All natural births . . .had the urge to push the first three times. Last time, I knew I was at 10 and just felt done being pregnant, so I pushed and #4 came out within minutes. Strange since I thought I HAD to have that real urge to push to make it work.
I think if you are in the right position, it should take little work. The biggest mistake is to overdo it. It does not have to be a big or dramatic thing. I even see the purpose of the Ring of Fire-- makes you want to BE DONE.
2/02, 4/05, 2/07, 11/09, and EDD 12/25/11
I have given birth three times, 2 no drugs, 1 epidural. And with all three, the urge to push was very overwhelming. The only difference for me between the pushing with the epidural vs without was the feeling of the baby coming down, and the level of pain. The urge to push didn't change and I was still in pain with the epidural, just not as much.
With all three of my pregnancies, I have a long lead up in labor, many hours. Then, when I hit transition, at about 7 or 8 cm, things begin to FLY. It's at that point that I hit that "wall" and am convinced that I can't do it any more. But, all three times, within like 10 minutes of hitting that 7 or 8 cm point, I am complete within 5 minutes and baby is out within 30. I don't think I have ever pushed more than 5 times, including placenta delivery. My body immediately begins to push for me, and my pushing is more like giving in and enhancing what my body is doing, rather than me actively deciding to push.
my body heaved dd out too...lol
very loud grunting (I could not control it and I think it helped me not hold back!)
I actually woke up in the night (early sat am) with a single heave...dd was born early sunday am
mom to ds '07 first day of a new year, dd '09 in the caul, and ds '11 at home Oct 24th
With my first, I had an epidural and pushed when they told me to. With my second, the midwife suggested that I might want to try pushing, I did, and my water broke. Then she and the nurse wanted to check my cervix, find the baby's heartbeat, etc. so they had me lie down while they did that. They couldn't find the heartbeat (they didn't have any reason to think there wasn't one, just couldn't be sure about it), so the midwife started urging me to push the baby out. But I was still lying down, which felt really uncomfortable, and I kept having what felt like one non-stop contraction. I felt like I couldn't change my position, or think about pushing, or anything, unless I got a break from the contractions, but I never got one. The midwife kept urging me to push and I was just sort of flopping around and saying, "I can't!" but I did try. I didn't feel like it was very effective pushing, but I guess it was good enough. The baby was out in no more than 10 minutes. I don't remember any real urge to push, or any point when it felt like my pushes were really doing very much. I also don't remember any "ring of fire" moment.
The reason the urge feels similar to the urge to poop for some and the reason that eventually you will respond reflexively is because there is a nerve the runs along the front of the rectum and then into the top of the vaginal canal, the pelvic nerve. When the baby's head is low enough, the cord is struck and your body responds. When you need to poop, the rectum expands and presses on the nerve from the other side, thus letting you know to get to a toilet. (I'm also a labor nurse and childbirth educator!)
Both my children were born at home and the pushing began on it's own, my body was pushing and I followed. I did tear with my first, I was squatting and she came in about 20 minutes. With my second, I was in the water and at the point when I felt his head begin to emerge, I blew the urge to push away as much as I could so that I could let the area stretch more slowly. I did not tear with this birth, but it could have been the water and the cellular memory to expand as he was born in less that 15 minutes of pushing.
If you do some work now, during the pregnancy, to tune into sensation and physical response, it will really help. Do some breathing work connected to drawing in and releasing the pelvic floor so that you can strengthen the muscles and also your awareness. Yoga classes are a great way to tune into the body as well.
Once I get the urge to push, there's really no choice about it. My body does it whether I mean to or not. I can purposely push more or avoid pushing more, but my body will bear down regardless. That's actually the reason I got an epidural with my first. I got the urge at only 7cm and was scared I would damage my cervix. It's totally different wo the epi. You'll know when.
With #1, I felt her moving down and felt a huge urge to push when I still had a lip. I pushed lightly anyway because that's what felt best. Oddly enough when they decided I could push, I didn't feel the need anymore but they kept chanting that I should push so I did. I probably would have been ok waiting.
With #2, I felt no urge to push. I didn't want to push because the ring of fire from #1 was clearly in the my head. Contractions were getting worse with each one I didn't push with so I finally reasoned that I could push and have it over with OR I could continue to have contractions coming one on top of the other ....I chose to push.