TTC in our 20s Graduates - Summer 2011 Edition - Mothering Forums
I'm Pregnant > TTC in our 20s Graduates - Summer 2011 Edition
Maevankayt's Avatar Maevankayt 02:13 PM 08-05-2011

 

 

This thread is an extension of the TTC In Our 20's group!

A place for those of us who have graduated on after receiving our BFPs and for our TTC friends to follow us our journeys!

Let's stay in touch, ladies! 

 

Not a member of the "TTC in our 20s" group but you'd like to join?  Welcome and please join us! All due dates welcome!

 

Due January 2012:

Lactatinggirl, expecting baby #2.

 

Due March 2012:

March 28 - Tantylynn or Teesha, 23 years old. TTC for 20 cycles before a BFP using clomid. Expecting baby #1

 

Due March/April 2012:

Colta, expecting baby #1.

 

Due April 2012:

April 11ish - Maevankat, 28, BFP after 11 months of TTC. Charted for 10 months. Expecting Baby #1

April 13th - Belacmsage, 26, BFP after 6 months of TTC. Expecting Baby #2

 

Due May 2012:

May1-3 - Maryamrose aka Maryam, 26, BFP after 1 cycle. Expecting Baby #1



belacmsage's Avatar belacmsage 04:21 PM 08-05-2011

Great idea Mae! I'm Bela, 26 and due April 13th. This will be #2 for us. We tried for 6 months. Really looking forward to my u/s appointment on the 30th!


colta's Avatar colta 05:20 AM 08-06-2011

Hi! I'd love to join! I'm pregnant with our first baby... after not trying, not preventing for 2 months. (We never thought it would happen that fast). I'm due either late March, early April... we're not sure yet, but once I get my first U/S I'll know.

 

We had a bit of a scare recently... shortly after finding out, I thought I was miscarrying. Everything was fine, but when my hcg was checked... it was discovered that it wasn't rising as quickly as everyone liked, (395 to 599 in 72 hours), but I've since gone back for another draw and my levels rose to 972 in 72 hours, which the doctor was pleased with... so now I'm off to my ob/gyn and onto hoping and praying that everything is alright.


lactatinggirl's Avatar lactatinggirl 11:35 AM 08-07-2011

Hey ladies I'm happy to see that you're expecting! I'm due with my second in January.


Maevankayt's Avatar Maevankayt 12:17 PM 08-07-2011

Welcome everyone! 

 

Colta, thinking of you! I hope everything calms down soon and that baby is healthy and happy! ((hugs))

 

Things have been pretty good here so far. I think the hubby and I are still pretty shocked by this. I mean, we've been TTC for almost a year now, and we've had a few close calls, so it's almost hard to believe that it's finally real. We've now told my sister, my hubby's BFF and her family, and one of my closest girl friends.

 

I've also called one of the local midwife groups and have an appointment with our potential midwife on the 6th. So excited! It's funny, but despite reading a ton of books during TTC, I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing or what to expect.  

 

Hunny and I are planning on waiting until we hit the 12 wk mark (or get the "it should be fine now" from the midwife) before telling our close friends and family. Then, I'm not sure when we'll made a wider announcement. How do you ladies feel about sharing the news? I'm wary, as my Mum lost her first when she was 4 months along, and my SIL had the same thing happen to her maybe a week or two after making her pregnancy announcement to the family. Plus, the attention is a little odd, so I almost want to keep it between us for now. That may change once I feel more secure in the pregnancy.


belacmsage's Avatar belacmsage 03:47 PM 08-07-2011

Mae: We told his parents and my parents so far. If all goes well with the u/s on the 30th then we will tell BIL and DH's BFF as well as my BFF. Because of my increased chance of miscarriage, we won't tell anyone else except those who see me running from the room from morning sickness until around the 3-4 month mark when it become obvious.


colta's Avatar colta 05:37 AM 08-08-2011

We've kinda told everyone at this point.... I don't know how it happened, but it did. We told mine and his parents/grandparent's and siblings... and that's all we planned on telling. We made it clear that given what was going on that there may be something wrong and there is a chance we may lose the baby, just so they were prepared. But then my brother broke the rules and posted on FB, and it just kinda went out of control from there... whistling.gif

 

So... yeah, now everyone knows... not how I had planned this for sure.


Maevankayt's Avatar Maevankayt 08:24 AM 08-08-2011

I'm worried the same thing may happen with me. Already my little sister told her two BFFs, my close friend told her close friend and hubby and when my hubby told his BFF and I guess she screamed when she heard. She has 14 y.o. twins, and I guess they demanded to know what was going on. Unfortunately, 14 y.o. girls aren't the best at keeping things off of FB, so I'm hoping we're safe (Hubby's BFF has 5 kids, and now all of them know. Eep!). We're not planning on telling hubby's family for at least 3 months, so it would be reaaaaaallly bad if it leaked to FB before they heard it from us. (Long story there.... One sister will be devastated. She and I are friends and she is infertile but would be CFBC even if she could have kids. She was REALLY upset with our SIL got pregnant and wouldn't talk to her for months. The other sister is TTC and is on a bit of a baby race to "beat us". The brother's wife had a miscarriage at 4months about 2 months ago. Yeah, kind of a tricky situation.)

 

I'm only planning on telling one other person before our 3month mark, and that's one of my closest friends who lives out of town. She's visiting us at the end of August so I want to take that opportunity to tell her in person :D I hope she isn't mad that I've waited to tell her. 


tantylynn's Avatar tantylynn 10:22 PM 08-09-2011

Great idea! I'd love to join. I'm tantylynn or Teesha, 23 years old and expecting #1 on March 28. We tried for 20 cycles before a BFP using clomid.

 

I'm also at increased chance of miscarriage, but since this is our first baby we wanted to be able to share the news with immediate family so we decided we would. We waited until after my 6 week scan came back with good results. Our families knew we were TTC and starting fertility treatments, so if I'd stopped talking about it for the next 2 months they would have guessed what was going on and we wanted to surprise them! Also, I figured that even if things weren't to go according to plan I would tell my immediate family about that too. Same rule about no FB though...hopefully everyone sticks to it!


Maevankayt's Avatar Maevankayt 01:12 PM 08-10-2011

Welcome Tantylynn, and congrats!! <3

 

We're having a bit of stress here. My husband was sick last weekend with a bad fever/cold thing. I thought I had been really careful and managed to dodge, but last night it hit me like a train. I've been in touch with a nurse, and they think I'm ok for now, so long as the fever stays down but it's so stressful! Hopefully I get better soon and have one less thing to worry about. 


colta's Avatar colta 05:57 PM 08-10-2011

Things have been going well for me so far. I've gotten in touch with my OB and am scheduled for a visit on the 25th. Thankfully I have a 3 day trip away from home next week to keep me busy, so that should be nice.

So far I haven't had a whole lot in the way of symptoms. Major sore bbs that come and go, (some days are worse, some days are better). I haven't had any morning sickness and very little nausea so far, but I'm not surprised. I don't get overly nauseous or vomit ever. I've had the flu every year for the past 7 years and have only vomitted once. Aside from that, I'm exhausted, moody and starving all the time.

 

DH has been great this whole time, very supportive and very eager to help me with anything. So far everything has been good. I just hope when my appointment comes around that there is more good news and nothing bad.


colta's Avatar colta 05:59 PM 08-10-2011

OH!! Just rememberd... just thought I'd throw in that me and DH have already come up with names we're pretty settled on.

 

If it's a girl - Zoey Rose

If it's a boy - Emmett Douglas

 

Both middle names are after my grandparents.


Maevankayt's Avatar Maevankayt 09:25 AM 08-11-2011

Colta, those names are gorgeous! Glad to hear that things are going well!

 

My fever finally broke this morning! I'm so relieved. I was really nervous when it was still around last night (30 hours after it started). I'm on the mend, with only a sore throat remaining.

 

Dh and I are having a bit of an issue with our decision about who to tell. Despite deciding that only our close family/friends would know before the 12 week mark (or first ultrasound, which ever comes first), he wants to tell his work and some online friends. While his work isn't a huge issue, his online friends are mutual friends of his brother in law and brother, which would be such a huge mess if they found out through random internet people rather than us. I'm so happy that he's so excited that he wants to tell everyone, but we have to be on the same page with the same rules for both of us. I really hope he gets that. I'm also not sure how to deal with my work and the whole facebook situation. You see, I'm a part time staff member at a local college, and I've been trying to get a FT job for the last 6 months or so. There's one job I'm in competition for, but if they find out I'm pregnant now, it could cause some major issues. Unfortunately, I have some work people on facebook, and despite being on top of my security and visibility settings, I worry that someone will let something slip prematurely and I'll have hell to pay. (My co-workers can't see my wall, but I think they can see it if I'm tagged in something? I'm not sure. I should create a dummy account to see what they see). This is especially important because I want to wait as long as possible before telling them (after the 12 week mark, after we've told friends and family). Tricky? Definitely. I may have to temporarily block those people and hope they don't notice.

 

In terms of names, this is what we've come up with:

 

 

Boy: For our first, we really love Liam John Robert  (Liam is a name that i've loved since I was 14 when my best friend of the time with in love with a boy of the same name. It's also a short form of William, a name which is found throughout my maternal family tree. In my close family, it's my grandfather's name and my uncle's. John is both my husband's father's first name and my father's. Both of ours Dads have passed away so it was important to us to use that name. It was also my paternal grandfather's name. Robert was my Dad's second name and the name he went by.). We also really love the names Connor and Mason, which we will consider if we have more boys in the future

 

Girl: Jillian. We love this name so much. It's the name of my favourite fictional character from a series I love by my favourite author (Jilly, from Charles de Lint's Newford Series). It's also the name of a woman who's had a huge impact in my life (She spelled it differently, with a G. She was my trainer and the head of the Birth Companion program at Mothercraft. She's a doula and one of the most incredible women I've ever known). For middle name, we aren't sure. We were thinking Patricia (my mother's name, who passed away a year ago), Melanie (my mother's middle name, and another maternal family name), Syianna (a name my sister goes by). I also really love Bridget, Brianna, Bronwyn, Wren, Stella, May, and Kaitlin. For whatever reason, girl names are the ones that the hubby and I can't seem to agree on, with the exception of Jillian.

 

 


Maevankayt's Avatar Maevankayt 01:20 PM 08-17-2011

Well, as feared, we were outed. Sadly, it was kind of my fault. I have a craft blog and I thought I was being sneaky by saying I was working on a big secret craft project. My SIL immediately messaged me on fb, demanding if I was pregnant. We had decided we wouldn't lie to anyone if they asked, so we made the decision to tell all of the in-laws (just the immediate family so far). So far people have reacted well, though I wasn't there to see it all. The one SIL who miscarried recently was told by her husband (my husband's brother) so hopefully she's ok. My SIL who is  also TTC was super thrilled for us, so that's nice (she's the one that figured it out and asked me). The only one we haven't told yet is the other SIL who is infertile and doesn't like children. I really wanted to wait until September to tell her, and even worse, her birthday is this week so I didn't want to take any attention away from that. I hope she handles it ok. We'll have to wait and see. Hopefully those who know can keep their mouths shut. 


colta's Avatar colta 05:30 AM 08-19-2011

I just need to vent a little bit and get this off my chest.

Yesterday afternoon, while me and dh were on a 3 hour drive to visit relatives, I noticed that I was spotting bright red. I've already had this happen once before and was kind of freaked out that it was happening again. 
So, once we got to our relatives and went immediately to the local hospital, which is supposedly one of the biggest and nicest in the province. When we got there it was about 6:30 - 7pm. I was triaged by some very nice nurses and sent to the waiting room and told I wouldn't have to wait long.

Well, by 9:30pm I still hadn't gotten in, I was freaking out a little, but alright.... I expected to wait a bit. At 10pm I was finally brought back and told to put on a johnny shirt. So, we say there for a while. During this time, me and DH heard the doctor, who was speaking well enough for the entire emergency ward to hear him, loudly complain about all the pregnant women he'd had to see that day and that he was sick of them and their problems. He said he felt like making the wait was a good punishment for bothering him so much... and the nurse agreed!

Around 11-11:30pm.... I was asked to leave my room and sit in the hallway on a cold plastic chair because the dr wanted to see another lady in my room... nevermind that she was already in a gynnie room. The emergency ward is in the basement, so I ended up freezing, shivering and generally miserable. DH tried numerous times to get me a blanket, but all of the nurses ignored him. Finally a janitor noticed us sitting there and got me a nicer chair (which she had to fight with one of the nurses to get). She tried to get me a blanket, but the nurses told her to stick to her own job and stop trying to do theirs. 

By 12:30am I was brought back into the room. The dr came in and took a history and checked my heart, lungs and bowels sounds... he kept asking if I was sure I was pregnant and if I was sure I was RH postiive (I donate blood and have my bloodtype on my card). I kept reassuring him that yes... I was pregnant. He barely asked about the bleeding and never bothered to check my cervix or do any kind of pelvic exam.

After he left, I had blood drawn (he wanted to test all the things he questioned me on). And around 1am, he randomly walked in with a small, portable ultrasound. He only spoke enough to tell me to lie on the bed. He didn't show us anything, didn't speak to us... when he was done he just closed the machine up, threw me a towel and left. 

Shortly after that he got some of my tests results back and loudly discussed it with the nurse. They both sounded shocked when the test came back to say that I was actually pregnant. He than gave my nurse discharge instructions and left the floor. 
Finally, at close to 2am the nurse came back with the results and told us everything we already knew and tried to tell them. Nothing was said about the bleeding other than it could be 'normal'. I'm supposed to go into the hospital for scan today, whenever the ultrasound department calls to set up an appointment.

I've never felt so much like garbage then at that hospital last night. I'm a student nurse and I've always wanted to work at that hospital, but I've become so disillusioned with the care I received and the overall experience I had....

Anyway, if you made it this far... congrats. I know that was long, but I just needed to get it out there.


Maevankayt's Avatar Maevankayt 08:31 AM 08-19-2011

colta, I am speechless. I can't believe the nerve of that doctor and those nurses! I've never faced this kind of situation before,  but is there a way that you can make a complaint? It is completely awful that they would punish you for being pregnant! Please don't let this experience ruin your plans for becoming a nurse. My mum was an OR nurse and I can guarantee they aren't all so vile!  I hope, if anything, that you take this experience and become the best, most understanding and compassionate nurse out there.

 

I hope everything is ok now, and that you and baby are healthy and happy. <3


maryamrose's Avatar maryamrose 12:31 AM 08-22-2011

I just got my BFP this morning and I'd love to join! Hi, I'm Maryam. I'm 26 and this is my first pregnancy (and first child). I charted and tried to conceive for just one cycle - I am pretty surprised it happened so quickly! My due date should be early May (1st or 3rd depending on whether I calculate from my last period or conception).

 

I'm still sort of shocked and don't know exactly what to do next. I let my naturopath know and I'm seeing her on September 2nd. Where we'll be in nine months is kind of unclear right now (we're in the process of buying a house in a town 70 miles away, but there have been hiccups in getting to closing), so I have no idea where to start prenatal care. I want a natural birth, and my husband really wants a homebirth (I do too, if I can find a CNM I trust), but it's hard to start a relationship with a midwife when we don't know where we'll be. So I'm puzzling that out right now, and trying to figure out what I can and can't do or eat.

 

We told our parents and they were really excited (my dad is being especially cute about all this) but ALL of them stressed that I shouldn't work out anymore, at all, other than going for walks. I like to run for distance (though in the summer it's more speed-walking), swim, and do weightlifting exercises with my trainer once a week. All of our parents are pretty old-school and think that exercise = miscarriage. It's one thing for them to say, hey, we know you like being active, look into what's safe for pregnancy. But they straight up told me to stop. It's a little confusing.

 

Also, colta, I am SO sorry about your experience. I can relate to parts of your story, and I'm sad that some medical professionals can be so cold. I'm sorry that you didn't get the care you needed and that they stressed you out like that. There are wonderful nurses and doctors out there, and great medical facilities. They may be harder to find, but they exist and do good work. Anyway, I'm so glad that you and the baby are well.


lactatinggirl's Avatar lactatinggirl 10:18 AM 08-22-2011

You don't need to stop exercising. You can continue as entirely normal during your first trimester and then once you're in your second you need to be more careful about ab exercises, but that's about it. There's some guideline that says you shouldn't work out so hard that it makes it so you can't talk at the same time, but it's really up to your previous level of fitness. If you're used to running a ton, your body during pregnancy can still run a ton. Pregnancy isn't an illness, it's just a natural part of life. Oh, and your ligaments and what not will become more flexible with the new hormones, so take extra care not to strain anything.

 

If this is your first pregnancy, you shouldn't even be worrying about miscarriage. It's really unlikely when you don't have a history or some other medical reason to suspect. It's hard not to see all the other women struggling to keep their babies and worry, but just try to relax.


maryamrose's Avatar maryamrose 10:46 AM 08-22-2011

Thank you lactatinggirl. I looked into it and all the current advice is exactly what you said - continue doing what's normal, try not to push yourself to the point where you feel like you're dying, move purposefully, and everything will be ok. We were moving furniture yesterday (not all that difficult for me) and my mother was stunned and told me that I shouldn't lift anything AT ALL. Now, I can see how lifting engages the abs, but I knew that was more of a later pregnancy concern. I'm not worried at all, just surprised that that would be one of the first pieces of advice they give me!

 

What's clear is that I will probably have to fight a lot of misconceptions with our parents, especially those surrounding homebirth and prenatal care. And then probably attachment parenting. And everything else pinktongue.gif


lactatinggirl's Avatar lactatinggirl 08:55 PM 08-22-2011

If I couldn't lift anything my toddler would not be a happy camper. :-P

 

Luckily my mom is pretty naturally minded to begin with and then we accidentally had my daughter in my in-laws' basement. When we told them we were pregnant again they just assumed it would be a home birth. :-P

 

 


colta's Avatar colta 07:51 AM 08-23-2011

First off, I just want to say thanks for all the great support. I have placed a formal complaint the the Patients Relations Rep is now investigating what happened and speaking to the charge nurse as well as the chief of medicine, who will hopefully do some corrective action.

On the flipside of that. I had an excellent and compassionate doctor who listened to me and actually actively participated in my care when I returned for a check up. Unfortunately that's where the good news ends.

I had my ultrasound and had a great ultrasound tech take care of me, but the looks on her face weren't very reassuring. Turns out the ultrasound showed nothing. The tech did both an external and internal scan, but she found no evidence of a baby. The doctors were also concerned about my hcg levels. They said they're extremely low and they are pretty sure they are going to start dropping. I went in on Sunday to have them checked again... and predictibly, they began dropping.

I have since started to bleed like a menstrual cycle and have had af like cramps. This is the end... I've passed numerous clots and the doctors are certain I am having a natural miscarriage. I'm shattered, absolutely destroyed. This is easily the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. Me and DH are at a loss, but we are determined to try again. I feel like that will be the only thing that will allow me to completely move on. The dr has given us the go ahead to try right after my next period, which is what we're going to do... we both want a baby and we're determined now to have one that will stick.

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks to all of you and I hope to see you all again soon. For now I'm leaving this board. But thanks again and good luck to all of you.


maryamrose's Avatar maryamrose 04:05 PM 08-23-2011

I'm so sorry colta *hugs* Hope to see you again soon!


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