Anyway, I would like to organize a care package from the school we teach at... I figure I will put together a list of ideas for people to pick from and ask them to bring something and I will combine them all in a package and take them to her.
She is pretty mainstream in her style... so I don't think she'd get into anything to crunchy or woo-woo (if you know what I mean)... ideas that I've had so far are: gift cards to her favorite carry out/delivery restaurants, books, magazines, puzzle books, movies, a journal, some quiet toys (i.e. playdough) for her toddler, I even just thought about finding someone who might come do a Henna design on her belly (I know that's less mainstream, but she might get a kick out of it).
Do you ladies (especially the ones who have btdt with bedrest) have any other ideas that might be really neat additions to a care package?
If she were a close friend, i'd suggest that people just go over and chat with her, have a lunch date, and do some housekeeping-at least in the areas she can see from her bed Having done bedrest to some degree with all my kids, loneliness and the house around me being messy (and not being able to do anything about it) were my biggest problems. If it's not a super-close staff, some of that could be wierd. But everything you have listed sounds great...although I would suggest Floam rather than playdough for her other kid. It doesn't get stuck in hair/sheets/couch upholstry/carpet like playdough does.
The belly henna would be awesome...some pampering, some conversation for an hour or two...what's not to love?
I agree about the housecleaning help. Either professional or otherwise. If she has a laptop get her a subscription to netflix so she has things to watch. If she doesn't have a laptop see if you can get one for her to borrow. Comfy pjs and socks. Chocolate!! Lots of magazines. Gift cards to take out places are great. Babysitting if she has other kids is great too!
Bedrest is HARD. Knowing that others care will be a big help!!
I spent almost 4 months on complete bedrest and the thing I craved most was COMPANY!!! Maybe try to start a "visit" tree and line up some type of daily interaction for her.
Some other little things are lip balm, magazines (I had a hard time concentrating on books because of the stress of bedrest so magazines did a better job of keeping me occupied), freezer meals, gift cards to online retailers so she can do a little shopping, a nice, soft new blanket or pajamas or a gift card for an in-home massage.
Proud Mama to DS1 09/07 , DD 07/09 , and DS2 06/11 . Feeling more and more blessed with each day!
I second Netflix, toys for the toddler, and housecleaning. Don't forego those last two just because she's in the hospital (if she is) - the best thing I had while I was in the hospital was a box of legos under the bed, that my DS could play with when he visited. And knowing the house would be clean when I got home would have been a great comfort.
Also, if she's in the hospital, and possibly even if she isn't: try to visit during the *day* if you can. Everyone wants to visit after work, and that makes sense, but it makes the evenings really crowded. If she has a toddler at home, the end of the workday is the natural time for the toddler to visit, and she may want to be able to focus as much as possible on her kid while they can be together.
The visiting tree is a great idea! However, we are teachers, and so leaving school in the middle of the day to go visit isn't really an option.
I also think that the housekeeping idea is great... maybe I can do a $ collection and then use that to hire a maid service for her...
a in home massage
in home pedicure
ask her if she likes her pillows? possible a good sit in bed pillow thing
a bed tray, some are really nice and you can angle them to rest a book or computer on
So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!
btdt and I agree with lots of the suggestions
help with housecleaning (a service probably easier to take than friends doing it)
meals brought over
help with childcare (did I read she has a toddler to watch as well???)
visits to keep connected to the world (its really isolating)
fun little things
good for you for thinking about her!
I thought I'd just add that daily visits might be too much. Probably 2-3 visits a week would be enough. I was on bedrest for 6 weeks and was at my OB for looong periods of time twice a week. That was enough social interaction for me on those days and I just wanted to go home and rest after that. Sometimes bedrest just doesn't lend the energy to get fixed up for someone to come over. Also make sure the people call before going over. She might not feel up to company.
There is a good website called www.sidelines.org The forum there is great for moms on bedrest. Many other moms are on br too and it's really nice to be able to whine to people in the same boat!
I did bedrest with both my previous 2 pregnancies. Everything you suggested was great, and I agree especially about the magazines. I don't know what it is about bedrest and not being able to concentrate very well!! Subscription to Netflix is also very helpful.
When I was on bedrest, I did a lot of knitting, I don't know if your friend would be interested in that. I also made a Bucilla stocking (comes in a kit) for the baby.
mommy to DS (5/29/05) and DD (3/21/07) and DD #2 (5/3/11)
Expecting DD#3 around 1/2/15
Former bedrester also wanting to chime in... I definitely agree with the suggestions :)
Other things that I would have liked to have had in the hospital...
- Stuff to look at other than the walls. Pictures, posters, a plant... ANYTHING but the same crappy beige-white hospital walls and view of the gravel part of the roof would have been awesome.
- Hobby stuff. I spent the first day having my IQ lowered by daytime TV shows because I didn't bring anything to really do. Thankfully hubby brought my markers and drawing pad so I could cartoon. If your friend has portable hobbies, you could bring her supplies to do them.
- Daytime visitors. Anybody would have been nice to chat with. :)
- A journal. Bedrest can be frustrating because it is very hard for people to remain inert, immobile and unbusy. Many people think that bedrest is easy because all the person has to do is just lay there. I remember hating to have to sit still and do nothing on the naughty chair when I was a kid; bedrest is like the EPIC equivalent of the naughty chair, and having a journal to write out your thoughts, feelings an frustrations is helpful.
- An offer of a mani or pedi. It doesn't have to be professional, but it's hard to feel good about yourself when you don't think you look nice.
- Cleaning and laundry help around the house. Nothing says stress like coming home to a messy house. :P
- Microwave-able meals. If your friend has a child, her partner might be overwhelmed by having to take on child-care. Meals that feed a horde and that can be put into small portions - like lasagna and chili - can definitely help out when kiddo is hungry and cooking is too much.
- Support for my partner. While bedrest is stressful for the restee, it is also stressful for the partner who may have been thrust into a primary care-giver position. I know that my husband really could have used a friendly ear to talk to when I was stuck in the hospital.
Pagan * Grad Student * Amateur Ninja * Bibliophile * Photographer * Cyberpunk* Cooking Diva * Wife to RJ & Partner to Abeja * Mamí Valkyrie to Eiríkr (2/26/2009), Skaði (3/18/2011) and a surprise munchkin due 8-23-2012 * I love my tribe of hearts! *
well, my friend is no longer on bedrest. Her BP got to a danger point and she had to have the baby. So now she has a beautiful little girl. Went to visit them today. Will probably help out by cooking a meal when they discharge her.
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