discovered it sooner! lol...But even our budgeted items could have been more budgeted if need be...how much one is willing to budge of course is really going to be down to your comfort level I think!

Maternity: (because lets not forget pregnancy costs money too lol)...

I spend about £50 on maternity clothing. A few trousers and some stretchy tops - nothing fancy. (had I discovered ebay, I could have got more and better things for less I am sure!)

£75 on prenatal vitamins (the key here though is to think ahead and buy things like this when places have sales on - we have a store here called Holland&Barrettes...they sell everything from vitamin C to red raspberry leaf tea...We plan to TTC #2 this December and they always have spring/summer sales on - so I am already stocking up on items they have on sale. Currently their bottles of EPO are £1 dropped from £3 - so you know what I am stocking up on! lol)

And post baby of course. You dont need disposable underwear but I found them handy and heavy duty post baby pads are cheaper if you buy them disposable but if you plan on having more children will eventually pay off when you have more children if you get cloth... £40

Baby Gear: (depending on how you plan to 'parent' you really dont 'need' a lot of baby gear - so I will divide this section in two)

Sling (of course!)...you can make your own but of course you can buy off ebay or buy a used one from thebabywearer, etc... £25 is what I paid for the best new sling I ever got!

Nappies - We paid £200 for our set (shaped, poppers, liners, the lot)... BUT if you want to budget this you can get a whole set (all you will ever need!) of prefolds for £30! (and lets not forget used ones which can save you even more money too! )

Nappy covers! - £50. (however you can spend much much less on this if you get cheap plain plastic slip on ones. Our Boots sells a pack of 5 for only £2 so a years worth of these would cost £15 if you take good care of them! lol)

Nappy liners - the things that catch the poo ...of course you dont need these but then if you dont use them you have to scrape poo and soak your nappies, etc...However you can get reusable liners so that does save money. We got flushable ones that could be reused so we did reuse quite a bit!... £100 in liners for the first year. (even the cloth liners cost a lot though!)

Nappy pail - £5 (no need for soak or anything since we had the liners)

Obviously washing the extra load of nappies that you now have in your daily life will cost a bit as well - but I have no idea how much this adds on...my guess is not a lot though!

But we also did EC! - However we were late starters!... But all of this above cost us nothing in the second year as DS was graduated by then! Everything we have now is also already paid off. My DH did the maths and we started to get our money back (pretty much) after DS was about 6-9 months of age. Much sooner if we would have went with the £30 terry nappy pack though when you consider how much disposables cost and how many nappies you actually get through. And much much sooner if you do EC! I will be starting EC from birth next time around - you only need a few nappies as 'backup' and maybe a potty (though thats optional of course!)...which we already have! lol

What you dont need but might come in handy:

Bouncer - £10 (cheapest one out there, you dont need something fancy but when you have a shower its nice to put your baby somewhere where you can see eachother if you arnt bringing them in the shower with you - however we are buying a shower sling next time around but thats only £15)

Pushchair - £100 (you can get cheaper ones though and ebay of course!...depends on what you use it for...I got a shopping trolly like the old ladies have lol for only £20 - as I dont have a car, its nice to carry my shopping in and all the other things you need)

Change table - £50
Change tabple mat - £10
(You dont need any of these items but as I had a section, I found them really handy as it was easier to bath and change my son then and of course, a nice neat and tidy area to store all the nappy things needed as I like organisation lol)

Change bag - £20....but you dont really need it, you can get any other bag big enough and I am sure cheaper and ebay of course! lol

Clothing in the first year: (we budgeted £50 everytime he needed new clothes, which was every 3 months as the clothes were sized! lol)

£200 (you could of course plan ahead like my friend does and buy all the clothing you need everytime they have a sale! - We never have any money then or a place to put it all in our tiny house but with good planning my friend has clothing for her 3 year old daughter in size 10 things! lol...all sale items! lol)

Food: (we made his own and hes always been a good eater! - About £5 a week for him)

£125

And breastfeeding is free....but you might want fancy breastfeeding bras and shirts?

add £50 (of course there is ebay and dont forget the sales!!!!)

Also - you will be eating more in pregnancy and whilst bf your baby ...no idea how much this really costs but lets just say we budget out (now with a 3 person family) about £40-£50 a week in shopping and when I was pregnant we were spending about £80-£100 a week in shopping lol....

Also - we live in the UK. So I didnt have to pay for any of my antenatal care, my midwives, the birth of my son, his care after he was born, etc. Well we did, but its all taken out of taxes anyhow (which are extremly high compared to your country! lol) so what we end up with at the end of the year never changes regardless. And everyone in the UK gets child tax credit (unless you earn more than £60k a year - which isnt a huge part of the population! lol) - So we get £10 a week for my son (which really is only getting some tax back for having a child).

Total (highly budgeted - though I am sure it could be even more so with a planned baby, things bought in sales as you can do when you plan this lol, ebay, used items, etc): £665
Total (not so budgeted): £1050

Now the second year has been cheaper.
We dont need all the 'starting off' gear.
DS used the toilet.
Dont know how much his food costs but as I said our weekly budget for all of us is £40-£50.
Clothes we buy every season as needed - about £300 a year.
Shoes £30 - but my son was a late walker!!!

Hes going on three now and this year so far has been about the same in the way of clothes and food. Shoes have cost more - double that price so £60.

We only buy him new toys for birthday/christmas. Everything in between is chairty shops! And of course, he has a grandma that spoils him to bits! lol
About £30 for birthday pressies and £50 for Christmas.
Though he does have a birthday party which is about £150 everytime. BUT - You dont have to have a party and as he gets older, he wont be getting one. We seen to be doing that backwards as most people I know dont bother with parties until their child is 3-4 years old. As we are unschoolers though and they are not, all the people I know will be spending much more on parties when they start having them as they plan to invite the whole class!...DS isnt going to 'not' have friends, but hes not going to have a class of 30 to invite to a party. So we will keep birthday celebrations as a family event when he is 'school' age - which will cost much less than what we are spending now!... However, it will still be the same *yearly if he takes up something like ballet or whatever we have in this area to offer - other activites you know, etc. So he wont be having that much spend on him on his birthday party, but that much will still be there to spend on him on other things.

However - We hardly go out to eat and have only been camping as a holiday (so cheap holiday lol).

Having a second is going to be cheaper if I had to budget but as its planned and we are better fiancially I really want to splash out and enjoy it - so I will be spending more on maternity clothing. However I already have the first 6 months worth of clothing for this twinkle in my eye lol ...ALL ebay, ALL brand new with tags - only £40!!! So I have saved money there, and as I dont need a bouncer or change table, or nappies, etc...It will still be about the same as my first sons first year or cheaper. Just what I spend on *myself is going to be more. Which of course, you dont have to do! hehe

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
ann_of_loxley is offline  
#21 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 09:03 AM
 
starbound25's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: east coast
Posts: 878
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
honestly I feel anyone can swing having a baby, we had tough times with all of our babes, some worse than others but were able to manage it all

now the big issue definitly seems to be when they are older, as we are debating a 4th one right now, check out the links to my threads I posted, it is eyeopening and keeps me on the fence about the next one

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=888620

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=892510

good luck with your choice

~Susan
widowed from Marc Nov. '09(love you more babe) mom to Sophia (9) Emma (8) Lily (5) :

starbound25 is offline  
#22 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 02:03 PM
 
~Katie~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 6,652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. For the past year before DS was born and first three months of DS's life, DH and I were jobless and DH was finishing up college. We got by on what we had left from financial aid for college and what he made through the Reserves. We really didn't buy him anything until he was closer to 5 months (besides cloth diapers), we didn't have a crib or any baby gear besides a bouncy seat and carseat, everything was either purchased for us or hand-me down. DS has really cost us next to nothing, its paying for rent and gas and everything else that stinks. His food really doesn't cost extra because he eats the same things we do, and breastmilk is free. I'm frugal about clothing so for the spring/summer it has only cost me $50 at most (though I did splurge on a pair of pedipeds). Kids can as expensive or inexpensive as you want to make them.

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

~Katie~ is offline  
#23 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 02:26 PM
 
kriket's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 4,785
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
the more I think about "others excuses" to not have kids the more fired up I get. The moron that lives next door to me was telling DH how $$ kids are. So DH comes to me like, WTF, we don't have that kind of money.

"People" don't realize how to LIVE WITHIN THEIR MEANS!! holy crap, nothing makes me more cranky. Take my favourite topic US gas prices. Guess what, I don't want to pay 3.80 a gal (I live in Ohio so thats cheap compared to Cali etc) so imagine this I DON'T BUY GAS!! "Have legs, will travel" is my motto. I have a trailer on my bike thats all I really need.

Same with kids. I don't need a stroller, I HATE strollers. Everyone keeps trying to talk me into them but he!! no. I'm really sick of people telling me "what I need" I don't need a car, I don't need a stroller (and PS my bike trailer coverts into a jogger if I so desire) I don't need a crib, they don't need their own room, I don't need bottles, I don't need anything NEW I am cool with second hand, actually I prefer it. I made my sling for under $5, I've been stockpiling thrift store baby clothes.

uhg, I'm done. Don't let anyone tell you how to lead your life mama, but in the same respect. You have to lead your life responsibly . If you have nowhere to live, nothing to eat, no job. Don't breed. If you are expecting someone else to step in and support you (parents gov't church) don't have kids. otherwise, knock your self out! I hope you have 30 happy bouncy babies (just not all at once)

I'm crunchy... Like a Dorito.
Mama to Sprout jog.gif 4.09 and Bruises babyboy.gif 7.11 handfasted to superhero.gif 9.07

kriket is offline  
#24 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 02:27 PM
 
holidaymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 464
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think the calculators are absurd! We have two boys, the first being a MAJOR surprise (we were 18). We made it through an undergrad degree while adding number 2, so obvioulsy we were poor and made it happen!

For starters, there are so many programs out there to help people who need help (not who wish to abuse but that's another thread) For instance, you can usually get a free carseat from your county office. Also, the WIC office will let you rent a breast pump (hospital grade) for free for as long as you want!!!!! I definitely took advantage of that with baby 2! And if you simply can't breastfeed...which nevermind that's another thread as well...WIC will provide formula as well...and whatever kind baby needs.

You are right...all the "stuff" you get with baby one, you really find out you don't need...and you can never tell first time moms this because they just don't listen

I didn't think we would have a second child for a long time so I got rid of all the "baby" stuff from number one. I did keep most all of his clothes though. So with baby two we bought a swing, carseat/stroller and a new crib.

Then....I thought I didn't want any more kids so we got rid of it all...although I don't feel bad because I gave it to other mommas that could really use it. But, now I am pretty sure I am not...I will NOT be giving anything away this time! I suppose we will get a new crib and carseat...and a nice sling. But that is pretty much it. I have cousins really close by and we all have children about the same age and two have babies less than a year and one is due in June, so there will be plenty of baby gear and clothes to pass around which is fabulous! And maternity clothes!

Thrift stores ROCK for clothing. Especially the ones that are just small business type...most even have maternity clothing.

Good Luck!
holidaymama is offline  
#25 of 28 Old 05-08-2008, 02:31 PM
 
UUMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 9,767
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
For us, the actual cost estimators have been way low.

Oh, god I love your DCC.

And I like your post. I found it true. For us, babes were pretty much free, but I am sure I am spending more on expereinces, books, and education than anyone would like to imagine.


That doesn't include new cars (don't have any) or even food, (a lot of which we raise ourselves). We knew it would cost money to have kids, although that didn't deter us. Obviously.
UUMom is offline  
#26 of 28 Old 05-11-2008, 09:25 PM
 
Smokering's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8,613
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
DD's only 8 weeks, so let me just list what we've been given:

--Enough clothes to last her until 6 months, plus a few 6-9 month clothes
--A very nice stroller and carseat
--An Ergo
--Nappy liners
--The labour of making cloth diapers (I bought the fabric,
Mum made the nappies, and made inners out of old terrycloth nappies)
--A cot, which she doesn't sleep in (we were offered two)
--A changing pad
--A bouncinette (we were offered two)
--Baby books
--More toys than she could possibly want!

I got enough sposies as free samples to last her entire newborn-sized 'going out for trips' career. In fact, I think she'll grow out of 'em before we use them up. I also got some free wet wipes, and a bunch of little free samply things like baby soaps and baby massage oil.

DO factor in pregnancy stuff, though. Clothes, new bras, takeaway craving food, folic acid, vitamins, RRL tea, whatever.

If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

Smokering is online now  
#27 of 28 Old 05-12-2008, 01:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
Hellga's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
well, looks like we'll be waiting a bit longer...our car broke today, and it's going to cost us around $1300 to either fix it, or get the ugly old car we've been offered. sigh.

we barely make that much in two months.

guess it's time to look for a real job.
Hellga is offline  
#28 of 28 Old 05-12-2008, 09:30 AM
 
kapatasana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: West Michigan
Posts: 293
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I took DH to this AMAZING store we have in our town that sells "baby/kid stuff" all kinds of slings/carriers, tons of cloth diapering materials/kits, wooden and organic toys, adorable clothing (including a lot of super cheap consignment stuff), etc. etc. etc. to buy a shower gift and basically forced him to look a the cloth diapering stuff with me, lol. After we left I said "Doesn't it make you want one just a LITTLE?" And he said "Sometimes I do want one just a little, but being in that store made me want one LESS because it reminded me how expensive they are". ARRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!! He then proceeded to tell me that when we have a kid we could never afford to cloth diaper. I quickly explained to him how much cheaper it is in the long run (and the ironic thing is, is that both of us had mothers who CD'd so I would think he would know) and I told him I didn't want us to have a crib or a stroller and that I wanted to breastfeed so that we would be saving a lot by doing things in a more natural way. He kind of got on board, but really I know the biggest thing is that we want at least one of us to have a steady job with insurance benefits and to move out of Western Michigan before we start TTC.
Anyway, I'm the type of person who buys a few high quility necessities that last a long time, and my husband is the type who buys TONS of cheap crap at discount places. He can't believe I'd spend $30 on lipstick (It lasted almost 2 years!) and I can't believe he'd spend $100 on cereal at Biglots (yup, that's 50 boxes of cereal, we did use them all eventually).
kapatasana is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off