Are these normal pregnancy hormone related feelings? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 03:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Please don't quote me in your responses- I plan on deleting this post in time, to avoid hurting innocent people's feelings.

I'm 7 weeks pregnant with my boyfriend's baby. I met my boyfriend and was just friends 6 months ago, we began dating 2 months ago. (Important to note- my husband left me last year, and no, I'm not over him, although I'm very aware that there's no going back.)

Anyways, is this normal- I want nothing to do with my boyfriend. Absolutely NOTHING. I want him to disappear, for now or forever, I don't know, but I don't want him around right now, that's for sure. Everything he does, annoys the hell out of me. He chews very loud- SMACK, SMACK, SMACK- you can hear it from across the room, with his mouth open, food falling out, etc. He walks on his heels, very loud- THUD, THUD, THUD- I can actually feel the couch vibrating from his footsteps when I'm sitting on it. He NEVER stops talking- JABBER, JABBER, JABBER- all day long. About the same things. Over and over and over again. Enough so I just want to cover my ears and yell at him to shut up. (I'm normally a very polite person, not usually mean at all.) He talks about when we have the money, living together, buying a house together, having many more children together, and the thought of any of that, just makes me want to vomit. It's been very hot out, so he's been walking (strutting) around shirtless the last couple days, and I just don't want to see it. Sex, kissing, snuggling, I want nothing to do with. I'll humor him enough so I don't think he's caught on to what's going on yet, I've pretended to be too exhausted or feeling sick to avoid sex for the last week, but that's wearing thin- I care about him, but more like a good friend, I'm not in love with him, and apparently, I'm feeling sexually repulsed by him right now. He's a good guy- he's been doing most the cleaning of MY house and most of the walking of MY dogs, and buying me and my son groceries with HIS money, but I just don't want him around anymore. I DO want him involved in our baby's life and my son really likes him, so I'm kinda stuck, but I really don't want anything to do with him anymore. He's coming over again this weekend and I'm already dreading it. Is this normal for messed up pregnancy hormones and emotions or do I have a more serious issue going on here?

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#2 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 03:45 PM
 
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Did you feel like this before you got pregnant or are these new feelings since becoming pregnant?

Michelle ~
Mama to ~ Finnegan(10/06) ~ Samuel (7/08) ~ Henry (2/11) ~ He's here! joy.gif Baxter (11/12)

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#3 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 03:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Did you feel like this before you got pregnant or are these new feelings since becoming pregnant?
I liked him okay before, but never in love, never wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. This started a week ago, since I found out I was pregnant.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#4 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 03:51 PM
 
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I'm sorry but i wouldn't call those "normal pregnancy feelings" at all I think maybe you are realizing this isn't the person for you? Especially if you still have feelings for your ex.

In both of my experiences of pregnancy I have felt MORE in love with and wanting MORE time with Dh (being close to him as much as possible). Not saying the whole thing is perfect and rosy and i never get annoyed with him (because of course i do and he gets annoyed with me too) but most of the time we are more in love than ever.

I don't think your feelings are "normal" but i'm not saying they are wrong either.

me, dh and 2 boys = our family (oh and a cat...who is also a male...lol)
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#5 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 04:27 PM
 
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Those feelings seem normal for someone who is with someone they don't love or are in love with. Sounds like you two "need to talk".

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Mama to ~ Finnegan(10/06) ~ Samuel (7/08) ~ Henry (2/11) ~ He's here! joy.gif Baxter (11/12)

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#6 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 04:48 PM
 
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Honestly, it sounds like how I felt when I was pregnant with my first. I stuck it out through not only my entire pregnancy, but another whole year after that. More than 12 years later, I wish I had that time back. Not that I would have cut him out of our child's life, but I'd have loved to have my own life back.

It's also *exactly* what happened to my sister. Short term relationship, unexpected pregnancy, sudden loathing. She ended it before the baby was born, and he's drifted away for the most part.

I still do think it's important for children to have "intact" families. But I think it's even more important for them to have parents who are happy and whole, in and of themselves.

I absolutely recommend talking and maybe giving it some time. Then follow your gut.

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#7 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 05:08 PM
 
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It's pretty much how I feel about my husband. *shrugs* I realize it's not normal to feel that way about the man you've been married to for near on six years and have two children with. I too was never really "in love" with my husband, although I used to care for him a great deal. A lot of things have gone wrong for us in the past few years, and I think my (lack of) feelings are caused largely by resentment and lack of respect as a result of those things. Also, there has never been even a shred of physical attraction there, which tends to complicate matters further.
In your case, I don't think it's pregnancy related. In all honesty, I get a bit of a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder feeling from it. Not literally the disorder, but I think it might have to do with the fact that you have had so much to deal with in the last little while and this sense of resentment and hostility is the way in which your stress manifests itself. Does that make sense?
Either way, I feel for you, I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope that it will be temporary and will get easier for you soon!

~Iris~ Catholic mama to DD1 11/15/05 * DD2 04/28/08 * brokenheart.gif06/23/2010 * and our little rainbow DS 10/07/11 love.gif
 

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#8 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 05:23 PM
 
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I'm going to say not normal pregnancy feelings, just how you really feel about him and the situation.
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#9 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 05:40 PM
 
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I wasn't in love with my girls' father either & it became even more apparent after I got pregnant. I did not want him touching me! I realized down the road why this was...he wasn't a great guy.
I'd say your true feelings are coming out but more intensely b/c now you realize you can't just break it off.

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#10 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 06:26 PM
 
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It sounds a little bit like I felt with my first pregnancy, with dh who was a long-term boyfriend at the time. I didn't know I was pregnant at first, but we were traveling around the world and I wasn't feeling well (early 1st trimester), and EVERYTHING he did annoyed me. It doesn't sound like it's as extreme as you are feeling, but what you wrote definitely brought back some memories.

I think a big part of is was that the pregnancy was unexpected. Subconciously, for a couple of weeks, I think I knew I was pregnant (my period was really late). I was also tired, feeling kind of sick, and just really craptastically annoyed. The combination of the two left me feeling totally off center, and anxious, and unhappy about the possibility/question of being pregnant. I didn't want to have a baby at that time, and I wasn't even 100% sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I loved him, but we'd just been in a long-distance relationship for two years and I didn't feel as close to him as I'd need to feel in order to rush into a marriage.

The pregnancy ended up bringing us closer together, since it quickly became a very stressful experience for us both. We've found, over the past decade, that we get a lot closer in challenging times. We've gone on to have a wonderful, close, fulfilling marriage that I'm so thankful for. But yeah...in those first few weeks, it was not good.

If you don't love this guy, don't want to spend your life with him, then maybe it's best to work through that now. But yes, with the hormone surges of the early/mid first trimester, you might want to wait for the shock of this pregnancy to settle down. It's possible your anxiety about being pregnant, and having these be your life decisions right now, are making you tense and snappish toward someone who is non-threatening. If that's the case, then hasty action to end it all or to confront these feelings with him would not be good.

Part of the reason I think I turned on dh (again, boyfriend at the time) is because he was a safe place to vent all my anger and frustration at finding out I was pregnant. I was so desperately, inwardly unhappy about it all, and didn't know how to handle it.

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#11 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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I say wait for the second tri before making a decision and speaking about it, just because in the first tri I know how snappy I got and would rather says just get out of my life! than hey, lets give it some time... Theres so many changes going on in your body those first couple months, its totally normal to get irritable.

While I agree that you probably really dont want to be with him, I feel if you try to tell him that now you may snap on him and tell him you dont want him in the babies life even if thats not really how you feel.

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#12 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 08:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Those feelings seem normal for someone who is with someone they don't love or are in love with.
Ilove him very much as a friend. I am not in love with him. I just got an email from him, going on and on about how in love his is with me and how lucky he is to have me. This should make me happy- this makes me want to go move to Pluto or something. :-(

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I absolutely recommend talking and maybe giving it some time. Then follow your gut.
My gut says, "Oh, please, God, please don't make me spend the rest of my life with him!!!"

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It's pretty much how I feel about my husband. *shrugs* I realize it's not normal to feel that way about the man you've been married to for near on six years and have two children with. I too was never really "in love" with my husband, although I used to care for him a great deal. A lot of things have gone wrong for us in the past few years, and I think my (lack of) feelings are caused largely by resentment and lack of respect as a result of those things. Also, there has never been even a shred of physical attraction there, which tends to complicate matters further.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't want to end up like that!

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I'd say your true feelings are coming out but more intensely b/c now you realize you can't just break it off.
You may be right. If so, I'm in trouble. :-(

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Part of the reason I think I turned on dh (again, boyfriend at the time) is because he was a safe place to vent all my anger and frustration at finding out I was pregnant. I was so desperately, inwardly unhappy about it all, and didn't know how to handle it.
The pregnancy is not the problem- unplanned, but I've wanted another baby forever. He has, too. I don't even mind having a baby with him, I just don't want to be stuck with him forever!

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I say wait for the second tri before making a decision and speaking about it, just because in the first tri I know how snappy I got and would rather says just get out of my life!
Yeah.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#13 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 10:17 PM
 
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If all of that is the case, and you feel 100% sure of it, then I would not wait until the second trimester. There is no sense in stringing him along in what is probably a very emotionally invested time for him (anticipating your baby, your future life together, etc.). I think he could feel very, very betrayed if he gets through half a pregnancy with you and only THEN finds out that you've changed your mind or have been keeping these important feelings from him. You probably don't want to start out a co-parenting relationship with betrayal and anger.

I would have the talk with him sooner than later, and try. your. hardest. to keep civil, keep kind, and preserve every scrap of happiness and decency in your relationship/friendship with him while making it clear that you want this to go in a different way than he does.

Best of luck to you.

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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#14 of 25 Old 06-07-2010, 10:47 PM
 
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I have to say that I have definitely felt some extreme annoyances brought on by DH and this pregnancy was planned and we've been together for 10 years in one way or another! I have even hated my dog who was like my baby! SO ANNOYING! I have tried not to act on anything I find annoying in DH because I've noticed I tend to forget and it seems unimportant later on... there seem to be a lot of things in general that really grate on me that never did before PG.

I also have a friend in a similar situation as you- they got pregnant after dating for not too long- like 2 months max (but they had been friends many years before they got together and started dating- but then lost contact for years). They recently had their baby and while it was a tumultuous year overall it's gone from the mom hating his guts and wanting nothing to do with dad to the dad moving in and they seem to be a great couple and things are probably going to work out long term- after her initial freak out.
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#15 of 25 Old 06-08-2010, 01:39 AM
 
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Regarding my ex-husband: I knew when we'd been dating six weeks that he wasn't someone I wanted to be with forever. Right when I went to break it off, he told me he loved me and was so happy to have finally found love. So I decided to put off the inevitable breakup and ease my way out over time. Fast-forward a bit, and by the time we had known each other 6 mos., I found out I was pregnant. I still knew he wasn't "the one" for me, but now I felt guilty for bringing a child into this. So I decided we would become a family, so the baby would have a mom and dad together, which I'd never had. We got married with me secretly thinking, "Even if we divorce later, at least our child will have had an intact home for a while." Not the best way to enter into marriage, I know! I did marry him with the intention of "biting the bullet" and staying married permanently... I just wasn't 100% sure I'd be able to stick it out for a lifetime.

Over time, he began to bother me more and more... the way he walked, the way he ate, etc. Kissing him was like putting a slug in my mouth. He picked up on this struggle inside me and began pursuing me sexually all the time - like hourly! Even when we had sex twice a day he wanted more, and higher intensity. I began to feel really traumatized by it. When I ended it after 2 years of marriage, he was heartbroken and very angry. I felt terrible because he really wasn't a bad person, it was a bad match. Divorce was hell. We've barely been able to be civil ever since.

To this day, I don't know if I did the right thing marrying him. Sometimes I am glad my daughter at least had her parents together for the first 2.5 years of her life, and has photos of us all together, etc. Other times I think I should have trusted my feelings MUCH earlier and just been carefully, gently, kind but truthful. This is a hard place to be. I feel for you... good luck.

Happily married mother of DD1 (10/87), DD2 (7/08), and DD3 (8/10)
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#16 of 25 Old 06-08-2010, 10:49 AM
 
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Please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't want to end up like that!
Who does?! I keep hoping things will get better, that at some point in time I will be able to get health care here and be able to see a therapist. I neglected to mention I suffer from depression and am in the middle of a rather severe relapse, and I do believe that colors my perception significantly.
My DH is not a bad person. He is lazy and unmotivated, but he genuinely loves me and his children. He has made some poor decisions in the past which have led to a lot of problems and I seem to have a hard time letting go of the resentment. I think a good therapist would probably be able to help me a great deal, but unfortunately that is just not an option right now.

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#17 of 25 Old 06-08-2010, 02:52 PM
 
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s, Iris. Therapy rocks. It's not easy, but the rewards can be amazing. I hope you get there soon.

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#18 of 25 Old 06-08-2010, 08:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Over time, he began to bother me more and more... the way he walked, the way he ate, etc. Kissing him was like putting a slug in my mouth.
That's exactly how I feel! And I think he's picking up on it on some level, because he's been... talking like he's overly confident... in what he perceives is how wonderful he is- telling me how he's the best lover I've ever had, with the biggest... body part... and if it weren't for being so tired all the time, I'd be all over him 24/7 (ummm... actually he's the worst I've ever had, the most selfish, no rythm at all, and ummm... rather tiny... hard to stay awake during, but for other reasons besides pregnancy). And he's been telling me how much I am in love with HIM and how much I want to spend the rest of my life with HIM, etc. Also, I really don't want to hurt him- like I said before, he is a really nice guy and we did start out as good friends, but on some level, I feel like, for survival, I HAVE to keep leading him on, though perhaps unintentionally. You see, we started dating because I had very little food and very little money for food. I simply pay way more for rent than I should and don't make enough money, Section 8 Housing is closed in my area and I make exactly $200 a year more than the cutoff limit for Food Stamps. Bascially, my son and I were living off of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and buttered noodles and such, and then my friend kept coming around with food, and eventually started buying me groceries and then asked me out. I told him I wasn't ready to date, but that maybe we could, if we went slow. He's invested alot of money into us being together, and if I tell him how I've really been feeling lately, he may stop. I know it's unfair to him, please, no lectures, but you don't know what it's like to be hungry, what it's like to skip one, two, meals in a day, so your child can eat that day, and even then your child is crying because he's still hungry and you have to tell him no more today, because I've got $14 to last the next 2 1/2 weeks for food. I could do it before, wasn't easy, and it took a toll on my health, so much so that, honestly, I don't know how I should have been still fertile, but I can't do that now that I've got this little one to think about as well. And once my ex finds out I'm pregnant, he will stop alimony, and I will have less money to work with. I need to think about what's best for my son and my baby, but I feel like the scum of the earth "using" my boyfriend when I just want out. :-(

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#19 of 25 Old 06-08-2010, 08:15 PM
 
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You're still carrying his baby. Do you really think he'd drop all support of you if you gently worked through the truth with him? Just cautioning you...I think deception is a really bad way to start this life-long relationship with him. He will likely feel very, very betrayed and angry by this once he knows the truth. Whatever situation you fear right now that is justifying the deception, take a look at possible future scenarios if you take this path. Is it worth it?

Again, I suspect that he will help support you in some way, at least with food, while you are pregnant with his child. If not, I suspect that there is aid you can find/get as a pregnant woman that will help you cover the gap.

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#20 of 25 Old 06-08-2010, 08:25 PM
 
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Since you are pregnant have you looked into WIC? And when you apply for foodstamps they do take into consideration how much you pay for rent... have you tried just applying? Even if they give you only a small amount that can certainly help. I hope you find the best solution for your own sanity!
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#21 of 25 Old 06-09-2010, 02:22 AM
 
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kb444, I really feel your pain. I have always HATED feeling trapped, and it sounds like you feel very trapped by your situation. Kind of like if someone gave me a ride to a party, but then got mad at me and left me there. I wouldn't be able to enjoy the party for feeling like I was trapped there and had no choices available to me - I would immediately start trying to figure out how I was going to get home. So if even if your man is a "party," even if he is a great guy, the fact that you feel like you have no other options but to be with him may be making you want to run away.

I think this is one reason relationships with accidental pregnancies early on sometimes don't work out, even when they might have if the pregnancy didn't happen. Once you feel like you HAVe to be with the other person, it can sap the joy during a time when you should be riding high on hormones and lighthearted fun times, just getting to know each other. Suddenly the other person feels like a jail cell. At least in my experience!

BTW, I do know what its like to live on macaroni and cheese, ramen, peanut butter, etc. My ex paid only $150 a month in child support for 14 years. I really had to scrape by at times. But I didn't take advantage of WIC or food banks, etc. that could have really helped. I just felt so low already I didn't want to (pride?). Those hard times didn't last forever, things got better and I really hope they get better for you, very soon.

One last thing -- I get red flags about any man who shows up when I'm at a low point as my "rescuer", pays for stuff when I can't to make himself indispensable, talks endlessly without caring what others have to say, and especially a man who starts telling me how I feel and how he's the best thing that ever happened to me -- this truly creeps me out. It seems like an insecure, controlling man using my weakest moment to weasel in on me. You say you love him as a friend and he's a great guy... I think it is great you are giving him the benefit of the doubt but something about this situation seems like he is taking advantage. Why do I get the impression that he is insecure inside and likes you being dependent on him and is not looking for an equal partner? Just my thoughts, maybe I'm off base. Only you know for sure.

Anyway, hugs to you. Do what you can to make sure YOU have the support you need for you and your son (WIC, etc.) so you aren't trapped into being with ANY man. Love should be a choice, not a survival effort.

Happily married mother of DD1 (10/87), DD2 (7/08), and DD3 (8/10)
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#22 of 25 Old 06-09-2010, 08:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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One last thing -- I get red flags about any man who shows up when I'm at a low point as my "rescuer", pays for stuff when I can't to make himself indispensable, talks endlessly without caring what others have to say, and especially a man who starts telling me how I feel and how he's the best thing that ever happened to me -- this truly creeps me out. It seems like an insecure, controlling man using my weakest moment to weasel in on me. You say you love him as a friend and he's a great guy... I think it is great you are giving him the benefit of the doubt but something about this situation seems like he is taking advantage. Why do I get the impression that he is insecure inside and likes you being dependent on him and is not looking for an equal partner? Just my thoughts, maybe I'm off base. Only you know for sure.
Yes, this gives me red flags, also. He really is a good guy, but I was kinda sucked into this whole relationship thing (I agreed, but told him it needs to be very slow, then I agreed to something else I wasn't ready for, which got me unexpectedly pregnant, and by then, it was too late for me to back out, and he assumes that by being pregnant with his child, I'm suddenly ready for all that marriage, living together, planning a life together stuff. Even if he's completely innocent, the whole way it played out, gave me the creeps to begin with. Honestly, this is gonna sound really weird, but before we were dating, we once had a conversation where we sorta agreed to be eachother's backup plan- we both wanted kids someday- and did brush on the subject of, if we're still both single and haven't had kids with anyone else in, say, 5 years time, then we "might as well have kids together 'cause we're good enough friends to get along enough to raise kids together (he's completely MDC material when it comes to raising kids- breastfeeding, nocirc, gentle disicpline, organic feeding, babywearing, cosleeping, etc.) But that was the backup plan, with both of us going into it with the assumption that 5 years from now, I don't know if I'll still be fertile, and me going into it with the assumption that, 5 years is plenty of time to get to really, really know him and back out of the deal, if needed. There's no doubt he'll make a great dad, but by me getting pregnant NOW, he seems to think that I'm ready to jump into the 5 year plan NOW. So anyways, yes, part of the creepiness is, both of us were keeping the other around as the backup plan. In my defense, I knew it was rebound, that's why I made sure there was a long time limit on things, and I did come off of a long marriage where my husband would not allow me to have another child, even though it was the only thing I wanted- to have another child. Stupid of me? Yes, but you can see where the tempation for the backup plan came in, especially with someone else who also always wanted kids. Me getting pregnant on almost the first time we did something, while using two different kinds of birth control, when my doctor told me my chances of ever having another baby being in the best conditions being slim to none, was not on the plan!

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#23 of 25 Old 06-09-2010, 03:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You're still carrying his baby. Do you really think he'd drop all support of you if you gently worked through the truth with him? Just cautioning you...I think deception is a really bad way to start this life-long relationship with him. He will likely feel very, very betrayed and angry by this once he knows the truth. Whatever situation you fear right now that is justifying the deception, take a look at possible future scenarios if you take this path. Is it worth it.
Please don't think I enjoy lying to him or plan on keeping things this way forever! These are things I'm just realizing in the last week and a half, and don't know how much is "real feelings" and how much is "pregnancy feelings". It's not a matter of if to tell him, it's a matter of when, how to tell him, to avoid the least damage all around, with my son and my baby being first priority.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#24 of 25 Old 06-11-2010, 05:33 AM
 
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Originally Posted by kblackstone444 View Post
'cause we're good enough friends to get along enough to raise kids together (he's completely MDC material when it comes to raising kids- breastfeeding, nocirc, gentle disicpline, organic feeding, babywearing, cosleeping, etc.)
....and hes cleaning your house? feeding your kids? walking your dogs? saying he loves you? excited about baby? heck im finding him attractive!! LOL ok im kiddding!

no but in a all seriousness, i dont think those emotions sound very rational or symptom of pregnancy-especially reading all the posts you posted. yes it is normal in pregnancy to be moody & frustrated & even resentful, but you sound like it is a more serious case of youre angry your life is going the way it is & you want it changed now. like it or not, you made a bond-connection-created life with him, and at one point even discussed this as an option to do together. it sounds like now you want to take it all back after you did the deed & got what you wanted & now youre done with him? in no way to sound disrespectful, i think you need to gather your emotions (with therapy & maybe some time alone) and try not hurt this guy that seems to be thinking you had different intentions all together & is trying really hard to please you and show love for you. if you unleash all this hurtful news & feelings onto him without trying to find the real root of the problem first (why are you having a hard time with this affection & care, and with him? do you have depression etc?), you may lose a good father (maybe even a good partner) for that child forever. so far his only fault you mention is being a man and doing some manly things (well chewing is a human thing), and then showing his affection towards you. so im hoping that im wrong & maybe this is just some hormones and that you can soon see some of those great qualities in him that made yall friends in first place. or in my opinion if you decide youre done and that you made a mistake and you are going to hurt him & you dont love him or want him, then i say dont play victim, take the blame in that case. but be ready to let him love that child however he wants, and that may include loving that childs mother. what a gift? in a nice gentle way, when the time is right & maybe after the 1st trimester when hormones level out, you can say what your hoping the future can hold.

just my .2 from some random lady on MDC! i dont usually answer these posts seeking advice, but i truly wish you the best.

nicole, wife & very blessed mom of 2 fun boys '03 & '05 & sweet girl '10. 2ndtri.gifDue 1-6-13 hbac.gifwaterbirth.jpg

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#25 of 25 Old 06-11-2010, 08:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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like it or not, you made a bond-connection-created life with him, and at one point even discussed this as an option to do together. it sounds like now you want to take it all back after you did the deed & got what you wanted & now youre done with him?
That's what I'm afraid he's gonna think if I leave him! :-( We started dating on the basis that I wanted to take things really slow, because I WASN'T over my ex, and because I wasn't even sure if I wanted to date at all, and with the understanding that, if we were together after a long time and it looks like we're gonna end up together, then we would definately have kids together. But getting pregnant after dating for 2 months was not in the gameplan, and now he seems to think that my "in a few years, maybe" has turned into "right now, definately", just because I got pregnant on accident. I DO want to take it all back, but not because I'm getting a baby out of it, but because I was unsure of the relationship to begin with, and if I wasn't pregnant, I'd already seriously doubted we'd be together in six months/a years time, anyways.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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