would you name your baby a name you couldn't stand? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 12:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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the obvious answer is hell no.. of course you wouldn't. but what if your partner was absolutely adamant and in love with the name? dp wants to name our baby this hideous name and hasn't dropped it, eventhough i've told him no way a million times. he even went as far as writing me a letter today explaining the reasons why he loves this name so much and why he really wants our child to be named this name. i told him that we could use it as a middle name.. to compromise.. but this isnt good enough for him. he wants it to be the child's FIRST name. im trying as hard as i can to come around to the name, but ugh... it just isn't happening.

what would you do?

oh.. and the name is Tecumseh (pronounced, tuh-cum-suh)
ugh.. i cringe just typing it

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#2 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 12:53 PM
 
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I wouldn't and definitely not a name that could be SO easily twisted and made fun of.

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#3 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 12:54 PM
 
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No, I wouldn't budge - and I think your DH is being unreasonable expecting you to accept it. I think it's important to find a name you both love - or at least one you both can tolerate. You'd regret using it, and that's not fair to you or the baby.

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#4 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 12:58 PM
 
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I think a child with that name would be teased a lot.

If your partner can't agree to have it in the middle name slot, just remember that the mama is usually the one to fill out the birth certificate.

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#5 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 12:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by starbyfar7 View Post
the obvious answer is hell no.. of course you wouldn't. but what if your partner was absolutely adamant and in love with the name? dp wants to name our baby this hideous name and hasn't dropped it, eventhough i've told him no way a million times. he even went as far as writing me a letter today explaining the reasons why he loves this name so much and why he really wants our child to be named this name. i told him that we could use it as a middle name.. to compromise.. but this isnt good enough for him. he wants it to be the child's FIRST name. im trying as hard as i can to come around to the name, but ugh... it just isn't happening.

what would you do?

oh.. and the name is Tecumseh (pronounced, tuh-cum-suh)
ugh.. i cringe just typing it
uhm. no.

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#6 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:00 PM
 
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I wouldn't budge either...my DH has vetoed many names that I like and I feel that I need to respect his opinion, as should he with a name I dislike. If it's a name that you will really never come to like, then you simply shouldn't use it.

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#7 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:02 PM
 
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Nah. I think veto power is important with both parents

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#8 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:09 PM
 
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I think it's fair to compromise with a name that you truly HATE and put it in the middle. That's more than fair considering how much you don't like the name.

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#9 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:17 PM
 
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Not at all! That's a name that later in life could really have some nasty jokes about, too.

DH right now keeps saying he likes "Thorstin" for a boy. I'm not so sure. First of all, it's gonna be hell on a young child to pronounce the "TH" sound, and the rest I'm not keen on either. I suggested "Tristan" similar, a bit less out there (hey, we like unique names, but within reason) and easier to say for the child in younger years.

Here's hoping everyone is right and this is our girl. We won't have to worry about the name then xD We've got the perfect girl name. Saved it since DS wasn't one, lol.
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#10 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:19 PM
 
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For me it would depend on the reason he wanted it. If he liked it because he is a huge jokster and is just being weenie, no, but if it was the last name of someone who meant the world to him (i.e. Grandmother, friend who saved his life, etc.) I would budge and just come up with a nice nickname.

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#11 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:19 PM
 
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Ugh, hell no. Do your kid a favor and don't back down! I think middle name is a GENEROUS compromise.

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#12 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:23 PM
 
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Ugh, hell no. Do your kid a favor and don't back down! I think middle name is a GENEROUS compromise.
My thoughts exactly.

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#13 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:24 PM
 
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If it was a name that was fairly common and not something that could cause the child great pain in later years but I just didn't like it- I might consider giving in and letting dp name the child his way.

With the name you mentioned- h*ll no!

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#14 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:30 PM
 
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It doesn't seem he's being very respectful of your feelings.

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#15 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:31 PM
 
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Ugh, hell no. Do your kid a favor and don't back down! I think middle name is a GENEROUS compromise.
I agree completely. No one should have a child with a name they can't stand. Hated names are always thrown out here.
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#16 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:33 PM
 
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I'm in a similar boat. DH wants to name a child after his great grandfather, Merle. I personally cannot stand the name. I've dodged the bullet twice, but I dread having a third boy because I really don't like the name, and I feel guilty denying him because his great grandfather was a really good man who he was really close to, and I've named our two oldest after my grandfather and father. I figure when the time comes I'll probably just come up with a nickname for him so I don't have to say the name.

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#17 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:36 PM
 
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I think you both made the baby and it is only fair that you both agree on a name regardless of if it is a name your child will be made fun of or not.

I think you are being really accommodating by saying it is okay for a middle name.

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#18 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:42 PM
 
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i hope i don't offend somebody by saying that might be THE worst name i've ever heard...and oh the name-calling.



don't back down! write him a letter telling him why you hate it so much...

why does he like it??

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#19 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KempsMama View Post
I'm in a similar boat. DH wants to name a child after his great grandfather, Merle. I personally cannot stand the name. I've dodged the bullet twice, but I dread having a third boy because I really don't like the name, and I feel guilty denying him because his great grandfather was a really good man who he was really close to, and I've named our two oldest after my grandfather and father. I figure when the time comes I'll probably just come up with a nickname for him so I don't have to say the name.
Honestly, I think Merle is fine. Old fashioned is trendy now. Maybe offer it to your dh as a middle name at least.
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#20 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 01:57 PM
 
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This old man I know named Buffer is a John Wayne super fan. He is also a native american junkie (I say this because he has no heritage at all, he just really identifies with them and collects stuff), like with his walls covered in pictures, replicas, and things JW has signed. Its so weird.

His weiner dog is named Tecumseh.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tecumseh

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#21 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 02:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i too think i'm being the world's most generous and giving person by saying we could use it for the middle name!
veto power has been respected. i've come up with tons of names and he has shot down every single one of them and i've respected that because its important to me that we both agree on a name. but sadly, this name isn't even the worst one he's come up with. trust me, there have been others (think ancient greek mythology or african zulu names) and as a result.. we haven't been able to agree on a name yet; but for some reason even with the veto, he keeps coming back to this name.

basically, dp is a huge history buff. and he loves native american history especially. Tecumseh was a Shawnee tribe warrior/leader back in the 19th century that fought bravely against the Americans. i agree, he was truly an amazing man and the history behind the name is very beautiful. but thats pretty much where the buck stops for me. lovely guy, great legacy, great name FOR HIM.. but not my son.
but with my dp so deadset on this name.. going on about the dreams he has of naming his son Tecumseh.. i dont know how to shoot the idea way the hell down without totally depressing him

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#22 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 02:02 PM
 
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Is your husband into the general or the Native American chief? There's a lot of history in that name and I can understand why someone would like it. I think it would really depend on why he wants it. If it's for a beloved uncle or a family name I'd try to be more flexible. For instance in my husband's family all the men have the first name William, named for my husband's father. Personally, I think it's a little bit nutty and pointed out that if one of them ever gets bad credit they're all screwed. But I didn't buck him on it because it's tradition. After all, just because that's the child's first name doesn't mean you have to call him that. All those Williams in my husband's family and none of them go by William.

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#23 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 02:03 PM
 
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Is your husband from Michigan? I've never been to Tecumseh, but maybe it is a nice place.

I'm in love with a name - my grandmother's - that my husband doesn't like very much. We'll probably put it in the middle if this is a girl, but part of me knows that I'll regret that a bit. Maybe you can try to see it from his point of view. It's hard when someone has been wishing for a name for years and years. At least be understanding of your husband's disappointment.

Also, there are lots of people who end up going by their middle names, if you know what I mean... maybe yours will end up being called "T. John Doe" as an adult.

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#24 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 02:03 PM
 
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You are meeting him MORE than half way by letting him use that name (which no offense is kind of horrific) as a middle name. That is probably more than I could muster in all honesty. The fact he is pushing you and not meeting you at all anywhere in the middle, for me, would be a problem. More of a problem of the name itself. He's not respecting your feelings.

Is that a boy's name? Could you be having a girl instead? Or vice versa?

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#25 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 02:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post
This old man I know named Buffer is a John Wayne super fan. He is also a native american junkie (I say this because he has no heritage at all, he just really identifies with them and collects stuff), like with his walls covered in pictures, replicas, and things JW has signed. Its so weird.

His weiner dog is named Tecumseh.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tecumseh
hahaa! the first time he mentioned it i totally suggested we save the name for a pet! but no lol.. he didnt like that idea

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#26 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 02:08 PM
 
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I guess I'll be the outlier here and say I think it's a beautiful name and the legacy behind it is wonderful. If he feels that passionately about it I wouldn't buck him on it. I don't think he'll be picked on for it at all, most people would assume that it's either the Native American or the general and that would be that. My son has a classmate named Thor who has a sister named Electra. Frankly, I don't think it's a big deal and goodness knows I've heard worse with a lot less of a reasonable explanation.

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#27 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 02:08 PM
 
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I totally agree with others that allowing this name as a middle name is generous of you (and I also agree it's...not a name I would ever consider! I personally could not name my child a name I didn't like, I'm compromising on a name I like but think is too popular but that DH loves, and that is really as far as I would go, he's just lucky I like it despite my reservations!

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#28 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 02:10 PM
 
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i did a little google search to see if he had ever used an english name but couldn't find one - i thought, wouldn't it be cool if he was called David something in some circles?

one thing i did see was that he was named after the panther. it is possible to find a name that means panther that is bearable to you?

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#29 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 02:28 PM
 
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The more I think about this, the more sure I am that I would not be letting him anywhere near the birth certificate...

This is a tree on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing instead of the whole world. *
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#30 of 139 Old 11-04-2010, 02:43 PM
 
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Is here even AWARE of the slang word in the middle of that name? I mean kids will be kids and nicknames just happen, but setting your child up with that in his/her name is just cruel.
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