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#391 of 407 Old 04-30-2011, 10:56 PM
 
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I like the second option for looks wise, but I do get how the first would maybe be a better storage option. I have a built in close organizer in our "nursery" closet. It has way more space/shelves than I'll ever need, and it was under $200. Would that be an option, for more of the clothes storage, etc. and then the change table itself would only need to hold the things you would need 'immediately' type thing. ie a day or so worth of dipes and outfit changes. 

 

I'm still angry about the midwife. It just boggles my mind. It's the same thing as you mentioned MW-- it's completely based on due date, and since my "edd" is November 28th, I'm SOL. I even gave her December 2nd, since that's more accurate with my ovulation date, and she said it still places me within "november", so no luck. I'm going back through all the online ratings for OB's again, and trying to pick out any that seem pro-natural birth, but people tend to praise them more in cases where they are heavily medicalized, you know? (ie, my baby and i both would have DIED if that dr hadn't performed a c-section because the baby was stuck, she's the best dr ever, go to her for anything!).  I actually came across one where the dad asked if he could catch the baby, and got a huge lecture about how he was undermining the doctors authority and skill, and treating her like she had no specialization or worth, because he was a paramedic, and she was offended that he thought that meant he was qualified to catch that baby. I definately starred that one and crossed off my list. A/ I don't need to be an MD to catch my own baby if I want, and B/ DH is a paramedic, and if she went off on a rant like that, he'd probably deck her. Or maybe I would... 

 

It just sucks. I had found the one OB I was semi excited to have if I had to have one, and now no one else seems liek a good option. I know it's more the nurses than the OB's for a lot of a hospital delivery too, and that sucks, because I can't choose those. And I'm already finding myself a bit stressed because I know several of the nurses in the hospital I will deliver at, from school in the past, and I don't particularly want them at my delivery... it just seems so awkward... 

 

*sigh* I'm hoping for miracles still. I know that a hospital delivery will be fine, and if I'm strong and persistant I can get what I want. I just was looking forward to not having to fight. And just little things even like having to come 'home from the hospital' now. And in December at that... I don't want my 6-8lb infant to have to go outside hours after being born. But I also do not want to spend the night at the hospital. Things like that, that seem silly and like afterthoughts, but it just requires so much re-aligning of my thoughts about the birth. 

 

BFS: I couldn't testify as to description of the plug, but I know it is definately possibly to lose it in pieces over days or weeks. That could be whats happening, that as the cervix is slowly opening, you're getting some of the 'edge pieces', but not that actual bulk of the plug itself. Who knows! It's funny how pretty much everything in late pregnancy is "could be, or could not be..."


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#392 of 407 Old 05-01-2011, 05:32 AM
 
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So, um, JJ...if you have a somewhat medical background and your DH is a paramedic...

 

whistling.gif

 

...would you consider UC?    Those OBs do sound like nightmares.  Just throwing it out there! 


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#393 of 407 Old 05-01-2011, 06:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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BFS ~ I was thinking about this more last night. Even though I had never seen a mucous plug before I was certain that's what mine was when I saw it. There was no question. I can't tell you why but it was obviously something other than just the normal mucous. The main thing for you to pay attention to is contractions. A lot of what I've read recently just says that if you have more than 4 in an hour you should call your HCP. When I was pg with ds2, the OB I was seeing told me more than 4 an hour for more than 4 hours. If you start to feel contractions, get a glass of water and change what you are doing. If you are standing or sitting or cleaning the floor, lay down and put your feet up. If you are laying down, sit or stand up and walk around (I think).

JJ ~ I actually don't mind staying in the hospital overnight. It's nice to be waited on, so to speak. I had my food brought to me and didn't have to do anything else except hold/feed my baby. After my c-section, the nurse came in the 2nd or 3rd day and made me get up and walk around but that was because they had to make sure I could walk around before they would discharge me. I was a little mad about that because I was comfy in the bed. lol.gif As long as they have rooming in, it's not that bad. I won't even consider going to the civilian hospital here is because they take all babies to the nursery for the first 2-4 hours after birth whether they are sick or not because they don't have the portable equipment to do all their weighing and measuring and what not in each room. But the military hospital has rooming in unless the baby is ill and needs to medical treatment.

At least those reviews are giving you an idea of who you do not want to see. Women around here are like that about the OBs. When I was pg with ds3 everyone I talked to had wonderful things to say about the OB I was seeing for dual care. It was all the same stuff as you are seeing, though. He saved my life by doing the c-section I needed or he really took charge and told me what to do. I came to the conclusion from that that most people do not want to take responsibility for their own health and well-being. They much prefer to give it to someone else.

Is there another hospital you could consider going to if you don't like the one you are talking about? WRT Carrie's idea, I had been thinking about that. Have you considered UC since you are so opposed to being in the hospital?

I need all the clothes and diapers in easy reach. The changing table will be put downstairs where we'll be spending most of our time and I'll be doing most of the changing so I need the most storage possible in it to hold most of the diapers and clothes. The dresser that will be in my room upstairs will be mainly for night changes and the occasional change when we are upstairs, most likely after waking.

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#394 of 407 Old 05-01-2011, 11:01 AM
 
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I know, that's my saving grace, is that I'm able to cross some drs off that I know I definately do not want now. I just haven't found another one that I -do- want. 

 

I am all for a UC, but DH isn't quite there yet, and I respect that. That doesn't mean I'm not going to continue talking about it constantly to him for the next 7 months hoping to change his mind, but for our first I get why he's still nervous about it. I definately do plan on staying home until the last possible minute though... I'm liking the idea of showing up at the hospital essentially only for second stage. There's a lot to be discussed still I guess, but I'm still just coming tot erms with it all, and the idea that I'm more likely not to get a homebirth now than -to get- a homebirth. 

 

MW-- that makes sense about the changer. We have such a small house, other than the basement, that I'm lucky enough to be able to leave almost everything in the bedroom and one or two changes of things out in the living room for quick changes. 


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#395 of 407 Old 05-01-2011, 11:05 AM
 
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Oh, and there's only one other hospital in our city that delivers, OB's generally have privledges only at one or the other. I'm more hesitant to go to the other, they have a VERY small LDRP floor, so you're pretty much always treated as high risk, being moved for triage, then labor, then delivery, then a final postpartum room. The hospital I want, you triage, and then as long as you are not high risk, you're put in a large room with a private shower for the whole rest of your stay. It still woefully screams hospital room, but at least it's not a cubicle, you know? My only experience at the other hospital as well was... traumatic. The nurses were so anti-natural birth, anti-doula, really anti-letting the mother have any control at all. I had a doula client that was telling them she needed to go to the bathroom, was very obviously in the throes of transition, but they refused to check her, and instead called for an epidural, telling her she needed to calm down (without asking her if she wanted one...). Thankfully she literally was at the point where her body started pushing, and the anesthesiologist obviously wouldn't administer the epi. I know it's only one case and that means nothing, but it had drasticly increased my stress level at that hospital. 


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#396 of 407 Old 05-01-2011, 11:06 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

So, um, JJ...if you have a somewhat medical background and your DH is a paramedic...

 

whistling.gif

 

 

Yeah! My Dh is a paramedic part-time too! He set up a whole "station" in our master closet in case the midwife wasn't "prepared". Honestly, we could have given birth the last two times without her. No complications whatsoever and she didn't do anything that DH as a paramedic could not have done himself. 


 

 


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#397 of 407 Old 05-01-2011, 11:11 AM
 
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Yeah! My Dh is a paramedic part-time too! He set up a whole "station" in our master closet in case the midwife wasn't "prepared". Honestly, we could have given birth the last two times without her. No complications whatsoever and she didn't do anything that DH as a paramedic could not have done himself. 


 

 



Oh I know. It sucks. I feel confident in his abilities... and obviously I would brush up on my knowledge as well, but he's just not quite there yet. But... I do have several months, so like I said, I'm just going to flood him with information. It's easier to convince them into homebirth though because there's so many wonderful studies. There really aren't any (valid) studies on UC. 


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#398 of 407 Old 05-01-2011, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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One of the main reasons I ended up at the hospital with ds2 was because my dh was not comfortable with a homebirth. Knowing what I know now, I wish I had been more assertive about the homebirth and not tried to appease my dh so much. That's different from UC, though. Even having had a homebirth I don't know if I could do UC. Maybe because I would be truly unassisted since my dh is not here. It's not really unassisted if your SO or another support person is there, is it?

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#399 of 407 Old 05-01-2011, 04:51 PM
 
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MW, I believe in most people's eyes, it is still called a UC as long as you don't have medical help. Not sure if it "count" or not since JJ's husband is a medic though! lol.gif not that it matters whether it would count.

JJ, I do have to add my two cents on the waiting until the last minute to go to the hospital thing. I think for many/most women, that could work just fine, but for me, by the time I figured out it was time to go (couldn't walk/talk through contractions, etc.) it was really too late for me. I mean, I guess I made it, but just barely. So I think it depends on what you are going for - if your goal is to avoid interventions, sure, stay home until the very last second. But if you want to avoid CHAOS at all, you might want to time things a little differently. And it will depend on the person. I had nurses swarm me when I got to the hospital with his head practically hanging out lol.gif and though it ended up turning out fine, I didn't appreciate the chaos and am hoping for a little more calmness this time. The other thing I would recommend if you do end up in the hospital and plan on staying home as long as possible, is to be mentally prepared and have some basic supplies for a UC in case you don't make it, which it sounds like you may already be planning on. Also, decide ahead of time with your DH what you will do if you stay too long and end up pushing at home - will you call 911 or jump in the car and rush to the hospital, or will you UC? And if you UC, will you go to the hospital afterwards, or not?

Just a couple things you have plenty of time to think about, but I thought I would share my experience. thumb.gif

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#400 of 407 Old 05-01-2011, 07:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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MW, I believe in most people's eyes, it is still called a UC as long as you don't have medical help. Not sure if it "count" or not since JJ's husband is a medic though! lol.gif not that it matters whether it would count.

Yeah, I know. I was just making the point that, to me anyway, it's not completely unassisted unless you are all by yourself. I guess it could be if you had another person there who did absolutely nothing or totally freaked out. But most UCs I've read about the woman has her SO with her and s/he's there doing whatever the mom needs; bringing water, providing bodily support, climbing in the tub, etc. Just my POV. winky.gif

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#401 of 407 Old 05-01-2011, 11:08 PM
 
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Yeah I think for most people it's still a UC as long as there's no trained medical professional. Although wow, I give a lot of kudos to the women that can literally do it on their own. I feel liek I'm going to want to be left alone, but I can't imagine not having the option to call DH into the room and help if needed (and he probably will be there with me for support, regardless). 

 

For us, I would still "count" it as a UC, because he's never attended a birth before, medic or not. What he knows is the same as what any well informed MDC mother knows before a delivery (as opposed to what most mainstream mamas know, you know?). But he still would probably be freaked out about the birth itself. It's more his skills in recussitation that make me feel more comfortable. He's never done a newborn before, but he has dealt with that general scenerio, and I know he knows what to do. But for the most part, any birth complications that came up, I would be the one directing him I think, not the other way around. 

 

But, of course that's all assuming I could convince him to UC, and I don't know I could. But like I said... I do respect his feelings on that. It was a long way intitally for him to become supportive of homebirth, and I think without any births under his belt (ours or someone elses) it's asking a lot of him to be ok going it alone, you know? Maybe for a second child. 

 

BFS: I've thought of that too. I've never labored before obviously, but my mother's labors were all increasing speed. I'm the oldest, and was about 10 hours I think, then around 4, then 45 minutes (born juuuustt inside the room, almost a hallway baby). Then with my youngest brother she was a bit older, but that one still was... I think max 10 hours. She left during the night, so I don't know what time, and had him at 10:45am. So I know I have to keep in mind the possibility of it being a quick labor. I'm ok with it being an "oops" UC, but I'm not sure if DH would be upset. Time to talk about it I suppose... 


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#402 of 407 Old 05-02-2011, 04:55 AM
 
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For me UC means no professional people present.  Honestly, part of me secretly hopes this baby will come very fast and I can have an Oops homebirth . . . generally since this is my first VBAC, if I were to have a true homebirth, I would want a professional there, just for reassurance, and to bolster my confidence. Also, as much as I believe in listening to our bodies, sometimes an outside pair of eyes - especially professional ones - can see things that we cannot. Either way, I don't thing I could go UP - without outside prenatal care - I like, to a point at least, to get checked out, and while I don't see the need for excessive ultrasounds (like every visit, unless something is clearly wrong) I do see the importance of having at least one for anatomy and to check placental placement.

 

JJ hope you can find a care provider that suits you!

 

As for the mucous plug, I think I lost mine 2 or 3 times. There is no doubt when you have, it is a big wad of mucous, and it isn't, but often is, bloody, at least a little bit. (all that and I still hadn't gone into labor by 41+6; I think I lost it the first time around 38 weeks)

 

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#403 of 407 Old 05-02-2011, 05:19 AM
 
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I'd have a LOT to learn if I wanted or had to UC, so I give you props JJ for even thinking about the possibility.  How far are you from the US border? winky.gif

 

AFM - Looks like I'm going to be a SAHM for a bit after the baby is born!  DH and I have had plenty of talks about this over the past 6 months and it's always been the same song and dance.  He wants/needs me to work, b/c the extra money helps.  Well, my spa has been pretty slow lately, and I'm barely bringing home $100 a weekend.  I brought it up again the other night that I wanted to stay home longer than a few weeks, and just threw it out there that I would like to just leave this job, and when baby is like closer to a year old, look for another job.  In a busier spa!  So that it's worth it to leave both kids.  And he agreed!  So now I just need to make it thru til July!  Huzzah!  I get at least a few more months off!

 

I have a prenatal visit tomorrow!  I'm wondering if she'll be able to help me figure out the baby's position.  I know it's early to "worry" but I still just want to know.  

 

When do we start having appointments every 2 weeks instead of every 4?


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#404 of 407 Old 05-02-2011, 05:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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With UC, I think it's definitely something where you have to completely trust the natural process. I can see how that would be very hard for someone trained in medicine of any kind to do, especially since the possibilities of what is normal and ok are endless. Western society is so brainwashed with the idea that childbirth is dangerous and needs medical attention. We don't know what truly natural childbirth really is anymore.

I can't stop palpating my belly. I want to feel that baby and know where he is and how he is positioned all the time. I keep trying to feel specific body parts, too. My MW said it was safe when I asked dh if he wanted to feel. DH made some comment about the baby being poked and prodded. She said baby is completely cushioned and protected. IDK.

What do you all think? Do you think it's still ok even if I do it several times a day? I'm getting worried that I'm going to poke an eye out or something. Stupid, right? eyesroll.gif

That changing table from Target with all the baskets is now on sale for $144. I think I need to get that one now. I want to return the clothes I bought first, though, because I used a gift card and I don't know if they'll put the refund back on the gift card or on my credit card. I don't want to use my money to pay for the changing table and then be stuck with gift card money. KWIM?

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#405 of 407 Old 05-02-2011, 05:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Carrie ~ We cross-posted. That's great about being able to be a SAHM for a while. I read a while back that unless at least one parent makes at least 60K a year, it's not financially beneficial for both parents to work. That was assuming the extra expense of childcare, though. If I remember correctly, you don't have that because you work on days when your dh is home, right?
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When do we start having appointments every 2 weeks instead of every 4?

I'm starting 2 week appointments now. I had my last 4 week prenatal at 26w and they scheduled my next one for 2 weeks. It seems kind of early to me but maybe not.

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#406 of 407 Old 05-02-2011, 05:56 AM
 
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Carrie ~ We cross-posted. That's great about being able to be a SAHM for a while. I read a while back that unless at least one parent makes at least 60K a year, it's not financially beneficial for both parents to work. That was assuming the extra expense of childcare, though. If I remember correctly, you don't have that because you work on days when your dh is home, right?
 

 

Yup - I work only on weekends, and my MIL watches DD for free on Fridays. So, there's no expense for us at all. Except that DH loses the only free time he has (weekends) to work on the house, etc.

 

I palpate a lot.  I even bounce the hard round things to see if it's head or butt!  I think they're fine in there.  If it was going to hurt the baby, I don't think we'd do it.  I think we'd "know".


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#407 of 407 Old 05-02-2011, 06:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I started a new thread for May since we are up to 21 pages here. We sure are a chatty bunch. smile.gif

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1311030/may-2011-whatever-ladies-graduates#post_16421456

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