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We found out the sex - by accident

952 views 5 replies 5 participants last post by  Fembot 
#1 ·
With DS, we were really clear with our midwife that we did not want to know the sex. Just a personal preference but I felt like we all live with these rigid gendered expectations and baggage related to society's understanding of how sex influences personality, roles, etc. We were so enamored with our little bundle of joy that it wasn't until about 45 mins after he was born that we even thought to find out what the sex was.

This time we are using a different midwife who doesn't have hospital rights and isn't covered by insurance, so I connected with a local hospital to get all my labs done, etc. The hospital midwives are very supportive of our desire for a home birth and have treated us with nothing but respect and professionalism. We decided to do the early genetic screening for chromosomal defects (which all came back low-risk!) and when the hospital called with the results, I told them I didn't want to know the sex. My main hospital midwife emailed me about the results as well and asked if I wanted to know, I said no thanks.

But they also mailed a hard copy of everything to my house that I can share with my home birth midwife. And when I opened that up, the first thing I saw was FETAL SEX: FEMALE.

I squealed with joy. I am so very excited to welcome a little girl into our family with two boys. And while I am disappointed to miss out on that part of the mystery of this pregnancy and the wonderful surprise of finding out in those moments after the birth, I am going to embrace this new knowledge fully and let it guide me in preparing for the birth. A little girl is on her way!

But we're not telling anybody except you all! I know my secret is safe here

:joy:joy:joy
 
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#6 ·
Congratulations on your baby girl (even though your surprise came early)!

With my 1st we mostly kept it a surprise, even though I had many dreams that directly told me I was having a girl so we weren't surprised when our DD was born. However, we did accidentally find out early. I had a 2nd ultrasound to check the baby's size and on the screen in said that the sex was female. We tried to not let seeing that make us feel any different, and like I said, I already felt pretty certain I was having a girl, so it didn't really give away the surprise.

This time I think I'm going to find out the sex. I agree with @mumto1 that people will gender their children (or not) regardless of when they find out the sex. It sounds like you value not pushing gender expectations on your children, and I don't think that will change now that you know the sex of this babe. Although I completely understand why you would want to keep that info a secret, I'm going to keep my babe's sex a secret too!
 
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