Put your hand up if you're being forced to hospital birth - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-01-2011, 12:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
onetwoten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,935
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

(and bitter about it)... I've been planning a homebirth for years. Since long before we were even TTC. All my friends and family, and heck half my coworkers, have all heard about how important a homebirth is to me. And now I am slowly losing all hope of that, and having a lot of trouble coming to terms with it. 

 

I know hospital birth can be a good thing, and it can still incorporate many elements of homebirth that I want, but it's not homebirth. And I'm angry about that. 

 

It's not even that I'm risking out, or DH isn't supportive, or that we can't afford it or anything. On thr contrary, it's fully funded by my province, DH is very supportive of the homebirth (and I'm finding him even moreso now that it's off the table, he's as angry as I am), and I am picture perfect health. Nope, I just can't have one because the midwife practices are all booked up. And I called the first day I tested, at 12dpo. Apparently that's too late. 

 

I know eventually with time, I'll be able to accept it, and start productively planning the ways to make my hospital birth the most homey and non-interventionist... but right now I just need to wallow. I can't reconcile all the pictures in my head of my babys birth with a hospital room. With having to leave and go someone else. With being in public. With having to travel home afterwards. With having to fight every step of the way to have things done my way and listen to my body. It just makes me so sad. 

 

 

Who's with me?

 

 


Doula mama, medic daddy and Tenley Harper born naturally 11/29/11 delayedvax.gifbfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

onetwoten is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 05-01-2011, 01:31 AM
 
elisheva's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: BC
Posts: 1,432
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Do you have any connections in your community who may be able to convince a MW to take you on? Can you phone some of the practices back and see if they've had any cancellations (i.e. due to miscarriage). I wouldn't give up so easily if it's that important to you. Can't hurt to try again. I do know that if I begged my MW to take on a friend when she's (the MW) already booked, she probably would. Maybe you have someone who can go to bat for you?


"So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton
 
 
 
   

elisheva is offline  
Old 05-01-2011, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
onetwoten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,935
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I was told to continue calling all the practices back once a month or so, hoping for cancellations, but I know that's not a sure thing obviously. I'm basically hoping for someone elses misfortune. And I don't really know anything in the community well enough. I doulaed part time for a while back, but they were all hospital births with OB's, and I wasn't there long enough to really gain connections. The only doula I know who would recognize me by name doesn't really have any connections either. I'm so bummed. Basically it's a wait and see and keep bugging them situatuation. 


Doula mama, medic daddy and Tenley Harper born naturally 11/29/11 delayedvax.gifbfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

onetwoten is offline  
Old 05-01-2011, 01:22 PM
 
Jaimee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Seattle, Tucson, Austin, Baltimore. Now: Urbana, IL
Posts: 7,465
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I agree with the pp... don't give up yet!  I would keep calling as well, maybe ask about a waiting list.  Are there no independent midwives in the area?  Have you tried posting in the Finding Your Tribe forum for additional ideas?  Do you have any local natural parenting based Yahoo, Google or Meetup Groups that you can join and ask for ideas?  Good luck!!


Mama to Avalon 1/07 waterbirth.jpg, Austin 1/10 in between uc.jpgand Avery 12/11  h20homebirth.gif
fambedsingle1.gif   femalesling.GIF   winner.jpg   cd.gif     ecbaby2.gif  novaxnocirc.gif   goorganic.jpg  

Jaimee is offline  
Old 05-01-2011, 01:44 PM
 
clutterbug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,026
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I hope something will open up for you - December is still a good ways away.  I hear you about hoping for someone else's misfortune, that is not a fun place to be.  There is always the chance more positions will be created in response to demand (I know, that's a tall order, but not totally impossible).

 

I am planning a home birth but I totally get where you are coming from...I'm in Nova Scotia and we have the same model of midwifery care (employee-based) as Manitoba, as far as I know.  Our local midwifery program is currently suspended and it's left a lot of women out in the cold.  I am seeing the midwives in the next health district...it will mean travelling there for the birth ( we are renting a cottage, it's only about 45 minutes from here) but at least we're in....not everyone has been so lucky as there's a big wait list now, so I feel pretty blessed.  Anyway, just thought I'd throw that out there - if you;re willing to travel for appointments and the birth, can you access care in another community?

clutterbug is offline  
Old 05-01-2011, 04:07 PM
 
Springshowers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,824
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 63 Post(s)

It took me until I was almost 2 months pregnant last time to get in with a midwife in Ontario... I had my name with 5 different practices within 2 hours of here hoping someone would take me (I was willing to drive and rent a place to have the baby if needed). The one I wanted (closest) took their time.. but eventually got back to me. So keep calling and make sure you are on their list. Let the person you talk to at each place know how important it is for you.. maybe you can get bumped up on the list.

 

There are always people that change their mind.. so spots do open up.

 

Good luck!!

Sheryl

Springshowers is online now  
Old 05-01-2011, 04:46 PM
 
copper.kettle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 555
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Ugh, that's a tough pill to swallow.  Something might open up, but if not you can have a positive hospital experience.  I think you have a good attitude about it, and I can understand needing to take the time to grieve your "ideal".  I had a really beautiful natural birth with my DS; it really is possible.

 

Hang in there, Dec is still a ways off :)


Copper- wife to B, mama to DS1 Jeb 12.4.07, and DS2 William 8.11.11.  So thrilled to be expecting a surprise baby 10.26.14!!!
copper.kettle is offline  
Old 05-02-2011, 12:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
onetwoten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,935
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

bluepetals-- That's what I'm hoping. There's several postings for midwives-- the province is *trying* to fund them... they just can't find any to hire. There is definately the demand for it... I think at any given time, for Winnipeg alone there for around 3 full time postings.  Out of town is not an option, the closest midwife that practices to me is approx 2 hours away apparently, and she books up just as fast. The division my parents live in don't even have a midwife practice at all, which sucks too. 

 

I was told all four practices don't "do" wait lists, I suppose there's so much demand they probably can't keep up with them. So it's just a matter of calling and calling until a spot opens up. 

 

No underground midwives... I don't think they'd be able to make a living here with the way our health care system is. They would be absolutely eaten alive if ever discovered. And with our model, there's not really a lot of benefit for them to go that route anyways. Midwives practice independently in MB. 

 

I'm 9 weeks now, I called all four practices in our city the day I got my positive test, but they are all completely full for my "due month". So... just a waiting game. I'm trying to be proactive in the meantime and attempt to find a good OB, but it's hard. None of them sound as good as the midwives, and it's disheartening knowing that several of the 'good ones' are going to be too full as well. 

 

Copper.kettle  --- Thank you. I mean I know, if this is what I have to do, I can make the best of it, I can hire a fierce doula, and DH will be protective as anything in the hospital. But it's just still not jiving in my head yet. One day... 


Doula mama, medic daddy and Tenley Harper born naturally 11/29/11 delayedvax.gifbfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

onetwoten is offline  
Old 05-02-2011, 12:53 AM
 
RoamingWidgeteer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Gulf Islands, BC, Canada
Posts: 92
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

As everyone else has said - don't give up. But also don't work yourself up about having a hospital birth. I had a home birth all planned with great midwife support, and then my blood pressure skyrocketed when labour started. The midwife said, sorry, we're going to the hospital (fair enough - it was alarmingly high)

 

So I ended up in a hospital 2 hours and a ferry ride away without the midwife (she had 3 other clients due and couldn't come), but it really wasn't that bad :) The hospital's on-call midwife came, and was very competent. Drugs were offered once, and only nitrous oxide was recommended later when bp starting edging towards alarming again and since that worked no other drugs were necessary. Nobody batted an eye when I shed all my clothing because I felt way too warm.

 

When ds was born, we bonded, with him on my chest for an hour before they weighed & measured in the same room, and then dh held him while I showered. And we were discharged 6 hours later when my bp was closer to normal. I don't think circumcision was ever brought up at all.

 


Happily married, with DS 08.2010
RoamingWidgeteer is offline  
Old 05-02-2011, 09:21 AM
 
clutterbug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,026
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by jeninejessica View Post

 Midwives practice independently in MB. 


Yup same as here...except in both our provinces, they are employed by the health authorities rather than in a practice that bills as a doctor's office would (like in Ontario, BC and I think Alberta). That's why there are job postings...they are trying to draw people into posted positions, as opposed to midwives moving into the area independently and starting up a practice.  There might be a few privately practicing midwives in Manitoba, I'm not sure, but here there are none - the insurance cost is too prohibitive to private practice with the very small number of midwives we have.  It will be interesting to see over the years how the growth of midwifery in provinces will be affected by employee-type models. Anyway, I am probably boring you - this is just an issue that we are hearing alot about here with the recent troubles that have been happening, and Manitoba is always put out there as the big success story of this model of midwifery funding...but obviously growth is an issue if there are always unfilled positions :(  We need more midwifery graduates!

 

As a PP said, take heart that a natural hospital birth can be a reality.  My first was born in hospital, and we were planning one for this baby as well before we got the spot with the midwives an hour away.  Both times we worked with supportive family physicians (if you can find a family doc who does births, it might be a good strategy in finding someone who shares your philosophy about birth), and for DS1's birth we had a doula.  The hospital (which is a tertiary care facility with something like a 95% epidural rate, and near 30% c-section rate) kind of saw us come as our little team with doula in tow and assigned us a nurse who used to be a midwife in Britain, and mostly left us to our own devices.  Our doctor made a real effort to do all her own call, so the doctor we saw the whole pregnancy was the one who caught baby, giving some of the contintuity that you get with midwifery care.  I truly think that coming in with a doula and an established labour and your own little groove already going can help them see you take your birth plans seriously.  Had we gone with planned hospital birth this time (or if we end up there for whatever reason), we had the green light from the doctor for discharge at 6 hours as long as everyone was a-ok.  I loved every part of my home birth with DS2, but the BEST part was actually the calm and peace in the hours after birth.  If you can get that early discharge, you still hang on to one of the biggest benefits of home birth, IMHO.

clutterbug is offline  
Old 05-02-2011, 12:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
onetwoten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,935
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

No no, not boring at all. I agree, it seems like an absolutely perfect model... it's just that there's no training facility here, not really anyways, and so people have to move to BC or Ontario for training... and then nobody wants to move back, obviously. The province is trying, I think they just don't have enough to offer. Perhaps boosting salaries, but they don't seem like bad salaries to be to begin with. It sucks, because it's at a standstill. I can't blame the government at all, the demand is just too high for the number of people who want to work here. 

 

I'm trying to feel more positive about the hospital, and you're right, I told DH a few dyas ago that I will definately be pushing for an early discharge. I know a lot of women their favorite part about the hospital is having someone wait on them, but I have no desire to spend the night somewhere other than my own bed, eating someone elses food, etc etc. I want to be home. 

 

My family dr's assistant actually called me back today to follow up, since she's the one wh told me my first choice OB was booked. She wanted to know if I wanted to try a referral to one of the other female drs in that practice, because that way she still has the same 1/4 chance of being the one on call when I deliver. That sounds hopeful, so I'm going to go check out the reviews for the others in her practice. It would be nice not to have to fight your way through pregnancy. 


Doula mama, medic daddy and Tenley Harper born naturally 11/29/11 delayedvax.gifbfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

onetwoten is offline  
Old 05-03-2011, 07:42 AM
 
matte's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: (upper) Manhattan
Posts: 126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I agree with the pps. Keep calling. It's not hoping for someone else's misfortune, a spot could open for any number of reasons. Someone could risk out, change her mind about homebirth, need to move for a better job, etc. Also, a midwife could have something change in her life that would allow her to take another client. I would just pick one day a week and call on that day, every week. Probably like Tuesday. Be super friendly, and don't let your frustration affect your interactions with the person you speak to there. If you are both nice and persistent I'm sure that they'll get you in as soon as they can.

matte is offline  
Old 08-18-2011, 10:53 PM
 
ali171's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto
Posts: 12
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm in a similar situation. No midwives in Halifax so I was waitlisted the district over only to be rejected as local women get preference. I surrendered to a hospital birth with a midwife minded doctor who was recommended by the midwives and found out today that she is part of a team of doctors and may not even be there for the birth. I of course asked who would be delivering my baby early in my pregnancy but I was lied to. I am very healthy and the baby appears to be as well but so far it has been a battle to keep the interventions to a minimum (and I have not given birth yet). The whole experience has been awful and I don't know what to do. I hate that I don't get a choice in my care at all. I've never been a fan of private health care but I would pay a lot to escape the hospital model right now or even have the option of going to another hospital. I hope you are able to find a midwife where you are. It sounds like you have at least a small chance of getting one still as people do change their minds sometimes which can open some spots up. 


I'm a mamma to an amazing little guy and wife to a wonderful husband. I love making stuff from scratch and writing about it on my blog. 

 

www.fourthfloorhomestead.blogspot.com

ali171 is offline  
Old 08-20-2011, 06:59 PM
 
~~Sarah~~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: postpartum land
Posts: 188
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

ah, Canadian midwifery...

Still a long way to go...

 

Have you ladies considered hiring traveling midwives? They are available!


mom to: M born Aug 2011 & K 2yo

~~Sarah~~ is offline  
Old 08-21-2011, 01:45 PM
 
ali171's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto
Posts: 12
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have never heard of a travelling midwife. How do you get a hold of one?


I'm a mamma to an amazing little guy and wife to a wonderful husband. I love making stuff from scratch and writing about it on my blog. 

 

www.fourthfloorhomestead.blogspot.com

ali171 is offline  
Old 08-21-2011, 04:31 PM
 
~~Sarah~~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: postpartum land
Posts: 188
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

PM me...


mom to: M born Aug 2011 & K 2yo

~~Sarah~~ is offline  
Old 08-28-2011, 10:36 AM
 
SierraBella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 970
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Not the same situation.. mine is purely financial. I want a homebirth SOOOO much, but I just cannot afford it :( So, I am forced to go to the hospital this time around.


 In Love stillheart.gif with my best friend & mama to three beautiful little boys! stork-suprise.gif Expecting #4 Oct. 2014!
SierraBella is offline  
Old 08-28-2011, 10:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
onetwoten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,935
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Yeah, I did another round of calling last week to see if any spaces had opened up, and I heard back right away from two of the practices (out of 4) saying no absolutely not, and don't call again, they'll call me if anything changes. Boo erms. We're switching OB's this week, and the new one is a total pushover, which I feel like we could use to our advantage. But she's also new (as in graduated recently), so I'm worried she's going to be too afraid to venture 'from the book'. 

 

le sigh. 


Doula mama, medic daddy and Tenley Harper born naturally 11/29/11 delayedvax.gifbfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

onetwoten is offline  
Old 08-28-2011, 02:45 PM
 
RosieL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,198
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

JJ - How close are you to the next month? I.e. are you due April 30th? Can you call a new practice and see if they're available for May? ;)

 

hug2.gif


Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).
RosieL is offline  
Old 08-28-2011, 03:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
onetwoten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,935
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Unfortunately not. I am due on the cusp, but it didn't make a difference, because they go based on date range, not official month. 


Doula mama, medic daddy and Tenley Harper born naturally 11/29/11 delayedvax.gifbfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

onetwoten is offline  
Old 08-28-2011, 05:55 PM
 
LivingSky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 1,389
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Would you and your DH consider homebirthing with a doula and no midwife? Have you asked around to see if there are any private midwives in Manitoba? I know there are a few practicing here in SK, I'm not sure what their pricing is like though.

Good luck!

Married to my wonderful DH 5/2010, Mom to DS1 Kayden 7-14-2011 wild.gif and DS2 Jakob 8-29-2013 babyf.gif


Owned by Friesians and Drum Horses, plus the dogs, cats, rabbits and chickens

LivingSky is offline  
Old 08-28-2011, 06:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
onetwoten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,935
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I would, but DH is definately not there yet. I would love a UC... maybe for the next baby. 

 

There is apparently one 'underground' midwife, but the person who contacted me about her seemed really really fishy. 


Doula mama, medic daddy and Tenley Harper born naturally 11/29/11 delayedvax.gifbfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

onetwoten is offline  
Old 08-28-2011, 06:57 PM
 
LivingSky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 1,389
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Have you talked to any of your local doulas? It was a doula in Saskatoon who mentioned to me about midwives that weren't with the health region. Maybe a doula in your area can supply you with some other options?

Married to my wonderful DH 5/2010, Mom to DS1 Kayden 7-14-2011 wild.gif and DS2 Jakob 8-29-2013 babyf.gif


Owned by Friesians and Drum Horses, plus the dogs, cats, rabbits and chickens

LivingSky is offline  
Old 08-28-2011, 07:13 PM
 
to-mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 21
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh my god...I can totally relate. Yesterday I bawled my eyes out on the same reason.. I just joined this forum just to vent that exact same problem.. I'm also from Canada and my midwife wants to transfer of care to a doctor and hospital birth if I'm not due by Wednesday...I'm approx 41-42 weeks but I think they are rushing it..as the ultrasounds can be off by 1 - 2 weeks..I'm totally devestated by this and I cant imagine having to birth in a hospital again with total strangers in public and not having my own freedom of birthing but complying with policies and having to birth on my back just because it's easier for them...Sigh..I can go on forever..sorry if I've offended anyone

to-mama is offline  
Old 08-28-2011, 07:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
onetwoten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,935
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

No, I've talked with the local birth community, including one former midwife. There really are no other options unfortunately. 


Doula mama, medic daddy and Tenley Harper born naturally 11/29/11 delayedvax.gifbfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

onetwoten is offline  
Old 08-30-2011, 10:25 AM
 
LivingSky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 1,389
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
to-mama: With midwives regulated by health care, they do have set guidelines that they have no choice but to follow (such as a birth-by date). That said, your midwife should absolutely still be part of your care if you go past 42 weeks, she just can't be the primary health care provider at that point. Have you discussed induction options with her?

As much as I love that midwives are covered by health care in most provinces, it sure does add a lot of red tape greensad.gif I hope you get the birth you want!

Married to my wonderful DH 5/2010, Mom to DS1 Kayden 7-14-2011 wild.gif and DS2 Jakob 8-29-2013 babyf.gif


Owned by Friesians and Drum Horses, plus the dogs, cats, rabbits and chickens

LivingSky is offline  
Old 08-30-2011, 10:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
onetwoten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,935
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

to-mama-- It might be worth getting your hands on a list of the local midwifery standards of practice. When talking about breech, multiples, etc, all things that would risk us out, DH and I found that in our province anyways, if the midwife believes you will be under better care if she does -not- drop you (ie if you threaten to UC instead of go to the OB) then she is allowed to continue seeing you- since it is in the best interests of the patient. 

 

It's a long shot... but maybe worth a try?

 

ETA:  this is the link, just to give you an idea of what we found when we went looking: http://www.midwives.mb.ca/policies_and_standards/policy-when-client-requests-care-outside-scope-of-midwifery.pdf


Doula mama, medic daddy and Tenley Harper born naturally 11/29/11 delayedvax.gifbfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

onetwoten is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off