Wanting but Waiting tribe - Page 13 - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-26-2008, 01:02 AM
 
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Hi all. I have baby fever here and my DH and I were planning to TTC in the fall but we aren't in a good place financially and think it'd be better to wait a while longer. We have a DS who is almost 18 months so he gets to be the center of all our attention a while longer than planned. We are going to make the best of the next year and hopefully be super ready by then!
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Old 07-26-2008, 02:40 AM
 
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You can add me to the list of "wanting but waiting for who KNOWS how long"!

(nak)

I've been sporadically lurking this thread but haven't felt like posting... finally this month I feel up to it because my baby fever has been surprisingly low! : it's weird... for soooo long it was such an agonizing thing, i kept praying it would just go away... well, now it kind of has and i'm just left feeling strange because i've had the intense feelings about it for a year now. im still wanting, but i just dont feel that urgency right now... maybe because my dd is getting a bit more independent and im getting a taste of what it's like to have a child rather than a baby, and im thinking to myself, "hmm, yeah, maybe i dont want to do that again just yet... " (cant anyway!) but then another part of me panics because then i think... damn, she's going to be into a totally different stage of life when it comes time to have another baby... how am I going to feel at that point having to start ALL over again at the beginning, you know? But i know i probably won't care when the time comes because who can resist a baby...

part of me just really wants another baby and i dont care WHEN... and another part of me really wants to be able to move into a new stage of life where my kids are more independent and can be more engaging, and i want to unschool too and im excited about that... but i dont want to move into that next stage with an only child. i hate the thought of her being our only child! so my ideal scenario would be to get pg within the next year and just get it out of the way (LOL!) but thats not going to happen so no point thinking about it. ugh. i hate this. i am glad for this little "break" from major baby lust though... just a month ago i was crying over seeing pregnant people or babies, but this month its not really phasing me much. im assuming it will come back with a vengeance though, especially since my two only friends are ttc right now
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Old 07-26-2008, 01:28 PM
 
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Hey mamas! So, I thought I would update ya'll on our situation. I am no longer on "strike" LOL as of 2 days ago.. my DH has been awesome, and on top of it all, we haven't prevented anything for the last 2 times we've DTD! :

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My boys: S (4) & O (2) & Expecting #3 in Dec. 2011

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Old 07-27-2008, 01:25 AM
 
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Another occasional lurker joining you (and thanks, Amy, for the reminder about this thread).

My DD will be three in November. The decision to not TTC was easy until now- DH was in grad school in the US, and there we were waiting until we were back in Canada for better health care and better maternity leave. Not to mention that my cycles didn't come back until DD was 21 months old, and that she was awake and nursing pretty non-stop all night until after her second birthday.

But since DD started sleeping more last winter, the desire for another baby has been steadily climbing.

Now we're back in Canada, and there is some desire to start TTC *now*. But all of the practical details get in the way- DH is job hunting, I just started a new job (with a contract to stay at least one year), good childcare is really hard to find and totally unaffordable for two kids. If we wait a while, DH can be more established in his career and we won't be totally broke when I take a year maternity leave and possibly work part-time afterwards. Plus if I wait to have a baby until fall of next year by the time my mat. leave ends she'll be ready to start kindergarten and the whole childcare situation may be much more manageable. But she's getting so grown up and I kind of miss having a little one around. And I'm afraid that if we wait too long we'll get used to the independence of an older child and not want to "go back" to the baby stage again. DD's babyhood was very sleepless and challenging for me, so I'm a little intimidated by planning to do it again. Note to self: no international moves in the first year of life!

Looking forward to getting to know all of you!

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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Old 07-27-2008, 12:10 PM
 
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Congrats to everyone who's moving on.. :

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
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Old 07-27-2008, 07:43 PM
 
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Well I thought I would update you ladies, my husband and I talked it over and while he was 100% ok with going ahead and ttc right away much to my surprize it is me that isn't ready. I feel like I need to give myself another chance to get in shape and make my body strong and I just don't feel like my daughter is ready for a sibling at all.

So I am in the wait until 2009 and then reassess and make a decision camp now too. Thanks for your support ladies, it is hard because half of me is sad that we wont be trying and I still long for a baby. Part of me is also glad that we are giving ourselves time to be prepared. Its so complicated.
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Old 07-27-2008, 08:13 PM
 
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Mel, I'm glad you made it over here!

Kama, it sounds like you are making the best decision for yourself and your family, so even though it may seem like a long time off, I'm sure it will be worth the wait!

Lizzy, glad you aren't on strike anymore and you can get on with the bizzzzness at hand!

Jaxxy and Granola mom, welcome to the tribe!

Well y'all, I am officially not wanting or waiting, as I got my this morning! So I'm headed off to the April '09 DDC. I hope to see some of y'all over in the DDCs next month!!! :

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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Old 07-27-2008, 08:15 PM
 
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Well y'all, I am officiall not wanting or waiting, as I got my this morning! So I'm headed off to the April '09 DDC. I hope to see some of y'all over in the DDCs next month!!! :
Wow! congrats! Happy and healthy nine months to you!

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
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Old 07-27-2008, 11:22 PM
 
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OH goodness, Congrats Amy!!!! :

NMY actively making my dreams happen :
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Old 07-27-2008, 11:25 PM
 
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Lizzy, glad you aren't on strike anymore and you can get on with the bizzzzness at hand!


Well y'all, I am officially not wanting or waiting, as I got my this morning! So I'm headed off to the April '09 DDC. I hope to see some of y'all over in the DDCs next month!!! :


Thanks!

And CONGRATS!!! :::

stillheart.gif The Hippie & the Marine stillheart.gif  hh2.gif
My boys: S (4) & O (2) & Expecting #3 in Dec. 2011

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Old 07-27-2008, 11:40 PM
 
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Congrats amy!


Mel it is so hard when the practical stuff gets in the way isn't it? I have never been so divided on an issue.
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Old 07-28-2008, 12:19 AM
 
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Well y'all, I am officially not wanting or waiting, as I got my this morning! So I'm headed off to the April '09 DDC. I hope to see some of y'all over in the DDCs next month!!! :
congrats!!


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Old 07-28-2008, 04:47 PM
 
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Can I join you girls? We will probably be TTC in Sept (might change, but we'll see).

DD is 2.5 and ideally we would've been TTC earlier but a number of thigns came up... I was hoping to get my braces off first (but my orthodontist is being a PITA, insisted my teeth aren't DONE yet!! ). And we bought a house this spring, it was a foreclosure and I refuse to TTC until the master bathroom is operational!

I got my IUD out in early June and am charting. I'm taking vitamins, folic acid, calcium, probiotics and milk thistle, and on the advice of my new midwife had my PCP run some blood tests but I won't get the results back for maybe 7 more days.

I have terrible baby fever right now but in my first pregnancy I had hyperemesis and am really quite scared of being pregnant again. L&D was the only good part last time.

Erin, mom to DD (1/06) and DS (10/09)
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Old 07-29-2008, 06:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Congrats Amy!!! - I hope to be joining you! hehe

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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Old 07-29-2008, 09:09 AM
 
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Congrats Amy!!! - I hope to be joining you! hehe
I just looked at your chart. I hope you and your DH are getting some good alone time this week!!

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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Old 07-29-2008, 10:20 AM
 
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Congrats Amy!

Well, nothing new to post for me. Still no AF after BC. Today is day 76. August 14th is 3 months without a AF so If nothing shows up before that I am going to my GYN. We were hoping to start TTC in September so we are anxious for AF. So if all goes well I will hopefully be in the June or July DDC. No idea how long it will take to get pregnant since this is the first. Question for any of you who are pregnant on here- do I need to be taking B6 vitamins yet? My Midwife told me to start taking them before I get pregnant to help keep the morning sickness at bay if I do suffer from it, but how early before I get pregnant do I need to start?
I have been biten by the baby bug ALOT more lately! A good friend of mine is 6 weeks pregnant and while I am extremely happy for her since she has been trying for over a year with a miscarriage before this, It still hard on me!!
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Old 07-29-2008, 10:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just looked at your chart. I hope you and your DH are getting some good alone time this week!!

Oh we certainly are hehe......I am due to O any day now really. FF predict the 31st as my earliest O! im so excited!!! and dh is tired lol - hes never usually this lucky lol

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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Old 07-29-2008, 11:44 AM
 
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Mel, I'm glad you made it over

Jaxxy and Granola mom, welcome to the tribe!

Well y'all, I am officially not wanting or waiting, as I got my this morning! So I'm headed off to the April '09 DDC. I hope to see some of y'all over in the DDCs next month!!! :

Thank you and congratulations!
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Old 07-29-2008, 02:18 PM
 
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we've been doing ALOT of practice BD as well! jeesh! i am tired! i'd say about 6x as much practice BD as normal! we're going to be tuckered out if we don't pace ourselves....or is that possible?
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Old 07-29-2008, 04:27 PM
 
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Congrats Amy!

DH and I have somewhat changed our plan not avoiding but not trying for Sept and then trying in the Oct/Nov timeframe. Still pretty much avoiding for August. I got my first pp af on Saturday and while I hate getting it, at least its an assurance that my body is somewhat back to normal.

Jenn

Jenn EDD 3/20/10 with two 3/06 Jaden 06/08
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Old 07-29-2008, 04:50 PM
 
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oh...i forgot to mention this nugget of hope that dh said yesterday. we were discussing tatoos (i want 5...just like i want 5 kids and somehow i always come up with a 5 car garage for dh and 5 houses "commune" style...maybe its my lucky number?) anywho...he wanted a tatoo with the kids names but didn't want to do the old english thing and actually said that even after we have a 3rd he knows i still want a 4th and that it was inevitable : and he even said something about a MINIMUM of 4....double :: so there is hope in my tunnel of later kids : wow...i've never used that smiley this much! :

anywho we had 2 ideas for tatoos...ok my ideas really. really corny: kids are a ray of sunshine so have a cresting sun with the large rays with the kids names. : and hes into muscle cars so have a car that represents each kid (different kinds) and have their name emblazened on the side/hood or under the matchbox size car. cute huh?
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Old 07-29-2008, 06:08 PM
 
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yay! i would be as stoked as you if my hubby said that!!!!
:

mdcblog5.gif   Liz mama to DS 10, DSS 9, DD 6, DS 3, DD 2 , Aquila- dec 19th 2009 died at my homebirth, and....welcome Willow born 9-16-10 (9 weeks early)  nut.gif
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Old 07-29-2008, 06:49 PM
 
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anywho we had 2 ideas for tatoos...ok my ideas really. really corny: kids are a ray of sunshine so have a cresting sun with the large rays with the kids names. : and hes into muscle cars so have a car that represents each kid (different kinds) and have their name emblazened on the side/hood or under the matchbox size car. cute huh?
your tattoo idea sounds cool! i like it more than all the cars

stillheart.gif The Hippie & the Marine stillheart.gif  hh2.gif
My boys: S (4) & O (2) & Expecting #3 in Dec. 2011

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Old 07-29-2008, 08:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yay! i would be as stoked as you if my hubby said that!!!!
:
I would think my hubby had a serious head injury if he said that to me lol
I would love four children...Ive just about managed to get him to 'ok' two! hehe (and that took a few years!)

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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Old 07-30-2008, 01:03 PM
 
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I've been avoiding this thread for a while, now, because I hoped I could just pretend that baby plans weren't dominating my thoughts. Now that we are planning to TTC in my next cycle (with O probably at the beginning of September), I can't contain myself anymore!

When my partner and I got married a few years ago, I agreed I would be willing to have a child, but the idea didn't appeal to me much. I was glad to put it off a few years. We had a lot of heated discussions in which I said I considered motherhood the end of my independence and the end of my dreams, and he told me that was silly and that mothers accomplish things other than mothering. In the end, he convinced me. We decided that the end of this summer would be time to TTC, and I marked this summer as the last summer of non-motherhood, which included plans for a little adventure that got thwarted by war.

But somehow during the summer I became <i>obsessed</i> with pregnancy, baby care, and parenting and have been reading, reading, reading. All the reading has stoked my interest, and now my husband and I are in the same mindset: It's agony to wait another month. Our desire to stop planning, to stop what-if-ing, and to just get this adventure started is almost visceral.

One of the things I find myself contemplating is how I've spent nearly every cycle my whole post-menarche life (even before I was sexually active) worrying that I might be pregnant. This is the one time in my life when I actually want to be pregnant. The other thing I keep thinking about is how I don't even know that I <i>can</i> get pregnant, because I've never tried!

Anyway, I'm going a little crazy here! And it's nice to know I'm not alone!


Mama to a bilingual (Arabic/English) and cuddly 3 year old, and planning another peaceful homebirth in June.
 

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Old 07-30-2008, 06:12 PM
 
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I volunteered at a local thrift store this week and baby things kept catching my eye: nursing pillow, tiny clothes and shoes, too-old/ripped clothing being thrown away that would have made great cloth diapers materials...

I have one wonderful husband and one wonderful little toddler boy!
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Old 08-01-2008, 02:30 AM
 
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sky_and_lavender, you're so close to TTC! Of course the obsession is starting to build

BanadaBreadGirl, I always browse the baby racks of thrift stores, and buy the "can't miss" deals. Some of it I pass on to family and friends, but I've been known to keep some, too

Amy, I watched your video of Brynn talking about her sister. Butterfly is such a cute name! Neela asks for a baby sister who she wants to call "practical pig" (as in the one who built the house out of bricks).

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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Old 08-01-2008, 02:40 AM
 
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BanadaBreadGirl, I always browse the baby racks of thrift stores, and buy the "can't miss" deals. Some of it I pass on to family and friends, but I've been known to keep some, too
Oh, I don't even dare browse too much. Don't want to start any small-town rumors. Although I do have plenty of expecting/have-new-baby friends/relatives I could be shopping for.

I have one wonderful husband and one wonderful little toddler boy!
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Old 08-02-2008, 08:07 AM
 
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Hi everyone, I think I need to join this tribe. My name is Latia and I'm a birth and postpartum doula as well as an infant nanny. My boyfriend and I have an almost 5 y.o. son named Conner. We're planning to start TTC in October. We'll be living in VA until May/June 2009 (my bf is in law school there) and I want to wait to get pregnant because I want to have the baby once we move back to CA for good. I figure it's better for us to make the move cross-country when I'm still pregnant instead of moving with a newborn! With my son, I moved once when I was 6 months pregnant and again when I was 2 weeks postpartum, and it was definately easier when I was pregnant. So if I get pregnant in October I'd be due in July and we would be all settled in CA and my bf would have just finished taking the bar exam and would have the entire summer off before starting work in the fall. We'd be planning another home/waterbirth. Our son was not "planned" at all, so this time I'm excited to actually plan a pregnancy and be as healthy and prepared as possible.

Here's what I've been doing to prepare for TTC:

1). I haven't been on any type of hormonal birth control since before my son was born so I don't need to get off anything. I've been charting for three years now on fertility friend so I know my cycle like the back of my hand. I'm pretty lucky in that I'm pretty regular-- cycle averages 28 days with ovulation usually happening on day 15!

2). I just starting taking an actual "prenatal" vitamin this month, in addition to a separate folic acid, iron (with additional folic acid in it), and vitamin D supplement that I've been taking for months. I just added a calcium supplement and magnesium as well (Natural Calm). I also started drinking RRL tea occasionally. I took RRL religiously from 5 weeks to postpartum during my last pregnancy and had a VERY easy birth experience.

3). I actually don't have medical insurance right now (since I'm a self employed doula and nanny) so that's a priority I need to get on. I would be planning another homebirth and am prepared to pay out-of-pocket anyways, but insurance would be good in case of some kind of transfer. And I know it's pretty hard to get insurance once you're already pregnant so I need to figure it all out soon.

4). I hadn't been to the dentist in several years so I finally got in and got my teeth cleaned and had to get two cavities filled this week. :-(

5). I haven't had an annual well-woman exam since my son was 1 1/2 and I finally made an appointment at a clinic for August 12th. Once I get my insurance all figured out I'll probably go in for a more thorough pre-conception check-up.

6). I have my boyfriend taking a men's multivitamin since I want his sperm to be as "healthy" as possible! The men's multi has extra zinc and selenium which is necessary for optimal sperm quality.

7). I plan to re-read the pregnancy part in TCOYF and I have the Shettles book to read since we will be trying for a girl this time around.

8). I REALLY want to start eating more fruits and vegetables. We eat very healthy, but I definately don't eat enough fruits and vegetables. I ALWAYS make sure my son has a fruit and vegetable at every meal, but I don't do the same for myself!

9). I don't need to lose any weight (I've always been very thin), but I want to start being more active. I didn't really exercise at all during my last pregnancy, and I want to this time-- even if it just means walking every day. And I will definately be doing my prenatal yoga dvd regularly this time. Once we get back to VA (we're in CA right now for 3 more weeks) I want to try and "tone up." Our apartment complex has a brand new gym that I can see from my bedroom window and I've NEVER even used it!


So that's it for now. Geez, I sound like a HUGE planner-- but I'm just bored and it's been fun getting prepared!

Latia (Birth & Postpartum Doula and Infant Nanny)
Mom to Conner (8/19/03) and Parker (5/23/09)::::
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Old 08-05-2008, 12:30 AM
 
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essnce629 - great list! I am working on many of the things you listed as well to prepare for TTC in six months.

I just bought TCOYF and will be charting to avoid for six months. I am going off birth control pills in one week....woohoo! I am never taking the pill again! It will be great to get the hormones out of my system before we TTC.

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Our beautiful baby girl arrived 2/17/2010
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