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#1 of 4 Old 05-13-2015, 03:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Need advice stat!

Hey everyone!

I hope all is well

So I am going to be a first time dad here around June 11th and I wanted some honest opinions from all you moms and dads.

I am a self employed photographer and after moving this past year, it's been hard finding new clients. I was recently contacted by a company to be the photographer on several big projects for products they're launching soon. The issue is, they want me to travel overseas for a up to 10 days at, initially leaving 4 days after the due date.

Normally, I wouldn't even question it, especially being a first time dad. But with this being such a huge project, it could change our family's life for the better.

There will also be more trips across the world throughout the year.

In your personally opinion, would you take the opportunity with the hopes of something bigger coming from it for your family, or do you turn it down in case the baby comes late or he or my wife have complications? It's a once in a lifetime job opportunity, but at the same time, so is the birth of your first child.

Im so on the fence and lost and could really use your help

Thanks in advance!
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#2 of 4 Old 05-13-2015, 06:23 PM
 
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I'd be inclined to say no, although it depends. Does your wife have some close friends, siblings, mother, etc. who she's really super close with and would be there to provide support? It would have to be someone as committed to her and that she's as comfortable with as you. I know I have one friend that I almost would have preferred to have with me over my DH ing_closed_eyes:. If she has that level of support, then maybe.

BUT. I fefl like the only way to present this to your wife is to say you're saying no. I just cannot envision a scenario where you tell your pregnant wife that you're maybe not gonna be there for the birth/early postpartum period and have it go over well. If she pushes you to take the opportunity and she will have adequate support, then maybe.

Timing is lousy, huh? Not religious, but I do kinda believe the saying about when God closes a door somewhere he opens a window.
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#3 of 4 Old 05-14-2015, 05:55 AM
 
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I think it would depend on how much you need the money. If you can get by without this gig, another one will come along. If you are really strapped, then it might not really be a choice. This is speaking as a fellow freelancer who supported her family for 8 years on a freelance income while my DH was a stay-at-home dad :-D

Mom "D" to DD1 "Z" (15) and DD2 "I" (12) DH "M"

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#4 of 4 Old 05-28-2015, 11:53 AM
 
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I'm sure you know since you are self-employed that building your own business does not happen overnight. Believe in yourself enough that you will build it up again. That being said - did you mention your wife's condition to the company offering you the job? Know one thing that is certain - if you don't ask the answer will always be "no". Maybe they would agree to have you travel at a more convenient time. However, if you know that traveling in general is not what you really want then that should really make the decision for you. If you won't mind traveling then you need to accept that you will miss out a lot of quality family time.

Have you discussed this offer with your wife at all? If not, then you most definitely should. Simply ask her for her opinion. Wives LOVE to be asked for their opinion! Discuss with her what you would be giving up to take the job as well as what you would be giving up if you reject the job. Make a list of pros and cons if you have to.

Without a doubt she would need a support system that she can depend on 100% should you not be available at the time of the delivery for whatever reason.

Good luck with the birth of your first child and with whatever decision you make together.
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