What age would be too old to have a baby? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-10-2008, 09:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you know anyone who is older than 40 and had kids? I'm wanting 1 or 2 more kids and am 37 years old. My kids also nurse until after 2 so if I decide to have #4, I may be over 40 by then.
I wonder if being preggo after 40 will be too hard on the body...
I'm underweight and petite and also had a wonderful, healthy pregnancies so far. What is your experience?

I'm just getting pressured to TTC soon but my 2 year old nursing and my DH not being ready is giving me a little stress, I guess.

 ~ Have a Blessed Day!
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Old 06-10-2008, 09:37 PM
 
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too old? when you hit menopause.

im 40 and due in oct...i feel great!!
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Old 06-10-2008, 09:44 PM
 
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My friends mom had her last baby at 45. she wasn't in the best shape, so it was a difficult pregnancy. IMO if you are healthy then having a baby in your 40's should be ok.
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Old 06-10-2008, 10:00 PM
 
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I am 37 and we think we are going to be planning one more. That would put me at 39-40 ish. As long as you are healthy & take care of yourself, you should be okay.

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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Old 06-11-2008, 04:28 PM
 
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My mom had her last baby at 43 (12 yrs ago). Her OB/GYN said she was healthy enough to have babies until she was 50+. My Mom wasn't in the best shape physically, but had a healthy pregnancy. She did say it was a lot harder losing the baby weight even compared to having a baby at 37.

My aunt had her last baby at 43 as well (2 years ago). Her 6th baby had a birth injury so she switched to an OB/GYN who watched her closely and had a hospital birth.

me, 28 & dh, 32.
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Old 06-11-2008, 04:50 PM
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I am just 24 and just married 4 months ago...so right now i am not in a state of mind to have baby. But I will plan when ever me and my husband both are ready to take this reaponsibility.
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Old 06-11-2008, 06:14 PM
 
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I am 39 and not planning another. We have two and are pretty sure we're done. That decision, however, did not have anything to do with my age. If we wanted a third, I would have no hesitation having another one in my early 40's. I have a friend who is 42 and pg with her second and lots of friends who had babies in thier forties.

Diane, SAHM to DD (June 05) and DS (April 07).
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Old 06-11-2008, 06:17 PM
 
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I had my 7th at 46.
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Old 06-11-2008, 06:35 PM
 
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I'll be 37 this summer and we're on the fence about having a second. If I actually get pregnant this year, I keep going over and over in my mind, how when my dc will be 4, I'll be 41, when dc is 10 I'll be (yikes ~ 47). I'm in great physical shape, best I"ve been in years but I can't get passed the age thing. the longer we wait, the less chance we have. I feel like I'm under pressure due to the age thing.

On a side note: a co-worker was pregnant last year. She was 39. Had the baby when she was 40. A lot of the (women) mostly in the office where Shocked that she would do it all again what with one foot in the grave and all

Aren't more and more women having babies in their late and early 40's these days???
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Old 06-11-2008, 06:37 PM
 
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She did say it was a lot harder losing the baby weight even compared to having a baby at 37.
Very true.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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Old 06-12-2008, 12:06 AM
 
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I know women in their late 40's and 50's who are pregnant or have given birth. They are in better shape than most 20 somethings. They had healthy easy pregnancies. A woman is too old to have babies when she decides she is too old. That can be 25 years of age for some women or 55 years of age for others. It truly depends on the woman.
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Old 06-12-2008, 04:08 AM
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I had my last at 41. My great-grandmother had children at 40, 42, 44, 46, and 48. All healthy and lived passed childhood.
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Old 06-12-2008, 12:48 PM
 
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A lady in our local LLL group just had her first baby at 47. All well.

I know two women, though, who rushed (in their own words) into having second children less than two years after their firsts because they felt they were "getting older." They're both 39.

I think it depends a lot on how you feel about it yourself!

Expat mama to my 7-year-old Halloween boy and my cheeky preschooler, who came before the midwife in January 2010... Gestating a new bean, debuting spring 2014!
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Old 06-13-2008, 02:01 AM
 
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I'm 39, and I don't feel too old. My dh is 48, though, and says that he is definitely too old to have another child.
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Old 06-13-2008, 01:32 PM
 
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My great-grandmother had my great aunt at 46 and my dad's mom had him at 42.. and this was many years ago! Now it's much more common for older women to be giving birth, plus there's more science to deal with potential problems.

In my mind if you can concieve you're certainly meant to be pregnant.. course I'm sure there are some things that are harder for some women when they are older (not quite so much energy, slower metabolism) but it really all depends on how you feel.

I think women who have had previous births have an easier time getting pregnant later.. it seems that people who wait to have their first until they're 40+ have a harder time.
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Old 06-13-2008, 06:21 PM
 
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i don't think there is an age that is too old in the natural cycle of things instead it's really more your frame of mind & overall health. the women i know who had babies in their 40s, all were happy, healthy, & they felt they could handle it.

--lots of love from one busy momma of 4 & loving wife of 1--
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Old 06-14-2008, 03:48 PM
 
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You're not too old! I had my first at 37 and my second at 39. I do agree that the old body doesn't bounce back as quickly as a 25 year old's though... my stretch marks have stretch marks
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Old 06-14-2008, 03:53 PM
 
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I know three different women who had babies at 42. I'm only 34, and expecting my second now. We're pretty sure we'll be done with just our two, but honestly if I was like 40 and wanted a third child, my age alone wouldn't stop me. Dh's age might, though, he'd be 52
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Old 06-14-2008, 04:05 PM
 
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OMG - 40 is YOUNG!!! I didn't even seriously think about having a baby until I was in my late 30's. I finally got serious on my 40th birthday - and it worked the first time!! However, when I did get pregnant AGAIN at 42 I had a m/c between 7-9 weeks. So now I'm 43 and will be TTC #2 next month. My plan is to have 4 children.

I think if you're healthy and want more children you should go for it.

Kate, Wife to DH and Mommy to a 5yo lovin' DS; three angels 4/08 9/08 3/10 in Heaven,
waitin' for my baby

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Old 06-15-2008, 01:50 PM
 
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As far as age and so forth, how true is it statistically that risks go up? As far as birth defects, down's syndrome, other impairments, etc. I mean? I often think about that and if it would sway me in the opposite direction, not having anymore.... I would love a third(I think!) but it may not be for awhile and I will be 37 this year, have a soon to be 1 year old, and am not having menstrual cycles, so not ready...
Does the age factor matter that much in regards to my above question, of course knowing that anything can happen at any age.

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Old 06-17-2008, 05:44 PM
 
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Risks go up but if you get pregnant, it still is more than likely that you and the baby will be fine.

The biggest risk is that you wouldn't be able to get pregnant in the first place, and (assuming you're otherwise healthy) how fast your fertility declines w/ age is pretty much genetic. So that's a matter of luck. After 45, most women can't get pregnant on their own without egg donors (not saying ALL, some can of course) but can carry a donor-egg or possibly IVF pregnancy just fine. Between 40 and 45 it's less predictable. Before 40, usually it's not an issue but it could be.
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Old 06-17-2008, 06:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by columbusmomma View Post
As far as age and so forth, how true is it statistically that risks go up? As far as birth defects, down's syndrome, other impairments, etc. I mean? I often think about that and if it would sway me in the opposite direction, not having anymore.... I would love a third(I think!) but it may not be for awhile and I will be 37 this year, have a soon to be 1 year old, and am not having menstrual cycles, so not ready...
Does the age factor matter that much in regards to my above question, of course knowing that anything can happen at any age.
its not. they havent done any good studies in over 30 years (there is one that ppl are always posting about DS...i think its full of malarky). Age alone is not a risk...other things could cause you to have a riskier pregnancy, but they are more life style, genetically oriented...and could happen in your 20s and 30's also. there is such a huge scare w/ OBs w/ any women over 35 now a days....i think its sad. i was healthiest at 38 and now at 40 and pregnant. i dont think we will want more but if we do, i wont TTC until this baby is at least 2..which means i will be 43...omg!!!! if we are able to conceive though, im not going to worry about it. All the testing they do is bunk in my opinion...ive had false positives and negatives and its all a crap shoot.....i would never rely on it...and if i cant rely on it, im not doing it.

i have a thread started over in the homebirth thread of moms over 35 having home births. thats a great thread w/ many women who are confident of their bodies, and their pregnancies.

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Originally Posted by lolar2 View Post
Risks go up but if you get pregnant, it still is more than likely that you and the baby will be fine.

The biggest risk is that you wouldn't be able to get pregnant in the first place, and (assuming you're otherwise healthy) how fast your fertility declines w/ age is pretty much genetic. So that's a matter of luck. After 45, most women can't get pregnant on their own without egg donors (not saying ALL, some can of course) but can carry a donor-egg or possibly IVF pregnancy just fine. Between 40 and 45 it's less predictable. Before 40, usually it's not an issue but it could be.
i dont think 40 is a magic number and i have really seen anything (research wise) that supports conception between 40 and 45 being less predictable.

of course it all goes out the window during premenopause..which is why my original statement "if you are menopausal"...b/c its less likely to conceive..or at least more difficult i would imagine.

ftr, i TTC for 10 months when i was 28...for about 10 days when i was 39.
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Old 06-17-2008, 06:19 PM
 
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I know several women with large families who had 1 or more babies after age 40. None of them shared with me their EXACT ages though.

My thinking is that menopause is a sign that you're too old for babies- unless you have other health concerns (which would then make you too sick for another baby, not necesasrily too old.)

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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Old 06-17-2008, 07:21 PM
 
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My mum was 42 when she had me.
And about men, seriously men can go on being parents even in their sixties my dad is turning 66 tomorrow and my baby sister(half) is 4 years old, so a 48 year old man for me is young, my DH is 43 and we're planning to have another baby and he'll be around 45 when that happens.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:01 PM
 
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Awesome that gives me great hope, I want to be like you!!!!
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Old 06-24-2008, 05:31 PM
 
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I love this thread.

I have heard from friends that seeing a genetic counselor can be a big relief to moms over 35 - depends on your situation, but if you are healthy, have had healthy pregnancies, and don't have any red flags then I think the stats for you personally can be much lower than for the general population. I don't know anything about it, but I think I'd check it out if that turned out to be a big concern for me.

I think we might be done, but am still keeping the window open. I'm 38 and my youngest is just 2 now. I broke my hip falling off my bike six weeks ago, so I want to be fully healed (and done x-raying my pelvis) before conceiving. But, I think I'm done. Can't you tell . . . ??

Teacher, Mother of 4
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Old 06-24-2008, 05:45 PM
 
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I have a personal gripe against statistics! I mean- I think in this country people like to compile data and present it as fact.
But each woman has her own story and should not be compared to statistics!
also- it totally matters how your health and lifestyle is. Some women are healthier at 40 than others are at 27 or whatever.
I am 35 and still ttc #1 but I may try to have up to 3 babies.
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Old 06-24-2008, 06:21 PM
 
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Wow - I needed this thread today. I do not feel ready to start TTC #3 just yet (maybe in 6-12 months) but I am putting so much pressure on myself because I just turned 38. Struggling so much that it is stressing me out and making me really sad too.

I am going to remember all these examples of mamas birthing into their 40's.
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Old 06-24-2008, 09:41 PM
 
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I have a personal gripe against statistics! I mean- I think in this country people like to compile data and present it as fact.
But each woman has her own story and should not be compared to statistics!
also- it totally matters how your health and lifestyle is. Some women are healthier at 40 than others are at 27 or whatever.
I am 35 and still ttc #1 but I may try to have up to 3 babies.
well, esp. when teh stats are sooo old.

we do *think* we are done w/ this baby (at 40) b/c i wont get prego for at least 2 years (esp. now that i know im one of those women whose milk will dry up. )....so if we have a next one i will be 43....wow!!!
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Old 07-05-2008, 11:04 PM
 
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My mother was married "late in life," age 35. (This was the mid 1960s.) My brother was born with no problems when she was 37, I think, and then she had two miscarriages. My father was a veteran so she was going to an Army base for medical care when I was conceived. Apparently the doctor was convinced I would be what we now call special needs for some reason, and encouraged my mother to have an abortion. (This is pre-Roe vs. Wade, of course.)

My mother never suffered much of anything, so she promptly told the doctor what he could do with his medical advice and went to a private doctor. Although I was delivered via Cesarean (as my brother had been because of some "problem") I was obviously healthy.

My mom loved to tell the story. I, of course, was convinced I would NEVER HAVE KIDS, let alone have kids late in life, because I blamed all the problems in our relationship on the age difference.

What a difference in perspective we get from time, huh? Maybe I'll be looking at #3 at 41 and I'm sure Mom is laughing at me from above.

Beth.
Trying to be a joyful Catholic wife and mama, and taking it one day at a time!
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