A few months later another relative was having a baby shower. MIL's sister asks the same question. She was discreet about it at least.
I do think it's a rather rude question.
I think it is rude, but usually find a reply that is equally uncomfortable. I was married, had DD1, divorced, then DD2 was a huge suprise with now DH2. Our upcoming DD3 was strageically planned out in every detail. Of course since DD2 was unplanned, people ask regularly if this one was planned. Depending on the person I usually go with something like "naw...we just planned on a few drinks, but this is where it seems to land us".....or if it is a total stranger (happened twice) I usually go with "heck no, I don't even know who this one's dad is"....of something equally as uncomfortable back. Granted, I am kind of a smart mouth by nature, but if someone wants to ask that, they are going to get a reply that fits the question. DH's buddy, after a few drinks at a function we were at, leans over and asks...."so was this one an ooops too?"...I was so pissed I whispered back "yeah...I am just hoping it is [DH]'s". The jaw drop there was well worth it.
i got this question constantly with #1 (who, incidentally, was unplanned but very wanted). one friend asked, in front of my 6-year-old and 10-year-old cousins, if it was planned or if the condom broke or what. i was like...... excuuuuuse me? i did not have enough wit to react in any of the clever ways suggested here. another friend assumed that i only got married because i was pregnant and it was a surprise. not that there's anything wrong with that, but i got married in august of 06, and i got pregnant in march of 07, so i question this person's intelligence greatly. a lot of family members thought i was "too young." i was 24 when my daughter was born, but the way a lot of people acted you would think i was 14.
my in-laws sometimes ask nosy questions about whether or not we're going to have another one and when. and speaking of rudeness to TTC people, someone in the family said they were so happy we weren't going to have another baby any time soon, WHILE we were trying. i got pregnant about a year after we started TTC, and i was not feeling super awesome about approaching the year mark, so hearing someone act like it was a good idea that we weren't trying was just not cool. i'm dreading reactions this time because i know some people are going to be weird about it. bleh.
I have been asked a couple of times if we were going to get married now, but it was really obvious that it was curiosity and not mean spirited, and since I was expecting that too I just said "nope!" with a smile. In fact, my best friend got more angry about it then I did!
Loving mama to A (8/5/2010) R (1/3/2015) and DSD (16).
AP Mom to 5
The one planned pregnancy it didn't bother me a bit because I could say yes.
I shouldn't care what people think, but I guess it does bother me.
We think green! Gentle mama to 3 amazing kiddos. Recovering from religion.
LIFEschooling. Extended NAKing. Graduated cloth diaperer.
|Originally Posted by DeChRi
I think it is rude, but usually find a reply that is equally uncomfortable. I was married, had DD1, divorced, then DD2 was a huge suprise with now DH2.
Q: Were you trying?
A: haha, no, just practicing!
I think it's a rude question though because just because it's not planned doesn't mean it's not wanted, and people I think assume that if you didn't plan it, you don't want it as much as if you did plan it.
Although, one of my friends did ask me "how do you plan an accident?" and then immediately apologize that that was rude.....but, at least she knows it was an accident but something DH and I want (obviously, I am carrying it to term....).
Mama to Eleanore Rae, born April 6, 2008 & Adelaide Jane, born December 16, 2010, Cautiously expecting #3 September 10, 2013
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