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Sharing the news

3K views 34 replies 12 participants last post by  justlizzy 
#1 ·
Anyone have any good (or awkward, haha) stories about sharing the news with family or friends? We traveled over the weekend and shared the news with close family (and my best friend) and we had the gamut of reactions, from excited to confused. I think now that a few others know, its starting to feel more real to me.
 
#2 ·
We still haven't told anyone -- well, I should say that my husband isn't aware that I've told a few people - my previous DDC, a local friend who can run interference if our moms' group goes out, my sister who'll be the godmother (because I want her prayers for this baby to stick around).

Since I enter the 2nd trimester right before Spring Break we're thinking about heading down to announce in person -- and simply do it by having the toddler wear a shirt exclaiming him to be a big brother and not saying anything. The *only* thing I'm worried about is the in-laws being handsy with my stomach. They don't have boundaries - especially his uncle's wife who asks inappropiate things :eek
 
#3 ·
@justlizzy haha about your husband not knowing you've told a few people...I also told my previous DDC virtually (and surreptitiously!), which was really fun. Love the "big brother" shirt idea...I'm thinking of making a valentine's day-themed shirt for him to "announce" via a photo e-mail to those who live far away :) I feel like my belly/bloating is already giving me away, so when I start teaching in mid-January, it's going to be weird that my students will know, but my close friends won't!! So I'm erring on the side of sharing earlier rather than later. Good gracious about the in-laws being handsy!! Did you come up with any good strategies to keep them at bay last time around?
 
#7 ·
I started telling family members over Xmas, since everyone was together (and that wouldn't happen again for another year). Would have liked to wait longer (I was 8 weeks) but couldn't resist the opportunity to tell everyone in person.

We were out at a restaurant on Xmas eve with the cousins and grandparents, and I quietly ordered a virgin bloody mary from the waiter while everyone else ordered drinks for a toast. My plan was to raise my glass and say something like, FYI this is a virgin bloody mary, because we're expecting, blah blah blah.

Well the waiter approached my cousin, across the table from me, and said "do you want to order another virgin drink?" I was so embarrassed because I thought that he had confused her for me! And it was going to ruin my announcement plan for me to have to own up to being the one ordering the mocktail.

BUT - then SHE announced, that she was drinking virgin drinks because SHE was pregnant! There was a moment of confusion, because she literally said exactly what I was planning on saying. I must have had a weird expression on my face because she looked at me and said "what is it?" And not knowing how to rebound, I just said "me too!" Then EVERYONE was confused and they were like, "You too? What do you mean? Wait, what? Wait, you're pregnant too?!" It was a moment of chaos and took everyone a few seconds to understand what was happening, lol!

I was worried about stealing her thunder but everyone was just SO excited that there will be two additions to the family at the same time! (she's a week ahead of me).

Then, I kid you not, the SAME thing happened to me on New Years Eve with a friend. I decided I would tell 3 of my good friends (b/c they would definitely get suspicious if I was not drinking on NYE), and one of them announced it first when we were all together.

I love finding out that people close to me are due at the same time!
 
#8 ·
Wow @hi_i_am_leah your "virgin drinks" moment sounds like a memorable one! Having people close to you due at the same time is SO fun! One of my friends who had her first around the same time as my first is also pg again, but a few months ahead of me. She doesn't know about me yet, though, because we are waiting to share the news widely for at least a few more weeks. Once she knows, I'm hoping we can go back to pregnancy yoga together---so soothing and relaxing, not just the activity itself, but also the sharing/commiserating we do as a group!! Makes me feel not so crazy, haha. Do any of your friends/family who are due around the same time live nearby you, or are they all at a distance? Either way, I bet it will be awesome to have "due date" (or "due month") buddies.
 
#9 ·
@FyerFly -- The only strategy that worked last time was living in the midwest while everyone else is in Texas ;)

Our spring break announcement plans may change a bit -- my husband's paternal grandfather passed away after Christmas (it was expected, we just poorly planned for it) so we had to spring for a plane ticket so he could be in the Dallas area over the next few days. Thankfully I work for a company with a generous bereavement leave policy and can stay home. But now our spring break plans may have to change a bit.

Did anyone have a creative way they announced on Social Media either with this pregnancy if you have or the last time around? Since I hit the 2nd trimester in December last time I posted a stocking line-up as my facebook cover photo and on my blog with a "Coming May 2015" note. I'm thinking about painting pegdolls and taking a fun picture that'll announce we're pregnant AND officially announce we're moving in August (we had great timing there, lol)
@hi_i_am_leah -- the virgin drinks story is awesome! And what fun to have all kinds of little buddies close in age.
 
#11 ·
#10 ·
We told my in-laws over the holiday and my father-in-law just kept saying "ooooh my gooood" over and over and then pointed out how tired we both are because my 18 month old doesn't always sleep through the night. It was pretty awkward. We have a great relationship with him and he is very supportive, so I'm just chalking it up to his needing some time to adjust to the news. After all, he wasn't the only one who was surprised, if you get my drift!
 
#12 ·
@lerlisha I think the awkwardness you described was similar when we told my Dad/Brother - I would describe their response as "confused" but not negative per se - just sort of a "really, so soon?" response. Our DS has also never been the "best" sleeper - we are in the midst of working on some adjustments to our routine and sleep environment now to see if we can help him get more/better sleep - and its hard on all of us. We were a little surprised too, not because it was unintentional, but just because it happened so fast!!! I think had we known it might happen so fast, we might have waited just a bit longer ;)
 
#15 ·
Oooh I hope you'll post a pic when you're done!

Thats tough regarding the memorial service/celebration of life. I think our bodies can "tell" us when something feels right or not. I also think there are many ways to celebrate/honor someone's life beyond the particular agreed-upon day(s) when people gather, too.
 
#14 ·
Oh, also, my parents totally know now. When I talked to my mom while she was packing to leave to be with her sisters and dad after Grandma passed off-handily she said "You need to be careful, grief can do funny things when you're pregnant." I swear the woman has a 6th or 8th sense. But it's probably a good thing she knows because I was able to text her the U/S picture on Friday while she was en route, and of course she shared her hunch with my dad. :lol

I went ahead and told the rest of my siblings and a cousin who was asking if I was going to make my grandmother's memorial service or the celebration of life thing this weekend. Unfortunately I'm not for various reasons, one of which being the pregnancy. I'm starting to get sicker, and both my parents and my husband are (probably rightly) worried that the stress from emotion and travel could have a negative effect, especially since I'm still very firmly still in the first trimester.
 
#16 ·
It looks like I will actually be going this weekend, and flying out tomorrow night with DS. My dad took the temperature of family and he really thinks that it would be viewed as a snub if my mom wasn't there with as many of us as can go (I'm the oldest of five myself). BUT I'll be flying to Texas first then making the trek to Nevada with my mom and siblings to help with toddler wrangling. I know DS will be absolutely thrilled to see my brother -- the fun uncle.

Has anyone flown while newishly pregnant/with morning sickness? Any tips?
 
#18 ·
I have never done a "pregnancy announcement" type thing and since it is my last, I really want to do some kind of photo (I'm an amateur photographer currently studying photography), but I haven't decided yet what I want to do. I've been sorting through pinterest for ideas.... Anyone do a special announcement they want to share? I will share mine when I figure out what I do!
 
#20 ·
I announced to my working group today and it went well. Apparently a couple of them were taking bets about if it was another baby or a new job and very relieved that it's the baby :lol
 
#21 ·
@justlizzy glad that announcement went well!! I've been telling people at work this week too, and its very interesting how most of the responses are verrry different from #1 . One of my advisors basically just tallied up the "count" of how many babies my new baby will be for our PhD group and made a kind of rude comment about how it looks to an outsider that so many of us are having kids while in the program. It didn't bother me really, and people who are close to me are really kind and supportive, but its definitely weird to have your unborn child just be considered as a number.

I made DS a big brother t-shirt, and if things go well at our appointment this week (basically if we hear a heartbeat), I'm planning to post a photo next week (12 weeks). I look so pregnant already that its no secret in person now (that advisor basically gave me a once-over when she saw me standing outside her office - she knew before I even told her), and there are good friends and relatives who live far away who I'd like to share the news with way more than people who see me around school (including my students!!! I'm curious if they know or suspect...).
 
#23 ·
@FyerFly -- ugh, academics can be the WORST sometimes! When DS was born DH's old advisor told him how "irresponsible" it was for him to have a child while in the program. He looked her dead in the eye and actually said "Last I checked it's my WIFE doing all the work right now". I love that man. The lead secretary of his department asked a couple weeks ago when we were planning on number two and he said we had one coming -- needless to say, she was excited. She really is one of the sweetest people. I'm to the point where if people ask/guess I'm fine. I just warn people not to say anything on social media just yet because I have something planned... I probably SHOULD pick up paint and get those dolls done!
@BellaCassels -- my mom too!
 
#24 ·
@justlizzy youve got that right!! Makes me less sure I want to become an academic myself. Sometimes it seems like a toxic environment, but it probably depends on the school and department you end up in. Cant wait to see the dolls!!
 
#25 ·
12 weeks today, and since things were looking good at our appointment last week, I posted a photo of DS in his "big brother" shirt on facebook. Its really fun to share the news that way with friends and family who don't live close/who I don't talk to as regularly. And since I look so pregnant in person, its been feeling "public" for a while anyway...so the cat is officially out of the bag for us :)
 
#26 ·
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