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#1 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 02:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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demand is probably too strong of a word, but i am so sick and tired of everyone asking about what the baby's name will be every.single.time.i.see.them.

we haven't decided yet, but people don't seem to believe us. on top of that, i've told most folks flat out that even once we've decided we're not telling anyone until after he's born. i don't want to hear any of their comments on likes or dislikes or stupid comments like "ewww, don't name him xxx, that's the same name as my exboyfriend / the kid who picked his nose in 2nd grade / my horrible stepdad."

you should see the looks of horror i sometimes get when i say we're not going to share anyway.


you will find out his name when we're good and ready to tell you - deal with it!

mom to Andrew   born Feb 6th, already a mom to child with fur; and still missing and still wondering about the lost possibilities Mar 17, 2009
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#2 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 02:49 PM
 
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I hear ya! Very annoying.

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#3 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 02:55 PM
 
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People will always have an opinion regarding the whole baby thing- and apparently us being pg makes it perfectly okay to make sure we know their opinion.

We have both boy and girl names picked out which we have shared and no one has said much either way.... but many people seem to very upset (and are more than happy to let us know how they feel) that we haven chosen not to find out the sex of the baby before birth.

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#4 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 02:56 PM
 
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Yeah, I've gotten the same from some people- like my mother, who got into a right snit when I said we weren't telling the name.

We didn't tell anyone with our daughter. I feel like there should be some surprise- they know I'm pregnant, when I'm due, and the gender. They don't want ANYTHING to be a surprise?!? And how does it affect you if you don't know the name? It's my kid, what's it to you- really?

Some family is very understanding. Other family not so much. Really annoying.

And we still haven't 100% settled on the name anyway. I don't want to tell people as we keep adjusting and making changes.

Grace - wife to Jeff and mama to Nigella (11/08) and Orrin (01/10)- expecting a new addition (05/12)! Life is a whirlwind, but I'm learning to enjoy the ride!

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#5 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 02:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Catubodua View Post
demand is probably too strong of a word, but i am so sick and tired of everyone asking about what the baby's name will be every.single.time.i.see.them.

we haven't decided yet, but people don't seem to believe us. on top of that, i've told most folks flat out that even once we've decided we're not telling anyone until after he's born. i don't want to hear any of their comments on likes or dislikes or stupid comments like "ewww, don't name him xxx, that's the same name as my exboyfriend / the kid who picked his nose in 2nd grade / my horrible stepdad."

you should see the looks of horror i sometimes get when i say we're not going to share anyway. you will find out his name when we're good and ready to tell you - deal with it!
I can TOTALLY relate. For religious reasons, Dh and I don't prepare anything for the baby until its birth including naming the baby. People can't believe that we haven't already named the baby, or bought all kinds of equipment. As if babies automatically NEED things in the first 24 hours. A name is a VERY personal thing and don't let anyone try to take that away from you!!

Me + DH + Daniel (7/5/10)
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#6 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 03:09 PM
 
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With DS2 we got a LOT of name questions and advice around Christmas time (when we were visiting all of our friends and family) because it was right after the u/s and we knew it was a boy.
So instead of fending them off, we welcomed them to brainstorm with us. When the dreaded name question would come up, we'd say "Actually, we haven't decided on anything, have any suggestions??" Some would totally shrug it off while others found it to be great fun. We'd sit there and veto name after name or write some down that were the style we liked. I don't think we used any of the suggested names, but it was a lot of fun!

DH and I - totally winging life with our four children, DS1 (6.5yrs), DS2 (5yrs), DD (3yrs) and DS3 (1)!

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#7 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 03:11 PM
 
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We didn't tell many people especially with this one. We pick unique names and I didn't want anyone to steal them I told people that, too.

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#8 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 05:10 PM
 
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We chose to find out the gender when we were pg with my DD, but because I was afraid that people would criticize the name we picked, we also chose not to share the name. When people seemed a little bent out of shape about it, I simply said, "well, we've taken the surprise out of knowing what we're having, so to keep some element of surprise still in it for friends and family, we've decided to keep the name a secret until she's born". For some reason, no one ever gave us any problems with that explanation and even said, "Oh, what a great idea!". When my daughter Georgia was born, no one even blinked at her name because how do to scoff at a name while you're holding a gorgeous newborn? lol...

This time around, we're keeping BOTH the gender a surprise and the name under wraps!

Heather (40) DH (41) Georgia Mae b. 9/3/08, Charlotte Grace 7/17/10.
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#9 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 06:21 PM
 
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We keep names to ourselves. We also don't really name the baby beforehand. We just go into it with a list. I don't feel comfortable naming anybody I haven't met yet.

During my first pregnancy we had shared a list of names with our parents. Just a small list in random conversations. Well, my MIL got very stuck on one of the names. She was actually going to get it put on a gift. Fortunately she called us to check the spelling of the name right before she did it and we told her that it was just a name on a list. Good thing she didn't get it put on anything, we named our daughter something entirely different.

Then, once we'd named our daughter what we named her, we got so many crappy comments on some of the other names we had liked. Kind of offensive, considering that maybe we would be using one of them again sometime (as a matter of fact, there's a strong possibility that we will be using one of those names this time around).

Candace - Mama to Molly (02/06), Max (06/08) and Maggie (03/10)
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#10 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 07:15 PM
 
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Oh! I forgot about that, you reminded me Chryseis
We told MIL some names we were thinking of with DS1 and she told me a few days later "Oh, well I like **** so that's what I'm calling him!" DH and I were like WHAT?!

We didn't use that name for various other reasons and I had actually forgotten about that incident until now

DH and I - totally winging life with our four children, DS1 (6.5yrs), DS2 (5yrs), DD (3yrs) and DS3 (1)!

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#11 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 07:26 PM
 
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Didn't you know that the simple fact that you are pregnant makes your entire life history an open book for anyone to ask you any questions including street people? Seriously, I had a street person interogate me for 15 minutes about my life & pregnancy at my market stand a week or so ago.

I agree with pp that said I find more people are horrified we didnt' find out the sex. Well, a little less so this time around, but last time was awful.

Random lady I've never met before at a party: "what do you mean you don't know? What color are you going to paint the nursery?"

Me: "Oh, I think we'll wait for elementary school to brand society's gender role assignments into the baby!"
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#12 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 07:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SeattleRain View Post
I can TOTALLY relate. For religious reasons, Dh and I don't prepare anything for the baby until its birth including naming the baby. People can't believe that we haven't already named the baby, or bought all kinds of equipment. As if babies automatically NEED things in the first 24 hours. A name is a VERY personal thing and don't let anyone try to take that away from you!!
Aside from a car seat (to do the shopping) and a onesie or two and some diapers, yeah. Babies don't need anything for quite some time. Oh, you might want a sling in the first 24 hours, too, if you are going to walk around and want to use it.

My mother wouldn't stop pressing for a name with DD either. I told her several times we didn't know, even though we did and just didn't want her negative reaction. She kept insisting that we either name the baby Lydia Paige or Rebecca. What's wrong with those names? For as long as I can remember, she had made sure I knew that she wanted to name me Lydia Paige and my father's family decided I would be named after my father's maternal grandmother. (Sadly, I know that's true. Her name was Caroline Nolan. There are several Carolines and several Nolans in the family. It's annoying.) She was relentless with her insistence on using that name. And Rebecca is because that's her name. Umm, no. I'm not naming my child after you.

I feel for you. The only thing I can say is to come up with an equally annoying question and ask it every time they ask you. Ya know, the same way women grab others people's breasts or butts for randomly roughing their pregnant bellies. Something like "when are you going to cut your hair?" or something just as personal. At least that's what I would do.


Me with my baby girl Maeleigh (Oct 08) and My (step) baby girl Whren (May 05) in Heaven with her mommy .. And introducing our little JuneBug (June 10) We heard the !!!
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#13 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 07:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Catubodua View Post
demand is probably too strong of a word, but i am so sick and tired of everyone asking about what the baby's name will be every.single.time.i.see.them.

we haven't decided yet, but people don't seem to believe us. on top of that, i've told most folks flat out that even once we've decided we're not telling anyone until after he's born. i don't want to hear any of their comments on likes or dislikes or stupid comments like "ewww, don't name him xxx, that's the same name as my exboyfriend / the kid who picked his nose in 2nd grade / my horrible stepdad."

you should see the looks of horror i sometimes get when i say we're not going to share anyway.


you will find out his name when we're good and ready to tell you - deal with it!
So there with ya, mama. It really irritated me when I told our family that we weren'te telling them until the baby was born and then my mom had the audacity to say "well, what if I want to get somethign personalized for him?" Well, you're just gonna have to wait until after he's born.

With DS, we told everyone the name as soon as we found out what we were having. Nothing was kept a secret and we would like to at least give it a try to keep this a secret. It's not an unusual name by any means. In fact, it's a family name and that's one of the reasons why we wanted to keep it a secret - to surprise our FAMILY!!!

One happy mama to 1/06 , 3/10 , and married to my best friend
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#14 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 08:02 PM
 
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Yeah, we are doing the same thing. People already know its a girl, and we actually I think have narrowed down the probable first name, but not the middle yet, and think that telling the name after birth is a cool surprise and way to annouce the birth. Plus, you don't have to hear dumb comments about whatever name you choose. MIL is begging me to decide on something so that she can order a stocking with the baby's name from Pottery Barn Kids for next year when they go on clearance. She is worried they will be gone.

Jill stillheart.gif Chris (7/96), mommy to 3 sweet redheads: jumpers.gif Matthew autismribbon.gif (12/02), Michelle (8/05) and Marissa (1/10). Nursing since 2002.
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#15 of 28 Old 12-15-2009, 11:58 PM
 
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My husband and I got so tired of everyone asking about baby names too (my mom asks every single phone call!). We decided to pick a "distraction name" so people would leave us alone and now we just say "Macintosh" any time anyone asks. "Perfect for a boy or a girl! But this may change when we meet the baby face to face." And of course, it will change...

I do like Headmeister's suggestion of "we've decided to keep the name a secret until she's born." Hopefully people will respect your wishes and stop inquiring!
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#16 of 28 Old 12-16-2009, 12:08 AM
 
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With dd3, we just kept saying "Oprah."
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#17 of 28 Old 12-16-2009, 12:19 AM
 
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With dd3, we just kept saying "Oprah."
LOL - to horrify the Republican ILs, we told them if DD was a boy, we were going to name her Barack.

A, jammin.gif mama to a boy (2005) and a girl (2009)
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#18 of 28 Old 12-16-2009, 12:55 AM
 
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We also picked "distraction names" - we kept coming up with names that were very strongly one ethnicity or another - ethnicities we don't belong to, of course! Most of them got a laugh and got our point across, some made FIL irate (Privately, I was all about that!).
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#19 of 28 Old 12-16-2009, 11:03 AM
 
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SIL named her nephew the same name as the dog, then changed the dog's name. So our joke is we'll name the baby after our bird, then change the bird's name. We're not finding out the gender or sharing names (or really even set on a name until we see him or her), and it's driving everyone nuts. My favorite comment so far is, "Oh, you'll change your mind and want to find out by the end of your pregnancy."

Expecting our first in early August 2010!
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#20 of 28 Old 12-16-2009, 01:21 PM
 
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we just tell people that we are going to wait to meet the baby to choose the name- which is true as we have no names yet. But yeah- other people cna be really annoying! It is none of their business!
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#21 of 28 Old 12-16-2009, 03:38 PM
 
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It's so hard the other way around though! I always want to ask "do you know what you're going to name the baby?" when I find out a friend or family member is pregnant. I'm just curious and find it exciting, but at the same time I know how frustrating it was for me because when I was pg with DD we would share the name we chose and all we got was criticism. Of course, now that she's here, we never hear anything about the name except positive. I think it's a good idea to just keep the name a secret until the baby is born, and I try to keep that in mind to subdue my strong urges to ask when I hear about someone else being pregnant.
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#22 of 28 Old 12-16-2009, 06:25 PM
 
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With dd3, we just kept saying "Oprah."

we are going with cornholio or plaxico

A doula who married a cop & became a mama to 3 boys: G 12/22/00, my rainbow baby B 2/2/07 and L 2/10/10 my CBA2V baby, waiting for my little caboose late February 2013 & always remembering my two angels 2006 & 2012.

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#23 of 28 Old 12-16-2009, 07:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i'm so glad it's not just me!

and, we've tried the diversion names - they know our nickname for him is Kiwi, but everyone refuses to use it. which, in some ways is cool b/c it's just me and hubby calling him that.

DH has also been telling folks all sorts of crazy names when they ask - at a wedding we were at, he was using "Corneilous" (as in Yukon Corneilous from Rudolph) and he's used Dartanyan (one of the 3 muskateers). he enjoys seeing the look of horror on people's faces when they think he's serious.


and, jacie87 - i know what you mean. i find myself asking pregnant women if they know if it's a boy/girl and if they have a name picked out.

i guess i'm not upset that someone randomly asks, i'm upset at close friends and family members who ask incessently.

mom to Andrew   born Feb 6th, already a mom to child with fur; and still missing and still wondering about the lost possibilities Mar 17, 2009
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#24 of 28 Old 12-16-2009, 08:47 PM
 
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This is baby number three and everyone has gotten used to not knowing what our kids names will be, so at least they're not bugging us this time.

With our first, we had names picked out and everyone LOVED the girl name and HATED the boys name. But we didn't know the gender so it was all still a suprise (and they were all happy we had a girl )

With our second, dh wouldn't look at any names until 2 days before my due date. Then we came up with a list of 5 boys names and 4 girls names and picked it when he was born. We didn't know his gender either.

With the third, we actually found out the gender (which shocked everyone ) but again we have no clue on names. Dh is refusing to discuss them until February 1 (I'm due March 4.) I did get him to talk a little over instant messanger last week when he'd been out of town for two weeks though. We came up with a list of 12 names so not much better

Mama of three.
 
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#25 of 28 Old 12-17-2009, 01:37 AM
 
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Haha! I am dealing with this one too. It is so irritating. We did finally decide on names and I told my family that these aret he names we love and I don't want their opinion or comments. I was told I was being hormonal and overly sensitive.

I really don't know what it is but I hate the name game and the gender guessing game. People truly don't believe it when I say I could care less what I am are having as long as the baby is healthy.
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#26 of 28 Old 12-17-2009, 05:44 AM
 
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You plan on just calling him "baby" until he's ready to start school, when you will let him choose his own name! Sometimes I just have to give pushy people the most confusing answers I can! Or come up with the longest, most awful names you can think of.

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#27 of 28 Old 12-17-2009, 01:40 PM
 
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My brother told me he wanted to name ds4 name Custis Studs but noone would let him. I thought he was joking, but no.... anyway. I personally think it is hilarious and if we ever get grief about a name I throw that one in the mix too. I think the distraction names are great.....dartanyan. Actually some people might believe me on that one because my name is hidden in the middle of it.
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#28 of 28 Old 12-18-2009, 02:02 PM
 
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Mama. I know what you mean. The only good news I can share with you is that with each pregnancy it seems to get easier. We don't find out the gender of our babies, and we don't share any name possibilities either. People are too opinionated, and I don't really care if they don't like the name we picked! I even told someone recently that if she wanted to name a baby, she could have her own. It's no body's business what you name your child. Just stick to your guns, and people will eventually catch on!

P.S. A friend of mine who has had 6 once suggested to me that we pick out a boy name and a girl name that were the most awful, outdated, we-would-never-use-them, names we could think of. And when people kept asking the name, tell them the awful girl and boy choices with a very serious face. I never did it because I didn't think I could keep a straight face, but maybe it would work for you!

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