|View Poll Results: Are you afraid to give birth again?|
|No, I am not afraid||248||73.81%|
|Yes, I am afraid||88||26.19%|
|Voters: 336. You may not vote on this poll|
Karen happily married mother of 3 great children (19, 6, 5), in my last semester for my Masters in Nutrition and started a six-month internship.
There are aspects of my first birth that I did not like, and I will work to pre-empt those issues this time around. I think the critical aspect is finding a birth team that you implicitly trust, who can advocate for you during delivery.
Erin, WOHM yogi mommy to DD (2005):, and DS (2010)
90% I feel really good and confident and feel like my hypnobabies is working, but other times I just don't want to do it.
(Mama to West (11/07) Mabel Kelly 10/02/09)
First birth was the easiest, because I was prepared for the worst and got to be pleasantly surprised.
Second wasn't hard, but it was harder than I expected, and I felt pretty shell-shocked for some time afterward. Especially 'cuz I'd read so much about if I do it 'right', it 'doesn't hurt'.
Now am pregnant again a bit sooner than we expected, and I'm not yet ready to deal with pain again! So, preparing for the worst. I have six more months to get ready, but, right now, I honestly am still feeling frightened!
Edited to add: My fear is just the PAIN. Not worried about things going wrong any more than usual, because I have a good history and a lot of knowledge. Just don't want PAIN. But still want a homebirth!
(4/01, 6/07, & 12/09)
Mama to : '05, '08, '10 and expecting our 3rd January '13
welcoming our new baby boy Henry (03/08/10)
I birthed DD, looked at DH and said "I can do that again!"
This time I have a wonderful midwife instead of the standard OB practice (who, by the way, were fine too...) and am delivering at a smaller community hospital set up for midwife births - actually I'm quite pumped about it!
I am anxious that my lo might come too early...my last was born just before 35 weeks with no warning signs of preterm labor.
My first birth was fine. I never felt like I couldn't do it or like I wanted painkillers or anything like that. It wasn't a walk in the park, but totally doable, and I know I can do it again, even if this one is harder than that.
Mama to three wonderful girls, H (9-2-04), A (8-23-07), and Q(4-24-11, our Easter baby). Married to D since (6-3-00).
Charlie 4 yrs old, Harry 2 yrs old & someone new March 8, 2010!
Some people are afraid of the pain...but it is the best pain you'll ever experience. Nothing like breaking your leg or something...you're birthing your child! But I've never been afraid of pain; rather I think of it as a necessity of life (character building, if you will). I was a second child though, and my sister inflicted a lot of pain on me growing up (now we're best friends ) and truly, it made me stronger. I've actually opted for no Novocaine for minor fillings because I hate that more than the little pain from drilling.
I didn't go into it expecting to "manage the pain" I just wanted to get through it. That I think is the tougher part...how to find your way through it without letting the pain get to you.
I'm an introvert and I think that served me well preparing for and experiencing labor. I didn't go into it thinking anyone else would be able to help me through it (although I wanted people there nonetheless); I just knew it was up to me. And I was able to go inside myself and experience birth very quietly and calmly. Early on though, I was expressing myself in a kind of frantic way and my midwife told me that I was using up my energy that way (she said it better than that though ) and I got it immediately and changed what I was doing and kind of found my place.
I'm really fortunate though; I was raised by a midwife turned OB nurse (who had the last three of four babies at home) in an extended family that loves birth and isn't afraid of it. I had witnessed six births (between the ages of 2 & 25) before giving birth myself. I wrote my dd's birth story for my midwife's newsletter and talk a lot more eloquently (I hope) there than I have here. I posted it for those who are interested.
I'm actually pretty calm this time, for some reason I was very anxious during my last pregnancy. I had a lot of anxiety. My baby was born with relatively little pain (until transition! ugh, then it was mighty laborious ), and no major complications. She was healthy and is now a very busy 2 year-old.
But I was worried something would happen to her...
So when my second birth came around I was again nervous but not afraid -- I expected it to be easier than my first but had no idea if that would actually be the case. It was; her birth was quick and not very painful; I felt positively triumphant afterwards.
This is my third time around and I'm really looking forward to it. There is still some "stage fright" type nervousness, but I expect the process to go well once again. And if it doesn't I'll have professionals there to help me, so there's not much point in fearing that at this stage.
I really love the birthing part of pregnancy... especially now that I have UCed and seen what birth can be like when there is no stress and I am able to go inside myself completely...
I am looking forward to giving birth again in a few months
Mama to Xavier (July 02) , Colin (Sept 04), Khéna(Nov 06) & Wilhelmina (Jan 10)
Aeona - married to super hot nerd Toby . . . mama to Grace (10) Evangeline (8) Duncan 11.14.08 , Henry (5) born at home and Ruby, 11.27.14.
We are planning our 3rd waterbirth, but hopefully it will actually happen instead of not like the first 2.
A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.
I have actually wracked my brain for any way that I can financially go to Europe (either the the UK again or my husband's country, Finland) to give birth the second time. Its just not possible...I would have to leave work a month early, and then take care of my current baby myself until I went into labor, and there's no guarantee my husband could make it there in time.
I should be able to do what my ancestors have done for all of human history until my grandma. But its daunting. I hate the US healthcare system so much right now. Even more than usual.
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
On the other hand, to a degree I'm not as afraid this round simply because I realize how out of my control birth is. How's that for a paradox?
“It is simply no longer possible to believe much of the clinical research that is published, or to rely on the judgment of trusted physicians or authoritative medical guidelines.” - Marcia Angell, M.D., former NEJM Editor Private Parts are Private Property!