Is being 41 as bad as some people think? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 01-04-2010, 06:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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As you can see in my siggy, my boys are all grown up and my age wasn't a factor at all when they were born. Now I'm 41 and trying to get pregnant and definitely concerned about how people will perceive my "advanced maternal age." (I know DH's family will be worried for sure.) Between my age, weight (200 at 5'2") and having fibromyalgia, I know many practitioners would say I'm high risk. It's very possible that I won't be able to have a home birth because of insurance issues. Am I doomed to be tagged high risk and hounded about all sorts of tests and procedures? I'm really hoping I can use CNMs and they will be good about it. Thanks for any thoughts, advice, whatever!

Kali (pka Michelle) ~ crunchy wife to Cory (09/06) ~ Mama to H (03/90) & I (06/92)--bothnocirc.gifbf.jpg BF for 35 consecutive months ~ angel1.gif x 4

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#2 of 16 Old 01-04-2010, 12:23 PM
 
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DEAR GOD I hope it isn't as problem with people! My elsdest is 20, the following 19 . A MW can easily take care of you if you haven't had a major problems or have any now. I haven't taken any test but my last birth the glucose tolerence was highly recommended as the one I take. This time, other than the blood work done I have only had an US.

(I am homebirthing at age 40 )

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#3 of 16 Old 01-04-2010, 03:01 PM
 
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Personally, I wouldn't think much of it. Lots of women in their early 40's are having babies. There is a higher risk of Downsyndrome and other genetic conditions, but you seem to know all the risks anyways.

Mommy to DS 6/08, Expecting :
4/10 by c-section.
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#4 of 16 Old 01-04-2010, 03:07 PM
 
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I am 39 and using a homebirth midwife. We discussed all the available tests and declined them all. She was fine with our decision. We have had a few ultrasounds, but that is because I am an ultrasound tech and couldn't resist peaking from time to time . My oldest is 19, and thrilled to be having another little sister. Especially since she lives on her own and won't have to worry with being woke up in the middle of the night!

Mom to Amanda 19, Megan 7 and 1 in the oven due New Year's day
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#5 of 16 Old 01-04-2010, 04:49 PM
 
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I'm 41.. and have three kids under 6 and am expecting my 4th. Honestly, even though I'm at least 10 years older than most of my kids' friends' Moms...I don't feel super ancient or anything.

I was never tagged at high-risk because of my age... but developing GD (insulin-dependent) during all three pregnancies is what "ruined" my chances with a midwife. At least where I used to live, no midwife practices would take people with diabetes.. either Gestational, Type 1 or 2. I'm meeting with the CNM associated with my OB's practice in two weeks.. and I have no idea if she'll consider taking me on or not. Basically in their practice, usually it just depends on luck of the draw... you rotate through everybody during your prenatal visits so you hopefully have at least met the person who catches your baby when the time comes. Still, I'd love to have the CNM. She's really great.

With my last child (now 2-1/2), my OB recommended a nuchal translucency scan. It was done around 11/12 weeks.. and basically it's a way for them to help determine if the child you're carrying has T21/Down Syndrome. But other than that, I don't remember being subjected to anything else. I was asked about amnio and CVS... both of which I declined.. and it wasn't a big deal.

Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#6 of 16 Old 01-05-2010, 11:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, so much, ladies! My mind is much more at ease now. I knew I'd get some wonderful positive feedback. Congrats to each of you who is expecting!

Kali (pka Michelle) ~ crunchy wife to Cory (09/06) ~ Mama to H (03/90) & I (06/92)--bothnocirc.gifbf.jpg BF for 35 consecutive months ~ angel1.gif x 4

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#7 of 16 Old 01-05-2010, 11:32 PM
 
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My 1st was at 38. I am due with #2 now at 40 & still want to have 1 more. If you have a hard time getting pg, try accupuncture

 Wife of 10 yrs to Oaties, Mama to Bubs 08/06/08, Rizie 04/19/10 & MRae 02/02/13 & to dog2.gif

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#8 of 16 Old 01-05-2010, 11:36 PM
 
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My 1st was at 38. I am due with #2 now at 40 & still want to have 1 more. If you have a hard time getting pg, try accupuncture
I forgot to say, with my 1st I had a few drs/techs comment on my 'AMA - advanced maternal age". This time around no one has said anything - strange.

 Wife of 10 yrs to Oaties, Mama to Bubs 08/06/08, Rizie 04/19/10 & MRae 02/02/13 & to dog2.gif

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#9 of 16 Old 01-06-2010, 12:01 AM
 
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I was 40 when I had my first, and 43 when I had my second. I used midwives for my second pregnancy, and they seemed unconcerned about my age. They didn't push for any special tests or procedures. I had the typical stuff - the glucose test, etc. I also had amnio, but that was more because I wanted it than because they encouraged me to do it.
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#10 of 16 Old 01-06-2010, 02:07 AM
 
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I am 41 and pg with #3 and #4. The only reason I have been tagged high risk and am seeing an OB is due to the fact I am carrying twins. My OB talks to me at every visit about complications due to twins, and has expressed some concern that carrying them to term will be more difficult because of my height (5'0"), but has never once mentioned my age as a factor. Oh, except to imply that it was actually a good thing, because he knew I would listen to him and comply with his recommendations re: bedrest and stuff. If he is at all concerned about my age, he certainly doesn't show it.

As for interventions, I did do the NT screen, but not the bloodwork, and my OB actually advised me NOT to do the quad screen due to the high incidences of false positives with twins, and the fact that neither he nor DH and I consider Downs to be a big deal - and anything else is likely to be caught on u/s. Again, age was not a factor. ETA: amnio has not even been mentioned - I was told with my last pg is not offered by my OB's office, though they will do it if requested.

For that matter, age wasn't even a factor in me getting pg in the first place. We did have to do IVF, due to male factor issues, but I had 16 eggs, 14 of which fertilized. The embryologist said I responded like a 30 year old. And my RE was absolutely shocked when she transferred two embroys and both took. Not supposed to happen at my age, according to her.

So I say go for it, and have fun! The pregnancy itself is a bit more challenging, I am finding - I tire more easily than I did with my first or second (of course, then I wasn't chasing around after my first or second either...) and the aches and pains of middle age are a bit amplified. But I wouldn't trade it for a minute!!

Wife to Thomas, WAH mama to Sofia Rose 8/04, Ellen Marie 10/07, her twin sister Amalie Joy lost 7/07 , and Maya Grace and Hannah Miriam 4/10
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#11 of 16 Old 01-06-2010, 03:26 AM
 
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It's important to do what's right for you!

I had my first baby at 41 after a textbook pregnancy. My baby was born perfectly healthy and happy. In fact at the birth one of the midwives exclaimed that his umbilical cord was the healthiest she had ever seen. Also, I felt better prepared emotionally and physically than I would've at an earlier age.
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#12 of 16 Old 01-06-2010, 01:49 PM
 
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I just had #3 and I'm 41. My last child was born almost 8 years ago. I had most of the tests they suggest I have during the pregnancy but my age was never an issue with my OB and I'm glad for that. I always feel so alone with a baby and two older children in the home so it's nice to find threads like these that prove otherwise.

Proud *single* mom to 3 amazing kiddos
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#13 of 16 Old 01-06-2010, 11:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow, this is all so fantastic! What great reassurances. I guess I was way wrong. Back when my boys were born, I remember reading that 35+ was a big deal. Of course, now, way more women are having babies at an older age. Guess we'll see how it all goes. We've TTC off and on with no luck. Can't get any help because of my insurance, but if we can afford it I will be looking into accupuncture. I have no clue how much that would cost in the Portland, OR area.

It's "older" mama baby joy in this thread!

Kali (pka Michelle) ~ crunchy wife to Cory (09/06) ~ Mama to H (03/90) & I (06/92)--bothnocirc.gifbf.jpg BF for 35 consecutive months ~ angel1.gif x 4

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#14 of 16 Old 01-07-2010, 12:19 AM
 
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I was 43 when I got pregnant with DD. I started out with an OB and at first was tagged with the AMA thing, but gradually they all said I was their healthiest patient. I transferred to a midwife later (because the OB took induction at 40 weeks as standard procedure--not!) and never heard the AMA again
DD is a very vigorous and healthy toddler now.

Lucky wife to DH and mom to DS (10/02) and sweet DD (7/08) and DSD (3/93) and assorted animalia
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#15 of 16 Old 01-07-2010, 01:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Arianwen1174 View Post
Wow, this is all so fantastic! What great reassurances. I guess I was way wrong. Back when my boys were born, I remember reading that 35+ was a big deal. Of course, now, way more women are having babies at an older age. Guess we'll see how it all goes. We've TTC off and on with no luck. Can't get any help because of my insurance, but if we can afford it I will be looking into accupuncture. I have no clue how much that would cost in the Portland, OR area.

It's "older" mama baby joy in this thread!
Check and see if there is an acupuncture school in Portland - if memory serves I think there might be. That would be one way to get some lower cost treatment. You can also call around and see if any acupuncturists in your area have sliding scale or cash discounts. Some may.

Good luck!! I hope you have wonderful news soon!!

Wife to Thomas, WAH mama to Sofia Rose 8/04, Ellen Marie 10/07, her twin sister Amalie Joy lost 7/07 , and Maya Grace and Hannah Miriam 4/10
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#16 of 16 Old 01-07-2010, 01:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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There's the Oregon College of Oriental Medicine and the National College of Natural Medicine here, which is so fabulous. Portland rocks. DH and I want to move into the metro area so bad and will do so as soon as we can. Hope I have good news for you all soon!

Kali (pka Michelle) ~ crunchy wife to Cory (09/06) ~ Mama to H (03/90) & I (06/92)--bothnocirc.gifbf.jpg BF for 35 consecutive months ~ angel1.gif x 4

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