Wanting but Waiting tribe - Page 17 - Mothering Forums

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#481 of 520 Old 11-10-2008, 12:59 AM
 
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Seriously wanting but waiting for several reasons. 1. I want a another baby but don't really feel like being pregnant right now 2. Don't want to jeopardize my nursing relationship with DD 3. Want to wait until we have a bigger place
DH seems to be wanting right now. I got my first pp period a few weeks ago and we were at the store buying pads and the condoms are in the same isle. I went to grab some (since I know I'm fertile and don't want to risk it with pull out method) and DH says "No, if we have another then we have another." I love him so much. Just not ready yet...

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#482 of 520 Old 11-12-2008, 04:32 PM
 
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Glad I found this thread!

DS is 17 months and I always thought I wanted my kids to be super close in age but the older DS got, the more I realized I wasn't ready yet! I want more kids, just not now.

I am thinking about TTC Summer 2009 (although the closer it gets the more scary it seems!). That would leave about a 3 year age difference between DS and the new baby, which I think would be perfect for us. I really want to be able to SAH once we have another kid, so waiting will give us time to save money and pay off our car loans so we can afford to have a SAHP.

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#483 of 520 Old 11-14-2008, 02:08 AM
 
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We're probably waiting until 2010, which has gotten really depressing. I thought it would be fun to be child free for 3 yrs but it's gotten boring. Maybe I'm just tired of working. We're waiting to 1.) pay off student loans, 2.) buy a house. My dh may also be getting a new job soon which could accelerate these things. I'm working up the courage to ask him if I could cta while he will be gone for 4 months on training and then ttc after he got back. We'll see. Right now I'm being a big chicken about it!:

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#484 of 520 Old 11-14-2008, 06:21 PM
 
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Add me to wanting but waiting until 2010.

I think I was struck with wanting another the day after she was born, lol, but physically, not a good idea........

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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#485 of 520 Old 11-15-2008, 12:58 PM
 
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Hi everyone! Glad to find this thread, I definately belong here. I've been wanting another since dd was 4yrs old, but since she's reached 5yrs those desires have got stronger and stronger!

I'm pretty sure I'll be doing this as a single mom again. So could you add me to the list for ttc in July 09? (that's the month/year I have decided on) thanks.

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#486 of 520 Old 11-16-2008, 08:52 PM
 
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Not sure what I posted before, that will probably be different then what I am about to post, but anyway... We have now decided to start trying again in July/August 2009, planning for a early-ish summer baby. As per my MIL premonition the next will be a boy.... Hahaha. And I still have my July newborn boy clothes so that would be nice to have at least some clothes.

So if all goes according to this idea, my ds will be almost 4, and my dd will be 2.5. That sounds pretty doable to me. I am not too worried right now about anything sooner as AF hasn't even returned yet. So who knows. I would like a halloween baby, but maybe things might happen in the late winter. Whatever happens will be great. I think I have definitely crossed the hump in having two kids so close together (17 months). We shall see!
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#487 of 520 Old 11-23-2008, 02:22 PM
 
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Ive been avoiding this thread, for various reasons, but ive been having a REALLY baby feverish weekend. The whole "achey-ness" of it all is SO frustrating. And its weird because the last two weekends, hubby and I have been doing more "going-out-at-the-drop-of-a-dime-with-friends-events-that-you-cant-do-if-we-had-kids-by-now" things than ever. Im so confused about it. 2008 has been a great transition year, but I feel like 2009 is when things will come into fruition....or at least that's what I hope.

Doesn't help hubby is dreaming of moving (AGAIN!) to the south so we can have a slower pace of life, affordable housing with big fat yards for babies to run around in.

I just turned 29, so the march to 30 is in full effect. Not to mention the fact that im officially older than my mother was when she first got pregnant with me.

You know how people wish that they had more time to just BE by themselves, spend QT with their spouses/partners, sleep in, go out, travel etc before they had kids? Well, im starting to feel the opposite, lol. We've had TOO much time to ourselves, lol. Granted, there is still some traveling to be had, hanging out with friends to be done and we can NEVER sleep in too much, right?

I also hate the fact that I feel I have to "sour grape it out". In other words, come up with reasons you are glad you dont have what you really want, lol. That sucks. So i try not to sour grape it out, but rather count my current blessings.

I think Im just ready for 2009 to get here. Lots of things to do next year. Trying to fight the feeling that I wish I could just fast forward my life. Gotta enjoy every precious moment right? Sigh. Right.

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#488 of 520 Old 11-23-2008, 02:35 PM
 
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Do you argue about it? Talk about it? Do you discuss it as a maybe or hold it in? Hoping for an accident? What do you say, and what does he say?

We've been on a steady progress path that I can see I leading to TTC from me just wanting but waiting, to now us actually talking about it, and what needs to happen first. I also see it taking at least another year or so. It's driving me insane! I can't wait, I don't want to wait, I don't even care about doing things "the right way".

We know we'll get married, we have a pretty big family, so wedding will be a cost that we cannot bear at the moment. I know, I know... babies require financial stability. We are not in a big hole, we are just not in a place where we'd like to be.

His objections:
* Things need to happen in the right order, and we are "not there" yet.
* Wedding with a big family, such as ours, is a cost we shouldn't be taking on right now.
* We still don't own a house (even though the place we are renting is an excellent townhouse).
* His job is not stable at the moment. The company just laid off half the employees. We are concerned about them being able to stay afloat next year.

I can't wait for a baby... I am faithfully using BC, but boy, am I praying for an accident.

New endeavor coming soon...
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#489 of 520 Old 11-23-2008, 11:44 PM
 
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Do you argue about it? Talk about it? Do you discuss it as a maybe or hold it in? Hoping for an accident? What do you say, and what does he say?
Well, we don't argue about it, thas one thing at least *I* refuse to do. Its not like we're not on the same page about it; I just hate the waiting and he doesn't, lol. To him, we could wait a million years, it seems, while im watching my cycles pass me by on some "I coulda been PREGNANT BY NOW!" lol. I silently wish I had one of those husbands that couldnt WAIT to knock their wife up, lol.

I am only consoled by the fact that my husband does talk about future kids in hypothetical terms (sometimes on his own even! lol) and that he's been envisioning us moving down south so that we could have a big house and yard for kids to run around in (his words). Still, it sucks to see people our age (AND WAY YOUNGER) on their first, second and THIRD babies and Im still over here yearning for just the PROSPECT of TTCing. I know that the road to motherhood is a series of "hurry up and wait", but WOW if this part of waiting sucks so bad, how would I be once I finally start TTCing! THAT wait has GOT to be suckiest suck suck suckiest of waiting (i lurk in the ttcing forum lol) and I must be in for some serious heartache that way.

Sigh, anywho. But no, we dont argue over anything kid related. We do talk about things in HYPOTHETICALS. I mean, our original agreement upon marrying was that we would wait 5 years (what was i thinking, I should have negotiated for 3! lol) and then start ttcing. So, according to that agreement, we would start in August 2009. Its still so far away to us that we have not discussed it in concrete terms, yet Ive been doing subtle things to get ready (making sure I get good health insurance, switching our diet to organic, taking fish oil, setting up my business so that I can be a self-employed, work from home mama and then as of late, him with this 'lets move down south so we can get a big house and yard for kids' thing). But we haven't said 'Ok, so THIS date next year, we are throwing the condoms away and we will be OFFICIALLY trying for our first". THAT hasnt come out of any of our mouths ever, actually. Even our agreement was fuzzy, like 5 years and then we'll see if we're ready. Blah.

I have VERY briefly hoped for an accident, but not really. Im scared an accident would totally ruin us or something. Its a real frightening thing for me. I mean, i know we'd adjust, but I worry that if I did become pregnant before we were ready to try, that all kinds of things would go wrong, lol. Its probably an irrational fear of mine, because people adjust to surprise pregnancies everyday. So nah, i dont sincerely hope for an accident (yet). A lot of that has to do with the fact that we are not in the place financially where we need to be to bring a life into this world, but Lord knows once we are, I will be chomping at the bit to get pregnant and I think hubby knows that. Sometimes, i think he may be chomping at the bit to get me pregnant too (he smiles and points out every cute little baby/toddler/little kid we come across lol), but does it as silently as I do, lol.

I mean, we've talked over and over again about what kind of parents we want to be, talked about some of our parenting choices together (homebirth, not vaxing, still working on the circ convo, homeschooling, etc). So there's no shortage on that. I guess I just feel isolated in how I feel. I think the times when my baby fever feels validated is whenever he mentions us and kids on his own. Then, Im comforted in knowing that , hey, he's still on the same page as me! lol I seriously doubt he's a frustrated in waiting as I am though, simply for the biological fact that I have womb and limited supply of eggs and he doesn't, lol. Like, i know that once we get started having kids, we going to have to, hopefully, go fast, to get the number of kids that we want (biologically). But thas another tangent, lol.

Anywho, this is really long, lol. Just know that i definitely feel you on your honey wanting EVERYTHING to be right in and order and all that before you even think about TTCing. Sometimes, i think my hubby is comforted in feeling like this bad economy gives him more time to point how how unstable things are, lol. But I also do not want to bring a child into the world and we're worrying about how to afford it and live the lifestyle conducive to our family values. It sucks waiting to get there!!!!

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#490 of 520 Old 11-26-2008, 04:00 AM
 
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I'm feeling very baby feverish. Desperately wanting my first but waiting.

And I just turned 30 a few months ago!!! That made it worse. haven't even been here since then hoping that I could avoid the constant nagging thoughts. But then I saw a long lost friend with her baby today and it tears me up inside.

We are waiting for a few reasons. One is that we want to be a bit more financially stable. I want to not have to work well I have little ones so we want to eliminate CC debt. Another is that I want to make sure that I can endure the temperatures at work without being miserable while pregnant. The area I work in has no air or heat. So I don't want to be in the 3rd trimester in the summer. That's it. We hope to start trying in March. :
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#491 of 520 Old 11-26-2008, 01:45 PM
 
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I'm feeling very baby feverish. Desperately wanting my first but waiting.

And I just turned 30 a few months ago!!! That made it worse. haven't even been here since then hoping that I could avoid the constant nagging thoughts. But then I saw a long lost friend with her baby today and it tears me up inside.

We are waiting for a few reasons. One is that we want to be a bit more financially stable. I want to not have to work well I have little ones so we want to eliminate CC debt. Another is that I want to make sure that I can endure the temperatures at work without being miserable while pregnant. The area I work in has no air or heat. So I don't want to be in the 3rd trimester in the summer. That's it. We hope to start trying in March. :
Hey, at least you have March to look forward to! I'm still up in the air with the plans wanting to TTC my first.

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
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#492 of 520 Old 11-26-2008, 05:22 PM
 
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Ditto!


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hey, at least you have march to look forward to! I'm still up in the air with the plans wanting to ttc my first.

NMY actively making my dreams happen :
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#493 of 520 Old 11-27-2008, 11:47 PM
 
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Hey, at least you have March to look forward to! I'm still up in the air with the plans wanting to TTC my first.
I feel greedy posting when people say things like that. But I really am looking forward to TTC... DS was an oops!

DH is getting the baby fever now, he spent the other night looking up pics of newborns on the internet. We still must wait. MUST WAIT.

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#494 of 520 Old 11-28-2008, 10:33 PM
 
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Hello everyone!

I've been waiting since hours after DS was born for the conversation I had with DH on Monday. He's agreeable (with many, many reservations - which, I share) to ttc babe #2.

Our reservations are about the on-going difficulties we have with DS1. We'll be waiting until he's 3 (Nov of 2009) to have or conceive (as we hope to be in a better financial place by then, too).

I'm absolutely terrified of having another (even if his/her temperament is mild compared to DS's, it will still be hard to manage DS plus another). At the same time, I can hardly contain the joy and relief I felt once DH and I agreed to try for another.

Looking forward to reading everyones stories.

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#495 of 520 Old 11-30-2008, 05:25 AM
 
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I have serious baby fever this weekend and it's driving me crazy. Enough so that I'm tempted to allow DH to do his thing and not pull out. He is fine having a baby "whenever". I'm the one who wants to wait for two reasons. The first reason is I want to lose about 15 lbs before ttc. Second, I'm a teacher and if I got pregnant now the baby would be due in Aug/Sep, not ideal timing. I'd like to wait to ttc until May or June of 2009. I know it's not that far away it's just with the way I feel this weekend, I don't know if I can last that long

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#496 of 520 Old 11-30-2008, 09:29 PM
 
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Hi, I'm here, I recently had a 13 week loss, and I just got my period back for the first time, I was told to wait at least a cycle and I think with dh being out of town this month and more traveling to come it will be a couple before we get back to business. I want to detox and drop some weight in the interim so I have a few reasons that I am not pregnant and won't be for a bit. I want to be now though.
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#497 of 520 Old 12-15-2008, 04:24 PM
 
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I may be joining you ladies. I'm feeling ready for #2 and was getting really excited at the thought, but dh is unsure about his job (he's pretty much deciding if he'll switch jobs this spring or next spring) and I don't want us to have to switch insurance and move (probably to another state) mid-pregnancy. If we were to stay in this area, I feel like we'd have to time it carefully since the closest CNM who travels to our area is probably 1.5 hrs away and we live in a huge lake-effect snow area so I don't want to be snowed in for a homebirth with no midwife! So we already decided we pretty much can't conceive a child who would be due anytime mid November to early April-ish. The sucky thing is that our window to conceive a child who would be born before our big snow season next year is narrowing and dh probably won't know about his job until that window of opportunity is over. However, if we wait until the next window of opportunity (so having a child born spring 2010) and he does stay at his job another year, spring 2010 is around when we'll be moving and I don't want to move with a newborn.

So I feel like the best option is to just move this spring and conceive shortly after moving, but every time I talk to DH about it he gets upset, saying he can't decide about his job yet and blah blah blah. Not to mention, he changes hom mind every few minutes. One second he'll get annoyed about something at work and say "I'm getting my resume ready to send out, I found some job listings that look interesting" and the next second he'll say "yeah, but I do have good hours and flexibility that I probably wouldn't have at another job and I should probably have more experience before switching to another job" etc. So my head is spinning. And if we are staying here for another year, I think it would be best to conceive soon so by the time we do move the following year, at least the baby would be 6-7 months old or so, rather than like 1 month old. Which would be a huge adjustment on dd as well, new baby and move all at once... no thanks.
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#498 of 520 Old 12-15-2008, 05:32 PM
 
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Hello all,
I am dying to be pregnant again and to have a brand new babe to hold and love.
We are very happy with our family, but I certainly don't feel that it is complete.
DH is very agreeable to another child, although he would rather wait much longer than I.
We have agreed to start TTC our 3rd and last child in April 2009, I tell you it can't come soon enough.
I had the Mirena taken out on Dec 1st and will be CTA until April.
Lu.

Lu married to DH, mom to DD Nov 2005, DS Sep 2007 and DD Nov 6, 2009
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#499 of 520 Old 12-15-2008, 05:35 PM
 
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Add me in, i was in the conceiving in our 20's but things are a little chaotic here again so i am waiting.

Melanie- Mama to my super hero daughter superhero.gif bravely battling brain cancer. ribbongrey.gif ribbongold.gif  www.fightformaddie.com  and expecting 1sttri.gif 1/13!!!!

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#500 of 520 Old 12-15-2008, 08:49 PM
 
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I am still here! Counting down the months until we can TTC our first. I am trying not to obsess but it is hard. I can't wait!

Our beautiful baby girl arrived 2/17/2010
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#501 of 520 Old 12-16-2008, 02:43 PM
 
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I am still here! Counting down the months until we can TTC our first. I am trying not to obsess but it is hard. I can't wait!
I feel the same way! I'm so excited to ttc and my plan is to wait until May. But, that seems so far away to me. When I think about it rationally I know it's not that long. It's just waiting is excruciating for me. I was counting down the days for awhile. I don't know if that helps or makes it feel even longer.

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#502 of 520 Old 12-16-2008, 03:02 PM
 
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I have about 5 reasons why we need to wait to TTC:
Work-maternity leave
Money
Weight (mine)
time with other kids
Time with husband

BUT it's so darn hard! We aren't really actively avoiding, but I'm def aware of ovulation. I know I should be doing more to prevent. I really want my kids to be close together. I also wanted to have a spring baby next time and that means waiting 6 more months to TTC. Please talk some sense into me! I don't need to get pregnant now!

Emily, WOHM to Joshua (05) River (08) HBAC,  Rylee (09) HBAC and Levi (coming 8/11) planning another HBAC 

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#503 of 520 Old 12-16-2008, 04:27 PM
 
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I have about 5 reasons why we need to wait to TTC:
Work-maternity leave
Money
Weight (mine)
time with other kids
Time with husband

BUT it's so darn hard! We aren't really actively avoiding, but I'm def aware of ovulation. I know I should be doing more to prevent. I really want my kids to be close together. I also wanted to have a spring baby next time and that means waiting 6 more months to TTC. Please talk some sense into me! I don't need to get pregnant now!
I feel the same way! I want a spring baby too. But, when I think about waiting until June to ttc in order to have a spring baby, wow that is far away! I'm also losing weight and I told myself that I'm not allowed to ttc until I lose it. But, I should reach my goal weight by February. I don't know how I'll wait from March to June without ttc.

My other reason for waiting to ttc is that I'm a teacher. If I get pregnant in March, I'd have the baby in December. I'd take a few months off and have to come back to school. If I have a baby anytime Feb-June I'll be able to stay home with the baby until late August until I go back to school. But then I think, if I wait to ttc until May so I have a February baby, there is no guarantee that it will happen right away. Part of my is scared that it will take awhile and that as soon as I reach my goal weight I should ttc. I feel better after writing that last sentence. Maybe I should listen to myself and just not try and also not prevent after I reach my goal weight. I feel better about that than waiting until June. Well, it will take me at least 6 weeks to reach my goal weight, so I have lots of time to think about it.

Lol, can you tell that I'm a little obsessive

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#504 of 520 Old 12-16-2008, 08:59 PM
 
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I feel the same way! I want a spring baby too. But, when I think about waiting until June to ttc in order to have a spring baby, wow that is far away! I'm also losing weight and I told myself that I'm not allowed to ttc until I lose it. But, I should reach my goal weight by February. I don't know how I'll wait from March to June without ttc.

My other reason for waiting to ttc is that I'm a teacher. If I get pregnant in March, I'd have the baby in December. I'd take a few months off and have to come back to school. If I have a baby anytime Feb-June I'll be able to stay home with the baby until late August until I go back to school. But then I think, if I wait to ttc until May so I have a February baby, there is no guarantee that it will happen right away. Part of my is scared that it will take awhile and that as soon as I reach my goal weight I should ttc. I feel better after writing that last sentence. Maybe I should listen to myself and just not try and also not prevent after I reach my goal weight. I feel better about that than waiting until June. Well, it will take me at least 6 weeks to reach my goal weight, so I have lots of time to think about it.

Lol, can you tell that I'm a little obsessive

You're not obsessive! I change my mind every other day! LOL. If I were a teacher though, I would definitely be going for a March/April baby. Most definitely. It is so hard!!! WTG for being so close to your goal weight though!!!

Emily, WOHM to Joshua (05) River (08) HBAC,  Rylee (09) HBAC and Levi (coming 8/11) planning another HBAC 

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#505 of 520 Old 12-19-2008, 08:18 AM
 
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wow, a whole group of other women wanting but waiting.

Praying for an accident... yeah that kinda describes me, though I know that now is not the time.

but as newmommy said so perfectly on the first page,
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Originally Posted by newmommy27 View Post
I know we have a soul waiting for us...(s)he seems impatient
I have such vivid dreams about her, and sometimes I wake from them having to stifle my frantic cries for my child who is suddenly gone from my arms, until I wake up fully and remember she's nothing more than a 'twinkle in my eye', though that doesn't particularly calm me down always *sighs* is that crazy?

we aren't ready for kids yet, for a few reasons. I absolutely want to wait (unless an accident comes along of course. While I am 100% pro Choice, my own soul would offer me no choice, not that I would want it) until we are more financially stable. Our current financial situation doesn't seem fair to bring a child into. I'd really love to be in a situation where I could stay home at least until they were in school (or maybe homeschooling I don't know), and he would as well.

DP (lol, I've been calling him BF but I love that term... Dear partner, perfect description) and I want to have a nice (though somewhat small) wedding, and then a few years to ourselves before TTC. Also, one or both of us may be going back to school in the next year or two, which would of course make things harder.

The biggest reason though, is the financial stuff. My parents were able to provide a life where I never had to worry about where the rent was coming from or whether dinner would be on the table all week, and I will ensure my children never have to as well, somehow, no matter when I have them. It would be a lot easier to do so if WE weren't worrying about such things lol.

But god, babysitting my 8 month old cousin so his mama could get some work done these past few months, though an utter delight, made my heart yearn so. I'd say we're, lord and lady willing, 4-6 years out, no more, and while I'd far prefer it to be 4, I think realistically, it will take us about 5 or 6 years to get to the point where we're ready to TTC. (May the Lord make that easy) Anyways, I'm here, wanting and waiting, lurking, and learning about nutrition, family clothes, housekeeping, and living a touch vicariously lol.

Caroline, partner to J, post partum doula, kitchen manager, aspiring midwife, soon to be nursing student, mama to my furbaby, someday a mama to not so furry munchkins, G-d willing
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#506 of 520 Old 12-19-2008, 11:45 AM
 
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Hi everyone Im still here too! :

Im very excited to start ttc however I still have a while to wait yet. Another 5 months to go! 5 more periods!

So excited : Its still a while away yet but time goes by fairly quickly most of the time, and I am enjoying being a mother to one so much I dont feel in too much of a rush to start ttc number 2.

On the other hand, I cant wait to start the whole ttc process, pregnancy tests, experience pregnancy again, have a newborn to look after, breastfeed, give my dd her own little sister or brother etc etc So excited! Also a tad nervous aswell. :

Probably should start figuring out how to get my body and my life best prepared for ttc, pregnancy and a baby!!!!!

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#507 of 520 Old 12-22-2008, 07:45 PM
 
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Hi, can I join you all? I have 2 dds, aged 2 and 4. H and I have recently been talking about adding our final addition, but we're probably going to wait until Feb or March to TTC.
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#508 of 520 Old 12-30-2008, 10:50 PM
 
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I took a break from this thread for a while but I decided to stop by today and say hi, how is everyone doing?
I am kind of sad because my name is still on the ttc in 2009 list even though our potential ttc date has moved from possibly 2009 to possibly never, for sure not now.
The primary issue here is my weight. I have to lose weight before we ttc. The problem is the very fact that my husband and I both feel like I am too overweight to plan for a baby is depressing being depressed is not good for my prospects of losing weight.
Well here is to hoping 2009 is a better year for me.
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#509 of 520 Old 12-31-2008, 02:21 PM
 
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Glad to have found this thread! We were going to start TTC #2 back in August of this year, but things happened - lay offs, etc., and then more things happened with me - two periods in the month of November, etc., So, we're looking at late Spring or early Summer of 2009 to TTC #2.
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#510 of 520 Old 12-31-2008, 02:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by samy23 View Post
Hi everyone Im still here too! :

Im very excited to start ttc however I still have a while to wait yet. Another 5 months to go! 5 more periods!

So excited : Its still a while away yet but time goes by fairly quickly most of the time, and I am enjoying being a mother to one so much I dont feel in too much of a rush to start ttc number 2.

On the other hand, I cant wait to start the whole ttc process, pregnancy tests, experience pregnancy again, have a newborn to look after, breastfeed, give my dd her own little sister or brother etc etc So excited! Also a tad nervous aswell. :

Probably should start figuring out how to get my body and my life best prepared for ttc, pregnancy and a baby!!!!!

I'm right there with you!! I love being a mama to DS, but I also can't wait for him to experience a new sibling - something I never got to experience myself. I loved being pregnant, I loved nursing, babywearing, etc., We just need for things to be stable for a few months, look for a bigger home in a better school district, etc.,
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