Wanting but Waiting tribe - Page 11 - Mothering Forums
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#301 of 520 Old 07-14-2008, 09:09 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mrscompgeek View Post
I maybe the only one here with this problem but just in case....
Anyone else here want a baby so bad but yet terrified of complications that may happen during pregnancy, or of morning sickness or labor and delivery?
I have been reading books and this website and researching and talking to my midwife for about 6 months now and I pretty much know what I want to do and I am at peace about it but still down deep inside I worry about getting morning sickness so bad I have to quit working or that I not be able to handle the pain of labor without meds. (I am hoping for a home water birth so meds will be out of the question so I wont be able to have them in a weak moment. Which is good : )
What I have found to be extremely helpful in dealing with these types of fears is to get a piece of paper and a pen, find a quiet spot in the house and ask to not be disturbed, and write down each and every fear you have about this pregnancy and birth. Every one, even ones as simple as not knowing how to change a diaper, lol.

When you are done writing down your fears, it's research time. Research each and every fear; find out what the likelihood of it happening is, and how you can deal with it if it does happen. You may find out that some of these fears are very unlikely to happen, and even if they do happen, it can be dealt with easily. Some of the fears may be more likely to happen, and there might be no way to fix them. In that case, you would research and decide how you would cope with the fear if it did happen.

I'm a Birthing From Within mentor, so this might sound kind of biased, but if you all have not read the book "Birthing From Within", I really recommend doing so. It is not your average pregnancy book! There are all kinds of projects and assignments in the book that help you work through your fears...plus it's just a really neat book.

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#302 of 520 Old 07-14-2008, 09:12 AM
 
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Right - no pressure!
Yeah right! LOL!

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#303 of 520 Old 07-14-2008, 10:54 AM
 
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I hear you on the pressure thing. My husband insists it will happen the first time we try. No matter what I say he is convinced this is the way it will be.

DS 4/11

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#304 of 520 Old 07-14-2008, 11:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well I am convinced it will be first try for us ...lol.... But if I find out I was being naive...then...well...lol...

DS was a christmas eve baby lol...I am confident we will not fail. I have our sex nights planned out lol...Gotta make sure there are spermies sitting around waiting for that egg! I told DH to make sure he gets his rest as he will need it lol

Obviously...we shall see.

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#305 of 520 Old 07-14-2008, 11:30 AM
 
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I know - for the first time in *years* I am thinking about doing it more than once in a week. But hey, DH is happy. Trying is fun!

I have been pregnant twice, and both conceptions were on our first try, so of course I am assuming it will be the same for this one. As you said, we shall see!

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#306 of 520 Old 07-14-2008, 11:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by *Amy* View Post
I know - for the first time in *years* I am thinking about doing it more than once in a week. But hey, DH is happy. Trying is fun!

I have been pregnant twice, and both conceptions were on our first try, so of course I am assuming it will be the same for this one. As you said, we shall see!
Tell me about it lol...im about to have a years
worth of sex in a weeks time span lol

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#307 of 520 Old 07-14-2008, 06:35 PM
 
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Ha - for reals, Ann!!

So this is funny. My mom, who I am not very close with and speak to infrequently, just called to tell me that she had a dream last night that I had a baby boy with blond hair, and we named him Richard! I guess that Mama-Daughter connection must still exist on some level. It's especially freaky because I haven't even mentioned to her our thoughts about having another baby AND because I was on the phone *last night* like five times with my best friend, talking about baby boy names. Crazy!

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#308 of 520 Old 07-14-2008, 07:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ann_of_loxley View Post
Tell me about it lol...im about to have a years
worth of sex in a weeks time span lol

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#309 of 520 Old 07-16-2008, 04:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay - ive heard of strange dreams whilst you are pregnant...but I am starting to have some strange TTC dreams! lol

Last night I had a dream that I had a girl...For whatever reason my husband had to go somewhere with her for three days so I didnt see her for three days. He came home - we were living in a house that I used to live in when I was 9 yeatr old (odd lol) - and as my milk had not come in yet so my friend Dawn took it upon herself to try to breastfeed my baby. Now, normally (in non dream life lol), I wouldnt have a problem with 'co-feeding' (if thats what you want to call it lol) but I had not seen my baby in three days and it felt like everyone else was trying to take over how to care for her when that was my job so I got rather upset and took her away with me. I ended up in an old bedroom of mine where I tried to make myself comfortable on the bed to feed her but my cat was trying to sleep on the bed. When I went to feed my baby, she was a cat too! What?!... For some reason, this was normal in dream land lol... I had a thought that I need to keep her away from our house cat so she didnt think she was a pet as she was my baby and not our pet cat. lol Then when I actually got down to feeding her - she was a full grown child - but very small (Like she got shrunk) and she kept telling me she didnt want feeding! lol We decided to go out to the fair that was in town and for some reason I kept forgetting her in places whilst I was taking my son around to all the rides. People kept coming up to me saying 'Here miss, you forgot your baby'...what?! lol Then everyone at the fair kept trying to put a nappy on here whilst I was trying to explain that we did EC and I didnt want a nappy on her - after that, every time I forgot her, she was left inside my sons potty in random places...what?! lol Eventually I started to think 'omg, why do I keep forgetting my baby!' and started to carry her around everywhere with me but then we got stuck in the bathroom and then my in laws were there and they wanted to keep us trapped in the bathroom and every time we would get to the door to leave they keep adding on corridors and making the bathroom a bigger and bigger maze so that we could not find our way out. I woke up here....But...what and ODD dream!!!! omg! lol

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#310 of 520 Old 07-16-2008, 07:49 AM
 
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Wow - how bizarre! But reading it from an "outsider's" perspective, it sounds like a lot of normal mama anxiety there. It's interesting about dreams of going back to your childhood home; whenever I am feeling a lot of stress in my real life, I dream about being at my childhood home too.

Hey, can I ask y'all a question? I know many of you are charting, which I did to get pregnant with DD, but I don't remember all of the details. I noticed on Monday that I had CM the consistency of rubber cement! (Sorry, not to be gross or TMI.) The next day I had EWCM, but I was only on day 9 of my cycle, so that seemed a little early. I'm not temping though, and I only stopped taking the pill in April, so I think my cycles are still a bit wonky. Anyway, any ideas on the weird CM?

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#311 of 520 Old 07-16-2008, 08:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I get ewcm for up to a week before I ovulate!

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#312 of 520 Old 07-16-2008, 09:01 AM
 
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What a neat thread! :

I'm Melissa, partner to Ryan, mum to Zoe (5.5 years) and Rue (7 mnths).

We're looking to TTC late next spring, once I graduate with my BScN.

Actually, we were supposed to be TTC now, as I was *supposed* to have graduated THIS spring... but Rue surprised us.

Anyway, I have a copper IUD in, so I'm not really charting, but I'm familiar with all my fertility signs.

I'm not thrilled with the IUD, but dp and I are *very* fertile, sometimes disconcertingly so , and I'd rather not have any more surprises this year!

Nice to meet everyone!

Full time working mom to two bright and busy little girls! treehugger.gif
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#313 of 520 Old 07-16-2008, 09:28 AM
 
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Welcome, Melissa!

Amy, I have ovulated on CD 9 before...it was my earliest ever. I think it came that early do to stress. So yeah, you can definitely have eggwhite fluid on CD 9, or even before!

ann_of_loxley, I have also dreamed I was breastfeeding a pet before! In my case, it was my little dog Panda. It was SO WEIRD, lol, but really sweet.

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#314 of 520 Old 07-16-2008, 10:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow - how bizarre! But reading it from an "outsider's" perspective, it sounds like a lot of normal mama anxiety there. It's interesting about dreams of going back to your childhood home; whenever I am feeling a lot of stress in my real life, I dream about being at my childhood home too.
You know I never thought of it that way! Thats a very good perspective!

Also - I gave the cat thing some thought lol...I think for me what it means is that well...for the past two years we have got a cat, as a sort of 'hold me over'. A quick fix to the baby fever lol So in my dream I was all 'oh no - not another cat this year, I get a baby this time ...dont you dare change into a cat!' lol

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#315 of 520 Old 07-16-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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Add me please

hmmmm..... wanting but TTC is on hold but not for long I hope. I guess I do concider ourselfs TTC but honestly we can't. May 15th I was scheduled for my last depo.... oh silly me I never went to the appointment (on purpouse). I am hoping that my body will figure itself out. So I guess you could say that I am waiting untill tommorrow. (Keep say that untill it actully can happen)
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#316 of 520 Old 07-16-2008, 05:46 PM
 
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Ann- crazy dream! I have birthing dreams all the time, even right after I had Sebastian, I was already dreaming of having another

Welcome Melissa and tryingforbaby!

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My boys: S (4) & O (2) & Expecting #3 in Dec. 2011

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#317 of 520 Old 07-16-2008, 08:16 PM
 
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I joined the late July TWW club over in TTC. I should probably ovulate tomorrow or Friday, and hope to hold out until at least the 29th to POAS. So I guess I'm officially not "waiting" anymore!

Is anyone else trying right now, or are the next soonest trying in August?

I seriously cannot believe (after a zillion declarations that Brynn would be our one and only!!!) that I am currently : for and !!

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#318 of 520 Old 07-16-2008, 08:56 PM
 
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to the newbies!
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#319 of 520 Old 07-17-2008, 05:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by *Amy* View Post
I joined the late July TWW club over in TTC. I should probably ovulate tomorrow or Friday, and hope to hold out until at least the 29th to POAS. So I guess I'm officially not "waiting" anymore!

Is anyone else trying right now, or are the next soonest trying in August?

I seriously cannot believe (after a zillion declarations that Brynn would be our one and only!!!) that I am currently : for and !!
Well -FF says the earliest I ovulate is the 31st. I joined the 'in our 20s ttc july' thread on TTC...But theres no point in DTD for conception just yet!... I actually conclude I will ovulate on the 2nd of August. Either way - I cant test till mid August. So not really TTC yet...but near enough.

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#320 of 520 Old 07-17-2008, 09:46 AM
 
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I'm in the same boat as Ann. My husband and I are officially not preventing anymore, but I haven't gotten my period yet, so I don't expect to ovulate until around the 6th of August. But as soon as my period is over, we will be TTC!!! Yay!!! :

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#321 of 520 Old 07-17-2008, 10:30 AM
 
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I am also waiting for AF. The earliest I will O will be Aug. 2, but I probably will not O until the 5th. I'm so glad the time is finally here Is anyone going to join the one thread. I will be there and TTC#1 in out 30's., and probably the appropriate TTW club. I look forward to seeing all of you on the TTC boards.

DS 4/11

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#322 of 520 Old 07-17-2008, 11:44 AM
 
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Im still here...nothing much but complaining to contribute since my wait is still at least a year long.

Congratulations to all that are about to and are TTCing!

NMY actively making my dreams happen :
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#323 of 520 Old 07-17-2008, 12:30 PM
 
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Can I put myself into a new category? Wanting, but waiting until my DH stops being such a jerk!

He's not really a jerk.. but every once in a while, I get soooo sick of some of the things he does/says, it really makes me question having another child with him.. :

So.. I am officially on strike until he stops this *thing* that is bugging me so much.. so I don't know if we will even DTD, I am so fed up with him.



(it's nothing bad.. just annoying, I am just really sick of it.. I'm not meaning to paint my DH as a bad guy here, cause he is faaaar from it.)

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My boys: S (4) & O (2) & Expecting #3 in Dec. 2011

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#324 of 520 Old 07-17-2008, 12:48 PM
 
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I hear you on that. I feel like that about my DH sometimes too. Hopefully he stops being a pest soon. My DH usually gets over the pestyness when I start to ignore him, that's how he knows I'm really annoyed.

DS 4/11

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#325 of 520 Old 07-18-2008, 02:43 PM
 
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AF is due in the next two days, whoo only 2 more to after that! I just hate how she makes me feel. Bloated, cranky, fat, unattractive. Blah...good think hubby is in NY all weekend for a confrence.

Married Mom to K(8), K(7) & C born March 23rd.
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#326 of 520 Old 07-19-2008, 02:28 PM
 
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stretch, I joined the One Thread! There are categories for "Waiting to be Ready" and "Waiting for AF", which is what I'm under right now.

I can't wait to get my period, because then...OVULATION!!! :

Sprat sleepytime.gif, Certified Professional Midwife, loved very much by Sprig reading.gif, the most open-minded, loving, gentle man in the world, and now Sprout fly-by-nursing1.gif walking, talking, how on earth is she this big?! Rainbow.gif on earth.gif begins with homebirth.jpg.

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#327 of 520 Old 07-20-2008, 01:53 AM
 
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Hey all, new to the thread - or maybe not, maybe I posted forever ago, I don't remember.

Anyway, I could benefit from a little insight - we're waiting a few more months to TTC for a few reasons (career, finances, spacing), but now everyone else seems to be getting pregnant. I try to not let it get to me, but it's been really hard lately.

It's gotten so bad that today I know I'm ovulating, and it made me cry - I'm not a "crier," nor am I someone who's always pining over babies, I just have this serious biological clock issue. So much so that I was basically sitting in the bathroom crying b/c I was ovulating which seemed super weird both during and after. It's like proof that yes, I'm not pregnant yet and everyone else is.

That's a first for me - am I some super-freak b/c my body (and DH's) has decided it wants another baby, but our brains both don't... yet... ???

Amy, mama to "Pumpkin" (DD1, 5/16/06) and "Squashy" (DD2, 7/10/09)
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance"- Confucius
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#328 of 520 Old 07-20-2008, 05:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey all, new to the thread - or maybe not, maybe I posted forever ago, I don't remember.

Anyway, I could benefit from a little insight - we're waiting a few more months to TTC for a few reasons (career, finances, spacing), but now everyone else seems to be getting pregnant. I try to not let it get to me, but it's been really hard lately.

It's gotten so bad that today I know I'm ovulating, and it made me cry - I'm not a "crier," nor am I someone who's always pining over babies, I just have this serious biological clock issue. So much so that I was basically sitting in the bathroom crying b/c I was ovulating which seemed super weird both during and after. It's like proof that yes, I'm not pregnant yet and everyone else is.

That's a first for me - am I some super-freak b/c my body (and DH's) has decided it wants another baby, but our brains both don't... yet... ???
Oh hun ...we all know how you feel - this is why I wanted to start this thread - that doesnt make you a super freak, because if it does, then we are all super freaks!

The waiting is hard - especially when everyone around you seems to be pregnant and having babies. It doesnt help they say this year is a 'baby boom'...so its not just my imagination either!!! I have at least 6 friends currently pregnant due babies soon and 6 before them have already had their babies. It makes its so hard when you are so broody and wanting but know its best to wait for whatever reason whilst the world carries on without you. I try to be happy for my friends, but sometimes its hard . I really am happy for them but I do also feel jealous and :

At the end of the day though, this is what makes us human... My body may be yearning but I also have a brain. I am glad my brain has asked me to wait. It has given my body and mind time to heal after my sons birth, has given me more time to research and feel more confident in myself and my body, and what I feel is most important - has given my son that time he has needed with me and just me before I threw another little person into our relationship! I have come around in feeling confident in our decision (even though we have moved it up a few months! hehe).

I have to admit that we have moved it up a few months because I couldnt take it any longer. We originally planned to wait until December...no 'real' reason - just that I thought it would be fun to try for another Virgo in the family lol. But we moved it up because my sister-in-law decided to inform me she would be trying this October. I feel safe in telling everyone here this because I know you can all put yourself in my shoes and imagine how I felt then. It didnt help I also feel I have worked so hard for this (we have a house, a car, stable jobs and incomes, a stable and strong marriage going on fours years now, im not old but if been to uni and know where I am in life, etc)- shes 26 and has just moved out of the house to live on her own for the first time with a boyfriend (her 150th) she has only known for a year. Shes not 'stable'...she has never stuck with anything (including boyfriends and jobs - and school which she never finished!) and this is the first time she has ever lived on her own, and on her own income (no longer living with and off mum&dad). This sounds incredibly selfish of me but I am only being honest. I honestly feel she needs to live for herself a bit and get 'stable' before she brings such a dependent life into the world...the idea scares me as much as it makes me feel jealous. Its not my place to decide her life though and I have never told her any of this! But I cant help how I feel either - I have tried so hard to change that since last Christmas (when she didnt give an exact month, but informed me she would be trying 2008). I had to be honest with my self and how I would feel with any outcome. Even if it ends up taking us a long time to conceive, I can feel more happy in knowing that we are at least trying and that our family is at least settled and secure.

The wanting and waiting is easy compared to the wanting but not being able to wait because your DH doesnt want any more children. Now that was hard! I feel for any woman in this position - I totally know how they feel! It took two years for my husband to finally come around to the idea!...I thought I would go crazy. The will to live some days was really hard as crazy as I feel to admit that. I just couldnt come around to the idea of having only one child.

I need to step back and realise how lucky I really am though. I have a wonderful family and a beautiful son and the waiting has been worth it...oh so worth it.

Hang in there hun. : Your time will come sooner than you think!... In two months time my son will be three!...Where the heck has that time gone!!!

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#329 of 520 Old 07-20-2008, 11:17 AM
 
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First of all BambooMama, CONGRATULATIONS on finishing your PhD!!!! I am a PhD drop-out as of last month () so I am still kind of really in awe of people who stick it out. That is awesome!

I know what you mean about the biological clock issue, too, which is one reason we decided to go ahead and let the good times roll this year instead of waiting a year, which might have been a little bit more practical. I'm 35 though, and I have felt since before DD's birth that 36 would be the last year that I would want to do pregnancy or birth. (That's not to say 36 is too old - but for me, it was just my own mental cut-off point.)

There really is something to be said for making practical decisions, especially when you already have a 2-year old. But I also know that the heart always speaks louder than the head, even if the head makes the final decision in the end!

This group of women is wonderfully supportive, so welcome to the thread, and I hope you can find some peace here while you wait. (And PS: Yes, I think we are all super-freaks!!)

As for me...I am pretty sure I ovulated on Friday. I don't chart, but I had EWCM all week up until Saturday, then nada (and Friday was CD14). I'm not betting on conception this time around though because the last time DH and I DTD was on Thursday morning. I mean, I know it's still a possibility, but we didn't get the chance to shake our groove thang on Friday or yesterday...so we'll see. I'm OK with it though...but I'm sure I'll still be chomping at the bit to test on by 11 dpo.

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#330 of 520 Old 07-20-2008, 06:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ann_of_loxley View Post
Oh hun ...we all know how you feel - this is why I wanted to start this thread - that doesnt make you a super freak, because if it does, then we are all super freaks!

The waiting is hard - especially when everyone around you seems to be pregnant and having babies. It doesnt help they say this year is a 'baby boom'...so its not just my imagination either!!! I have at least 6 friends currently pregnant due babies soon and 6 before them have already had their babies.
Thanks for the sanity check. And, yep, 12 babies around you must be impossible. 5 of the women I know that are pregnant now had their first babies the same year we had our daughter - so basically, "the crew" has moved on to baby #2's, which leaves me the sole member w/o even a bean.

One of those women I have a similar issue to that you described - only it's that I don't agree with how they've handled their first child, who had some major medical issues then they basically didn't bond and are a perfect example of de-ttachment parenting. And now they're going to add another, that in utero already has some problems and already have all of the equipment ready to do some awesome de-ttachment parenting again just like they did for their first. : It's rough to stand by and watch all of this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Amy* View Post
First of all BambooMama, CONGRATULATIONS on finishing your PhD!!!! I am a PhD drop-out as of last month () so I am still kind of really in awe of people who stick it out. That is awesome!

I know what you mean about the biological clock issue, too, which is one reason we decided to go ahead and let the good times roll this year instead of waiting a year.... (That's not to say 36 is too old - but for me, it was just my own mental cut-off point.)
Well thanks. It wasn't how I'd planned grad school to go, but I'm glad we lived through it. I seriously considered just stopping soon after my DD's birth - I ended up losing my mind (probably some ppd issues combined with normal grad school depression), and essentially taking 9 months of maternity leave. So it was a rough road, but I'm glad it's over.

It's funny how much your mental cut off points are so important when it comes to these types of decisions. My mom and gram both had their first at 28, and weren't able to have another until 6 or 7 yrs later, respectively - at which point they were 34/35, then neither ever got preggo again. I started far earlier for my first - at 25, but my O symptoms are more prominent now than they've ever been in my life - cramps, serious CM (sorry, TMI), crazy obsessions with babies - I just can't shake the idea that this is my body's "last call."

What if in two months it starts to slow and I'm not ovulating consistently anymore just like what my mom/gram went through and we will have missed my last few fertile months?? If I don't have a baby in the next year or two, I'll then be forced to sacrifice my career for a variety of reasons, so suddenly I'll have a really really rough decision to make. So basically I have a window and I'm afraid every day that we're missing it for reasons like $$ or convenience, etc. Ugh.

Sorry for the book all. I'm glad you all are here, in case you couldn't tell.

Amy, mama to "Pumpkin" (DD1, 5/16/06) and "Squashy" (DD2, 7/10/09)
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance"- Confucius
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