Is it sad I have no idea how pregnant I am ??? I guess with three others runnung around, I just don't focus that much!
I have been barely here lately, I think I ahve that preg depression setting in. I don't feel like doing anything.
Anna--I thought about that before too....what will I do if my mom ever leaves me?? My grandmother died when my mom was a bit younger than I am now, I don't know how she handled it.
Well, I am feeling sort of crappy today. The nasuea comes and goes. Today it is here.
Hope you all are doing well....
Caroline, tomorrow it may go...... keep hoping and enjoy the moments in between. And thanks for commisserating on the mommy thing. It was silly, crying like that, but heartfelt. I love my mom so much and want my children to know her and love her too.
i guess being pregnant makes me hyper-aware of how fragile our lives are. it's pretty intense living the way we do, speeding around in cars, flying from here to there, making decisions and simply trusting that life will continue from day to day as we expect. suddenly i find myself realizing that ANYTHING could happen at any moment. Good things as well as bad things.... and everything could be different. Pretty intense. but that's life for you. Would it be as much fun any other way?
Love and kisses
I have times like that, too!
Does anyone else have strong urges to buy baby clothes?
I have indulged in shopping for tiny little adorable peices of cutesytootsy baby clothes. My older sister, loaned me loads of clothes and encouraged me to shop for more. My mother has begun sewing baby clothes for the little one! It's fun!
love and kisses
Kim, I'm sorry you're going through some rough times. Know that you're in my thoughts.
baby clothes: yes, I want to buy some things! I've been out to get a few gifts for showers and my cousin's baby and it's sooo tempting to pick up an item for myself. Pretty soon I think I may start on the diaper collection
Welcome those of you who've joined us!!
Anyone else been getting a major bloated tum?? By the end of the day, I look about 5mo. pregnant. Does you eventually stop feeling so bloated??
adventuregirl-looking forward to hearing about your appointment!
I showed up at school today to find a notice on the bulletin board: FREE CLOTH DIAPERS! A whole assortment from a mom who must be cleaning out. I tried to call right away and talk to her, but she wasn't there and her 4-year-old answered the phone (?!!?) . So I, in my audacity, took the notice off of the bulletin board, wrote on it that I NEED THEM! and put them in her mailbox. Whoopee!
Danielle - you know it, Big 10, that's the only place to get a decent sub in this town... Jo is a graduate of Carleton and swears that the ones at Hogan Bros. in Northfield are better, but she's SO wrong!
Anna, congrats on eating and enjoying it. Isn't it wonderful?!
Steph, my former LLL-leading colleague said that you should not be concerned at this point about your uneven development. It will most likely even out before the babe is born. If you're still a touch lopsided then, you can actually help even yourself out by nursing more on the smaller side. She said that most women instinctually nurse more on their left breast because it's the side your heart is on. I have a feeling that she's going to be a really helpful person to have around!!
Hugs to all - I ate donuts for you today
in fact one of the moms at our school came up to me while I was carrying bags of trash to the dumpster and put one in my mouth! She said the pregnant woman deserved an extra one. Whee!
Welcome to Lindsey!
Yesterday I ate 6 donut hole-like things called mandazi to really celebrate Fat Tuesday! My daily bloatedness is becoming permanent, probably thanks to the mandazi. Greenbeing, by the end of the day I am also looking like 5 months, then by morning I look like 12 weeks again.
I think I can feel (and see) my uterus when standing. It feels distinctly different from my new spare tire. When lying down, it seems to sink into my pelvis.
Jen, I hope you get those diapers. What a score! I'll remember the advice about nursing more on the small side. I am hoping they will even out so I can take advantage of having something to push up into a cleavage for the first time in life!
Haven't felt the urge to buy baby clothes yet only because there is really nothing I want to buy here in Tanzania, but I have been surfing around for baby joggers and am set on the super babyjogger II, which is also super spendy.
Good morning everyone!
I just had a bacon egg and cheese biscuit and it tasted so good! I hope you all had something yummy to eat this morning.
I had a total freak out afternoon yesterday. Dh takes ds to his mom's on Tuesday's - they get to see her, I don't have to and I get some baby free time. MIL lives on a lake and that has always made me nervous. I can't handle "dark water" because if baby goes under how do you ever find them again? Well, MIL had ds out on the dock - which was wet and slippery due to rain and has no rails on it. Ds was throwing bread to the ducks and went in the water with the bread. Thanks be to God he came right back up and MIL was able to grab him, but as you can imagine I about had a heart attack when Dh told me. I have complained to him before because I don't think his mom is careful enough with ds on the dock - lets him get too far away, etc. MIL was, of course, very upset and told Dh she will hold his hand from now on on the dock. No, don't think so. That child will not step foot on that dock with her until she gets some guard rails put up.
On a good note, I have my first mw appt today and am really looking forward to catching back up with her. She and her partner have such a nice little office and you are always the only other mom there and never have to wait. Plus, the exam room is baby-proofed and filled with toys. Which is great since I have to bring ds with me.
Hope everyone has a great day!!!
Good morning to all... I'm feeling better than I was 2 days ago. I'm still on the verge of tears for most of the day but one of my girlfriends came over last night to spend the night with me. I've known her since I was 12. We ate Thai food, did facials, and watched movies. It really cheered me up. We talked until we both fell asleep. And I slept like a baby, something I hadn't done in months.
I'm also trying to be cheery about my move back to New Orleans in a couple of months. I'm going to try to buy a house in my sister's neighborhood. I hope my house here sells quickly. I just can't help but feel so sorry that the baby won't have a full-time father around. And I keep imagining myself in the delivery room without him. It's breaking my heart. I keep telling myself that I'm just happy that the baby is o.k. and hope that he or she comes out happy and healthy. That's the important thing now.
Congrats to all of you who had donuts. I'm all for indulgence these days. Well, goodbye for now. Take care!
That is so scary! Thank goodness he was fine! My husband is so lax about safety with the children, it freaks me out sometimes. The other day, he was letting them play with balloons that weren't blown up! They were blowing them up, and letting the air go back in their mouths. HELLLLOOOOOO! Can you say Heimlich Maneuver????
And we won't even discuss how he barely watches them in a mall or something to make sure they are right there with him. UGGGH.
Can you say Stranger Abduction??????
We crossed posted.
Glad you are feeling a bit better today! Take care!
Jen, I'm glad you got some donuts, so cute about getting an extra stuck right in your mouth. Awesome score on the free dipes! I hope we all are so lucky.
Sarah, a bacon egg cheese biscuit sounds so good to me right now! And I have been anti egg for weeks, I'd be happy to get over that. I don't have 2 chickens out back laying me eggs every day for nothing!
Steph and greenbeing, I have the end of the day bloat too. I tell dh its his preview.
Chrissy and Caroline, I hope you feel better soon!
Kim, I'm glad you had a great night with your girlfriend. Keep hanging in there, we are thinking of you.
No urge to buy baby clothes here, but I keep looking through catalogs and wanting diapers, slings and other baby gear. However if I were in a store near some baby clothes, I am sure the urge would be unbearable.
OK, so my appointment yesterday was awesome! I am measuring perfectly for 12 weeks, bp was great and I've gained 4 pounds since my 8 week appt in my last pregnancy. Haha, I haven't weighed myself since then (August), so I'll call that my almost pre-pg weight. I got a wonderful foot bath and massage, we talked about foods I should be trying to eat, how caloric intake will be increasing in demand now, what the baby looks like now, and how he/she is devloping. I got the best feeling from her saying that my uterus feels exactly the way she would expect it to at this stage. I am very happy, and I borrowed a book that I had to make myself put down to come here and post. My next appointment is in a month.
Oh yes, Anna, I asked my mw how they figure out there's twins if a woman didn't want any u/s. She said that your fundal height will be increased throughout the pg, once you are big enough, they can usually feel two babies from the outside, sometimes can pick up 2 hb on the fetascope. She said that more often twins are suspected and there is only one baby, than being surprised by a twin. It seems that if you don't get an u/s and they don't figure on twins, you could run into possible induction talk if you consistently measure ahead. If you decide to wait it out, maybe see how the mw you plan to see feels about induction.
Happy Hump Day!
DH just told me he has been offered a PT night job and is seriously concidering taking it. This means he will leave at 6 in the morning and probably won't be home till 10 or 11 at night. This is making me really upset.
I don't work during the day now just babysit a few nights a week.
He feels he needs more money, we don't have any extra when things are said and done. I understand the need he has to bring home more so he/we can do more things, and buy more things.
I just don't like the thought of not really being able to spend any time with him.
I feel bad that he has to take a second job. He already works really hard at his day job. I told him I don't want him to work a second job after the baby comes. I don't know how all of this will end up. He just told me about it today and he has to decide today. AHHHH.
Thanks for listening.
This has really bumed me out and made me cry and worry.
I feel for you Jodie!
My dh is working nights now (after being unemployed for quite some time) and we don't ever get to see each other. Maybe for an hour a day. We're doing it so ds doesn't have to be in daycare, so its worth it but hard.
If I can suggest something dh and I do - we keep ongoing journals to each other. We have two spiral notebooks - one is for "business", like who's paying what bill, what chores need to be done, etc and the the other is the "nice" book, where we just write notes about what we did during the day, etc. I like having it separated, because when you don't see each other enough, it is easy for the majority of your interactions to be about the work of having a house, paying bills, etc.
Plus, we do still have a fair amount of time until our little ones come. He could very well be tired of working the extra hours come September.
I know how you feel. I hope both of you can agree on a decision. Do you guys need the extra money? Some things are worth doing without but if you need to pay for important stuff like groceries/utilites, then kudos to him for busting his butt when your family needs it the most. I know it's hard when just a little extra money would make life easier. I've been in that situation, too. If he does have to take the second job, just try to make the little time you have together as special as possible.
Anyway, sorry I don't have better advice. I'm really in no position to give it seeing how I'm newly single... just wanted to let you know I'm sorry you're having a rough time.
Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. My DH is in school full time and has taken on a part-time job in the last month to help out with our financial troubles. I already work full-time from home while taking care of DS and work part-time on the weekends at a second job away from home. Honestly, it's taken a lot of pressure off of me being the only money-maker in the family and brought us closer. Though it will be rough over the next couple of months, there's light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like our relationship has really grown stronger because of the sacrifices that we're having to make at the moment.
I really like the idea of keeping journals. We take time out of our day to IM or e-mail each other. A little goes a long way!
Thank you guys for the suggestions and the feeling that I wouldn't be alone.
Talked to Dh a bit ago. After crying and thinking I decided why not get some things done that he wants done that we can't afford. Then come Sept. ditch the job. I told him that and he said,"Too late. I told the guy I wasn't interested." We have money to pay all our bills, but there really is no extra. That is what he wanted, the extra. We're going to talk about it some more and try to find some way for us both to be happy. I just wish we could have had time to talk about it.
But he said the last thing he wants is a crying wife at the house.
I think it was sort of a shock, and after it wore off and I thought a little I was ok with the idea.
Sistermama~ I really like your journal idea, I will keep that in mind in case DH does end up taking some sort of PT job.
I am also thinking of taking a PT job during the day, have been for a few months.
I'm having a nausea-free few minutes so I thought I'd jump in and say hi.
Jodie- Your dh sounds like a sweetheart!
Adventuregirl- Yay on your great appointment and perfectly growing uterus!!
Kim- I'm glad you had a good night with a good friend! Sounds like it was just what you needed. That's nice that you'll be moving home closer to lots of family.
Sistermama- I can't wait to hear about your appointment today! What a scary scary thing with your ds!!!! I'm so glad he is okay.
Steph- I forget, how much longer are you in Tanzania?
Jen- woo hoo on the cloth diaper score!!
Greenbeing- My stomoach gets really really bloated too, especially in the evenings. I can't remember when/if that goes away.
Caroline- I'm sorry you are feeling down. Maybe it will help when the sun comes out. I hope that is soon where you are!
Anna- I have been super emotional during this pregnancy too. Noah goes to preschool 2 mornings a week and they just started a charity/fundraiser that will give a cow to a poor village. Reading the one paragraph of literature about it had me bawling in my car.
Not much new here. I have an appointment on Tuesday that I am looking forward to, though I also have this fear that it will turn out that I am not really pregnant and this has all been in my head. I don't know why I feel this way since I am feeling so green all the time and my tummy looks like I am several months along. Weird.
Lovely day to all,
My prenatal yoga class turned out to be a no-go, grr! There was only one other woman who showed and she decided that she only wants to do it every other week anyway. What I really need is something to get me out of the house exercising on a regular basis. And the teacher seems more concerned about her pay than anything. *sigh*
I need a sling for my cat. She's constantly on me. Attachment animal parenting?
I have to go buy some sour cream so we can have a potato torte for dinner, YUM! For those of you who wanted the potato soup recipe, I don't know where Jo put it, but I'm still looking. If it were a little warmer today and if I had fenders on my bike, I'd ride the 2 miles to the co-op, but I don't want a wet skunk stripe up my back. Had enough of that in college.
Today is the end of week 13! I'm already excited for next week... start of a new block at school with my beloved older kids (4th and 5th grade), Tuesday weigh-in at the clinic, and Friday is not only my 30th birthday but also the day I'm telling the school community about my pregnancy, including the kids, and I hope that they're happy and not just sad that I'm not coming back for a while. They're usually pretty psyched about babies, so hopefully it will go over well.
My mom is sending me a check for my birthday so I can go out and buy maternity underwear :LOL
Kim, I'm glad you had a nice time with your friend. Those are always good for the soul.
Sarah, I'm glad Jack's ok, phew!
Be well, everyone, I'm off to the co-op -
: to Jen! If you are still sleeping at my time of writing then I get to be the first person on the globe to wish you Happy 30th BDay! Have a great one!
Adventuregirl, congrats on your excellent appointment and perfect uterus! I can't believe you got a foot massage with that!
Jodie, I hear you! My dh will have to take two paid jobs while in school full time very soon. Meanwhile I get to relax for the first time in years, but I do worry about potential drift due to one overworked and not seeing each other. The journal idea is great.
Chrissy, good to hear you had a nausea-free moment!
I have 6 more excrutiatingly hot weeks here at the equator. The rainy season has somehow paused and we are back to scorching. If I can just keep my composure and not flip out on someone who crushes me with their hot sweaty body on the bus, all will be fine. The bus conductors cram people in there to the point where we are allowed one butt cheek to the seat per person. I could take it before, but now I just feel like shaking my head and saying NO, everyone deserves to have their whole butt on the seat and not on top of someone else! That turned out to be a little vent...
Today's favorite food: cucumbers with salt.
Least favorite: oil-soaked rice with tomato sauce.
I hope your mambo are all salama (issues are peaceful, directly translated)!
I just re-read my post and realized that I spend a lot of time here complaining about the buses and heat, and I should say something positive about Dar es Salaam, Tanzania.
So I'll try:
People laugh a lot more here than at home. It makes the work atmosphere light.
I get to eat mangos, papaya and watermelon almost everyday.
If you decide to sit in the shade for hours at a time doing nothing, it is perfectly normal.
Even though I live in a city of 3.5 million, there are pigs, cows and chickens all over my neighborhood, and a calf let me touch its nose this morning.
Gecko lizards live inside our house with us.
Ok, that's enough, back to complaining...
OMG it's me again. I just realized that Jen's bday is next Friday, so yeah, I guess I really am the first one on the planet to give bday wishes...
My appt went really well yesterday. I had to take Jack with me, won't be doing that again if I can help it!! It was fun to catch up with my mw and have her be all nice to me since I'm feeling yucky. It was fun to hear the heartbeat and made #2 seem a little more real. Plus, my "prepregnancy" weight this time is about 15 pounds less than last time!!!! Still way to much, but at least I'm starting off better than last time.
I'm at work stressed out cause my auditor is here finishing our annual audit and I just want it to be done!!!!
Hope everyone is having a good Thursday - it is rainy and gloomy here and I want to go back to bed.
Gecko lizards live inside your house with you? My cats would have a field day!!! But I would loooooooove to sit under a tree for hours at a time and do nothing at all.
I have to sing, with apologies to the Waldorf Kindergarten teachers in case I'm premature or have botched the words:
Spring is coming! Spring is coming!
Birdies build your nests,
Weave together twig and feather,
each one doing their best!
The sun is FINALLY shining, today the high will be 40, tomorrow 45. And I'm sure it's not really spring, since we usually get a good snowstorm in March and sometimes in April, but it sure feels nice to take off my parka and heavy mittens and put on my red rubber rain boots for once. The only negative is that I've changed from my brown boots with 2" of heel to my red rain boots outside and Birkenstocks inside, and my back is complaining at the change in posture.
Another big score: a co-worker of Jo lent me a ton of maternity clothing, the only caveat being that I should please take care of it and give it back when I'm done with it. All I really need to do now is buy the elusive maternity underwear and I honestly think I might be set through September.
This auditor is still here!!! I had to take Jack to a kids morning out program because dh is exhausted and can't keep him. They just called me and told me he is having a "rough morning' and has been crying for over an hour!! I need to leave right now and I can't yet!!! I'm stressed out because I need him to be able to go to this program on occasion, because sometimes I need the back up care. I tried a couple of months ago to get him to go but the same thing happened. I wonder if they are not as nice there as they seem....
Crappy morning here, its payday and I got up early to pay bills and figure out how much money we have left over for food and such and the result was bad. I got upset, ended up arguing with dh, then bawling my face off for a half hour. We were getting by ok for a few months on my unemployment check and dh's income, giving me an opportunity to start my home business, but that's all gone to sh!t it seems. I have to really start looking for a job now, my biz will have to be more of a hobby until I can make some money off of it. I am upset that I will probably have to work a job I won't really like and I have to put my biz on hold, but I don't see any other way out. I hate bills, wish I wouldn't have been stupid with credit that I am still paying for years later, ugh! OK, I needed to vent. Hoping the day will get better....
Sarah, I'm glad your appt was good!
Hope all is well with everyone else.
Adventuregirl~ I hope everything works out with you all, I can totally sympothize(don't think I spelled that right).
Sistermama~ That is awesome that you heard the heartbeat!
I hope your DS is ok.
Well, I have puked for the third time. Yes, so far I'm keeping a count. I don't know why.
Had a dream last night that we are having a girl. Actually in the dream we already had her and she was 6m old. In my dream Dh said she looked just like me.
Hope everyone's day gets better.
Hey everyone! Not much new here...just getting through the day without napping seems to be a big accomplishment. I was throwing up again for a day or so, but today has been better.
I keep having bad dreams about the pregnancy..that the baby has died or it is gone....I am waking up in panic attacks because of it. I don't know why, I am really not a negative person usually.
Steph, I would love to live with animals around like that, it sounds very natural!
Anyway, I think we may have come up with some names...
Jackson William or Amelia Joanne
William was my grandfather and Joanne was my moms sister who dies when they were kids, my mom asked that we name a girl after her.
from what I've read these kinds of dreams are all about giving your sub concious mind an outlet for the thoughts we can't "deal with" conciously.
Early in my pregnancy i was having alot of bad dreams and it was very upsetting. I would drift back into sleep still thinking about the dream and it would just continue... My sister told me about something she had done to help with her pregnancy dreams. she found an object, a totem if you will, to focus good thoughts on right before bed.
Soon after this conversation a really cool thing happened. A friend of mine was in Kenya over christmas and told me she had a gift for me. I had just told her about the baby and she said when she heard my news, she finally "knew" who the gift was for. She said she didin't pick it out for anyone, but that it ended up a part of a deal struck in a marketplace in Kenya. so anyway... my gift was a small stone carving of an egg. I actually sleep holding it in my hand, it is small enough to fit inside my closed hand.
So I try to remind myself at bedtime that I can direct the energy of my sleeping mind to positive thoughts. Hey, sometimes I still have bad dreams, but I try to acknowledge them and discuss my dreams with my husband. this way I get my fears out in the open and can stop dreaming about them.
also I wonder if choosing a name of a deceased person is affecting your feelings. I am considering Jonathan as a boy's name, and that is what my mother named my brother who was still-born. sometimes that scares me a little, i don't want to jinx the kid!
anyway, food for thought.
Love and kisses
Sarah - Jack is still so very young. There is an 18+ month-old program at the Montessori school upstairs from us and there is one little one there who cries his heart out every single day. Some just aren't ready to be in the care of others yet. It's not you and it's probably not the people at the program, it's him and his readiness. I'm sure that's totally not what you wanted to hear, I'm sorry! But the away-from-home program might not be his thing right now.
I had a dream last night that I was at my mom's house and had let the cats out to play in the yard (which I wouldn't, ever, both our cats are strictly indoor cats). Sydney caught a squirrel and had blood all over her mouth and chest. I drew her a bath in the kitchen sink and proceeded to bathe her, which she did not protest at, but she stuck her face into the water and I had to forcibly remove it so she didn't drown herself.
Explain that one! It was gross!!!