Dealing with everyone elses gender preference. - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-09-2010, 09:46 AM
 
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Originally Posted by soso-lynn View Post
That's actually kind of cute. Make sure you put those pink booties on your baby (boy or girl) and send her a picture.
totally. i actually think it would bend her mind to see a boy great-grandbaby wearing them!

me+him for 15 yrs, welcomed our little one march 25th, 2010.

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Old 02-11-2010, 02:44 AM
 
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I'm in the same boat, so I feel your pain! I'm 17 weeks preg. with #3. We have 2 DS's already. I guess on one hand I understand that it would be cool to have a girl, b/c they ARE different, but that doesn't mean I won't be in love with a 3rd son either! The thing that really bugs me is that it's no one's business. I just want to tell people to leave me alone sometimes! Like pp said, they think they can say anything while you're preg, but then when the baby comes the comments die down. Just know that you're not alone! Hang in there; this too shall pass!

Rachael belly.gif , Daughter of the King, Wife to DHflowersforyou.gif (12-31-03), Mama to DS1blahblah.gif  (5-9-06), DS2 bouncy.gif (10-20-08), DS3 happytears.gif (7-28-10), and thankful to be expecting #4 1sttri.gif at the end of December2012.

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Old 02-11-2010, 02:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by COgirl19 View Post
I also have another theory - I think that when human eyes see a pregnant belly, the usual social filters between brain and mouth dissolve completely and their IQ drops about 20 points.
LOL! Great theory- it must be true!! Everyone has an opinion about EVERYTHING when your expecting, and they just HAVE to share it. Ugh!

Rachael belly.gif , Daughter of the King, Wife to DHflowersforyou.gif (12-31-03), Mama to DS1blahblah.gif  (5-9-06), DS2 bouncy.gif (10-20-08), DS3 happytears.gif (7-28-10), and thankful to be expecting #4 1sttri.gif at the end of December2012.

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Old 02-11-2010, 04:05 AM
 
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Jerky comments from other people-friends, family, and acquaintances alike-are why I didn't want to find out the baby's sex this pregnancy. With my last pregnancy, when we found out we were having our 3rd girl, I was flabbergasted at how many people said things like "oh that's too bad you're having another girl." Yeah, because a healthy baby is such a shame.

The only reason we found out this time, was because my husband begged me to, and we had agreed that if it were another girl, we would just tell people we weren't finding out. Actually, I ended up having an ultrasound at 15 weeks when my OB couldn't find the heartbeat when I was at an appt. by myself, and I was able to see he was a boy. If he had been a girl, I may have put my foot down about finding out, because although he never actually said anything negative about having another girl the last time around, he was upset, and I didn't want to deal with that again.

We're both in agreement that if/when we have another child, we won't be finding out, which I'm thrilled with.

jamie. crinkly (not quite crunchy) mama to 3 amazing little girls, an awesome little boy, and a baby girl making her debut at the end of this summer.

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Old 02-11-2010, 06:32 AM
 
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My mom had three girls and my sister has a girl, and my mom seems to expect that I must follow this trend. She refers to the baby as 'her' and 'she'-- "I just know it's a girl", etc. So now I kind of want to have a boy. Other than that, I really don't care, I don't know what the big freakin deal is.

People act weird around pregnant women, it's just the way it is. People are also weird about gender. I really don't understand it.

Weirdo Mama to amazing Aurelia, age 9 & Ember Roslyn, age 3!
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Old 02-11-2010, 04:03 PM
 
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I tell everyone that if this is a boy, he'll be wearing pink anyway, because that's what we've already got.

The first two grandchildren in my family were girls, and my brother and SIL are also currently expecting babies (twins, in their case). I was awfully relieved when they found out they were having boys, so what I have doesn't matter, for variety's sake. On DH's side, we're the only breeders, and I think they are pulling for a boy, but whatever. They'll take what they get.

Amy (34): mommy to DD1 (11/07) and DD2 (7/10), wife, wohm, and wannabe suburban homesteader.
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Old 02-11-2010, 06:34 PM
 
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I have 3 boys, and we're pg with baby #4. We never find out the gender beforehand. People are stupid. I heard it constantly with #3, and haven't told anyone about #4 yet, mainly for that reason. It's as if the only reason we'd have another one is to "try for a girl."

The thing is, I do know parents of boys/girls that are very open about continuing to try for the opposite gender. So, I think others assume that's what everyone wants.

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Old 02-11-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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I haven't had to deal too much with this yet. I'm pregnant with my first and everybody on my side is just thrilled at the prospect of a baby, regardless of gender. It'll be the first baby in the family, first grandbaby, first neice or nephew. My MIL, however, is rooting for a boy. My SIL has had two girls so I think my MIL just wants some variety. She's done the little girl thing, now for little boys.....I guess. (my neice is almost 9 so the baby stage is long gone) I know she'll be happy regardless and it doesn't really bug me too much but it does make me uncomfortable to have someone really rooting for a certain sex....
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Old 02-12-2010, 01:31 AM
 
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So many people have assumed I would want a girl since I have a son. Peopl think one of each would be perfect. I just tell them I will be happy with whatever, but it would make my life much easier to have another boy.
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Old 02-12-2010, 01:57 AM
 
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Well I'm pregnant with boy #4 so you can only imagine the comments I get! People ask me if I'm going to keep trying, as if the other kids are my attempt at a girl!
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Old 02-12-2010, 12:54 PM
 
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I'm seriously fretting a tiny bit about next pregnancy because MIL and FIL both have said things like, "next time it better be a girl." FIL was actually disappointed at first when we said it was a boy. (he had 3 boys) Even with this baby, people were happy when we said it was a boy, but knowing that certain people would have been ecstatic if it were a girl, just really peeves me off. It almost makes you feel like you've done something wrong. So weird.
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Old 02-12-2010, 03:50 PM
 
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I haven't read two pages of comments, but my thoughts..

Specifically I think Western societies are highly influenced by consumerism/marketing to want girls..Girls are portrayed as the shoppers, and certainly fashion trends seem to reflect that.. men's clothing changes little, and a man's wardrobe is not nearly as complex as women's.. infant clothing follows suit- boys clothes is sailor, puppy, etc, but girls' clothing is a huge assortment of flowery, polka dotted, lacy, limitless fluff.. the assumption is that if a mother doesn't get to experience this percieved limitless abandonment in regards to fulfilling some suspected need to shop that we are somehow deprived..

It is a sad state of affairs but I definitely do see a correlation with the "need to shop for girls" idea..

I have 4 sons, and I think it's true that their wardrobe options are more limited.. and less "fun"... but really babies shouldn't be about shopping fun imho.

This baby is a girl, I am getting comments like, "oh good, now you're done!" well, actually we would have been done regardless of gender, but thanks for your unwanted input.

Quote:
Originally Posted by freistms View Post
We only wanted two kiddos, so when we had two girls, everybody kept telling us we needed to have a third so we could "try for a boy." This started from the time that DD2 was a newborn. Even my MOM tried to tell us that DH "needed" a son.

So just so you know: it happens just as much with daughters as with sons. The only difference is it's all about my DH needing a son instead of all about me needing a daughter. I don't get it at all either. I think it comes from an older generation that had different priorities and needs.
All my dp EVER hoped for was girls!
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Old 02-12-2010, 03:55 PM
 
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pinoikoi: Good observation. There's definitely a lot of truth in that...especially since other cultures value boys a lot more than girls for reasons that are valuable to that culture. (ie. working/money making abilities, no need to pay a dowry, carrying on the family name, etc.) It's just a little humorous that shopping may be the value behind a female gender preference in this culture.
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Old 02-12-2010, 04:09 PM
 
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pinoikoi: Good observation. There's definitely a lot of truth in that...especially since other cultures value boys a lot more than girls for reasons that are valuable to that culture. (ie. working/money making abilities, no need to pay a dowry, carrying on the family name, etc.) It's just a little humorous that shopping may be the value behind a female gender preference in this culture.
It's too bad the gender preference for girls doesn't focus on their ability to bear life..

My father once told me that the reason he had daughters was because he could understand them- he could take them to the mall and buy them dresses and they would be happy.. now when I was a kid, I hate to say, that was true ... but as an adult the comment just rubs me the wrong way.
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Old 02-13-2010, 10:53 AM
 
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We have three girls and we get the same crap.
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