When should my mom fly out? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 03-06-2010, 03:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi
This is my second baby and my mom is going to fly out to watch my older DD while I am in labor at the hospital and then stay for a few weeks after the birth. She can only be here a month. My due date is June 21. What do you think would be better 1 week before and 3 weeks after or 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after? Just wondering what others think.
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#2 of 11 Old 03-06-2010, 10:38 AM
 
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It's hard to say. You really can't know when the baby is going to come. Is there anyone else available to watch your daughter while you're in labor if your mom isn't there? When was your last baby born? My first two were born at 37 weeks but my third was 39 weeks and a few days, so it's really hard to say though all of mine have been born before my due date, so far anyway. If at all possible, I would see if you can make other arrangements for your daughter (though I understand that can be very difficult) and just have your mom fly out when you are in labor or just after the birth so she can help you when you are newly postpartum.
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#3 of 11 Old 03-06-2010, 10:55 AM
 
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Yeah, that seems kinda hard to schedule. My mom lives 800 miles away and I would love to have her here to watch DS when I go into labor. She would be my #1 pick, but there just isnt any way to make that happen. DS came at 36 weeks, birth is unpredictable. It would be a shame to have your mom come out 2 weeks early, and then you be late or something, and only have her for a week with baby. Could she fly out when you go into labor? That's what my mom did, and will probably do this time. She didnt get here till after ds was born, so I think if I were you I would still find other arrangments for your daughter.
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#4 of 11 Old 03-06-2010, 01:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My last baby was late and I had to be induced. I was in the hospital for 3 days. I don't really know who else could watch her. She has had the occasional babysitter but not someone really consistent. I think I should go for later rather than earlier too. I really need her there post partum as DH will be working all the time.
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#5 of 11 Old 03-06-2010, 01:46 PM
 
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Last time, my mom got the cheapest ticket she could find to fly out a week after my due date. That allowed some wiggle room for "change fees" and she ended up flying out for just $100 more at a moments notice when I had an unexpected c-section at 43 weeks and DH had to teach the next day. It was still a good deal for a ticket for her.

I don't know if, financially, this is feasible for your mom, but it worked great for us, so that she was able to be here and feel useful her whole time here.

S, mama to boy M(6/07) and baby girl R(7/10). We do all the good natural family living stuff!
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#6 of 11 Old 03-06-2010, 02:13 PM
 
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Well, what we're doing this time is having my mom come in a few days after my EDD (most convenient for her) but she's also willing to drop stuff and come when I go into labor if that happens before our 'plan'. As back up we also have my sister who's just a few hours away, and dh's local family who, however, are not really able to be flexible about dropping activities or jobs to help out. My 3 year old dd was late and I was induced with her, so we're hoping this works out okay - though you never know. I'd definitely err later if your dh will be working alot just after the birth.
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#7 of 11 Old 03-06-2010, 02:51 PM
 
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I think I may have an answer for you...but do you live in a city where Southwest flies? If so, you can purchase a rapid awards ticket from a third party and transfer it into her name. People sell them on craiglist, and the going price is about $300 for a roundtrip ticket. Just make sure that the expiration date is within the time frame you need. Then, you can make the reservation for a certain date, and change it at any time without any problem, as long as there are seats on the plane. We have one that we are planning to use for my mom. Good luck!

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#8 of 11 Old 03-06-2010, 03:23 PM
 
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I would separate the labor babysitting from the post-baby sitting. It's just too hard to plan for something based around another person's limited vacation schedule.

In your shoes, I would arrange for someone local - good friend, sitter - to be on call for when you go into labor to watch your dd. Does she have a friend who's family would be willing to do it?

Then I'd arrange for your mom to arrive a good two weeks after your due date, thus ensuring that you will have had the baby by the time she gets there, and you will get the benefit of her taking care of your dd - instead of hanging out with her and your daughter, waiting to go into labor, which would be a waste of that valuable childcare time she's offered.

This would mean you might have to muddle through the first two weeks with a new baby without a lot of help. But on the other hand, it's those early weeks when folks are usually eager to bring food, etc. so you should be all right.
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#9 of 11 Old 03-07-2010, 02:07 AM
 
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I'm actually having a cesarean on the 24th so we are lucky to have a specific date in mind (hopefully nothing goes wrong before then, but anyway..). My mom is coming the weekend before to help me prepare, help clean and such and will stay for the week after I get home to help with the kids and stuff since DH will not be able to take off a lot for work. So..its really up to you and what works for you and her schedule. My stepdad is driving my mom, though.

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#10 of 11 Old 03-07-2010, 03:05 AM
 
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Best of luck in trying to figure out a schedule! My DD was 11 days late, and I was sure I would be late again, but my DS came ON his due date! I would probably not go closer than a week before your due date, but you run the risk of going over and having very little help afterwards. Babies are awfully hard to schedule this way! I would definitely come up with a back-up plan just in case baby is early or Mom can't stay long after because baby is late!

I have a friend who went through this but was trying to schedule her HUSBAND to be home! He had moved ahead of their family, she was coming along after baby came. He ended up coming in when she was 39 weeks, and she ended up choosing to have a repeat C-section at 40 weeks, he had to go back when she would have been 42 weeks, what ended up being two weeks post-partum. It was rough!

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#11 of 11 Old 03-07-2010, 03:07 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
I would separate the labor babysitting from the post-baby sitting. It's just too hard to plan for something based around another person's limited vacation schedule.

In your shoes, I would arrange for someone local - good friend, sitter - to be on call for when you go into labor to watch your dd. Does she have a friend who's family would be willing to do it?

Then I'd arrange for your mom to arrive a good two weeks after your due date, thus ensuring that you will have had the baby by the time she gets there, and you will get the benefit of her taking care of your dd - instead of hanging out with her and your daughter, waiting to go into labor, which would be a waste of that valuable childcare time she's offered.

This would mean you might have to muddle through the first two weeks with a new baby without a lot of help. But on the other hand, it's those early weeks when folks are usually eager to bring food, etc. so you should be all right.
Stole my post! Zinemama is the bomb with good advice.
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