Any good comebacks for rude remarks? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-14-2010, 03:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Lyndzies View Post
Look at their belly (if a woman) and respond with "and how about you? What are you having?"

*snicker*

Fight rude with rude, I say.
I use this when people say I look huge/farther along than I am.

Mom to angel baby, grew wings at 5 weeks in May '07, William, born Dec '08, and another angel who grew wings at 8w4d (lost at 11w) in Oct '10. Rachel born Feb 2012, Another angel Lost Sept '13. New bean due Nov '14!
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Old 04-14-2010, 07:11 PM
 
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Ha! I love the puppies remark.

Christian Texan Mama to Merika (5/2005), Nolyn (1/2007), Keagan (UC baby 9/2007), Four miscarried lovelies, and sweet Evangeline Rose who arrived 9/7/2010 (home/water birth).  Expecting our fifth blessing March 2012! Viva la Vegan Pregnancy, my friends! 
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Old 04-15-2010, 01:19 AM
 
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We have 3 girls... and about 2 days after the 3rd one was born, I got comments about how we needed to try again for our boy!!! Um, really? 'Cause I just gave birth here people...

And I'm still getting the comments about whether we're going to try for a boy. My response: "Since we're batting a thousand in the girl department, I think we'd be foolish to expect a boy the next time around." Usually gets a laugh and a nod of agreement. Dh always tells people that he's so out-numbered, he's sure our goldfish are girls too...

Mama to 4 girls    chicken3.gif5/05, 12/07, 9/09, 3/11   winner.jpghomeschool.gifhomebirth.jpg

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Old 04-15-2010, 01:27 AM
 
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My favorite all time comment to rudeness....... look at them like they have 2 heads, and say really confused sounding....... "Im sorry, did you just say you have a foot in your mouth?

It usually takes them a second but then it kicks in and they look all sheepish and realize they really did have a foot in their mouth Works like a charm!!!

A single mom, a student, and an aspiring midwife. Due with number 6 November 13th edd
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Old 04-15-2010, 01:53 AM
 
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I hate these comments. We have a boy and #2 due in June is a girl so I get the, "Yay, now your family is complete" or "Now your family is perfect". Only once did I even dignify such a comment with a response and I looked at the person and said, "I bet that was one of those comments that sounded better in your head than it did coming out of your mouth."
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Old 04-15-2010, 01:55 AM
 
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My favorite all time comment to rudeness....... look at them like they have 2 heads, and say really confused sounding....... "Im sorry, did you just say you have a foot in your mouth?

It usually takes them a second but then it kicks in and they look all sheepish and realize they really did have a foot in their mouth Works like a charm!!!
SUPER!

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Old 04-15-2010, 03:07 AM
 
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Try having 4 boys! We just found out baby #4 is another boy. We're stoked, but wowsa the comments. "Oh I was hoping you were going to have a girl" "Are you going to keep trying for a girl?"
I often times reply "Well since you can't order them we'll take exactly what God gives us and we're thrilled!"
I was out with the three boys a week ago and someone made some comment about "oh my goodness 3 boys! I'll be praying this one is a girl for your sake." My DS said "we're excited it's another boy!" The idiot stranger said "Wow! It must be awful to have to keep up with all those boys!" And walked away. I was at a complete loss for words. My DS looked up at me with tears in his eyes (he's 7) and said "Mom, are boys really that bad?"
Seriously! I'm going to use the "Do you realize you just said that out loud and MY SONS can hear?"

I've been working on a list for friends and family for why I think my boys are great (not that girls aren't, I just don't have any yet). I've been posting regular updates to it on facebook hoping some of them get the hint.

* Boys pee standing up, seriously, this is a huge bonus when traveling and they have to pee either on the side of the road or in a gas station bathroom.
* Most boys would rather play with cars, tractors, blocks etc and not sexist dolls that I have to worry about what kind of "message" they are sending.
* Boys clothes don't have words like "cutie pie" or "juicy" printed across the butt of their pants. I don't have to worry (much) about unwanted attention to their bodies.
* Boys clothes are pretty standard...jeans and t-shirts/flannels. I don't have to worry about exposing body parts, sexualizing them at a young age or finding a one piece bathing suit for my baby.
* They help me stay aquainted with the local ER staff as needed.
* I will never have to do my own car maintenance (not that I don't know how, with 3 boys I just won't have to do it.)

Wife to a wonderful husband, mom to 5 amazing boys, 2 m/c and Knox Cornelius our 5th son born at 15weeks 12/3/2011, Lillian Faith our 1st daughter, born at 14 weeks May 19, 2012 (Turner Syndrome). 

 
           
 
 
 
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Old 04-15-2010, 01:33 PM
 
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I got a lot of people with the "Oh, that's too bad." Last time when we found out we were having our 3rd girl. I always responded, "Yeah, a healthy baby is such a horrible thing." Then I'd walk away. Most people just stood there dumbfounded, but a few had the common sense to apologize.

That's actually why I wasn't going to find out this pregnancy, because I didn't want to deal with people's stupid remarks. Ever since my first pregnancy my inlaws have taken to introducing me to people as "the mother of their grandson" when I'm pregnant, until the point we found out the sex.

The only reason we found out this time, was because I was at a prenatal by myself at 15 weeks-the doppler wasn't picking up the heartbeat so I had a quickie U/S to see it. She asked if I wanted to know the sex, and I decided to go ahead so if it was another girl I could stick with "not finding out" at the 20 week scan, and if it was a boy (it is), I would go ahead and tell everyone, since there wouldn't be the "that's too bad" comments.

Now we get plenty of the "you're having a boy, now you can be done", but I generally just ignore people, because they're not worth the time to point out how rude they are.

jamie. crinkly (not quite crunchy) mama to 3 amazing little girls, an awesome little boy, and a baby girl making her debut at the end of this summer.

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Old 04-15-2010, 08:20 PM
 
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Then at my baby shower one of the ladies actually had the nerve to write on her card to me, "your baby is a boy." WHAT?

Lisa
oh my goodness what an ass.

Happy mama to my four girls S 8.15.02 , L 04.25.06 (gone at 36 weeks ) and L 3.10.07.And another rainbow! Baby C has arrived 10.26.10!
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Old 04-16-2010, 12:17 AM
 
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Try having 4 boys! We just found out baby #4 is another boy. We're stoked, but wowsa the comments. "Oh I was hoping you were going to have a girl" "Are you going to keep trying for a girl?"
I often times reply "Well since you can't order them we'll take exactly what God gives us and we're thrilled!"
I was out with the three boys a week ago and someone made some comment about "oh my goodness 3 boys! I'll be praying this one is a girl for your sake." My DS said "we're excited it's another boy!" The idiot stranger said "Wow! It must be awful to have to keep up with all those boys!" And walked away. I was at a complete loss for words. My DS looked up at me with tears in his eyes (he's 7) and said "Mom, are boys really that bad?"
Seriously! I'm going to use the "Do you realize you just said that out loud and MY SONS can hear?" SNIP.....
I live here too...Also expecting boy #4 and people say the RUDEST things in their earshot on a regular basis.

Boys are wonderful!!! I feel so blessed to be having another. I tell people I am working on growing my own construction company. I say estrogen is a precious and valuable element in my house, and that no matter what, I always have a boyfriend to adore me and snuggle with me, and bring me flowers...What woman wouldn't want that?!?!

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Old 04-16-2010, 01:32 AM
 
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People are crazy. We're expecting another girl, and the standard remarks are "was your DH so disapointed?" and "So maybe you'll try for three then?" Umm...pregnant lady here...working on this one. And I'm thrilled for the sista power, so they arn't hitting any sympathetic nerves.

The best thing I've come up with so far is "DH is thrilled. He always wanted to be surrounded by beautiful ladies who hang on his every word." You could maybe flip this for boys and say "Well, I always wanted to be the girl with the full dance card. I figure sons are my best bet. I'm glad it's not a girl, I don't like competition."

I thought (but didn't actually say) "Oh, it's not mine." Just to watch the expression on some stranger's face. And since I know somebody who's a surrogate, I thought that would be pretty humorous. Only works with strangers, however.

Other ideas I've had (but can't use) are:
"We'll get right on that. Any pointers?"
"Next time I'll eat more fruit, that should do the trick." (Just to confuse them)
"Girls are so catty anyway, I can barely handle having myself in the house."
"Since we didn't want to pay for a college and a wedding, we're stoked."
"We really wanted identical triplets, but decided to space them out a bit."
"I figure practice makes perfect."
"I don't really like change."
"Why don't you write that down for my baby book?"

So many fun comebacks! If only I wasn't too nice to use them.

CD'ing, homebirthing, milk making school teacher. Supporting my family on my income and trying to get out of debt in 2013!
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:33 PM
 
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I have three boys and then a little girl and I am SO sick of gender issues. I got the standard "I'm sorry" when #3 was a boy, to even some clerk at walmart asking my KIDS if they are bummed they were getting a brother, because a sister would be so much better!! UGH! I used to tell people we were trying for a baseball team and were fortunate that it wasn't co-ed.

Now I get "finally got your girl huh?" and I just give them a dumb look and say "huh?" and move on. Or just say "we were going for four of a kind, and she messed up our winning streak" and roll my eyes.

Now with #5 on the way... I don't even know what I am going to say.

Heather: Mama to my amazing boys A-14.5, C-13, & M-5.5, and my sweet girl S-2.5 and introducing our little surprise Liam Michael, born 12/28!
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Old 04-17-2010, 03:05 PM
 
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I know exactly how you feel, I had absolutely no preference as to boy or girl, but now I'm kinda glad it's a boy because I know it'll drive my MIL crazy. She actually refused to discuss boy names with me during my last pregnancy because "we don't want a boy!"
We get a lot of comments about how DH must really want a boy. Actually, DH wants another girl - he says it'll be cheaper since we already have all the clothes, etc. I'm secretly tempted to wanta boy simply because it'll piss off my MIl - all of DH's brothers have had girls and there's no one to carry on the family name. It'd tick her off to no end to have the family name carried on by me and my "spawn", as she's put it in the past...

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Old 04-17-2010, 03:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Lyndzies View Post
Look at their belly (if a woman) and respond with "and how about you? What are you having?"

*snicker*

Fight rude with rude, I say.
I love you, Lyndzies!

Somebody actually did this to me recently. I was wearing a baggy empire cut sweater, and she looked at my belly and said "are we expecting someone new soon?" I just looked at her and said..um..NO. And walked away. HA, it's fun to make THEM embarassed.

Seriously, why do people feel the need to comment? First it's "when are you getting married?" then it's "when are you having a baby?" then it's "when are you going to have another one? What are you hoping for? blah blah blah..." I'm going to be a hermit with my hubby (and our little ones?)

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Old 04-17-2010, 03:24 PM
 
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Literally 2 minutes ago, I used the "yes, we know what causes it, and we're getting damn good at it" line. One of the customers at the bookstore I work at on Saturdays (who isn't too prudish or offendable), just noticed the very large belly bump and said "Seriously?! You're knocked up again?" Mind you, this is our second child....I'm sure he was rather drunk though, and he laughed hysterically after I said my comeback...definitely a good line to use on those who aren't easily offended!

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Old 04-17-2010, 11:15 PM
 
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When we found out DD2 was a girl we had some really rude comments. I got tired of it, I LOVED the fact I was having another little girl. I ALWAYS wanted a sister when I was growing up and now my oldest would have a sister to play with. Eventually I started responding with "Actually, I think a boy would look kind of silly in my daughters dresses.." or "We are trying to totally outnumber "DH" and then we can pin him down and use him to practice our fingernail painting" or "I think Heavenly Father wouldn't appreciate you saying that" (I used this one to people at church who would make rude comments).
DH started with "Who says girls can't fish and camp?" when people would make a comment to him. Hes a Marine, I was a Marine (got out to take care of my baby) so people will make comments to him not realizing he married a Marine. Other responses were "I didn't know girls can't shoot guns, my wife is a better shot than I am." "What do you mean girls can't wrestle/do martial arts, my wife can kick my butt" etc.
I told DH I would love to have another baby and have it be a girl. My girls are so close and my oldest is asking for another sister so she has another playmate.

ETA: You could always go with them making them feel bad route. Ive lost several pregnancies so if its a family member being a jerk Ill go with "Actually, its a blessing I could carry this one to term." Which reminds them of our loses and how jerky they sound harping on something as silly as gender. Honestly, a healthy baby is a blessing no matter what gender it is.

~Heather~ Mama to Miss E (1/07), Miss A (11/08), Mr.T (2/11) and Miss A (10/12) Expecting our newest blessing sometime late Sept/early Oct.. Wife to my Marine since 11/2005
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Old 04-18-2010, 09:40 PM
 
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Love this thread!!! I too am SO sick of gender issues!!

I had a boy, a girl, two more boys and am expecting another boy. So 4 boys and 1 girl. People say THE rudest things right in front of my kids, like you've all heard from other posters, and I am sick of it!! I'm not going to be nice anymore. This is the first baby whose gender we've known before birth, so people assume we don't know. Yesterday a woman said "Oh, I hope it's a girl." and I said "It's a boy." She looked very awkward. I should've said "Why? What do you have against my boys?"

I really really like "Um, did you mean to say that outloud (in front of my kids)?" I'm going to just use that from now on. I really don't want my boys to feel bad or something or think b/c of other people's comments that I am disappointed that I have boys! And I don't want my daughter thinking she's better than her brothers or something!

I will admit, I love little girl clothes...all the dresses! That and that my daughter won't have a sister, are the only negatives. But whatever!!! I love my kids, all of them. It's so obnoxious that people don't get that!!

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Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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Old 04-18-2010, 10:03 PM
 
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My favorite response to gender comments that I read on a different thread a while ago was something like: "My happiness is not based on what's found between my baby's/children's legs."

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Old 04-19-2010, 12:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Lyndzies View Post
Look at their belly (if a woman) and respond with "and how about you? What are you having?"

*snicker*

Fight rude with rude, I say.
Heck, I think that'd be extra good if it were said to a man.

Quote:
Originally Posted by babycatcher12 View Post
I was out with the three boys a week ago and someone made some comment about "oh my goodness 3 boys! I'll be praying this one is a girl for your sake." My DS said "we're excited it's another boy!" The idiot stranger said "Wow! It must be awful to have to keep up with all those boys!" And walked away. I was at a complete loss for words. My DS looked up at me with tears in his eyes (he's 7) and said "Mom, are boys really that bad?"
Seriously! I'm going to use the "Do you realize you just said that out loud and MY SONS can hear?"
Holy crap. There's rude and then there's... stupidly cruel.

Quote:
Originally Posted by triana1326 View Post
Literally 2 minutes ago, I used the "yes, we know what causes it, and we're getting damn good at it" line.


Quote:
Originally Posted by outlier View Post
My favorite response to gender comments that I read on a different thread a while ago was something like: "My happiness is not based on what's found between my baby's/children's legs."
My mom had to use something similar when pregnant with my youngest sister (they had all girls; youngest sister was unknown sex until she was born). She was a "surprise," and people tried to console my mom by saying, "Well, at least this way you guys have a chance at getting a boy!" She said something like, "We'll love our kid whether it pees standing up or sitting down. Plumbing just isn't that big an issue for us.

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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Old 04-26-2010, 04:58 PM
 
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I am so here with you, except on the opposite side. We have two girls. Baby #3 will make an appearance at any moment. We don't know the sex but we have been bombarded with "it has to be a boy" comments. It is driving me crazy! People are so consumed with what is between the baby's legs and that is it. I am secretly almost hoping that this baby is another girl, just to show them that we would be thrilled with another girl. My friends and I attend dinner together twice a month to catch up etc. and I finally had to get pretty snarky with them to get them to shut up about this baby being a boy. I was so tired of hearing: "your DH NEEDS a boy," "you are carrying like you have a boy attached to you," "you need some testosterone in that estrogen filled house of yours," and on and on. My mom who also attends dinner with us actually pulled the other ladies aside and said we are not going to badger Lisa anymore about the sex of the baby, if you want to ask her about the pregnancy or how she is feeling that is fine but quit harping on the sex.
Then at my baby shower one of the ladies actually had the nerve to write on her card to me, "your baby is a boy." WHAT?

Lisa
Well I had my 3rd baby on April 16th. It's another GIRL!!! YEAH!!!
And the rude remarks continue. The first thing my MIL said when my DH called to tell her the baby was a girl was "well are you going to try for a boy?" Hello.. I just gave birth and all natural at that and I can tell you the last thing on my mind at that point is pushing out another baby. DH told her that we were probably done. I then called a friend of mine the next day and she said congratulations and then asked if DH was disappointed. I said no and she said oh come on even just a little bit? Umm, no why would he be disappointed with a beautiful, healthy baby girl? I can't believe people sometimes.

Lisa
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Old 04-26-2010, 09:02 PM
 
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"Are you going to try again for a girl?"

"No. We're just going to raise this one as a girl."

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Old 04-30-2010, 12:58 AM
 
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Oh, thank you, ladies, for this thread. I'm due with #2 in a few weeks and I've felt so petty that my top reasons for wanting a second boy are:

1) I don't want an avalanche of pink clothes dumped on me, and

2) MIL and crowd want it to be a girl.

MIL and her mom and sisters are just FROTHING for a girl. DH's cousin just had a boy, and they had been so determined it was a girl they were all calling it a girl, and "she". I'll be fine with a girl personally, but I'm just finding it offensive (irrational, I know, but I'm pregnant) that everyone is all opinionated about what should come out of MY uterus. It's baggage, I think, from when they were all up in my business about why I shouldn't have a homebirth. And all the other things they've been busy bodies about.

If it's a boy, I'm going to tell them I did it on purpose, that I'm building a boy band. If it's a girl, I don't know. If they gush, I might have to think of something snotty to say.
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