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#61 of 520 Old 05-21-2008, 03:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wonder if I can share my ticker....lol

http://mb.lilypie.com/PLyp0.png

Hehe

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#62 of 520 Old 05-21-2008, 04:14 PM
 
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That made me laugh. You should put it in your sig!

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#63 of 520 Old 05-22-2008, 02:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lol - I dont think you can on this website! I have it in my sig on other forums though hehe...I bet they all think im mad!

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#64 of 520 Old 05-23-2008, 07:40 PM
 
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I am definitely wanting but have to wait. We want to travel and think about buying a house before we ttc so probably at least 2 years, but it's so hard when all my friends are having babies.
I think we stick to the waiting because we know it will be better in the long run. I wouldn't mind to much if it happened now, just have to change a few plans, but I'd prefer to do it at a time when I can enjoy all the different stages of pregnancy knowing that it was planned and that I've had a chance to do all the right things - vitamins, healthy eating etc.
It's so nice to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this. I've started stocking up on baby things too, which my dh doesn't quite understand but that's ok.
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#65 of 520 Old 05-24-2008, 12:50 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Betnybaby View Post
I am definitely wanting but have to wait. We want to travel and think about buying a house before we ttc so probably at least 2 years, but it's so hard when all my friends are having babies.
I think we stick to the waiting because we know it will be better in the long run. I wouldn't mind to much if it happened now, just have to change a few plans, but I'd prefer to do it at a time when I can enjoy all the different stages of pregnancy knowing that it was planned and that I've had a chance to do all the right things - vitamins, healthy eating etc.
It's so nice to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this.
I know a lot of people say it's never the "perfect" time, but I don't regret waiting until we had our ducks in a row. We would have managed if I'd gotten pregnant sooner, but waiting gave us many more freedoms both before and after she was born. I was 32 when DD was born, so I often feel old compared to other mamas with 2-year olds, but it was absolutely the best choice for us. It is hard sometimes when you are craving that baby, but I know that we definitely appreciate the memories, choices, and security that waiting afforded us.

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#66 of 520 Old 05-24-2008, 09:41 PM
 
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THANK YOU for saying that! I find it really insulting when i tell people we are waiting to get our ducks in a row (or at least to TRY to get them in a row, sheesh!) and someone says "There's never a perfect time" or " You'll never be ready/have enough money/etc to have a baby". All that may be true, but to me, it aint very nice to just poop on our dreams like that. There are very concrete reasons for our decision to wait that are built on our value system, short term goals, and faith. If God has other plans than we have, thas fine too and Im sure all will be provided.

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Originally Posted by *Amy* View Post
I know a lot of people say it's never the "perfect" time, but I don't regret waiting until we had our ducks in a row. We would have managed if I'd gotten pregnant sooner, but waiting gave us many more freedoms both before and after she was born. I was 32 when DD was born, so I often feel old compared to other mamas with 2-year olds, but it was absolutely the best choice for us. It is hard sometimes when you are craving that baby, but I know that we definitely appreciate the memories, choices, and security that waiting afforded us.
Sigh, another vent ahead. Hubby and I have been in a financial tailspin as of late, but we are working to get out of it within the next couple of months. However, today we were discussing our financial woes and hubby mentioned that whenever someone comes out the side of their mouths with the whole "Don't wait too long to have kids" thing (we've been together for 5 years now, married for 4 years this Aug.) he tells them "We would LOVE to have kids but we just can't justify that sh** right now!" It made me tear up a little bit to hear him say that because 1) I've never heard him say that he'd love to have kids right now and 2) That our financial/situational means right now is the biggest reason keeping us from starting a family.

We don't typically delve into all of that with people because we always get met with the whole "Well, you'll never be ready/have enough money/etc to have kids" thing that we HATE because it feels so dismissive to us. As if all this hard work we are doing and going through whatever is just because we wanna FLOSS to have kids??! NO, its because we friggin cant afford ourselves right now, let alone children and we wouldnt WILLINGLY put ourselves into a situation like that. Not saying those that do are bad or wrong but FOR US it isnt right.

So at night i fuss myself into frustration dreaming of the life I want to have (that we are working so hard toward). I KNOW that being a mother is hard. I KNOW that parenthood is uncertain. I watch my best friend do it as a single mama to three kids EVERY DAY. But i STILL want that (well, not the single part, i very much want to do it with hubby by my side every step of the way and then some, lol). I know pity parties aren't good and don't help anything, but LORD, I love my life as it is now and I am know that I am blessed beyond measure, but when will it be our turn?

I know that i have no idea of what im asking for. From the pregnancy worries and pains, to the laboring and birthing worries and pains, to the worrying, illnesses and insane parenting adventures once the child arrives, I KNOW i have no idea of what im asking for....or even what im dreaming for.

All I know is that I want that and that this wait (and we aint even started to TTC!) until I get it is very difficult.

Sigh. So until then, i guess i will continue to work hard at achieving what I need to feel secure for a family, continue to be grateful for the blessings that i already have (its SO hard NOT to feel like Im lacking something in a major way tho), lurk on others' paths to and through motherhood and continue to dream during the day and at night on my someday.

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#67 of 520 Old 05-25-2008, 02:47 AM
 
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I know that i have no idea of what im asking for. From the pregnancy worries and pains, to the laboring and birthing worries and pains, to the worrying, illnesses and insane parenting adventures once the child arrives, I KNOW i have no idea of what im asking for....or even what im dreaming for.

All I know is that I want that and that this wait (and we aint even started to TTC!) until I get it is very difficult.

Sigh. So until then, i guess i will continue to work hard at achieving what I need to feel secure for a family, continue to be grateful for the blessings that i already have (its SO hard NOT to feel like Im lacking something in a major way tho), lurk on others' paths to and through motherhood and continue to dream during the day and at night on my someday.
Aww, girl. It is hard. A lot of people don't realize what it feels like to crave a baby. It honestly is like a physical hunger! Can I ask how old you are? You may have already said, but I don't remember. (Not that your age matters, I'm just curious.)

My opinion about people saying, "There's never a perfect time," is that it's a justification for the choices *they* have made. It's a reflection of their life more than yours. I know it's hard not to feel judged or patronized, but in your heart you are the only one who can make the best choice for your family.

I will say this: Having a child is HARD. It's hard on you physically and emotionally, it's hard on the marriage, and it is hard financially. Well maybe I shouldn't say hard - it is *challenging.* The more resources you have, the easier it becomes. If you are totally financially strapped, that will trickle down so much more if you have a child, and you will constantly be feeling like you don't have options; it's easier to make sacrifices when they only affect you, but making sacrifices that concern your child can be really painful. That leads to stress, guilt, and anxiety...which all leads to you being able to be less than a present parent. Does that make sense? It's true that you can't eliminate stress or challenges, but you can minimize them by making smart choices before you decide to become parents. When you have options and resources (being able to be a SAHM if that's what you choose, having money to pay for a babysitter, having good health care, etc.) you really have the energy to focus on the other stressors such as not getting any sleep and not being able to take a shower!

I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but there's a reason *I'm* on this thread too...we're waiting because of our goals and dreams as well. It doesn't make you selfish or foolish; it makes you a good parent already.

I came back to say that I just re-read your post, and it seems like you are a woman of faith, so I will say one more thing - instead of fussing every night and focusing on what you are missing, try communing with the spirit of your child now. Talk to him/her, envision everything from your pregnancy and birth to having a newborn, toddler, big kid, teenager, etc. Talk to your child about your life together. If you really feel a connection, it might feel like "something" right now, when you are feeling that something is missing. (I hope that doesn't sound too out there! It worked for me after I had a miscarriage, and it definitely helped to ease that feeling of emptiness.)

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#68 of 520 Old 05-25-2008, 07:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so glad I started this thread! - We all need that understanding support and I am glad that this is what this thread is providing!

And I completly agree with this:
Quote:
My opinion about people saying, "There's never a perfect time," is that it's a justification for the choices *they* have made. It's a reflection of their life more than yours. I know it's hard not to feel judged or patronized, but in your heart you are the only one who can make the best choice for your family.
and this:
Quote:
I know a lot of people say it's never the "perfect" time, but I don't regret waiting until we had our ducks in a row. We would have managed if I'd gotten pregnant sooner, but waiting gave us many more freedoms both before and after she was born.
You know - its only a few months until we start TTC (December)...But all our ducks arnt even together yet! lol - I know a lot of people do not understand what the difference will make but it will make a huge difference we we look at the financial side of things. So I know I need to wait, but it is so hard! Everytime my DH and I get to some love making - I chim in saying 'So you wanna make a baby?' lol... Of course, we are too careful for that but in the back of mind I do have a tiny hope for an 'accident' because then at least it was out of my control. But we are waiting and I am glad and I know I will not regret it!

Quote:
It is hard. A lot of people don't realize what it feels like to crave a baby
Thats the hardest part for me - that is why I started this thread. Its especially hard because I know my DH will never understand how I feel (I just dont think men can experience broodyness in the same way - especially as its not their bodies built for the creating, growing, and carrying of a baby!) and thats harder than anyone else not understanding that.

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#69 of 520 Old 05-25-2008, 11:05 AM
 
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Aww, girl. It is hard. A lot of people don't realize what it feels like to crave a baby. It honestly is like a physical hunger! Can I ask how old you are? You may have already said, but I don't remember. (Not that your age matters, I'm just curious.)

My opinion about people saying, "There's never a perfect time," is that it's a justification for the choices *they* have made. It's a reflection of their life more than yours. I know it's hard not to feel judged or patronized, but in your heart you are the only one who can make the best choice for your family.

I will say this: Having a child is HARD. It's hard on you physically and emotionally, it's hard on the marriage, and it is hard financially. Well maybe I shouldn't say hard - it is *challenging.* The more resources you have, the easier it becomes. If you are totally financially strapped, that will trickle down so much more if you have a child, and you will constantly be feeling like you don't have options; it's easier to make sacrifices when they only affect you, but making sacrifices that concern your child can be really painful. That leads to stress, guilt, and anxiety...which all leads to you being able to be less than a present parent. Does that make sense? It's true that you can't eliminate stress or challenges, but you can minimize them by making smart choices before you decide to become parents. When you have options and resources (being able to be a SAHM if that's what you choose, having money to pay for a babysitter, having good health care, etc.) you really have the energy to focus on the other stressors such as not getting any sleep and not being able to take a shower!

I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but there's a reason *I'm* on this thread too...we're waiting because of our goals and dreams as well. It doesn't make you selfish or foolish; it makes you a good parent already.

I came back to say that I just re-read your post, and it seems like you are a woman of faith, so I will say one more thing - instead of fussing every night and focusing on what you are missing, try communing with the spirit of your child now. Talk to him/her, envision everything from your pregnancy and birth to having a newborn, toddler, big kid, teenager, etc. Talk to your child about your life together. If you really feel a connection, it might feel like "something" right now, when you are feeling that something is missing. (I hope that doesn't sound too out there! It worked for me after I had a miscarriage, and it definitely helped to ease that feeling of emptiness.)
Awww, thank you Amy, you and the input you've given has been very soothing to me in this thread and I just wanna say thank you for that!

I am 28 years old and hubby is 31. It seems like we shoulda had our stuff together years ago, but its just now coming together (we knew 2008 would be a transition year for us, buts its so hard to go through, you know?).

I believe you have hit the nail on the head, because for us its ALLL about options. Having a baby now wouldn't totally break us, but it would severly limit our options in life for a long while, but if we wait until those ducks line up like we are working toward, then our options are MUCH more plentiful and fabulous even and we could be truly present in our journey to parenthood and i think THAS what a lot of people dont seem to understand. I do also agree that they are coming from their own experience and there is nothing wrong with that, its just not the experience hubby and i are working towards.

I am definitely a woman of faith and i do feel like i communicate with my babies already. I picture them waiting for us in Heaven in a sort of to-be-born pre-Heaven, lol. I also dream a LOT about having babies, pregnancy and parenthood at night. I know that when you look in a dream interpretation book, it tells you dreaming of pregnancy and birth just means you are trying to start something new in your life (which i am), but i also seem to think that i am somehow communicating with them in my dreams as well. One dream, i was giving this beautiful baby a bath and in another im pregnant and brandishing a big belly around the house and watching it move as the baby kicks. Just crazily VIVID dreams. But yea, I will definitely try to communicate with them more (i dont think its way out there) and see if that eases my mind.

Quote:
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Thats the hardest part for me - that is why I started this thread. Its especially hard because I know my DH will never understand how I feel (I just dont think men can experience broodyness in the same way - especially as its not their bodies built for the creating, growing, and carrying of a baby!) and thats harder than anyone else not understanding that.
I totally agree and thank you for starting this thread too!

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#70 of 520 Old 05-25-2008, 03:29 PM
 
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I understand what the last several posts have been about, I also can't stand the "no perfect time to get pg" line. When we decided to TTC #1, it was a very thought out process of where where we were in life. I had just graduated college, DH was very well established in his career, and had supported me for the last two years so I didn't have to work and go though college at the same time. We were used to living off of one income already, were building a house, it WAS the right timing for us. We didn't have to wait too long before the time was right, just several more months until I was done with school, but those months made all the difference in the world as to how everything would play out.


Child #2, was a lesson in patience, TTC took much longer then expected when the timing was right for us. And now I'm on the waiting for #3, I admit to being where Ann is now, I sometimes wish an "accident" would occur so that I don't have to be careful and continue to wait. I only have that way of thinking because while it's not my plan to get pg until next winter at the earliest, it also wouldn't be devastating either.

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#71 of 520 Old 05-25-2008, 04:35 PM
 
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Yeah, I am considering waiting 1 more year...TTC in 2010...and becoming more at peace with that possibility.

We just got finished with $10,000 of dental work for me, and I am pretty sure when DH finally has his check up he is going to need that much as well. I love DH with my life, and need to put his health before my desire to have a baby right away. So rather than rack up $10,000 more debt to our already $24,000, we should continue to work hard and pay it off so we can welcome DC with open arms instead of fear.

Thankfully, I just got a raise and promotion and my bosses just LOVE me, so I really like my job right now and can so stomach the possibility of waiting longer at this point. Before the desire to be a SAHM just consumed me.

So I will be 29 when we TTC in that case. I will officially be the oldest of any family member in on both sides in all our history to get pregnant for the first time, and not many in our immediate circle will understand us...but oh well.
I will count my blessings in the meantime...having a wonderful, loving DH, a good job with the opportunity to pay off debt, and know that I will have dc one day.....

Happily married to DH for 6 years, in process to foster-adopt 3 children DD4, DS3 and DS2. We may be bringing half brother age 9 one day as well! We are not infertile, we just have decided that since there are precious children who need homes there is no need for us to have biological children.

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#72 of 520 Old 05-25-2008, 05:27 PM
 
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i spent chunks of last weekend at playgrounds with a newly engaged friend, talking about the fact that she probably will not have children, how tiring it is for her when people assume mariage=babies. meanwhile, i was aching, watching my LO help those smaller than herself, wanting to have another.

yet, later that day having a glass of wine and feeling abundantly glad i did not have an infant to breastfeed, or a crawler to chase around my friend's apartment! this confusion tells me i am not quite ready.

yesterday someone asked us when we will have another, and dh said "we are still in the negotiating stage"...well, in theory, but we never have time to do the negotiating! it made me realize we need to revisit our timeline, make sure we really are still on the same page.

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#73 of 520 Old 05-28-2008, 03:22 PM
 
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Can I join in on this thread!!!!??? I have 3 beautiful children, but so badly want another. My DH isn't totally on board w/ having another right now, so I'm waiting until he comes around. We just had a talk last week about having #4--up to that point he said NO NO NO, but last week, he said he would consider having another! Yea! And, the very next day, PPAF came! (I haven't had a period in almost 4 years, thanks to pregnancy and nursing). I told him that was sign---someone is telling us that another baby is in our future!! I would like to get through the summer though--my youngest is 15 months--would like to wait until she's closer to 18 months-2years--but I would be thrilled w/ an "oops" baby if it happens before then!
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#74 of 520 Old 05-28-2008, 04:03 PM
 
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well i had been worrying (hopeing!) that we were pg. but got BFN last night and this morn so its a no go. still waiting...not so patiently here.
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#75 of 520 Old 05-28-2008, 04:46 PM
 
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I've started stocking up on baby things too, which my dh doesn't quite understand but that's ok.
omg, i so want to start doing that! i think this summer when i have a bit of extra money i'll start collecting i have quite a long wait though (22 now don't want to have a baby before 26) so i'll have to pace myself or i'll end up with a tonne of stuff.
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#76 of 520 Old 05-28-2008, 10:52 PM
 
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Hi ladies! I just wanted to join. For a while we were contemplating being parents to an only child and while I would be ok with that it isn't what I really want.
We have decided we are going to try for a second, I don't know when for sure because the timing issue is complicated and I need to lose 100-110lbs first.
I know it can be considered healthy to lose up to 16lbs a month and that would put me at 6 months before TTC, but if we TTC in 6 months that would give us an end of the year baby and I want to try for a summer baby because my husband and I are both students. So I guess that would put us at trying in summer 2009. I don't wanna wait that long though! It is so hard. Ugh.

I also want to try for a HBAC and for one thing I am not even sure that there are providers that will do that where I live right now (and where I will probably be living for the next 6 years), and I want to be as healthy as possible to make my dream of a HBAC a reality.
So what are you other ladies who are trying to get healthy for a HBAC doing to reach your goals? I keep telling myself I am going to start a work out plan and diet but I am having a hard time with it.

I also have this weird duel urge to get rid of the baby stuff from my daughter and to stock up on new baby stuff. I have to suppress the urge to buy cute little neutral outfits that I see on sale everywhere. Wanting to buy baby stuff when I can't even TTC for a year, so crazy! It doesn't help that I live in a small town and I swear everyone is about 8 months pregnant!
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#77 of 520 Old 05-30-2008, 05:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just wanted to share that my impatience may get the better of me...We may consider TTC in August instead of December...But I am not sure how much 4 months will make a difference with my DS as that is really the only deciding factor because I am ready, my body is ready, and our finances realy wont make much a difference going ahead 4 months earlier than planned except I will have to hold off painting our bedroom for a bit - but only for the obvious reasons and not because we couldnt afford a pot of paint lol

Its a tought one...because I am soooo broody as all of you will understand!...But I also dont want to feel like I am robbing my son of 4 more months of 'us' time iykwim. 1 out of the last 5 nights this past week, I have felt 'yeah- we can wait until December'....but the rest of the time I felt, yeah...august would be just fine.

And I cant help but feel giddy with the fact that we may be TTC in 2 months time instead of 6 months time!....

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#78 of 520 Old 05-30-2008, 06:17 PM
 
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i say go for it. 4 months is here nor there. the longest it took me to concieve was 6 months

i still have over 12 months before we decied if we are going to TTC or not and it sucks so bad. but i look at my babe sleeping and think, no she needs mama now and i need to get my body ready etc .

Kiz
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#79 of 520 Old 06-02-2008, 12:53 PM
 
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We're waiting to TTC until when we will get insurance through the union - in about six months. It's so hard, because ideally I would love to have my kids spaced closer together (DD is 15 months) and I want an unassisted birth anyway, but DP wants to wait.
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#80 of 520 Old 06-02-2008, 02:16 PM
 
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those of you waiting on ttc your first child, know that as hard as it is to wait, the energy you give to yourself and to your partnership now will surely bear fruit for you later.
my LO is 4yo, and during the first 2 years of her life my marriage was a mess, not because of the transition but because she was a surprise baby and my dp had so much personal stuff he was dealing with. well, he stepped up for the first 4 months or so to help, but then his depression took over again.

also we had just moved and i had no local support system.

so for what it's worth, anything you can do now to nourish yourself and your family as it is now, i feel certain can only be good for the future babies.

i am waiting to ttc#2 and i feel ready but know that my dp, our finances, our physical space (rooms still not painted since dd was born!), these are not ready. plus i want a homebirth and our very pathetic hmo won't help so we need to save. but at 34 (not so old but..) i feel the tick-tock of my body's clock.

can i say how much i enjoy the diversity here? from younger mamas to mamas of many, all of us with the hunger.

mama to one amazing daughter born 1/2004
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#81 of 520 Old 06-02-2008, 02:47 PM
 
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Great post, Kanga. Anyone want to discuss what you're doing to prepare--your body, your finances, your family, or something else--while you wait to TTC?

Here's what I'm doing:

1. Healthwise, I'm trying to do everything at once. I don't need to lose weight, but I do need to get in shape. I'm also eating better in general, eating more organic food specifically, and taking prenatal vitamins and maca powder to help regulate my cycles.

2. Saving money. DH and I disagree about this one because he thinks we should use these months as a time to do the things we won't be able to do when a baby is here, such as attending baseball games and going out for drinks with friends. We're trying to find a happy medium between saving every penny and still being able to enjoy our carefree childless days, which I hope will be over soon!

3. I used to want to move into a house before TTC, but now I think I want to prepare the apartment I live in now for a baby. I'm slowly purchasing green stuff like a new shower curtain and nontoxic cleaning supplies. One of my summer goals is to donate some of our old things to make room for a new baby.

4. This one is more difficult to describe, but I want to cut the toxic people and situations out of my life. I'm not talking about close family or anything here, but I mean distancing myself from gossipy coworkers, etc.
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#82 of 520 Old 06-02-2008, 03:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I do not need to lose weight, but I wouldnt mind losing another 14lbs roughly - However like you, I do need to get in better shape so I happen to be losing weight slowly (which I hear is the best way) whilst I do that....of course, so I can go and gain it all again lol

We do not really have expendable money at the end of the month to put aside - we do have some but we usually plan to spend it on something a little bit at a time iykwim - Something I have to do before the end of the year is going to cost nearly £700 - So I am saving what I can up for that as that really must be done before the end of the year - and before a baby so it will get done hopefully by Sept! .... Other than that, the rest is organising our monthly outgoings. So I have next years months lined up with what will be bought when. I have two jobs - both of which I can take my son (and future children) with me to, so I am very lucky in that respect....we wouldnt be able to TTC if I couldnt - and I wouldnt have the jobs if I couldnt! lol As with most Christmases - I ask for things we need so that will help out financially. We still have all of my sons things as well which should help - and even more if we have another boy. However, if we have a girl, our neighbour has all her girls stuff saved from her daughter who is the same age as my son - and she said if I have a girl I can have all of it...which will help as well! hehe The only big thing we are going to buy next year is a king size bed so we can all fit! lol

Like you - I wanted to move house until we had a baby but then found out my DHs loan is not finished until 2011 - We couldnt move before then and I certainly couldnt wait until then to TTC #2! lol...So I am just preparing our current house for another baby (which is a 2 bed house so its not so bad actually - its just its really tiny as well so like you...stuff is going! lol)

As for my body and mind... Well, I will be trying for an HBAC! - So currently im on a pregnancy multivitamin and mineral - EPO - Nettle Tea - and I will be getting my RRL capsules soon (all good to strengthen my uterus!) - Hanging out on the HB and VBAC boards to hear loads of positive stories and watching so many HB videos I could burst with tears they are all so beautiful and give me such positive hope for the birth both my future baby and I deserve!

I cant wait! hehe....

Its hard...patience is probably the hardest thing I am having to work on through all of this....

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#83 of 520 Old 06-03-2008, 04:22 AM
 
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I read the child spacing thread and have been reading a lot in general and I have found a lot of peace with waiting another year minimum to ttc. I really feel like my girl needs to be an only child for a while longer and I want to keep her needs in mind too.

By way of preparation I am trying to read lots of HBAC /VBAC stuff to prepare myself. I just read about red rasberry leaf tea and I am thinking about starting drinking it. Does anyone know a good place to get it? How much/often should I drink it? What are the RRL capsules ann_of_loxley? What benefit does nettle have? Where do you get that?

I have been focusing on trying to overcome emotional issues caused by my c-section related to pregnancy and birth, and just change my negative view of childbirth and pregnancy in general.

I have also been trying to get into a house cleaning routine and homework routine that doesn't involve doing everything at the last possible minute or staying up all night to accomplish it.

I also want to move before we ttc because I don't want to be having to run a toddler up and down the stairs to the potty with a newborn in the house. So I am focusing on trying to organize and minimize. I also figure with one around I get no time to read books I want to read (like parenting books and stuff) so I should try and get some of that reading done before I add another.

I guess over all I am just trying to work on nurturing me a little before I start trying to nurture a new baby.

kanga- the drive of the biological clock amazes me. It gets really bad for me mid cycle, I start craving a baby so badly. I have to chant over and over "This is my hormones getting the best of me, I will not let my biological urges rule my life unchecked"

Doglady good for you for trying to cut toxic people out of your life. I used to have some really toxic coworkers while I was pregnant and it was really easy to get drawn into that crap in my over emotional state. I can't imagine it was good for my stress level.
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#84 of 520 Old 06-03-2008, 06:40 AM
 
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It's nice to hear what everyone's doing. I started yoga and joined the local gym, because I have a bad back and wanted it to be stronger. I've also changed the way I eat so hopefully my body will be healthier as I move towards TTC.

We rent our house but we're moving into a bigger one in September. It's a 2BR that our friend will be sharing with us for a while - it's one we could afford on our own, but will be nice to share and we can save that money up till we need the extra bedroom.

I'm also trying to sort out my OCD/anxiety. That's the last thing I need to be dealing with while I'm pregnant. I'm trying to save money and make sure my student loans are paid on time (I have mountains and mountains of student loan debt). Oh, and I'm starting to look around for a donor (got any friends? )

The hardest thing for me right now is convincing DP that we're ready to have a baby. He really doesn't think it's the right time - I think it's because he's afraid. He frequently says that it won't be fun to have a child, that he won't be able to do his own thing, that I won't have any time for him, we don't have enough money, etc. It's really hard for me because I have this dire, burning need to have a child, but I don't want to force him if he's not ready. We've talked about having children for years and it's just recently (the last year or so) that he's started to say he doesn't think he wants to have children.

Bicycle-ridin', craftin', bloggin' feminist future mama to my starbabies dum spiro spero
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#85 of 520 Old 06-03-2008, 07:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Does anyone know a good place to get it? How much/often should I drink it? What are the RRL capsules ann_of_loxley? What benefit does nettle have? Where do you get that?
I just get mine from a health shop - every one I have been in has had both the tea and the capsules - the capsules are just like the tea but in pill form so usually higher in dosage and easier to take (as you dont have to then make a cup of tea lol). I do not know how much to take exactly (which is why I am going pill form) but I would just be taking lots and lots as much as I can! hehe Nettle tea is good for the uterus too like RRL - also full of iron for you! Its growing widly here now so I can get it for free hehe - I do not know if they make it in capsule form though. The tea itself is sold pretty much everywhere here - bit if you are in America/Canada, etc...you might have to go to a health shop to get that as well? I suggest the EPO for your uterous as well like the nettle and RRL! - Im on extra strength hehe

Mummy me : > Thats Ann! and my beautiful SONS Duncanand Hamish 19/09/05 & 22/04/10!
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#86 of 520 Old 06-03-2008, 10:55 AM
 
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Great post, Kanga. Anyone want to discuss what you're doing to prepare--your body, your finances, your family, or something else--while you wait to TTC?
I can really relate to your whole post (though I only quoted a snippet)! I'd better join this thread.

I'm 31, DH is about to turn 30. We've been married almost 7 years (but together 14 years. Yikes!) We're wanting and waiting to really want! By which I mean, we both think we "probably-almost-for-sure" want kids and both like being around kids, but neither one of us feels really convicted and ready to take the plunge. We've talked about how we each wish the other were sure. If one of us gets the feeling we should go for it, that's probably all it will take. I imagine this will take us another year or two to reach this consensus. Right now, we're both too scared about how things will change, honestly.

In the meantime, I'm definitely trying to be ready for the possibility.

1. I declared 2009 my "year of health," which means I'm updating all my medical records and getting dental work done that I've been putting off. I'm visiting ALL my doctors for checkups this year. I also am building better health habits -- working out (I joined a nearby gym), taking a vitamin and calcium, eating better, I joined a weekly tai chi class and am trying to build that into a daily practice, doing more stretching, etc. I'm drinking some RRL tea, too. I'd like to do some more yoga. I also learned some meditation techniques (which I don't do nearly enough yet). It would be okay by me if I lost 10-15 pounds.

2. Socially, I'm trying to focus on important relationships, fulfill myself with my activities, watch less tv, be a more actively thoughtful partner to my husband, keep lines of communication open, spend time with family, etc.

3. I've done some research on buying/renting another place. We could have a baby in our tiny 1BR apartment, but we'd need to move before he/she needed anything like a twin bed! I'd like to do some more organizing/minimizing in this place, for now.

4. Financially, I'm working on saving more and getting my Roth IRA started, for sure. That's a good idea whether or not we decide to have a baby.

5. I'm spending a lot of time doing research (much of it on MDC) on pregnancy and parenting. And I'm saving notes for myself for the future. I'm watching one of my closest friends go through her first pregnancy right now (due next month!), so that's like research for me, too!

First child born March 2011.  Constantly in awe!
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#87 of 520 Old 06-03-2008, 07:42 PM
 
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for anyone else wanting to know about RRL tea, you can buy it in most regular grocery stores in canada as well (assuming the same in the US). traditional medicinals (very famous, huge herbal/organic tea company) makes one that i've seen in lots of regular stores as well as in pharmacies and health food stores.

i second EPO (also very good for cramps of any kind).
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#88 of 520 Old 06-03-2008, 09:52 PM
 
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Great post, Kanga. Anyone want to discuss what you're doing to prepare--your body, your finances, your family, or something else--while you wait to TTC?
body:

I need to revamp my diet. I eat way too much meat and not enough water, fruit and veggies. I need to infuse ALOT more good fats (nuts, fish, etc) into what I eat. Looking to eat more organic as well. OH! and also needing to start taking my prenatals (mental note, buy a pill cutter lol).

While Im on it, has anyone tried the "Fertility Diet"? They say its a good lifestyle of eating to be on, but of course, more specifically to prepare for pregnancy.

Also gotta get the body right. I need to start weight training again (3 times a week), bikram yoga (twice a week), and capoeira (when i feel like it, lol).

your finances: UGH. Our finances are a mess right now, but slowly but surely getting better. Hubby just got a new job yesterday (YAY!) that will afford us to downgrade to a one bedroom apt closer to both of our jobs so that will save us a good $400 to $500 a month on transportation, rent, and utility bill costs alone (crazy right?!). Once that move is completed, we are hitting the credit cards hard (shouldnt be too hard to do, they are under $2500 combined, we'll just take that $400 to $500 we are saving and apply to the cards each month).
Also, hubby is doing his side freelance stuff and Im in the beginning stages of my business (about to put the marketing campaign in effect and tryna keep those costs to a minimum with maximum return), so hopefully that will help us pay off those cards, back taxes we owe (yes, Uncle Sam is in our pockets, ugh), pay off the car and start a decent savings. After that, its diversify, continue to stack dough for savings, potential babies, and a house.

your family: Eh, not too much to say here. I'd like to get in contact with some of my extended family. We live hundreds and thousands of miles away from our immediate families. I am estranged, for the most part, from my mother and her side of the family. Im still cool with my father and he is really looking for me to finish my degree before kids (which i forgot to mention up there in finances, i have a balance to pay off before they will let me register for classes, blah), but other than that, he is ready for some grandbabies and so is my MIL even moreso.

personally: Well, emotionally, i would like to work through my issues regarding my estranged family so that I don't carry that mess into conceiving, pregnancy and parenthood (dont want to repeat the mistakes my mother made). Spiritually, i would like to strengthen my walk with God (just found a church home to help with that ). Marriage wise, I want to continue to hammer out the TTC date negotiations with hubby as well as certain aspects of parenthood we may clash on (circ and spanking mostly). Also, of course, want to strengthen our marriage more, basically smooth out our communication kinks.

I'd also like to start my reading (up until now, i havent read any books, too superstitious about it, lol) on TTC, pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting.

NMY actively making my dreams happen :
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#89 of 520 Old 06-04-2008, 02:27 PM
 
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Great topic.

My body... I need to eat better, I was the queen of great food/eating until DD2 came along, I made my own yogurt, cooked all the time. Not so much now. She was on O2 for 6 months, I couldn't cook while holding her, and you are always holding a sick child, we moved, then as her health improved, I got busy. We are on the go frequently, dinner is often a frozen pizza or something we throw together. I exercise infrequently, I have an elliptical machine but have been averaging one day a week on it, maybe another day of pilates. DH's work hours are all over the place, he has to be here to watch DC for me to workout, and I can never count on him. Often when he does get home, it's too late and DC are too tired, I'm tired, DD2 is 19m and still only sleeps on top of me so I can't do it while she is napping or when she goes to bed.


Finances are ok. I need to set up a HSA, so many of our expenses from DD2's health issues, insurance hasn't covered. DH has been starting another company and he really needs to get the ball rolling so that it is up and running and not requiring so much of his time before another child comes along.

Family is fine, although I do want to take some time for ME before another baby. I can count on one hand the number of times I have done something fun for me in the last 5+ years. DD2 is starting to be able to go off with dad for short times, and I need to take advantage of it.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#90 of 520 Old 06-04-2008, 02:36 PM
 
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DH and I are struggling with whether we want to try for another baby asap or wait a few years! We already have 2 boys (3 and 1) and are kinda stuck in a rutt... we both defintelty want antother child but have different ideas of when. I feel like I want to have another quickly and then we can be done with it and can start to get rid of all the baby stuff (instead of the GIANT stash we have in the garage!) and watch our little ones grow. Another point is that DH is getting snipped after the next baby because we are sure that we don't want more than three, and I would rather just do it now and get it done with. Make no mistake, I love being prego and having babies but I feel like once we are done I can focus more on our family and not keep wondering about the future or have to plan around possible pregnancy/babies. But I am also kinda worried that my 'baby brain' is just in overdrive with hormones and what not and that I so desperatly want another one right now because my youngest is almost 1 and I miss the little baby thing. I have to wonder if I will have such the same baby desires after the next one even though we have discussed and both agree that 3 children is the right number for us.
On the other hand... DH thinks that 3 children under 5 is too much to handle and that we would just be continuesly stressed out and not be able to do anything (like vacations) for several years to come. He is also much more worried about the financial side as well- though we do make enough money to support ourselves and are not needing we definetely don't have much to save at the end of the month and live pretty much pay check to pay check. However I am not sure that if we do wait to have another baby that this will change, as neither of us are really planning on having a carreer change.
SO- after that mega post I am wondering what others oppinions are. Do I keep wanting but waiting or go for the #3?!

Mama to my three little loveys and living the good life in the beautiful Pacific North West 
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