HELP! 40, pregnant and scared! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 10-01-2010, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am 40 years old, have a 21 and 19 yr. old bio daughters. Then 7.5 yrs. ago hubby had vas. reversal and we tried for 2 years with no avail even with infertility treatments. We adopted our daughter 5.5 years ago and now after 7.5 years of unprotected sex I am shocked to find out I am pregnant! I am so scared. Mostly because I am 40 and that doesn't seem healthy to me. I am healthy however, I am vegan and live an active lifestyle so someone please reassure me this is going to be ok.

Me namaste.gif, DH teapot2.GIFmarried 24 yrs.,DD #1 treehugger.gif(89), DD #2 blahblah.gif(91), DD #3 weadopted.gifafro.jpg(05), and DD #4 baby.gif (6/11/11)

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#2 of 19 Old 10-01-2010, 12:14 PM
 
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I am 46 and just had a baby at 45. It has been wonderful wonderful wonderful. A whole new perspective and joy in life. I also have a 19 year old. Is your family close by? your older kids?

You will do great, especially since you are healthy and active... I won't say it's a piece of cake, I was very tired during my pg (but felt good other than that compared to first pg) and sometimes I think I'm a little crazy. But oh so happy.
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#3 of 19 Old 10-01-2010, 12:35 PM
 
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hmmm...I'll be 40 when #2 arrives. I hope it's okay Why wouldn't it be healthy? If you still can ovulate, I think nature knows what it is doing, for the most part.

My grandmother was 45 when she had my mom, home birth, no drugs (of course it was 1930 something, not sure what other options there were). My mom turned out okay. She just turned 74 (she had me later in life). In my family, babies after 35 seems to be normal. I didn't start having my family until 36.

I don't have older kids to compare, all I know is what I experience, and I have had no issues with my pregnancy other than bad morning sickness, which would happen I think if I was 20, 30 or 40.

Mommy to 2 beautiful girls dust.gif4/07 and babyf.gif1/11
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#4 of 19 Old 10-01-2010, 12:37 PM
 
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I am 42 and expecting our first baby at the end of November, so I am 32 weeks. So far, I have had a very easy pregnancy: no nausea, heartburn, backache, hemmorhoids, vericose veins, or anything really to complain about. Some fatigue in 1st trimester and on and off now, but that is to be expected I think. My BP is always below 100/70, I've gained about 26 pounds so far and my fundal height is "textbook" according to my midwife. I had to take the 3-hour glucose test early in my pregnancy and again at 24 weeks and passed both times. I was vegan and active before the pregnancy. Now I eat dairy and also meat occassionally and have limited my exercise to walking and yoga just to be cautious after having had 2 miscarriages.

I consider myself extremely lucky, but also think that age alone doesn't put me at greater risk and I am sure the same is true for you. Congratulations!
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#5 of 19 Old 10-01-2010, 12:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, my whole family is close by. My 19 yr. old is in college for ped. nursing. I guess I am totally shocked because we had just assumed we couldn't get preg. and that my 5 yr. old was the last one.

Me namaste.gif, DH teapot2.GIFmarried 24 yrs.,DD #1 treehugger.gif(89), DD #2 blahblah.gif(91), DD #3 weadopted.gifafro.jpg(05), and DD #4 baby.gif (6/11/11)

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#6 of 19 Old 10-01-2010, 12:54 PM
 
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What am amazing surprise! I love the miracle baby stories! My mom had my little bro at age 42 -- she did say that she found it more physically challenging than her pregnancies when she was younger and that it took her longer to bounce back. But she had no complications, delivered with a MW in a hospital, and I loved being able to be there for the birth and am so thankful for all the baby experience I got from helping out with my baby bro.

Mama to 4 girls    chicken3.gif5/05, 12/07, 9/09, 3/11   winner.jpghomeschool.gifhomebirth.jpg

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#7 of 19 Old 10-01-2010, 01:07 PM
 
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just don't skip any schedule with your doctor. So that your health and your baby's health will be monitored.
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#8 of 19 Old 10-01-2010, 01:40 PM
 
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Why wouldn't 40 be healthy? I don't think age = good health.
I know super healthy and fit 40 somethings and totally unhealthy and unfit 20 somethings.

I'm almost 40 and having #3. I'm probably in the best health of my life.

Good luck and congrats!

Michelle, Mama to ~ F (10/06) ~ S (7/08) ~ H (2/11) ~ B (11/12)
Expecting a surprise (5/15)
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#9 of 19 Old 10-01-2010, 02:38 PM
 
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I'm 46 and pregnant with my second. After being told by a very well-renowned (and expensive) RE that we couldn't get pregnant due to high FSH levels four years ago we'd given up. I had my first at 39 (my fortieth year) and he is fine, actually quite bright and loving. I'm scared too, but I also know that considering all the issues I've had this baby clearly wants to be here.

Roslyn (46) Whitney (45) Luke (5/04) (boy due 5/11) 
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#10 of 19 Old 10-01-2010, 03:58 PM
 
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I'll be 40 when this little one arrives. I never stopped to think it wouldn't be healthy. I guess it all depends on your health status, regardless of age. We tried for 2 years with this one and I actually had surgery set up to remove fibroids when we found out we were pregnant. I'm finding this pregnancy to be very tiring, but I don't feel it's all age related. For the other three I worked full time, which I honestly think was a bit easier than staying home. I have three kids who are very busy with school, sports, church, etc. I think Friday night is our only activity free night. Congratulations what a great surprise!,

~~Angie~~
mom to Alona 12, Olivia 8, Ivy 3 , angel3.gif1/19/09 & Natalia Quinn 1.10.11
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#11 of 19 Old 10-01-2010, 09:00 PM
 
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Statistically, it is having your FIRST baby after 40 that is risky. So I don't see any reason for you to worry.

Leigh, mama to Rostislav homeborn Aug 9 2007, and Oksana homeborn Feb 24 2011.
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#12 of 19 Old 10-01-2010, 10:30 PM
 
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I had my first at 40, and my second at 43. Both pregnancies went fine and both kids are healthy. Congratulations, and don't worry!
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#13 of 19 Old 10-02-2010, 01:12 AM
 
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I live in an area where it's very common to start a family in your late 30's. I have several friends who had their first baby at around age 40. My mom had my youngest brother at age 39. It's pretty common!

Laura, married to Daniel 12/16/2000
Claire b. 6/29/06 and Andrew b. 4/20/08 and #3 due 2/8/11!!
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#14 of 19 Old 10-02-2010, 02:21 PM
 
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I'm 39 and pregnant. I wouldn't worry too much. Even my crazy high-risk OB is not too worried about my age.

There are a few things - the risks for some things go up (some chromosonal defects, some complications) and for others they actually go down. When we're talking about going up we're talking about small increases, with the possible exception of some of the trisonomy defects. (Family history still outranks age on this though.) If you feel strongly about those you can get testing and genetic counselling.

I've had a rougher pregnancy than my other two, but really it's the luck of the draw. Some advice I got is that at my age it's a good idea to be a little bit more careful about being sure to take prenatal vitamins and eat properly just because it can be a bit more difficult to absorb certain nutrients.

But really it's a joy - congrats.

~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
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#15 of 19 Old 10-02-2010, 02:50 PM
 
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congrats!!

Married 16 yrs to DH, DS (3/06) x4 (11/04) (3/08) (3/09) (8/09)
DD born 9/24/2010 :
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#16 of 19 Old 10-03-2010, 05:57 PM
 
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Congratulations! It's going to be ok. Don't let your age worry you.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#17 of 19 Old 10-04-2010, 02:56 PM
 
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I'm 40 and pregnant with my 9th. In many ways I feel more vibrant and healthy now at 40 than I did with my first ones in my early 20s. I contribute it to eating healthier and exercising a lot more than I did back then. My last pregnancy, #8, was probably my easiest healthiest pregnancy of all of them. I ran and lifted weights almost daily up till the 3rd trimester, then switched to walking and swimming towards the end. I also ate really healthy and only gained 25lbs, never had any complications, and had another beautiful, problem free homebirth. I bounced back really quick and had good energy afterwards too. I honestly feel every bit as good now at 40 as I did in my 20s. I think the worst part is that I probably worry more now than I did then. My mws say that it's very typical, just because as you get older you have a tendency to not take things for granted as much. I think that's right.

Happily married, busy mom to a houseful :-)

Expecting again early Oct 2014!

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#18 of 19 Old 10-04-2010, 09:40 PM
 
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Congratulations! I'm currently 40 and pregnant, had amnio & a few structural ultrasounds, everything completely normal. We also conceived naturally and by surprise. It's culturally very normal in my area for women to have babies in their late 30's and 40's (Seattle), so it doesn't seem odd to me or look weird. However, personally, I'm very tired. I am carrying more pre-baby weight with this child than almost 6 years ago with my first, and I'm not conditioned or in shape. This pregnancy feels more difficult than the first, more exhausting. I don't feel "beautiful" as with the first. And I worry about how it's going to affect my career and finances.

But other than that, what a wonderful gift! It's another life & sibling for my first. I just shopped for a stroller and a few baby things last night for the first time in this pregnancy (now in the 6th month), and am starting to feel a modicum of excitement rather than plagued by feelings of ambivalence or shock. Maybe it's good thing that we have 9 months to adjust!
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#19 of 19 Old 12-27-2011, 08:55 AM
 
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I am so glad I found this site... I just found out on Christmas that Im pregnant and Im 40. I am very happy but like most , Im freaking out! Im scared. My oldest is 21, then 19, and youngest is 13. I totally need everyones support, Im even a bit nervous about telling my mother, friends and siblings. I already told my children and they are so happy as well as my husband. I am just scared to have a still birth or anything like that. We tried 3 years ago then gave up because we just couldnt get pregnant. Now BAM.. her comes another. Maybe its too early for me to worry , considering I would be probably only 2 months pregnant right now. thanks for reading my babble.. Much Love

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