Overreacting? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 06-13-2009, 11:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel like maybe i'm being too hard on my mom some days and then other days I feel really irritated.

Does anyone else try hard to avoid raw meat while they're pregnant? Obviously I don't eat it but I mean even handling it in the kitchen. My mom tonight took raw hamburgers out of a package and then used the package as a tray (without washing it) to bring things like cheese and hot dogs to the BBQ. She says it's fine because the cheese and hot dogs are still in packages but I just don't see it like that. Now any germs that were in that package are all over her hands and she's touching the food we're about to eat. I wasn't actually eating any of it tonight but it makes me wonder what she does in the kitchen the rest of the time. Anyway, my whole family got really mad at me for saying anything.

She also refuses to wash fruits and veggies and then tries to feed them to me and DS.

And lastly, would it bother you if someone wouldn't stop calling your child a nickname that you really didn't like? She keeps calling him my old cats name and it sounds so funny and weird to hear him called that. And i'm not mean about it, I just nicely ask her to stop.

So what do you think. Am I being too hard on her? Thanks for reading.

Jamie, busy Mama to my sweet little O Man, loving wife to Brian, and very excited about our new addition, the J Man, here after ourh20homebirth.gif
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#2 of 23 Old 06-13-2009, 11:14 PM
 
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that's poor food handling practice any time, not just while pregnant
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#3 of 23 Old 06-13-2009, 11:17 PM
 
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#4 of 23 Old 06-13-2009, 11:17 PM
 
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I don't think you're overreacting at all.

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#5 of 23 Old 06-13-2009, 11:19 PM
 
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Not overreacting at all. That is disgusting and a fantastic way to get food poisoning.

Mama to 2 sweet gorgeous children, a 4-year-old DS and a 1-year-old DD.
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#6 of 23 Old 06-13-2009, 11:28 PM
 
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Nope, not overreacting. What a wonderful way to get food poisoning. Yuck.

And as for the nickname... IDK, thats a tough one, but I would definetly be upset if someone couldn't stop calling DS something other than his name, especially when asked nicely!!
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#7 of 23 Old 06-14-2009, 05:04 AM
 
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My husband used to do the same thing with meat or he'd cut raw meat then cut the veggies. I finally pointed out why that was a bad idea and it would make us sick and he stopped quickly.

So yes, it would bother me.

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#8 of 23 Old 06-14-2009, 08:38 AM
 
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If anything you are underreacting

Handling food in such a way is so dangerous, you could totally get food poisining.

If my mother called my kids my old cat's name I'd be sooooo annoyed and if she didn't stop after me asking her nicely, I would not be nice about it anymore, but that's just me!

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#9 of 23 Old 06-14-2009, 08:41 AM
 
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That is really bad food handling! I wouldn't eat anything she served, for fear of bacteria!

The nickname thing is a tough question. I remember reading a dear abbey column about that... wish I remembered what she said!

Happily married mom to DS (Aug 09) and two furry troublemakers.

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#10 of 23 Old 06-14-2009, 09:20 AM
 
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Well, everyone else has said what I would say about the food. No, you are not overreacting at all. If your whole family got mad at you for saying something, I would wonder why they are so invested in protecting your mom that they are willing to risk serious illness rather than ask her to use better kitchen hygiene. Re: the nickname, it's disrespectful to you for her to do that. I would talk to her privately and tell her how you feel.

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#11 of 23 Old 06-14-2009, 12:20 PM
 
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Not overreacting.

People always complain about "stomach flu" and expect to get it now and then, but with good food handling practices we never get "stomach flu" in our house. I think cross-contamination from raw meats is the main culprit.

Chai, DS (3/05) and DS (2/10)
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#12 of 23 Old 06-14-2009, 10:37 PM
 
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Not overreacting at all!! That would completely make me mistrust any food she prepares.

I would be annoyed by the nick name thing, especially if you've asked her not to do it.
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#13 of 23 Old 06-14-2009, 11:31 PM
 
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Well, I can't really avoid handling it since I do most of the cooking, but I always wash my hands immediately after touching it (and I often end up having to wash several times while preparing the food, depending on how often I have to touch the meat and then touch something else). I would definitely be upset by what your mom did.

The nickname thing would bug me too.

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#14 of 23 Old 06-15-2009, 12:36 AM
 
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I would not be okay with that.

I still have trouble with dh and the unwashed fruit though.
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#15 of 23 Old 06-15-2009, 01:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone, for letting me know i'm not just being crazy and hormonal! I think my mom and I will have to have a talk.

Jamie, busy Mama to my sweet little O Man, loving wife to Brian, and very excited about our new addition, the J Man, here after ourh20homebirth.gif
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#16 of 23 Old 06-15-2009, 01:19 PM
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*shudder* that's just asking for food poisoning, which btw, is like 10000000x worse if you're pregnant.
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#17 of 23 Old 06-15-2009, 02:39 PM
 
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No, I dont avoid raw meat. We eat meat and I cook. My dogs also eat raw meat. 1x a month, I buy 120 lbs of it, grind it, repackage it and obviously my dogs eat daily.

BUT, I am a fanatic about proper meat handling.

we have cutting boards for meat vs veggies. sponges for things that have touched raw meat (vs glasses for instance) the dogs have their own utensils & sponges, there is no touching of ANYTHING after touching meat other than water & soap. and after we prepare raw meat, the counters are bleached. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I even use 2 spatulas or whatever the flipper things are called for grilling. One for when the meat is raw and one for when its pretty much done.

oddly enough, we've never had the "stomach flu" in our house (knock wood)

as far as her calling your child a nickname you disapprove of, I'd flip too. I'd give about 3 -4 chances reminding her firmly X is his name and then ban her from seeing the child for a bit. that would get through to her.
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#18 of 23 Old 06-15-2009, 02:53 PM
 
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You and DS do not need food poisoning.
Not over reacting at all

Mommy to Petunia 11/04 Bug 10/06 Button 11/09 and  Sweetie pea 12/11 DW to J :

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#19 of 23 Old 06-15-2009, 04:21 PM
 
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My take on it would just to take over the raw meat handling or ask your husband to do it if you feel like you can't during pregnancy. Don't give her the opportunity. If she's done it this way her entire life--than she's unlikely to change now--all you can do is try to protect yourself and your kids. I think I'm a bit more relaxed than some other's around here--I am not that concerned about fruit and veggie washing--I don't think a quick rinse is all that effective and I don't scrub them.

The nickname thing though--I would be more concerned about how your child feels about the nickname. If it's not an inappropriate name, and he doesn't mind, than I would let it go. You named your child, but you can't control what other people call him, or what he chooses to call himself. If he doesn't like it, he'll let her know as he gets older.

Mama to P. born at home 10/09, and W. born in the hospital 2/13

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#20 of 23 Old 06-15-2009, 05:31 PM
 
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Ick, not overreacting on the food thing at all. I am pretty relaxed about a lot of food stuff, but raw meat (especially chicken or ground meat) I am by-the-book with, food poisoning is nothing to mess with. I think working in food service really solidified that for me, especially when cooking for more than just me.

And the nickname thing is definitely annoying. It doesn't even sound like it is a shortened version of the kid's name, which would at least be understandable.

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#21 of 23 Old 06-15-2009, 10:20 PM
 
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Agreed: not overreacting at all. Ick.

Nickname: MAKE HER STOP. That's so irritating!! My MIL used to call DD Squirt until I flipped out on her (I was having a bad day) and my mother got a lashing from calling DD Haley May. HER NAME IS NOT HALEY MAY. Her name is Haley. Her middle name is MABEL. Use it right or not at all. Sorry, having an emotional pregnant day today ...

BFARing mama to Haley (3/07) and Abigail (11/10/09)
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#22 of 23 Old 06-15-2009, 10:31 PM
 
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Food--that's just nahhhhuuuhhhstay. Hello e. coli! You are not overreacting at all.

Name--call HER a nickname you made up for her, like "Bootsy" or something equally as random. Address her by that name every time you can. Then act surprised when she asks you about it, "Oh, your name isn't Bootsy? That's the nickname I am calling you. I think it's cute." Then use that to segue into a conversation about how she should call your child the name you gave!!

This is, of course, after you've tried the direct approach, which by the sound of it probably won't work unfortunately.

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#23 of 23 Old 06-16-2009, 02:24 AM
 
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when you talk to her about the food handling have a copy of the FDA's page on safe handling of raw meat.

http://www.fsis.usda.gov/Fact_Sheets...fety/index.asp (this one says 2x not to use the same platter for raw and cooked foods.)

Point out that certain kinds of food poisoning can cause miscarriage (listeria) or preterm labor.

http://www.ask.com/bar?q=can+food+po...dpoisoning.htm

Having information for her is different than it just being your opinion that it was unsafe.

As far as the name goes, just let her know you don't like it and that you expect to have your wishes as the mother respected. How would she feel if that had been done to her when she was raising her kids?

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