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When will you tell people?

1K views 1 reply 2 participants last post by  writermama12 
#1 ·
For the first two babies, I couldn't contain myself and everyone knew right away, but for this third one... Well, I get the feeling not everyone gets thrilled about third and subsequent babies. Has that been your experience? We'll be visiting my husband's family in a week and a half (right when the nausea should hit good and strong) so I know we'll need to tell them; I plan on having my husband tell them on the phone shortly before so they can have their reactions more privately. I want to shield myself from witnessing any possible wincing. His family is very polite so it should be no problem, but MY mom, well, she's more blunt. My youngest will be five when this one is born and I'm sure she'll be upset that I was so close to re-entering employment and about to have a bit of a life of my own.
I am glad we told the kids right away; their excitement is so sweet and keeps this whole experience positive for me as my husband is definitely still processing it and is unfortunately not sharing their enthusiasm yet (even though this was no accident!).
What about you guys? How do your families take the news?
 
#2 · (Edited)
So, this is my 5TH !!! baby and I used to be an immediate sharer, but this time....I am a little more protective of my feelings. I know that some folks will be disappointed for whatever reason or think it isn't a good idea for us, but hey, it is most certainly not up to them!! So, I have shared with a few people I picked and chose based on who I thought would be happy for us. I have not told folks that I anticipate a less than happy reaction. In order to kind of help out too, I shared the news by saying we were THRILLED about it, so so happy, even though it wasn't planned it is so wanted and loved-- so they were then happy for me. I got to choose their reaction and spare myself the awkwardness of people being like, "Oh, so is this happy news?" or "Was it planned?" I beat them to it by setting the tone I wanted in return. You might try that.

I have found that sometimes people get caught up in their own feelings about fertility/family size/family whatever and let that bring down their congratulations, like for example I told a good friend I was expecting my third and she was NOT happy, actually she seemed sad for me and disappointed. It really bummed me out. Then I realized after she dropped me as a friend before the baby was born that she was just sad that she didn't have a fun buddy any more. Her kids were older and she wanted a girlfriend to go out with and get dinner and drinks and stuff...I wasn't going to be doing that for a while, so she moved on. Good riddance!

I will wait as long as needbe to tell others, maybe until after I feel totally comfortable with being pregnant again sooner than I wanted. It isn't BAD timing, just not my choosing. I went camping a big group of folks I've known for years the past weekend, but we aren't really close any more so I actually successfully didn't share the news. It was a first for me. And it feels good! I like not feeling quite so vulnerable.
 
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