Okay, mama, I have a different perspective to offer and this might sound quite odd at first so bear with me! I hope this is helpful somehow...
I almost DID die during my first birth - everything went horribly wrong and we lost our daughter. It was a very very tragic day indeed and of course the aftermath was extremely sad. During that pregnancy I too was afraid of dying. I don't tell you this to freak you out: dying in childbirth is just SO so so rare - losing a child again, is extremely, extremely rare. So statistically, you are far more likely to have an easy, fast, safe and wonderful labor and delivery than a bad one with any major injury or loss of life.
Now two weeks ago, I gave birth to my second daughter via VBAC, who is beautiful and wonderful and everything I ever wanted. And I wasn't scared at all of dying - I wasn't scared of a thing. I think this was why:
Giving birth is very much about letting go of everything. You have to allow yourself to be swept up into labor land without fear. I found it easier to do that this time because I knew the only thing I had to fear was death...and last time, I learned something about death:
It is painless. Death is painless. It's not scary, when it's happening to you. Ergo, it is not something to be feared. You will never have to be preoccupied with death unless it is happening to you - and at that point, the last thing you think about is death: you think about your loved ones, about memories from your whole life. There's no pain - your body or medication takes care of that. There's no fear. It's completely out of your control anyway, like the weather, or a meteorite, or when the world is going to end. Death is nothing to fear at all.
With that knowledge in mind, and the knowledge that actually, everything was in my favor, I was able to let go, embrace labor without fear and got what I wanted for me and my baby - it was beautiful.
I don't know if that made any sense or came across in the right way: I am a little unusual probably, because of my circumstances, and am able to see things a bit differently because of what happened. I don't want to frighten you with my story, instead I want to kind of convey what I learned about death. Don't be afraid - your labor will be wonderful. Relax, let your body take over - you will know if something doesn't feel right. Trust your instincts. Trust your baby - your little one works with you to come out in labor. Trust your body. Our bodies work with our minds and they are wonderful things.
Everything is going to be okay. There really, in the end, is nothing to fear but fear itself.
*HUGE hugs* XxxX
Mama to Josie , lost 10/10/08 at 37.4 weeks .and my rainbow baby, Isobella Mai ...born 1/12/2010!Pregnant with Prairie Baby, AKA #3. Due October 17th, 2015.
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