Why do "they" say you can't feel the baby move until such-and-such time? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 12-11-2010, 05:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just curious. I swear I've been feeling little flutters since 12 weeks. I felt my first definite kicks at 17 weeks. Now, I am 18.5 weeks, and my baby is kicking all the time. I can feel it rolling around, I can feel hard lumps on the outside where the baby is, and I can see little twitches sometimes when it kicks. This is my first. According to some doctors and many websites, my baby is still too small to be felt! What's the deal? Obviously, this is not true. I wouldn't even mind if they said, "This is the average..." but it's usually not even that. Surely, I can't be the only one! 

 

(I am also 100% sure of my dates, as I had IUI, so there's no way I'm further along than I think.)

 

I guess I just don't understand why "they" are so insistent that you can't feel movements early?


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#2 of 19 Old 12-11-2010, 05:36 PM
 
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I have no idea.  I felt my first at 13-14 weeks.  I could SEE the kicks by 17-18 weeks. It looked like someone was jabbing me with a pen from the inside. LOL  I was not super thin either.  Actually a few lbs overweight.  My dates were also accurate.  Had a healthy, big boy at 41 weeks.

 

"They" also say that you cannot feel round ligament pain before a certain time and I beg to differ.  I felt it almost from conception.  Maybe I'm just overly sensitive.

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#3 of 19 Old 12-11-2010, 05:47 PM
 
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I felt my dd move at 10weeks just flutters and my ds at 12weeks flutters again both where below my pubic bone.

I have no doubt at all that what I felt was the babies so I know that even though they say avg is later than that I am many others feel movement before avg. I dont remember which one it was but I felt the fluttering during a u/s while watching the baby move.

I didnt feel solid kicks/thumps until much later though.

 
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#4 of 19 Old 12-11-2010, 06:49 PM
 
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I do believe that people can feel their baby's flutters very early.  However, I think it depends on where you feel them whether they are in fact the baby, or something else (like gas).  I've seen people online saying they could feel their baby kick and see there belly move at 12 weeks.  But at 12 weeks, the uterus hasn't even popped above the pelvic bone.  So, seeing something move or feeling something move by your belly button is not a baby that early on.  However slight flutters, felt very low at 12 weeks.  I can believe that.

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#5 of 19 Old 12-11-2010, 06:57 PM
 
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Probably because "they" are men or have never been pregnant...or they studied the wrong 100 woman. LOL  I felt all my babies very early on and with my 3rd, dh and I saw movement on the outside at 15 weeks, lots of movement.


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#6 of 19 Old 12-12-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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It's not just you.  I think it's weird "they" say that too!  This is my first, and I felt him at 14 weeks, then once a week after that, and several weeks later, was feeling more consistent kicks.  I know that first time WAS him, though.  And yeah, then I read online you "can't" feel them until 20 weeks or something.  I was like.. says who?? hehe


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#7 of 19 Old 12-12-2010, 01:21 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dejagerw View Post

I do believe that people can feel their baby's flutters very early.  However, I think it depends on where you feel them whether they are in fact the baby, or something else (like gas).  I've seen people online saying they could feel their baby kick and see there belly move at 12 weeks.  But at 12 weeks, the uterus hasn't even popped above the pelvic bone.  So, seeing something move or feeling something move by your belly button is not a baby that early on.  However slight flutters, felt very low at 12 weeks.  I can believe that.



Several women in my DDC were measuring ahead at 12w. My MW commented that my fundus was where it should be for 16w, not 12. At 14w it's nearly at my navel. Not everyone has a textbook uterus. 


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#8 of 19 Old 12-12-2010, 02:17 AM
 
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Didn't you know women's knowledge isn't real until a scientific body has proved it?  One day they will do a big expensive tenure-earning study and be able to tell us that along with the female orgasm and painful/noticeable ovulation early foetal movement IS real afterall.  Until then it is gas, so don't get any big ideas about you knowing your body better than a doctor, book or website does! ;)

 

I was measuring 21weeks at 15weeks, my uterus never got the "stay down until 12weeks" memo, or was it reading the wrong website...?

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#9 of 19 Old 12-12-2010, 05:29 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GoBecGo View Post

Didn't you know women's knowledge isn't real until a scientific body has proved it?  



Sadly, yes this. 

 

I was seeing two different providers during my pregnancy with my daughter. It must have been right around 14 weeks when I told the midwives I could feel the baby moving way down low and they hugged me and we all talked about how exciting it was. I told the other provider that I could feel her and he flat out said, "No you don't."  

 

Sometimes we have to own our knowledge and know that we have a connection some providers/website would deny us--but we can't let them! 

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#10 of 19 Old 12-12-2010, 08:06 AM
 
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Anytime someone posts on here about how their doc told them you can't feel baby move until 'such and such time' I assume their doctor must be man!

 

With my first I had been feeling movement at 14 weeks and the doctor was doing an ultrasound so I was able to confirm that my feelings in actuality corresponded with the baby moving!

 

But also, I think sometimes I felt gas and just assumed it was the baby moving.  I assumed I could tell the difference, but then a few days after I gave birth I remember thinking, "oh there's the baby wiggling around again'.  ROTFLMAO.gifSince I actually didn't have a baby inside me anymore that was obviously just gas!


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#11 of 19 Old 12-12-2010, 09:44 AM
 
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I read somewhere that they agree in 2nd pregnancies you can feel the baby as early as 13 weeks- so I would guess you can in your first, too! I'm sure that if "they" have decided 13 weeks is the magic number, that some can feel earlier and some not until later.


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#12 of 19 Old 12-12-2010, 08:28 PM
 
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It's basically a guideline, but doctors seem to follow it pretty closely. I told my HCP I felt it at 15 weeks he all but snickered and said it's gas. Won't feel it til 20-25 weeks and this is not my first pregnancy.

 

I know what gas feels like it's not gas, but even at nearly 19 weeks it's not an all the time thing that I feel it. Seems when I hunch over (bad, bad, bad, trying not to) I feel it most because that must bring me closer to it, or restrict it's moving area somehow.

 

The thing is there's loads of variables here. Weight before PG, for one will determine when you can feel it move. If slimmer at first it should happen sooner - even for a first pregnancy.

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#13 of 19 Old 12-13-2010, 10:11 AM
 
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gummibears i am not very thin and i could feel my babies early (15weeks with DD1, 12 weeks with DD2).  I think so much of it depends on the individual.  I used NFP and was VERY aware of my body and reproductive organs before pregnancy, i think that, and perhaps individual anatomy meaning i had the nerves there to detect these things, made a difference.  I know one very very thin lady who was 31 weeks PG before she knew!

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#14 of 19 Old 12-13-2010, 12:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by gummibears View Post

It's basically a guideline, but doctors seem to follow it pretty closely. I told my HCP I felt it at 15 weeks he all but snickered and said it's gas. Won't feel it til 20-25 weeks and this is not my first pregnancy.


See, that's what I don't understand. It's crazy! I can SEE it moving from the outside, and DH can feel and see it, too! What the heck is it, then? An alien? My organs on the loose? How does it benefit them to say that's not the baby?

 

(For the record, my doctor hasn't said this, but I haven't mentioned it, either. I'm just ticked for all the people being told this, and about websites saying this.)


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#15 of 19 Old 12-13-2010, 11:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by GoBecGo View Post

gummibears i am not very thin and i could feel my babies early (15weeks with DD1, 12 weeks with DD2).  I think so much of it depends on the individual.  I used NFP and was VERY aware of my body and reproductive organs before pregnancy, i think that, and perhaps individual anatomy meaning i had the nerves there to detect these things, made a difference.  I know one very very thin lady who was 31 weeks PG before she knew!


Yes, being especially in tune with body helps, too. That's another really big variable as far as I'm concerned. And I can't imagine not knowing for over 30 weeks. When AF goes missing it's a big ole sign something's up, LOL.Then again if she was thin enough she might have had interrupted or spotty cycles, and that wouldn't have been any type of an indication of pregnancy.

 

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It's basically a guideline, but doctors seem to follow it pretty closely. I told my HCP I felt it at 15 weeks he all but snickered and said it's gas. Won't feel it til 20-25 weeks and this is not my first pregnancy.


See, that's what I don't understand. It's crazy! I can SEE it moving from the outside, and DH can feel and see it, too! What the heck is it, then? An alien? My organs on the loose? How does it benefit them to say that's not the baby?

 

(For the record, my doctor hasn't said this, but I haven't mentioned it, either. I'm just ticked for all the people being told this, and about websites saying this.)


Yeah, I wish I had countered back, but a few days later I said to DH it's here and pointed. He listened and hear the heartbeat there and felt nudges. That's some gas, Doc. On days I did have gas I also correctly pointed out what was the LO and what was gas. Seriously, more than 20 weeks just to feel quickening? I think not. I felt it at 4 months with DS and that was a first pregnancy. 20-25 weeks for heavy kicks? Okay, that I'll buy, but not for the wiggles and tickles, which is what I explained I'd felt to my doctor at 15 weeks.

 

I went into the ER this week and they asked if I'd felt it yet. I said flat out yes, though my doctor says it's gas and rolled my eyes. LOL The doctor on staff kinda laughed but did say it was kinda early to feel it (this was at 18 weeks) Are you kidding me? All baby sites say 16 weeks is standard to feel it (quickening) and 18 weeks on a 2nd pregnancy is early? Says who?

 

FYI, I wasn't as thin as when I was pregnant with DS, but I was NOT overweight when I got pregnant, so I don't see why they think it's so odd I'm feeling it. VERY frustrating because I know what I feel. Gas is usually higher in the stomach and LO is lower in the same areas most times.

 

Because in the end we are only the ones carrying these babies. These doctors - especially the ones I saw both being male - know totally more about my baby and my body than me, right? Pbbt. Wonder what my midwife would say to that? Maybe when I see her for my first apt I'll mention it for giggles.

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#16 of 19 Old 12-13-2010, 11:13 PM
 
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"they" say it to keep pregnant women from having panic attacks about not being able to feel the baby kick.

 

Now, the doctors who say it's "just gas" I think are silly. I think instead they should say that it's awesome you can feel things so early, but not to expect regular movement until later. (You'll notice I'm being kind to them and assuming that they just want to keep women from worrying.)

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#17 of 19 Old 12-14-2010, 04:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I wish I had countered back, but a few days later I said to DH it's here and pointed. He listened and hear the heartbeat there and felt nudges. That's some gas, Doc. On days I did have gas I also correctly pointed out what was the LO and what was gas. Seriously, more than 20 weeks just to feel quickening? I think not. I felt it at 4 months with DS and that was a first pregnancy. 20-25 weeks for heavy kicks? Okay, that I'll buy, but not for the wiggles and tickles, which is what I explained I'd felt to my doctor at 15 weeks.

 

I don't know. I'm 19 weeks with my first, and I'm definitely feeling the heavy kicks. Have been since 16w6d. Like I said, I can see them on the outside, too. 


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#18 of 19 Old 12-14-2010, 04:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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"they" say it to keep pregnant women from having panic attacks about not being able to feel the baby kick.

 

Now, the doctors who say it's "just gas" I think are silly. I think instead they should say that it's awesome you can feel things so early, but not to expect regular movement until later. (You'll notice I'm being kind to them and assuming that they just want to keep women from worrying.)

That would be nice, but I have a hard time buying it when I've read stories of doctors rolling their eyes or snickering. 

 

The regular movement thing is true, though, at least for me. Although I am feeling the kicks and rolls and seeing them, it's not really regular yet. Some days, the baby is going crazy, and other days, not as much. I think there's still a lot of room for baby to hide. smile.gif
 


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#19 of 19 Old 12-14-2010, 05:44 PM
 
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This is my first and I definitely felt movement just at 14  weeks. It felt nothing like gas, or stomach grumbles. ( I've never experienced any of those movements below my pubic bone, lol.) It felt like the baby had a cell phone turned to vibrate right against my cervix. Ha. I told the doc I felt movement and he got all excited and told me it was a great sign. Later when he tried to hear the heartbeat, I pointed to  exactly where the baby was. Sooo...I guess its not impossible to feel them move that early I agree with previous posters who say it has to do with being in tune with your body...

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