Will using an "out there" name hurt my child? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 10:37 PM
 
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I usually lean towards more traditional names so I was curious to what these weird names were. Um, they aren't weird and Fable is beautiful!!! I love that!


Zepplin is a great name too. I don't see any teasing happening but a lot of character and beauty.

You chose great names.

Mom of two boys (7/05 and 2/09)
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#62 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 10:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by neverdoingitagain View Post
Only drawback is that you won'tbe able to find your kids name on a cup or a keychain. Oh well.
Thanks! Oh, and now there are websites that allow for you to order cup, pencils, keychains, etc. with any name you want... I can't find any, but I know they're out there!
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#63 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 10:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think Fable is a beautiful name and kind of wish I'd thought of it myself *mental note for next child*. I picture Fable as a very kind woman. I can imagine a child, a young woman, a middle aged person, and an elderly lady with this name.
Exactly my thought! I think it will be lovely and wise on a little child, lovely and sweet on a young woman, and smart sounding on an older person. I think Fae would be a cute nickname too.
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#64 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 10:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Ceinwen View Post
I Fable - LOVE it!

Unfortunately I'm gonna have to steal it for my short list.
Gah, you can't steal my baybee's nayme!!!1! (Ah, it's ok!)
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#65 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 10:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by LizzyQ View Post
I don't think it should be acceptable at all. But the reality is the reality.. there is no sense trying to ignore reality just because we don't like it. I hope that our children's generation will be more accepting of differences.. and I don't think anyone here is trying to tell the OP that she is making the wrong decision for her baby names.. she asked for honest opinions.

I LOVE unique and different names.. but I choose not to use them for my own children for the reasons mentioned here. I think someone can still use a unique name that is still "normal" However, I am not the OP and she gets to make the final choice
Just to be clear I am not debating the reality of it just saying it's wrong.

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#66 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 10:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by purplemoon View Post
I usually lean towards more traditional names so I was curious to what these weird names were. Um, they aren't weird and Fable is beautiful!!! I love that!


Zepplin is a great name too. I don't see any teasing happening but a lot of character and beauty.

You chose great names.
Lol, well they are a bit on the out there side, but only a smidgen. Thanks for the compliments!
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#67 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 10:49 PM
 
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I posted this before, but my name is Whitney, kinda common, not "weird" and it rhymes with some pretty *fun* things.......S*itney, T*tney, Cl*tney.......and I went on to name by kinds kinda different names that rhyme or have something that could be picked on for.....honestly if its not your name its something eles.
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#68 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 10:50 PM
 
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I have no doubt those studies are true but the point is we need to change societies narrow perceptions not pander to them.
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Again, no doubt, but why are we talking about making this more acceptable instead of saying it's wrong and putting a stop to it?
I too dream of a world where people are judged by the content of their character... er, credentials. The question is how do we work toward that world? For me, it's primarily by making unbiased hiring decisions (when I'm in a position to "hire" a doctor, lawyer, dogwalker, babysitter, etc). Just giving your child an out-there name and saying, "Go forth, Zappo Moonbeam Pixiestick, and change the world!" doesn't really do it for me. (Using a deliberately out-there name to make a point.) Now if you change your own name to Zappo Moonbeam Pixiestick -- which, of course, as adults we're all free to do legally -- and run a successful business or whatever, then more power to you! But just giving your kid the name sort of seems like making your child do the heavy lifting.

I still like Fable.

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#69 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 10:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by philomom View Post
Yes, and I have to admit when I'm searching for a new doctor or care provider, I always dismiss the ones with very odd or "too ethnic sounding" names.
Wow, I kind of do the opposite! I go to the ones that have the really ethnic ones as (and this is also racist) I feel most ethnic people are smarter and more educated than anglo-people are. In college, the smartest, most hard working students always were the ethnic students.
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#70 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 10:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sunflwrmoonbeam View Post
As for spelling, having a name no one can spell is ANNOYING. And being the sole person with a name has downsides as well. My maiden name is long and Lithuanian and very rare in this country. You google me you find me or immediate family members (and not all of it's pleasant). Now that I've changed my name to something simpler I have a degree of anonymity. People can't just type my name into google anymore and figure out where I live, where I went to school, what I read, what websites I visit, and my family history.
Y'know, that's never bugged me (I had a rare first and unique last name both growing up and now), but my partner had a common name before we melded our last names, and after 9/11 he was on the black list for flying, because someone else with his exact first middle last name was on it, and he never could do web check in, always had to show up hours early, etc. Oh, and when he went to court to change his name, he got flagged because someone with his original name owed the court hundreds of dollars.

He vastly prefers having a unique last name now. And he very happily gave our child an almost-unique first name and rare middle name.

Really, I just don't think anyone's experience is universal-ize-able. There are at least as many arguments against common names as there are against rare names. And the only argument in favor of either that really matters is what the parents want.
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#71 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 11:02 PM
 
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Not preg...just saw this on the front page.

I don't think there is anything wrong with naming your child whatever you want. Kids will get picked on for a million things. Glasses, braces, tall, short, fat, skinny, curly hair, freckles, big ears, big nose, crooked teeth...really you can't prevent teasing. It's going to happen because kids are (in general) mean...

My DD's name is Aldria (All-Dree-Uh). I don't regret her name. I love her name. It fits her I think. If someone were to pass her up for being their physician or in college or whatever...well than that is their loss.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#72 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 11:30 PM
 
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I don't know about you but people like to spell my name Margarete or Margarita because apparently Margaret is just too hard to believe.
You know, maybe it is b/c I am in the midwest, I've never had ppl think I'm a, "Margarete" or "Margarita." Usually, ppl spell my name, "Margret," "Margete" or "Margrat." Yes, totally butchered, don't you think? The worst one though is my mil's way of spelling my name, which she decided to put on ALL of her Christmas cards the yr that my DH and I got married. She spelled my name, "Magalet" and then it wasn't until one of her friends commented that I had a very, "interesting" way of spelling my name that my mil even REALIZED that she had totally screwed up my name. She acted like her spelling error was a common one and thought it was all very funny... but it's not uncommon for my mil to make as a$$ of herself and not even realize it.
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#73 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 11:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by philomom View Post
Yes, and I have to admit when I'm searching for a new doctor or care provider, I always dismiss the ones with very odd or "too ethnic sounding" names.
Yep. Sometimes you're just looking for a doc who you can be reasonably sure is a native English speaker. And when all you've got is a list of names, well, the name is what you go by. Not saying that non-native speakers aren't terrific doctors or communicators. But we all make choices based on our comfort levels.
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#74 of 115 Old 05-14-2009, 11:52 PM
 
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I will not flame you but I just need to point out how racist and ethnocentric that is, especially odd coming from someone with the username philomom. I thought it had to do with philosophy, but I guess it might just be that you have a daughter named philomena (which is a great name).
Ah, yes.... but I'm not the only one. Scores of my friends do the same when looking at a bare bones "provider in your network" list from the insurance folks.

And my kids have short, traditional names that were in the top ten around 1908. Plucked from obscurity off the family tree to be used in the here and now.
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#75 of 115 Old 05-15-2009, 10:15 AM
 
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When I first saw Fable, I also thought it meant a lie or something made up. Yes it's a story, but I think it is usually used to mean when someone made up a story in order to lie to you.
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#76 of 115 Old 05-15-2009, 10:23 AM
 
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I think more and more people are going with unique names. I know that is something I looked for when I was picking names.

I just saw in the paper yesterday a name I would have never thought of in a million years her name is Southern Misery Dawn cant get much more unique than that

 
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#77 of 115 Old 05-15-2009, 10:40 AM
 
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Gah, you can't steal my baybee's nayme!!!1! (Ah, it's ok!)
You're too gracious. I'm actually done having kids - but my two girls are Zoë & Rue, and we get slack for my younger dd's name all the time.

It's Rue - like the flower.

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#78 of 115 Old 05-15-2009, 01:57 PM
 
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I believe in weird names...with a passion. My husband and I are thinking of weird names for our children. Well, our baby. This is our first and we don't want something that everyone else has. However, I think our first daughter's name will be increasingly common, but we love the name too much. I like Fable very much. Zeplin is not bad either. The link between the hindenberg had me puzzled so I looked it up..."The disaster of the Hindenburg happened on 6 May, 1937. The LZ-129 Zeppelin Hindenburg exploded in mid-air killing 34 people." (http://www.essortment.com/all/hinden...rdac.htm)...so that's why. But, I don't see anything wrong with it..more people will link it with the band versus the hindenberg.

Kids will tease each other for no reason. I was teased in middle school because I was a tomboy and didn't wear makeup. In highschool it was because I was too polite and was a virgin..so, kids will tease for any reason. They made fun off my last name too OLZER..i always got ulcer or something else..

Please, don't listen to other people, do what you feel is best for your kids. They will appreciate a unique name once they see everyone else has the same names as each other.
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#79 of 115 Old 05-15-2009, 02:05 PM
 
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I think fable is a beautiful name!
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#80 of 115 Old 05-15-2009, 02:32 PM
 
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This is a good example. When you know nothing about someone and are trying to decide to hire them (whether as an employee or a doctor or what have you) you only have what's on a piece of paper. I've skipped over doctors because of their sex (male gynecologists scare me), therapists because of names (I have some serious family abuse issues and I know from personal experience that certain cultures are more supportive of family abuse than others), and other professionals because of stated interests. The fact of the matter is that often in this society we have to go by at a glance impressions and can't really look at the whole person.
This kind of attitude will not be able to be sustained for much longer, as we become more and more multicultural and multiracial.

If you saw my name on an insurance panel list of providers (of which I am, by the way), you would never know that I am a multicultural, biracial woman. Both my maiden and married names do not give away the fact that I am 1/2 Asian. If you saw my maiden name, you would assume that I was of Irish descent, and my married name screams "blue blood".

I guess you would have been confused, walking in to my office, because I don't "look like" my name.

Anyways, I'm kind of shocked at people even equating ethnic names as being "weird".

OP, Fable is a beautiful name. I actually kind of like Zeplin too, although the connotations that PP's have mentioned are definitely something to consider.

I have a common name (well, it's a very common 70's name), and growing up, I always wanted to change it to a "weird" name. Ariadne was at the top of my list (I used to be really into Greek mythology).

For DD's name, we crossed off anything that was in the top 200. Which is funny because we not only have another little girl in our circle of friends that has the same name (spelled differently but pronounced the same), as well as a little boy who has the very unusual name that we had picked if she had been a boy.
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#81 of 115 Old 05-15-2009, 02:41 PM
 
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I would not use Zeplin because it makes me think of the Hindenburg and the blimp and the (totally cheesy) band. But I do LOVE Fable.

Trying to live a simple life in a messy house in a complicated world with : DH, DD (b. 07/07), DS (b. 02/09), and DD (b. 10/10)
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#82 of 115 Old 05-15-2009, 02:51 PM
 
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I named my daughter Aoibheann. Fable doesn't seem very far out there to me! At least it is easy to pronounce.

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#83 of 115 Old 05-15-2009, 03:50 PM
 
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I love your name choices. I also received the "could it be a president/judge" criticism over my name choices for a girl and may I point out that leaders of state and judges are officially called by their last names, not first. It isn't President Barack, it's President Obama.
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#84 of 115 Old 05-15-2009, 04:11 PM
 
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I named my daughter Aoibheann. Fable doesn't seem very far out there to me! At least it is easy to pronounce.
I'm dying to know: how do you pronounce that? I'm sure it's not Ow-bean, but that's what sprung instantly to mind.
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#85 of 115 Old 05-15-2009, 06:56 PM
 
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I don't think there is anything wrong with unusual names, but Fable and Zeplin aren't unusual names, they are nouns, still in use in the language with no real history as names. Word names are common in many cultures, but the problem with them is that they often have very diverse connotations. So while you might think of Fable as "A story with a moral" your daughter may wonder why you named her something that means "a lie" as well. You can use a word as a name, but all the connotations of that word come with it.

Similarly, a Zeppelin is a gas filled bag of hot air. You might not associate it with the Hindenburg but rather with the band, but the band chose the name because they associated it with blimps.

I wouldn't worry much about teasing but rather what your children will think about their own names and what you thought about naming them. If you still think you want to use them, try living with them yourself for a few days. One test that is often suggested, go to starbucks and order a coffee under that name, do you feel ridiculous or is it fun to use the name, do you get peels of laughter, or a compliment or just your coffee? Try using the name when you order a pizza on the phone, do you have to spell it three times? Yell it out the door calling the children for dinner. Try it plugged into a wedding announcement, resume, business card. If it works in all those ways than consider it as a name you can give.

I think its fine to give unsual names, (two of my children have extremely unusual names) and I have a certain fondness for some word names (especially nature names) but I think they usually work better in the middle name spot because of the diverse connotations and the pressure to "live up to them". (I personally would not want to be a "story with a moral")

If they are first names they should be first names that you'd be happy to use yourself, think of all of the ways you use your name every day, can the names you have picked be used in all those ways? I think too often parents forget that the little sweet baby will grow to be an adult and this name belongs to them, not to you.

For both of these the meanings would steer me away from using them as first names no matter how much I liked them. (and I do think Fable is pretty) In the end its your choice, and at first you will be the one to use it every day, so you do need to love it, but keep in mind that you aren't the one who will keep it for life.

Some random alternatives:

Zeplin: Zephyr, Zephanaiah called Zephan (or just go with Zephan), Steffan, Stellan, Zohar, Zahir, Zaid

Fable: Faye (or Faie for an old fashioned spelling) Faina (fa-ee-na) (or the greek myth name Phaenna) Sharazad (a teller of stories) or any one of a lot of wonderful story heroine names.
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#86 of 115 Old 05-16-2009, 03:56 AM
 
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What a thoughtful and well-written post, Erica! Thank you for it (we'll soon be thinking of names for our little bean too. To the OP, I like the sound of Fable, but I would personally go for something else rather than both those names for reasons that Erica and some other PPs have mentioned.
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#87 of 115 Old 05-16-2009, 06:36 AM
 
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I wouldn't worry much about teasing but rather what your children will think about their own names and what you thought about naming them. If you still think you want to use them, try living with them yourself for a few days. One test that is often suggested, go to starbucks and order a coffee under that name, do you feel ridiculous or is it fun to use the name, do you get peels of laughter, or a compliment or just your coffee? Try using the name when you order a pizza on the phone, do you have to spell it three times? Yell it out the door calling the children for dinner. Try it plugged into a wedding announcement, resume, business card. If it works in all those ways than consider it as a name you can give.
...
If they are first names they should be first names that you'd be happy to use yourself, think of all of the ways you use your name every day, can the names you have picked be used in all those ways? I think too often parents forget that the little sweet baby will grow to be an adult and this name belongs to them, not to you.
This is such good advice. My daughter has a very unusual name, and though I love it sometimes I think it's just not worth it that I have to explain it to everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Every little old lady I meet who says "Oh she's so cute! What's her name?" Every mom at the park that I'm making small talk with. Repeat name. No, not (very common name that doesn't actually sound all that similar). Repeat name. Spell name. No, it's not a family name. It's the name of a character in literature. And by this point, I'm thinking "Jeez, what an affected name. Why didn't I just name her the common name that everyone thinks she's named anyway?"

I'm not saying I would have named her something else if I thought of all this, but at the very least it would have given me pause. I think it is a good idea to think of all the throwaway times we use our names, and all that can go wrong. My DH has an unusual name coupled with an accent, so when he calls for takeout he uses his middle name. I know he wishes his parents had named him something "normal." I hope that my DD grows to love her unusual name, but if she doesn't we gave her a simple middle name that she can always go by.

Trying to live a simple life in a messy house in a complicated world with : DH, DD (b. 07/07), DS (b. 02/09), and DD (b. 10/10)
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#88 of 115 Old 05-16-2009, 06:37 AM
 
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Results indicated that Common names were seen as least unique
Ya don't say!

Zeplin reminded me of Zaphod Beeblebrox from The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Or Zefram Cochrane from Star Trek. Z-names just seem scifi to me... not that that has to be a bad thing (she says, having considered Jean-Luc for a boy).

Fable isn't really my thing either - too pretty-pretty for my not-very-girly taste - but I do like the sound of it. I'm worried it'd be prone to misspelling though - Fabel? Faybelle? Faible? What would you think about choosing Fae/Faye for the actual name and using Fable as the nickname?

Anyway, though neither name is to my taste, I've heard far worse. I used to work at a school, and raised my eyebrows at weird names on the cloakroom pegs a dozen times a day.

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#89 of 115 Old 05-16-2009, 11:08 AM
 
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I think Mabel is just as unique and a more legitimate name. Its certainly not common these days.

XOXO
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#90 of 115 Old 05-16-2009, 11:15 AM
 
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I do not think of "a lie" when i hear fable I think of a whinsical stoy that is just me and I seem to be in the minority on that one I still vote to use fable!

Glenn bouncy.gif 11*09 Joe 4*04 peace.gif Me praying.gif & Hubby geek.gif

 

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