first pregnancy... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 10-20-2011, 08:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So this is my first pregnancy and I'm only about 7 weeks in (just found out!)...I am wanting to go with a midwife, but there is only one in my area (I've met with her yesterday and she seems really awesome, shes a CPM, LM). But I'm having some anxiety today about having the baby at home (a water birth). At the moment (obviously not very far in) everything is normal, but since I've never had a baby before I'm not sure if I should do a midwife, or go with an OB. I have an OB that I have been going to and she is nice, but I just hear a lot of people regret doing the whole hospital/OB route...and I'm not interested in pain meds, being induced, or a c-section (unless the c-section is absolutely necessary). Is this just normal "oh my goodness I'm having a baby" nerves, or is this an actual concern? And is a CPM a good enough qualification to do the birthing with just her in my house? 

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#2 of 6 Old 10-21-2011, 12:28 PM
 
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I would wait a few more months before making these sorts of decisions, like where to have the baby, because a lot depends on how the pregnancy progresses later on. I know this is possibly not the opinion of a lot of women on here, but I wouldn't have a first baby at home. There are just too many things that can go wrong with a first baby. First births are nearly always harder and take longer than subsequent ones. And first time mums have no idea of just how painful labour can be, and you might then want to be somewhere where you can have an epidural if you choose to.

 

I also wanted to do everything naturally on my first labour, but in the end my son was posterior, which I didn't know beforehand, and it was incredibly painful, until I got the epidural. After that it was fairly easy. But I also had a 4th degree tear (all the way) and I don't know what would happen if that was to happen at home. You'd probably be taken to hospital to be stitched up again, but I'm not sure.

 

Anyway, for me there would be too many uncertainties with a first birth to have it at home.

 

But my main point is, you're clearly very excited about having a baby which is wonderful, but in a few months' time you can make an informed decision about these things based on how your pregnancy is going.

 

I hope this helps. Good luck!

 

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#3 of 6 Old 10-21-2011, 02:04 PM
 
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To contrast, I had my first baby at home with a midwife. Also did prenatal care with an OB. Long labor, 9'13oz babe, no tearing. Every story is different, every women has their own unique experience and there's no way to predict your outcome.

 

Pregnancy and birth are all about listening to your body, your heart, and your mind.  Pregnancy is also a journey with birth as the ending marathon. Slow down, explore the pros/cons options available to you, and read as many books as you can. Enjoy the journey as no one will walk it with this baby but you, it's an incredible relationship women have with their "indoor" babies.

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#4 of 6 Old 10-21-2011, 02:36 PM
 
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I had my first baby in July of this year. We birthed with a midwife in a private birthing suite (suite in a private home) because we live about 45 minutes to an hour drive to the hospital. We weren't comfortable home birthing that far from the hospital, but the birthing suite was less than 10 minutes transfer to the hospital so it was our perfect middle ground. I had a 12 hour labour with no pain meds and a 9 lb baby at 38 weeks, with a 2nd degree tear. It was my perfect birth and I wouldn't change one single thing about it!

That said, it was *MY* perfect birth, and not necessarily yours. In the end you should choose the birth situation and health care provider that makes YOU feel the most comfortable and secure. You will be the one giving birth, so you need a situation that will allow you to let go of fear and be relaxed. Whatever that place is for you, that is your perfect birth place!

Married to my wonderful DH 5/2010, Mom to DS1 Kayden 7-14-2011 wild.gif and DS2 Jakob 8-29-2013 babyf.gif


Owned by Friesians and Drum Horses, plus the dogs, cats, rabbits and chickens

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#5 of 6 Old 10-21-2011, 03:38 PM
 
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It seems to me, from your post, that you have a lot of reading to do.  Get a lot of varied resources and do your research.  Sometimes natural birth is put out there as the "thing to do", without a lot of rhyme or reason.  Those sorts of feelings are why women feel like failures when things don't go that way.  They feel they were "supposed" to be able to do it (birth or breastfeeding), and first feel guilt, and then, that they have justify what happened.

 

Instead, really, really do your research into this.  Find out what all those ambiguous "if something goes wrong" situations are.  Decide what you want to happen in that situation.  I think a lot of women don't want x, y or z to happen, or do want a,b, and c, but don't understand the WHY of it all.  When you know the WHY, you can change course while you look for the best OUTCOME.  You don't have to trust your care to an ob or a midwife.  I'm not suggesting you UC, I'm simply suggesting that power comes from choice...and you can't choose without knowledge.  Then you can be a team player in your birth, and not just a participant.

 

 


"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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#6 of 6 Old 10-22-2011, 06:24 PM
 
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Well, first and foremost congrats on your first pregnancy!!!  I'm also 7 weeks along, but with #2.  I've also been debating whether to have this one at home or not and am still on the fence.  We had DD at a birthing center -also a Private sweet with a midwife team whom we knew and loved very much -but it was still attached to the hospital "in case."  We spoke in depth about our birthing plan, and they knew we wanted no intervention of any kind, no pain meds, etc etc and we got exactly what we wanted!  I knew then and certainly know now that I would never want to go with an OB.  I actually just finished my masters thesis on this subject, and after doing all that research, nothing scares me more than a typical hospital birth with an OB -but that's me.  As far as having a baby at home -we interviewed the home birthing midwives as well, and they explained that they monitor you closely all the way.  SO they know what position the baby is in before it's born, they know if something is wrong, etc etc and if you need to go to the hospital -then you go.  How far away do you live?  Essentially, what they said to us was -if you're having a complication at home, because of the drive to the hospital, we would make that call 45 minutes before it would be made by the birthing center because they're already there.  SO essentially, you get 3/4 more of an hr to "try" whatever before intervention comes, but if you end up going to the hospital from a home birth -you would have ended up there anyway.  I think it comes down to where you FEEL most comfortable -go with your gut.

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