I feel like I have no one to talk to about this... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 36 Old 11-28-2007, 11:58 AM
 
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A lot of things can change in a year or two. I got married when I was 20 and we where BROKE. But we made it. We had Emily when I was 21 and I worked part time until she was 18 months.
But we made it. The thing is, is that if your dad is still supporting him you do have to honor what he wants as hard as that is to you. Maybe being a SAHM isn't your best option right now. I would rather work and have my own independence (as I did) then be under the thumbnails of my parents. You are an adult, and you made adult decisions. Sometimes it's just tough. Don't mean to sound harsh, but maybe you should just suck it up for a while and do what you need to do to move on. Otherwise, what's the future gonna hold for you?
An example of this is that I have a friend who did this only they moved in with her parents. DH went to school and teaches private school and now has his masters. They now have 3 children and STILL live with her parents. She's 26 and her DH is about 27. He still can't support them and isn't very motivated to either because they have been living off her parents this long, what's a few more years?
Again, hope that didn't come off to harsh. Sometimes it's just tough being an adult.

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#32 of 36 Old 11-28-2007, 08:10 PM
 
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An example of this is that I have a friend who did this only they moved in with her parents. DH went to school and teaches private school and now has his masters. They now have 3 children and STILL live with her parents. She's 26 and her DH is about 27. He still can't support them and isn't very motivated to either because they have been living off her parents this long, what's a few more years?
I can't speak for their situation without knowing them-but what's wrong with this? people in other cultures live with extended family their whole lives. there are benefits for many families- the grandparents love being so close to their kids & grandkids and feel useful, the parents have built in babysitters and are helped financially in some cases, the kids have two sets of adults who love them living right there, etc. We're temporarily living with my mother and stepfather while we save for a house- though, we still pay all of our own bills, we don't have to pay rent. And my father who has more money than he needs is happy to help us save for a home. We plan to make it up to them, many times over, financially and emotionally, in the coming years when they are elderly and need us. (Of course, we would do that anyways, but I think helping your own adult children *if you want to and can afford to* is understandable.)

There is no shame in getting assistance from a parent who is more than willing to do so. I do agree that it's only right to abide by their wishes of what you do with money they give you, but I don't think it completely gives them carte blanche to control your life. If they think it does, than maybe it's better not to take it- but for the OP, I think it's actually wise to keep up with the father's wishes for a little while longer, and then have another baby when you and your dh can afford one.

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#33 of 36 Old 11-28-2007, 08:41 PM
 
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because she is unhappy and has expressed this to her husband many many times. They are very irresponsible financially and prob could afford to live on their own, but because they never had any responsibility that way, they still spend like that. They would both rather not live with them but really aren't willing to say live in an apartment for a couple years to save up to buy a house.

ETA: HE is not willing, SHE is all for it. And she argues with her mom about things all the time, doesn't like how she (her mother) does things. IT's just gone on for far to long. Were going on 6 years now. She is ready to branch out and start living like an adult. HEr parents pay for everything. Oh I think she's buys her own groceries with NO savings AND credit card debt. IT went from something that was supposed to be temporary to this. She was going to school before getting pregnant with #2 but now she has 3 children and still living there.

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#34 of 36 Old 11-28-2007, 08:47 PM
 
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I do agree that it is great to have the help when you really need it but sometimes it can go way beyond that. And no, I don't think it's right to demand total control either.

Jennie: Working mother to 3 and loving wife to my hubby for over 12 years
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#35 of 36 Old 12-01-2007, 07:35 PM
 
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You may only make $10 a month from your blog (or less, lol, I've had websites that didn't make that in a year) but it's something, and it costs nothing. something from nothing. if you're writing anyway, for goodness sake put some adwords on and see what happens. Put affiliate links on, too of you want. Again, no investment other than about an hour of your time and income that takes no further effort. Why not?

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#36 of 36 Old 12-04-2007, 03:55 PM
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Educate yourself on blogging for a living. You can blog about what you love but do it in a way that attracts a following and that will help monetize your blog at the same time. You probably won't make a bundle but it's a start. Sometimes one small start develops other things and before you know it you're making a living on the web.

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