Tribe for pregnant and over 35? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 432 Old 04-09-2009, 12:30 AM
 
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Just wanted to say Hi over here.
I'm 39 and this is my 4th (9yo, 6yo, 3yo--yes, I clearly have a fertile time), and this will be our last.

I have to say that I'm more tired and more achy then I remember.

Glad to be here!
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#122 of 432 Old 04-09-2009, 01:46 AM
 
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i have another question (poll question), i see on my DDC board that some people have a "nesting" urge to do a bunch of housecleaning. a lot of these people seem to be first time moms to be.

how about the rest of you? are you "nesting" yet? as for me, i'm just too dog tired, day after day. my child is so spirited, she completely wears me out. we put an addition on our house over the winter and i still have a lot of resettling to do, but just no energy for it.

yet i know i *have to* have things simplified and in order by september when the new baby is due. i cannot live without simplicity going forward, i'm talking get rid of all excess clutter, have a place for each toy we keep, etc. it's making me mentally tired just trying to sort it all out.

for those of you working outside the home, do you have the same energy level as before you got pregnant, or are you also more tired?

for SAHMs of little ones, what is your strategy for surviving pregnancy fatigue when/if you never get a break?

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#123 of 432 Old 04-09-2009, 01:57 AM
 
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elliesMomma. May I ask why you will be wearing gloves when gardening? I garden too and hate wearing gloves. Is it because of the possibility of toxoplasmosis? I am planning on doing everything I normally do but probably not being outside in the middle of the day except when taking dd to the pool. The humidity here is stifling in the summer.
yes, probably paranoia about tosoplasmosis. although i have had cats for years and years. definitely stepped in cat poo when i was pregnant with DD and, living alone, had to scrape it off my own shoe. i have probably already been exposed and created whatever antibodies.

i'm just going to try to wear gloves when touching the soil, not when picking vegetables and stuff.

do you think it's not truly necessary?

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#124 of 432 Old 04-09-2009, 08:16 AM
 
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Eliiesmama,

I was wondering about the gloves too. I never used them before.

Fatigue is pretty bad this time and I feel so guilty about my DD because we end up not doing nearly as much as we used to.
I work only two 4 hour days outside home but also make soap with my sister that takes up at least 1 full day.

I do find though that if I get up and take her outside, the air helps wake me up and so does chasing her, getting exercise. I try to get her tired enough to take a long nap by making games that have her running the most!

No nesting here. I have no idea where we will put this little one...probably in my room for a year till we figure it out!

I'm not completely vegan but I am vegetarian for years and the most unexpected thing has happened. I am struggling to eat my normal veggies/salads but when I am out near restaurants the cooking meat smells good! It really seems unfair, there's no way I will eat meat but all of my food makes me sick except beans and lentils and couscous!

Deb

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#125 of 432 Old 04-09-2009, 08:59 AM
 
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i have another question (poll question), i see on my DDC board that some people have a "nesting" urge to do a bunch of housecleaning. a lot of these people seem to be first time moms to be.

how about the rest of you? are you "nesting" yet? as for me, i'm just too dog tired, day after day. my child is so spirited, she completely wears me out. we put an addition on our house over the winter and i still have a lot of resettling to do, but just no energy for it.
I'm only in week 15 but I did have nesting in the last few days before the births of my other two children. I remember both times vividly.

I did have a few days here and there with this pregnancy so far where the m/s was gone and I was feeling like cleaning house and I cleaned up the whole kitchen one day, inside the fridge, microwave, floors, everything!! I wish it would last. Sadly, my house needs it.

Proud *single* mom to 3 amazing kiddos
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#126 of 432 Old 04-09-2009, 10:41 AM
 
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I wouldn't call it nesting but I would say I have energy bursts involving cleaning. But it's because my house is a disaster and I feel like I need to get it in order before the real morning sickness and overwhellming fatigue hit. If it's not organized then I don't know what it will look like by the time I hit the second trimester.

Elliesmom, I know I didn't wear gloves gardening when I was pregnant with DD. I sort of recall reading that we should. My guess is that if you have cats a long time you probably already have the antibodies. Although, that does not stop me from refusing to scoop the litter box though!


Okay, ladies talk to me about tests. I know there are new ones since I was pregnant with DD.

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#127 of 432 Old 04-09-2009, 03:13 PM
 
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I wouldn't call it nesting but I would say I have energy bursts involving cleaning. But it's because my house is a disaster and I feel like I need to get it in order before the real morning sickness and overwhellming fatigue hit. If it's not organized then I don't know what it will look like by the time I hit the second trimester.
me too...then I get tired again LOL

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#128 of 432 Old 04-09-2009, 08:07 PM
 
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I'm feeling the tiniest bit fatigued, but it hasn't affected my routine as of yet. I'm really hoping not to get hit with much nausea, etc. as we have four months of jam packed action coming up with our move, some trips we have planned, and two rounds of company before we pack our suitcases one last time. Plus my day to day routine with three children keeps me busy enough!
I have had brownish/pinkish spotting for two full weeks now and I'm ready for it to stop. I had implantation spotting with my other pregnancies, but none that I remember dragging on so long.:
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#129 of 432 Old 04-09-2009, 09:13 PM
 
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I am almost 25 weeks and have done nothing for this baby yet except order 4 pairs of Babylegs and Hypnobabies online, LOL!
Everything is in the attic and I don't think I need to buy anything except probably another dozen cloth dipes since some of them are getting fairly thin after being used for 5.5 years by my two older DC. But I will use Seventh Gneration sposies until the meconium is gone. Also if this is another peanut baby. My cloth dipes don't fit well until 8 lbs.

I fall asleep earlier. Generally around 10 pm instead of 11 pm but other than that my energy level and general well being is about the same as pre-PG. I can't stand for long periods of time but I can still run (much more slowly) 3 miles three times a week, do yoga (except plank, my belly is too heavy!) twice and meet with my trainer once.

As long as I sleep with a pillow between my knees I don't have any aches and pains.

I do have to chuckle though that so many people seem SHOCKED that I am a) still running and working out and b) so healthy at my "advanced maternal age" of almost 42.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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#130 of 432 Old 04-10-2009, 06:54 PM
 
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veganmomma, i too sleep with a pillow between my knees. have been doing that continuously since i was pregnant with DD! one night, when she puked the bed, i had to sleep without the matress pad under the sheets. boy was i sore in the morning. funny how those little things make such a big difference.

as for me, today i hired my doula for my september birth! i actually haven't signed the contract, but i checked her references and called her to "reserve" the spot on her calendar. she also teaches lamaze, which i will be taking over the summer, as i get closer. my next appointment, with the midwife in the ob practice, is on wednesday. i told the doula i'd like to sign the contract and give her a check after wednesday, when we hear the heartbeat again, etc.

sometimes i think i feel movement, other times not. it comes and goes. i have yet to have that "flutter" feeling i had with DD. when i go on wednesday, i'm going to ask where the placenta is, anterior? the should have the u/s report from the nt scan by then.

someone asked about testing- we covered a lot of that a couple pages back on the thread, but if you have more specific questions, just ask!

hope you all have a nice weekend!

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#131 of 432 Old 04-11-2009, 09:02 AM
 
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Hi again,
Well, I had a great OB appt and u/s. Thankfully it looks like there is only 1 baby! The OB and everyone else were so supportive that I finally feel like everything is going to be good.

The only thing is that I'm kind of nervous because DH and I decided to do the CVS testing. We talked and talked about it and talked to the nurse about the risks of both the test and the chances of having a chromosomal abnormality. We figured that we have to know ahead of time to have a plan in place for after birth if there is any problem that will require extra help. So it has to happen in the next couple weeks because I'm already 10.5 weeks.

Has anyone else decided to do CVS or amnio? What do you all think about the stats of possible chromosomal issues as you get older? By the time this baby is born I will be 41! I feel kind of weird because I never did any testing with my other pregnancies but the numbers they gave us were pretty scary.
We just never expected to get pregnant again and this seems like such a whirlwind of decisions.

Thanks,
Deb

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#132 of 432 Old 04-11-2009, 10:32 AM
 
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We did an amnio when I was pregnant with dd. This time I am less inclined. However, just last night dh told me he wants to do testing because he as he put it so eloquently (sarcasm over) "really isn't into downs syndrome." Sooooooooo, we have a lot to talk about in the next few weeks. I sort of see where he is coming from. He is concerned about being able to financially care for a special needs baby and concerned about the burden they might end up being to dd because we are older, care would eventually fall to her. Etc... So this gives me a lot to think about and I really hope it's not an issue under the circumstances. One more thing to worry about. Anyone else have differing opinions on testing and outcomes than their partners?

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#133 of 432 Old 04-11-2009, 04:50 PM
 
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I'm not planning on any testing, maybe just one ultrasound to rule out twins. I don't have a doctor here or midwife, so I might wait until we're back in Canada before I get the ultrasound. I would be about 6 months by then. I guess my objection to testing is the dilemma it causes. What do you do with that information? I don't want to be in that position.
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#134 of 432 Old 04-11-2009, 05:49 PM
 
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I just did the Integrated pregnancy Screen which is 2 blood tests (1 few weeks apart) and an ultrasound. My results were good. 1/670 chance of Down's and even less of Spina Bifida so I decided to forgo CVS and ammnio.
I would have done the ammnio if my results were more than 1 in 50 I think.
Our lives would change drastically if we were to have a baby with Down's. I would have to quit my job so it would be better to know that beforehand. I have clients and wouldn't just want them handed over to anyone.
My bestfriend has an only child and he is special needs. She does work full time and her DH works part time but part time is not an option in either of mine or DH's jobs and we also have 2 other children.

Me (42), DH (41), DD (7), DS1 (5) and DS2 Aug 02/09
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#135 of 432 Old 04-12-2009, 12:51 PM
 
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I think I will do the initial screenings and see how they turn out and go from there. I can't change anything so I really don't want to add this to things to worry about. I will just take it one day at a time. And in the event there is a problem I will hope that we can come to a decision we both can live with. Right now I'd rather worry about why I didn't do my taxes earlier and how I will get them done before Tuesday.


Today, I am a little concerned. DD was sick yesterday, she developed a fever over the course of the day while we were out. She didn't eat much all day, only a few strawberries, she refused to drink, but kept urinating a lot which is unusual and by the time we got home she just wanted to go to bed. Her temp at that time was 103.7 at 4:00 PM. She just laid in the bed staring at the ceiling and drifted in and out of sleep. This has never happened before. She has only been sick three times, only colds, but never acted like this. I finally got her to take tylenol at 9:00 PM and her fever came down a few degrees. She slept all night and is somewhat better today. My concern is that her cheeks were really red last night, so now I am worrying it is fifths disease. She does not seem to have a rash on her body so I hope I am just worrying about nothing. With a fever that high I assume anyone's cheeks would be red. It would be just such a twist of fate that I'd finally get pregnant and we come in contact with fifths. Hopefully, if it is fifths I've either had it before or my obsessive hand washing will prevent me from getting it.

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#136 of 432 Old 04-13-2009, 12:39 AM
 
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I dunno Kristin0105, but if it were me, I'd take my kid in to the doc just to make sure it's not fifth disease. My little guy had a viral exanthem (rash thing) a year or so ago all over his body and it was very alarming to see (I kept expecting it to be smallpox or something much more sinister). When I took him to the doc, she said it was totally harmless and nothing dangerous, just a viral thing. It was a relief to find out that it was nothing too awful, so maybe it would give you peace of mind to take your daughter in. Anyway, I hope your daughter gets better soon!
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#137 of 432 Old 04-13-2009, 09:14 AM
 
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Kristin, how is she doing today? I think I would take her too just to know for sure.

So, I guess about doing the testing. It is really important for us to know ahead of time so we can plan if there is any issue requiring extra care because I am fairly certain I would need help, like even hiring someone because of my MS.

DH and I have talked a lot about it and we are on the same page as far as wanting the test and being able to plan. But when we (briefly) considered the possibility of a really bad problem, neither of us knew what we would do. It really is a dilemma we don't want to face but I guess I'd rather face it sooner than later. I have no idea what I would do.

Great news today though! I woke up feeling good! Not sick feeling and I'm definitely headed to the gym to take advantage of that!

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Deb

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#138 of 432 Old 04-13-2009, 11:17 AM
 
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Thanks for your concern ladies. Yesterday dd was much better when she woke up. She still had a low grade fever but only 100.7 and she only complained about a sore throat in the morning she said it was gone by afternoon. She was feeling well enough to run outside to see if the bunny left any eggs for her. The day before she was asking us to carry her to the potty. Today she is 100% better. Whatever it was she fought it off pretty quickly. If she had still been sick yesterday like she was Saturday afternoon I would have called her doctor. Luckily, she is all better. Hopefully, I will stay healthy

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#139 of 432 Old 04-14-2009, 03:46 PM
 
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Has anyone else decided to do CVS or amnio? What do you all think about the stats of possible chromosomal issues as you get older? By the time this baby is born I will be 41! I feel kind of weird because I never did any testing with my other pregnancies but the numbers they gave us were pretty scary.
I am getting the AFP test (Triple Screen, Quad Screen and Penta Screen Testing) done soon. I took it with my other two pregnancies. I'd rather go ahead and do that one and pass on the amnio. I told the doc that if I were to show if'y results with the AFP test then I might consider the amnio at that point. However, I really don't want to go through with that if there's no reason to.

The only thing I don't like is that I'll be 17 weeks along when we get the AFP test. I wish I would have done it sooner but they said 14 weeks was the soonest and I didn't want to do it "too" soon or "too" late so I picked a time somewhere in the middle.

Proud *single* mom to 3 amazing kiddos
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#140 of 432 Old 04-14-2009, 05:21 PM
 
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most people (even over 40) get reassuring results with the screening tests and are thereby able to bypass the amnio and CVS. now doctors will tell you (rightly) that there are no guarantees with the screenings, and the only way to know for sure is to do the amnio (or CVS). it's up to you, and i think you should gauge your "gut feeling". entirely anecdotal, but it *seems* to me that the moms who have a bad feeling and therefore do invasive testing like amnio and CVS sometimes get the feeling confirmed (and many times are reassured). personally, i have a good feeling about my pregnancy, and i just turned 41. i hesitated to even do the screenings but wound up having the NT scan on the morning of 13w0d b/c that was the day i had a touch of spotting, and they sent me over to the ultrasound place to do a scan to make sure the baby was alright.

it was fine. moving, strong heartbeat and appropriate growth. i was so relieved i didn't even care about the NT scan at that point, and just said do whatever. the scan results were reassuring, and combined with my blood showed a 1/1241 risk for downs. when you read that the national average risk of downs across all ages is 1/800, i don't think i have any need to worry about that. i think when i go back for my next appointment (tomorrow) they are going to draw blood for the spina bifida screening. hopefully that will be ok too.

as you know there are no guarantees in life at all, and doing the testing or not doing it can be a hard decision to make. perhaps it is important to consider what you will do with any information that you may gain. would it be beneficial to you and your family to know in advance? what might you terminate for (or not)? and don't forget there is such a thing as false positives, which can cause considerable stress and possibly ruin your pregnancy. it is my understanding that the false positives are only possible with the screening tests, not the amnio or the CVS. but the amnio and the CVS give you the risk of miscarriage, which the ultrasound and blood draw screenings do not.

tough call.

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#141 of 432 Old 04-15-2009, 09:25 AM
 
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It is really a tough decision. I got a call yesterday and they set up appts for Tues. the 21st. First the counseling, then a scan and then the CVS. I'm really nervous but it is the last week to possibly do CVS so I set it up and I guess we can still back out if we change our minds at the counseling session.
I don't want to wait so late to do an amnio if that is necessary, you know?

Last pregnancy I felt awesome and like I was absolutely sure that it would be wonderful and did no tests except the one blood test and the nuchial fold. But this time I'm extremely worried, I don't know why, really and it was magnified by the statistics the nurse gave me in that initial visit.

On the positive side, I woke up feeling less sick! So maybe I can stop eating every time I feel that overwhelming nausea and drop a few of these 10 pounds I gained in the last few weeks!

The weather is supposed to be beautiful starting tomorrow for the rest of the week and weekend so I cannot wait to get out in the garden. I have big plans this year to really move toward being much more self sustaining.

Hope everyone is doing great today!
Deb

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#142 of 432 Old 04-15-2009, 10:15 AM
 
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On the positive side, I woke up feeling less sick! So maybe I can stop eating every time I feel that overwhelming nausea and drop a few of these 10 pounds I gained in the last few weeks!

The weather is supposed to be beautiful starting tomorrow for the rest of the week and weekend so I cannot wait to get out in the garden. I have big plans this year to really move toward being much more self sustaining.
i'm confused. you gained weight early in pregnancy and want to lose some of 10 pounds? i don't think that's advisable (to try to lose weight now).

i gained about 10 pounds early on, and have struggled to gain the past two months. it happened naturally. i go to the doctor (midwife) today, they wanted me to at least not lose this time. i probably gained a bit. i've had to focus on eating. sometimes i'm just not hungry.

i'm right there with you with the gardening. i put in the following seeds already: spinach, lettuce, peas. and have started indoors: tomato, egg plant, pepper, broccoli, cauliflower, and am tending those sprouts.

we had a self sustaining garden last year. we filled our deep freezer, and had so much extra i spent a lot of time harvesting, cleaning and giving away.

trying to eliminate the give aways this year since it was a huge time suck for me, and this year i need to conserve my energies for the pregnancy.

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#143 of 432 Old 04-15-2009, 11:48 AM
 
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It really depends on mom's size and caregivers WRT losing weight in pregnancy. For moms that have alot of extra pounds there is some research that indicates weight loss in pregnancy isn't entirely bad (not that I agree with it, but it is there).

I am feeling a little better and haven't gained anything yet. MW isn't worried. Nausea is finally coming down to managable levels and I can make it thru the day on 8 or 9 hours of sleep instead of 10-12. I'm 18 weeks today, feeling baby move a little.

I'm off to another state for a job interview tomorrow - wish me luck... if it goes well, I will be telling them about the pg then.

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#144 of 432 Old 04-15-2009, 02:03 PM
 
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I guess it really isn't a good idea to lose weight, huh. I'm just frustrated because I never gained 10 pounds by 11 weeks! I'm still at a normal weight, I guess I should just concentrate on eating healthy food now instead of the junk food that seemed to be the only thing that would stay down!

It is actually sleeting right now! And supposed to be 70 tmorrow, I can't wait!

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#145 of 432 Old 04-15-2009, 05:00 PM
 
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1) OB- appointment reminder
2)billing specialist--insurance
3)Genecisit's office--calling to confirm
4)Genetic Counselor--yeah that was fun
5)OB- genecist does not have previous records
6)Intake at the hospital--arrive 15 min early
sheech they make it seem like you are at HI risk for everything
oh and they offered me an amnio "in case I changed my mind", since I have declined this a half dozen times already
I should have lied about my age from the beginning
as it is I have been worried enough because this pregnancy is so different than with DD like I need their reinfocement

thanks for listening to my vent

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#146 of 432 Old 04-16-2009, 01:04 AM
 
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mamamia, sounds like the office is more than a little disorganized, and/or micromanaged.

AFM, i had my monthly visit today with the midwife in the practice. liked her. found out i have an anterior placenta, which i suspected b/c although i have been feeling "pops" and what i would describe as "kicks" since around 14 weeks, i have yet to have the "flutter" sensation i had with my first pregnancy.

baby's heart rate was 156. we go for the big ultrasound on 5/4. i'm secretly hoping for another girl, but telling everyone we will be happy either way and take what we get! if it's a boy, it's good too. if it's a girl, i will have a sister for my daughter, which is something i never had, growing up with three brothers.

pretty sure this is our last child.

my SIL is due around the same day as me and her belly is huge already. seriously huge, like 8 months pregnant huge. my midwife felt my uterus and said my size was perfect. though i feel small in comparison to SIL.

oh one more thing that happened to me recently, i described the experience in a post to my DDC and got a reply that hit the diagnosis right on the head: visual migraine. the other day, after cleaning and organizing and watching DD the usual all day (it was a cold rainy day and we stayed in; DH is home on vacation and we both just worked and worked around the house all day), i experienced a very weird visual disturbance, where the left eyesight had a square shaped "prism" of shimmering light, that made it very very hard to read and see normally. i was afraid i was having a stroke! i was stressed and fatigued, and decided to lay down in a quiet room and see if it went away, and it did after 10 minutes. according to the experts, migraines - visual and the headache kind - can be brought on with pregnancy (hormones) and the visual migraine is harmless (unless you are driving/doing otherwise sight dependent things, in which case you are to pull over, etc./wait it out). they say it is *not* related to being 40+.

hope you all are doing well.

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#147 of 432 Old 04-16-2009, 08:57 AM
 
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mammamia that sounds like too much for 1 day! Sometimes it seems like a regular job keeping up with dr appts for me,lol.
Hope your u/s goes well.

ElliesMomma that must have been very weird. I've heard of that but never experienced it!

I'm really hoping for a sister for DD too. I have my two older boys then my wonderful surprise DD! Now since we are actually pg again, unexpectedly, I think it would be great for her. I love being close to my sister.

Deb, Mom to Madeleine 8/2005 and Maia 11/2009 Nick: and Chris
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#148 of 432 Old 04-16-2009, 11:16 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElliesMomma View Post
oh one more thing that happened to me recently, i described the experience in a post to my DDC and got a reply that hit the diagnosis right on the head: visual migraine. the other day, after cleaning and organizing and watching DD the usual all day (it was a cold rainy day and we stayed in; DH is home on vacation and we both just worked and worked around the house all day), i experienced a very weird visual disturbance, where the left eyesight had a square shaped "prism" of shimmering light, that made it very very hard to read and see normally. i was afraid i was having a stroke! i was stressed and fatigued, and decided to lay down in a quiet room and see if it went away, and it did after 10 minutes. according to the experts, migraines - visual and the headache kind - can be brought on with pregnancy (hormones) and the visual migraine is harmless (unless you are driving/doing otherwise sight dependent things, in which case you are to pull over, etc./wait it out). they say it is *not* related to being 40+.
I get these too. I've slowed them down in my regular life, but every pg I have at least 2. The really important thing is being able to lie down when they start and possibly sleep. If you can rest during the visual stage then you often avoid the headache, if you tough it out it's sometimes a day of headache or longer.
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#149 of 432 Old 04-16-2009, 04:01 PM
 
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Hi ladies, I'd like suggestions of preventing and eliminating swelling in my feet. I am only 6 weeks pregnant and already my toes and ankles are starting to swell. Last pregnancy it didn't start until 5 months. And swimming everyday eliminated it. I've been swimming 30-65 minutes a day this week and it's not helping. Any suggestions? Foods to avoid? Try? Thanks

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#150 of 432 Old 04-17-2009, 04:57 AM
 
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Hello, Ladies. May I join you? I'm going to be 39 next month and this is baby #6 for me. I have 5 daughters ages 17, 10, 8, 3 and almost 2, so I am assuming this will be another girl. I'm only about 5 weeks, I believe, so I just started telling family and close friends. Some of the responses have not been very supportive. I'm not sure if it's my age or the number of kids I have, but I think I've only gotten 2 "congratulations." Mostly I get comments like, "They know what causes that now," or my personal favorite, "Better you than me." Why can't people just be happy for me?

I'm happy to find a group of older moms here. I'm finding I feel pretty alone right now.
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