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what NOT to say to a pregnant woman...

5K views 83 replies 54 participants last post by  MaerynPearl 
#1 ·
How about this conversation I had at church this weekend:
>
"Are you having a boy?"

"Yes, actually, we are!"

"Oh...I thought so...when I had boys I always had pimples."
>

 
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#5 ·
When I was pregnant with DD we were induced. A cousin of DH's then proceeded to tell me her horrible, blood and guts, deathly painful, "why I am never having another kid" resulting in C-section induction story. Gee thanks, your kindness and support are so reassuring....

p.s.- ending up having a good birth with happy memories. So there cousin!
 
#6 ·
ohhh Mama.

With my first dd, we knew she was a girl and once someone asked me if 'it was a girl".
"Yes" I said.
"Oh I figured, you know... they steal your beauty".

WTH??? How was that supposed to be taken???



I feel your pain. I love the comeback from Austinmom.


People are ridiculous...sigh.

that said...
Congrats on your pregnancy and upcoming bitrth!!!!
 
#7 ·
heh... darn those old wives tales... but they were right with my first two and if it holds up... im having a boy this time. Cuz with DD I always felt uuuuugly and DS I felt like I looked better than I had in a long time... and this time despite that I didnt lose all the weight I wanted to prepregnancy, I feel like I look great.

With DD I got a lot of people asking me if it was twins because at 28 weeks I looked 42 weeks along lol... nope. im just naturally fat, thanks.

I have a feeling the same will happen this time... Im not even a full 12 weeks and already showing visibly to people who know me.
 
#8 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by MaerynPearl View Post
With DD I got a lot of people asking me if it was twins because at 28 weeks I looked 42 weeks along lol... nope. im just naturally fat, thanks.

I have a feeling the same will happen this time... Im not even a full 12 weeks and already showing visibly to people who know me.
ha ha.. I was at a church all you can eat pancake feed on Sunday... boy I bet they wish they hadn't told me it was all you can eat.


I think I put away about 8 pancakes...
 
#9 ·
some people.... the first comments that have bugged me this pregnancy are:

"Oh, you don't even look pregnant" --- said once I hit 9 months... !!! Of course, once I turn sideways people then take their foot out of their mouth, but really, that's just not what you say to a woman who feels huge.
 
#10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by xixstar View Post
some people.... the first comments that have bugged me this pregnancy are:

"Oh, you don't even look pregnant" --- said once I hit 9 months... !!! Of course, once I turn sideways people then take their foot out of their mouth, but really, that's just not what you say to a woman who feels huge.
I got that a lot last pregnancy too. I stayed pretty small until the very end. I felt huge, but of course to others I was 'hardly even showing'....lol. This time I've popped out way sooner, so again, I'm feeling pretty big for my norm. I was carrying about 10 extra pounds to begin with this time, so my belly really poked out right away. Feeling in that in between place, I am trying to pick close that make me look pregnant. One day a few weeks back I asked my mom, "Does this make me look pregnant, or just fat?" She said, "you just look fat." Ah, gotta love her honesty!!! LOL. Really, I kinda asked for that, and I still love her. I can always count on her for an honest opinion, but at the time it sure sucked to hear.
 
#11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by MammaB21 View Post
I got that a lot last pregnancy too. I stayed pretty small until the very end. I felt huge, but of course to others I was 'hardly even showing'....lol. This time I've popped out way sooner, so again, I'm feeling pretty big for my norm. I was carrying about 10 extra pounds to begin with this time, so my belly really poked out right away. Feeling in that in between place, I am trying to pick close that make me look pregnant. One day a few weeks back I asked my mom, "Does this make me look pregnant, or just fat?" She said, "you just look fat." Ah, gotta love her honesty!!! LOL. Really, I kinda asked for that, and I still love her. I can always count on her for an honest opinion, but at the time it sure sucked to hear.
I have two pairs of pants that fit well and look nice, so I save them for when I'm going out. Most of the time I'm either in fat pants that are too big even with my pregnant belly, or PJ bottoms. The other day I was wearing a nice outfit that fit well, and my mom said, "Wow! You should wear clothes like that more often, you actually look pregnant!"
 
#15 ·
You also shouldn't call a mom with older kids a "first time mom" even if this is her first pregnancy.

I have an almost 3 year old who came home from the hospital with us. We planned to adopt first, then try for a pregnancy later. I've been called a "first time mom" and this babe referred to as "your first baby" more times than I can count.

I usually respond with, "No, my first PREGNANCY." The good people get it, the others . . . not so much.
 
#16 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by curvyred View Post
You also shouldn't call a mom with older kids a "first time mom" even if this is her first pregnancy.

I have an almost 3 year old who came home from the hospital with us. We planned to adopt first, then try for a pregnancy later. I've been called a "first time mom" and this babe referred to as "your first baby" more times than I can count.

I usually respond with, "No, my first PREGNANCY." The good people get it, the others . . . not so much.
totally off topic but wanted to mention your name makes me laugh... as when I was pregnant with DS the forums I frequented there also had a curvyred in it that ended up having her child the same day I had mine lol
 
#17 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by xixstar View Post
some people.... the first comments that have bugged me this pregnancy are:

"Oh, you don't even look pregnant" --- said once I hit 9 months... !!! Of course, once I turn sideways people then take their foot out of their mouth, but really, that's just not what you say to a woman who feels huge.
Yeah, my favorite comment (got it from several people...including my mother in law) was:

"Oh, you're barely showing. At that point in MY pregnancy, I was out to THERE (arms outstretched).....of course, I was pretty thin."
Um....what are you trying to say????
 
#18 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by milosmomma View Post
Yeah, my favorite comment (got it from several people...including my mother in law) was:

"Oh, you're barely showing. ...
My partner got that a little too. Truth was she really didn't show that much, especially compared to most of the women in our birth class who were all within two weeks of our due date. You really had to look at her from the front to be able to tell (she always had a good figure but wasn't anorexic thin or anything before).

But I thought it funny how sometimes she'd change three or four times before we went anywhere.

"I look fat!" she'd say

"No honey, you look *pregnant* ... and you're damn sexy"

And she was. ... and still is ... :)
 
#19 ·
when i was pregnant with my dd chloe one of my dads old friends said "your probebly having a boy cos you've got a fat ar$e"
also constantly getting "haven't you had that baby yet" as early as 24 wks
 
#20 ·
I work with elderly people and I had a 90-something year old guy tell me yesterday that I look like the linebacker from the New England Patriots! He has Alzheimer's and had no clue what happened a second later despite the horrified looks on his kids faces. I just try to keep reminding myself of this
 
#21 ·
The last two pgs, my mom seemed to take great delight in telling me my butt was getting bigger. She kind of cackled when she said it, and for some reason it cracked me up. Both times I told her it was counterbalance.


But the one that got to me was this weekend when the cashier at Target, upon learning I am over 40, went on and on and ON about tests for Downs and how I am at a higher risk, yada yada yada. Even asked me about my bloodwork!
The only funny part was when she was talking about the nuchal fold test and pointed to the skin in the front of her neck, noting that they can tell by extra skin there - and she had plenty herself.
 
#22 ·
My mom told me Im showing a lot the other day... this morning I officially could not button the last pair of pants I own that I could button and just felt *FAT*

until I got to the doctors office to find out I have actually lost 6 pounds...

so obviously that isnt fat.

Just need a mantra... Im pregnant, not fat. Im pregnant, not fat.
 
#23 ·
My favorite is "I can tell you've been throwing up all morning. You're practically green." Gee, thanks. Nice to know that I look as horrid as I feel.
 
#24 ·
My grandma said to me when I was 8 months preggo and grabbing the other half of my dessert..."You don't have to eat it all, you can just throw half of it out". Thx for making me feel like a cow grandma!

And lets not forget when ppl asked me after giving my huge a body a wide eyed once over "Are you sure your not having twins?" UAV or what!!!
 
#25 ·
When I was pregnant with my third child, I walked in the main office of my job and the VERY overweight, and frankly homely, secretary said to me "OMG, you've got the mask, the acne, and the weight gain. You really do get slammed with it all don't you?" Umm...at least I have an excuse....

And then I always get the weight comments. I am fat anyway so when I'm pregnant, I get even fatter. Duh. Thanks for telling me again and again and again:p I really love it when other fat people comment. Like yesterday walking into teach my class, some random woman asked me when I was due. I told her, and she said "Wow you're really big!" She was my size and not pregnant.
 
#26 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by GreenTeaGinger61 View Post
When I was pregnant with my third child, I walked in the main office of my job and the VERY overweight, and frankly homely, secretary said to me "OMG, you've got the mask, the acne, and the weight gain. You really do get slammed with it all don't you?" Umm...at least I have an excuse....
How do people let things like that come out of their mouths? wow

When I saw my dad a few weeks ago (I'm 36+wks now) he freaked out "Look at your face! Oh my god. You look like you're about to pop"
The look on my mom's face told me she was on the verge of slapping him. He is very sweet and I love him dearly but there was just something about seeing his daughter soo pregnant that turned his brain inside out for most of the week that I was visiting.

Also, a clerk at ACE hardware asked me if I was going to make it out of the store the other day.

I think very pregnant women kind of scare people because they really think that they might have to witness a birth at any moment.
 
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