December 2011 Whatever Ladies Having Babies ~ We are down to one! - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 446 Old 12-09-2011, 05:49 PM
 
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on the necklaces, i'm in the same boat. i have both necklaces on D but i'm thinking i should take one off. the amber one doesn't seem to be helping with the teething. i'm afraid to take the hazelwood necklace off because i'm convinced it helped with the colic/silent reflux.


I took off the hazelwood and I'm going to give the amber a couple more days.  If I don't see any difference, I'll switch them back.  I really feel the hazelwood helped Finn, too.

 


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#122 of 446 Old 12-09-2011, 06:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ugh, y'all. I thought I was out of the woods with AF coming after that spotting a while ago. I was thinking that if she doesn't show about a week after Sean left, it wasn't AF. I just went to the bathroom and there was reddish again. greensad.gif It's been almost a week since Sean left. I'm so depressed over it.

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#123 of 446 Old 12-10-2011, 05:48 AM
 
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Carrie - Love Finn's amber and his pink diaper! I haven't put DS in any of my pink ones yet.

 

As for car rides - it is easy to say - stay at home - but not so easy to do. I don't have day care or what not, but there are things that are needful to do that require a car ride. Now if she screamed bloody murder no matter what, I might rethink that. And she may just not like the dark so much. I think they make a mirror that lights up. I need to check. (she really does like looking at herself in the mirror - it is too funny. DS never really did)

 

Bummer about AF.  That really sucks. I want her to hold off as long as possible! With DS I had spotting at 6 and 10 weeks and a full blown AF at 4 months PP. I haven't had any spotting really this time. so we'll see.

 

Pizza night was so much fun. Gabe had a blast with all the other kids. Norah tried out a bumbo chair and was just GRINNING  - I have to get one now. Cousins are willing to give us one - Yay!

 

And I though your boys were squishy - our friends' 5 month old (he just turned 20 weeks) is nearly 22 lbs! He is a big ball of happy though! I can't imagine. and they still lug around the infant seat because he's not sitting well enough to be in the cart buggy by himself.


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#124 of 446 Old 12-10-2011, 05:53 AM
 
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Blech, sorry about that MW! I'm in the throes of EWCF right now but I've had my cycle back for a while now.

Cloth out and about: Love it! Other than traveling to a different country where I was unsure about my access to a washing machine, I honestly can't think of a situation where cloth would be a hassle. I've even forgot a wet bag before and just dealt with it. Of course DD still has BM poop so it doesn't stink.

Driving when you have a screamer: if I think that DD is not in the mood for the car, I will forgo the trip unless it's for one of two things. If I have to go to work or she has a dr appt. Other than that, nothing is imperative for me to do. DH feels a little differently and takes DD all over the place in the evenings when he has her. But he does stop if she won't calm down after a few mins.

Bummis aplix: JJ have you actually put it in her to see where the laundry tab hits? I put one on DD yesterday and by the time I closed it tightly, the laundry tab was not touching her skin. It was up against the front of the diaper. But DD is skinny for her age.

Newborn sleep behavior: all normal I'm afraid to say JJ! Hugs though. It will get better. Things got a lot easier when we found a soothed that DD would take. She wanted tocomfort suck and was getting too full and would puke. She quickly figured out how to bat the paci out of her mouth if she was still hungry. I remember one bad night when she was about 5 weeks old. I had been holding her for about 6 hours straight. I was so done and just handed her to DH and said deal with her! But then like 10 mins later I was missing her and went back and got her! smile.gif

Busy weekend here. Kids are home so we have to fit like the whole month of December in two days. :/. We are taking cookies, cards and pics of DD to the NICU, PICU and cardiology team this afternoon. Also have tree decorating and birthday celebration to do! Wow!

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#125 of 446 Old 12-10-2011, 06:18 AM
 
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O.K. on the laptop now instead of the itouch...much better typing!

 

More on the car ride thing...Not sure who mentioned it but light does help DD some. At night, she screams more but if we keep the light on above her seat, it seems to help some. Doesn't fix the problem but it's better. She screams so much though that I'm totally ok going to the grocery store in the middle of the night while she stays at home with DH if it means that she is not stuck in her seat for 40 mins round trip crying. She's getting better though. Yesterday I was able to feed her while we were out and she fell asleep and stayed asleep while I put her in her seat and slept almost until we were home!

 

Naps: Yeah, Baby_Cakes, what is up w/these kids not napping? DD slept about 1 hr TOTAL all day yesterday! She was so exhausted but wired and couldn't fall asleep last night. It was almost midnight before she fell asleep for good. I was exhausted!

 

Pumping: JJ, if you don't have to pump, I would avoid it. It's the biggest pain in the butt. I have to always plan if my pumping supplies are clean before I can leave the house. It's nice to have a freezer stash but if it were me and I was able to nurse and didn't have to go back to work, I would look at handexpressing a few oz here and there to freeze just in case.

 

AFM: I've been working on building up my supply because DD is eating more and my supply had really leveled off. I could go 4-5 hours comfortably w/out pumping. Sometimes even 6 hours. So I started eating a bowl of oatmeal every day and also started taking my thyroid medicine again...yes, I had pretty much stopped taking it because I could never remember. But I had my TSH level tested and it was the highest it's ever been...so now I try to remember every morning. Anyways, my milk supply is definitely increasing! I'm having to pump every 2-3 hours now and the other night at work, I walked downstairs to the kitchen and felt something wet on my shirt. I looked down and I had started to leak! That hasn't happened since DD was like 6 weeks old! So crazy! But I'm getting more milk and that's good. Oh and I donated about 10 oz to one of my friends the other day. She had a bunch of blood blisters on her nips apparently (ouch!) and they burst and the LC said she needs to take it easy on the pumping/nursing for a few days. So I gave her some of my milk to tide her over. I had previously donated some milk to a couple of our other friends and we are all in a birth group together. One of the other ladies messaged me the other day and said I was like the "wet nurse for birth circle"....hahhaha! Best compliment I've received in a while! Oh and don't worry, MW, I still have about 120 oz in the freezer at DD's godmother's house and starting to freezer more so there would be plenty for D if needed!


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#126 of 446 Old 12-10-2011, 06:44 AM
 
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Annie - sounds like good news all around! I could totally donate some if I were willing to pump more. but I am not! i really don't enjoy it.

 

Gabe didn't nap yesterday either. at least he was cheerful!

 

need an abbreviation for "holding baby @ keyboard" I dont nurse and type at the same time, but I do hold her in one arm and type with the other.


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#127 of 446 Old 12-10-2011, 08:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Annie ~ Is the itouch like the iPad or is it a phone? I really want to get something like the iPad (not necessarily that one) but am a little nervous about having to do everything on the screen. I thought I'd love my phone that's only touchscreen without a qwerty keyboard. My older phone had to be flipped open and sideways to text and that got to be a pain fast. But typing on the touchscreen is a pain, too. at least half the time my finger hits the wrong letter and it's hard to get that cursor to just the right spot to make a correction.

That reminds me. I need to get your contact info so I can give it to my husband and parents, jic. Would you PM it to me or send me a message on FB?

Well, I have no idea what's going on with this spotting. It ended up being only that one time last night and nothing since. Not that it matters, but can you still rely on LAM if you've had spotting but have not had AF? I was thinking last night that I'd rather deal with menopause than with AF knowing it's of no purpose. If I have it for too long, I'm afraid I might start wanting to be pregnant again. But I know that, practically speaking, I cannot have another child. I can't handle it and Sean would not consent, anyway. I don't want to deal with depression over cycling and not being able to get pregnant.

I really don't think it's that hard to stay at home. Sometimes you have to make concessions for the baby and, obviously, your lifestyle will change after having a baby. If that means you can't go out as much as you used to for a short time, then that's how it is. It's not a big deal.

I was thinking more about the older kids. When we got to Ethan's basketball practice after Dylan screaming in the car for so long, Ethan said he couldn't go in because he had such a headache from all the screaming. He would have much rather stayed home so that we didn't have to listen to D cry and scream. So, I think even kids get that sometimes you just can't do as much as you used to because you have a baby. He has never expressed any resentment toward D for anything like that.

Oh, what illnesses was Dr. Sears talking about that kids get 8-10 times a year? I don't know. I think he used the word sick rather than illness, if that makes a difference. It was in response to a woman who was paranoid about germs around her kids to the point that it was unhealthy. I assume that he meant sickness from contagious viruses, so colds and stomach viruses. shrug.gif

ya know, sean is just in CA. he's working regular hours. he could call every day. but he's only called once and texted once at almost midnight here. and he wonders why i feel so disconnected from him.

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#128 of 446 Old 12-10-2011, 08:28 AM
 
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need an abbreviation for "holding baby @ keyboard" I dont nurse and type at the same time, but I do hold her in one arm and type with the other.



I just say 1ht.  (one hand typing).  Sums it up!

 

Annie - that's AWESOME!  Yay for more milk!!

 

JJ - re: pumping, I'd give it at least til 4 weeks.  If you need to pump here and there before then, I would say go ahead, but I wouldn't deliberately set a time for pumping until milk supply is better established.

 

AFUs - Nora is still having fevers from that damn shot.  I'm over it.  I'm going to figure out a way to stop this insanity and get an exemption from having her get the 2nd one, or a from getting another flu shot ever again.  This is redic!! rant.gif


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#129 of 446 Old 12-10-2011, 09:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i took D's hazelwood necklace off last night and kept just the amber one on. he slept wonderfully even though he's congested from a cold. i think he only woke to nurse twice. i say think because sometimes i'm not fully conscious of what's going on. I woke up around 5 am and tried to nurse him to get myself back to sleep and to, hopefully, keep him from waking again too soon. So, maybe he's over the colic/reflux and only needs the amber for teething.

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#130 of 446 Old 12-10-2011, 09:20 AM
 
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i took D's hazelwood necklace off last night and kept just the amber one on. he slept wonderfully even though he's congested from a cold. i think he only woke to nurse twice. i say think because sometimes i'm not fully conscious of what's going on. I woke up around 5 am and tried to nurse him to get myself back to sleep and to, hopefully, keep him from waking again too soon. So, maybe he's over the colic/reflux and only needs the amber for teething.


That's great!!

We had the opposite night.  Finn was very squirmy and at 4am or so I put him back in the cosleeper after nursing, and he had some silent reflux and then milk went up in his sinuses.  That hasn't happened in weeks.  I felt bad for him.  greensad.gif


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#131 of 446 Old 12-10-2011, 09:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That's great!!

We had the opposite night.  Finn was very squirmy and at 4am or so I put him back in the cosleeper after nursing, and he had some silent reflux and then milk went up in his sinuses.  That hasn't happened in weeks.  I felt bad for him.  greensad.gif


uh oh. maybe you need to put the hazelwood back on and wait on the amber? how badly does he seem to be teething?

D has another white dot under his bottom gum. it's at the spot of the 2nd tooth on the left. strange because i thought he was supposed to get his two top front teeth next. i keep checking up there but don't see anything.

i keep trying to get a shower but it's not happening. D fell asleep while nursing but as soon as i put him down he woke up and cried. now he's sitting on my lap as awake as ever. i may have to do the bumbo in the shower again.

did i tell you guys i do that sometimes? i know it says not to use in the bath but i figure it's ok because i'm in there with him and i'm not filling the tub. he's not quite ready for the bath chair i have.

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#132 of 446 Old 12-10-2011, 10:22 AM
 
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did i tell you guys i do that sometimes? i know it says not to use in the bath but i figure it's ok because i'm in there with him and i'm not filling the tub. he's not quite ready for the bath chair i have.


I think that's fine.  I think they mean not to use it as a bath seat in a tub.  Even if you did tho, you'd be right there so I don't see the big deal.  A lot of these warnings are common sense warnings for ppl who have none, I think.

 

I had my first shower in 3 days last night!  I made sure it was a long hot one!!  I hope you get one today!  

 

Oh - meant to say -- I think DD got 4 bottom teeth before her top ones came in.  Anything is possible.  D might just get his out of order.


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#133 of 446 Old 12-10-2011, 10:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I had my first shower in 3 days last night!  I made sure it was a long hot one!!  I hope you get one today!  

 

Oh - meant to say -- I think DD got 4 bottom teeth before her top ones came in.  Anything is possible.  D might just get his out of order.


that's why i wait so long before just taking a shower with D. i can't have it as hot as i like when he's in there.

i've been meaning to look at E's tooth chart since he got his early, too.

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#134 of 446 Old 12-11-2011, 06:13 AM
 
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My diapers don't smell!! banana.gif  We are in business!!


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#135 of 446 Old 12-11-2011, 11:09 AM
 
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MW, I have an ipod Touch. I like it a lot for just browsing but when I want to reply, it's a pain in my butt but that's because I'm not fond of the touchscreen and I type really fast w/a keyboard so it feels like it takes me forever to respond to a post on the itouch. But I'm getting used to it. It's helpful when DD is in the hospital and I don't have to lug around a laptop.

 

Baby_Cakes, yay for stink-free dipes! We used sposies again at the hospital last night and I've got to say, I DO NOT understand the pull to use them. DD peed and it went everywhere! Maybe I don't know how to put them on anymore because I'm used to the cloth? I don't know. But we have to use them in the hospital because they have to weigh her dipes to measure  her urine output so I just have to deal with it. All the nurses loved her cloth though!


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#136 of 446 Old 12-11-2011, 01:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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carrie ~ yay for no stink. what finally worked? i've been meaning to tell you that i tried a regular wash with the rockin' green i have and i was not impressed. my dipes stank when i took them out, which they normally don't do with the charlie's soap.

annie ~ i'm clueless. is that a phone or a computer?

couldn't you weigh her cloth dipes before putting them on? then you could just weigh them after a change and subtract.

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#137 of 446 Old 12-11-2011, 02:44 PM
 
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I probably could have them do that. Only trouble is that I use a variety of different dipes so they all have a different starting weight. But if I got another set of Flips, I could probably just use those when we go in the hospital for the next surgery. DH would need to be willing to take home the dirty ones, wash them and return them. He would probably be open to that as long as he is not having to take care of the other kids. Hopefully we will only be in the hospital for a week or so next time. He doesn't mind washing them now but things get a little crazy when DD is in the hospital.

 

The ipod Touch is small, like an iphone but you can't make phone calls with it. Here's a link to one http://www.amazon.com/Apple-iPod-touch-8GB-Generation/dp/B001FA1O0O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1323639828&sr=8-1

 

 


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#138 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 05:42 AM
 
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Annie - love FLIPs! super easy too. before we switched to pockets, they were DH's favorite diaper. I would certainly give a shot next time you are in the hospital. Why not?

 

Carrie - yay for no stink!

 

So .  .  . DH and I finally DTD (first time since Norah), and I have to say I am pleasantly surprised. I thought especially with all the tear and repair I had down there that it would be really different, or uncomfortable and it was neither. and even with a condom! DH must have been feeling super deprived because he went for 2 nights in a row, and we usually do at most frequent EOD (unless TTC, and even then that's really rare. The last time I think was when we conceived DS! - nearly 3 years ago. Is is sad I know that?) - at any rate. had to share. That's my TMI for the day.

 

Had a great and busy weekend, now back to work :( and it's going to be a busy week too!  less than 2 weeks to Christmas, I am really looking forward to it.


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#139 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 06:31 AM
 
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Hooray for DTD, Kat!  It's one of those milestones isn't it?  We were at least 8 weeks out before we tried and while it wasn't painful, it wasn't exactly fun for me.  I had him hurry it up, lol.  Sigh, DTD is the one thing DH and I aren't seeing eye to eye on these days.  He is feeling very deprived and wanting to do it and I just...don't.  I could seriously never have sex again and I'd be fine.  I'm up to my ears in kid-business, I'm still feeing frumpy, still dealing with some prolapse issues, and I'm TIRED.  He keeps making all these little comments and obviously wants it but we have seriously different needs.  I'd do it but I wouldn't enjoy it.  I wouldn't tell him that but that's what would happen. 

 

The diapers -- I'm so happy.  All I did was line dry the covers and machine dry the inserts like the manufacturer says.  lol.gif  I'm thinking that's all it was.  I was drying the covers on low and I bet the funky fishy smell was actually plastic.  I had DH put up a retractable clothes line and I'm going to keep it up, and hope for the best.

 

I cant wait for Christmas either.  I'm really excited to see how it goes this year with DD being more into it!  I'm also hoping Santa gets me what I asked for, lol.  I've got my eye on a jogging stroller.

 

JJ - did you guys get your jogging stroller?  Weren't you worried about people buying it or not?  Which one was it again?

I'm looking at this one now:

 

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=joovy+jogging+stroller&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=6372807385848078222&sa=X&ei=3AHmTqf7G-HW0QGMhLDnBQ&ved=0CK0BEPMCMAQ

 

I wanted the Baby Jogger Elite but this one is cheaper and gets pretty good reviews.  I'm not sure why only the red one is $199 but I like the red the best anyway.

 

MW - did AF show up full blown? What a pain.  I was meaning to ask you about that and kept forgetting!!  Yesterday and this morning I've been crampy like AF is coming, and having lots of CM.  I keep thinking it's starting but nothing yet.  Ugh.  Not looking fwd at all.

 

 

 

 


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#140 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 07:18 AM
 
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I hear you on the differing needs; only it's usually me on the other end of the spectrum. If I wouldn't get seriously sore, I could totally do every day. DH most of the time is a take it or leave it kind of guy. No matter where you are on the spectrum, it is really frustrating. And hard to talk about, because no matter what, it seems like you're complaining or nagging (at least it does when I go over the conversation in my head LOL) and I hate to complain and nag.

 

I guess the question is: do you want to be in a place where you are wanting more sex? or are you pretty content where you are? (I mean, I know where your DH wants you to be, but where do YOU want to be?) If you do want change then maybe you need to find a few minutes where you can clear your head and get into non-kid mode. (easier said than done, I know) I am grateful I can switch back and forth ok. I remember reading on one of the forums here, in regards to DTD and co-sleeping or maybe BF'ing, that some mamas BF while DTD, and I tell you, I just can't wrap my head around that. DS used to wake when we were  . . in media res . . . and I could go nurse him back down to sleep (he was in the co sleeper or his crib) and get back to DH. But can't do both at the same time. 

 

But, back to the question at hand, are you able to, or do you want to do like a date night with your DH? even if it is just the two of you at Starbucks for an hour? that might help a little.

 

Though the prolapse thing throws a big wrench in it - beyond a pessary and kegels, is there much that can be done non-surgically? I am way rambling today.

 

I wish we could line dry! the HOA has a thing against clotheslines. Idiots. But so glad you are able to use your cloth stink-free!

 

and FX you get what you want for Christmas!

 

I am hoping for gift cards. I want to shop for myself! (I am not really fond of much of what my MIL or DH's grandma buys for me that they think is soooo ME. It is usually really loud colors and boxy also don't take into consideration nursing. Can't blame them to not think of that really)

 

 


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#141 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 07:39 AM
 
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I would love to want it more.  I would love to get back to where we were before getting pg with Finn - couple times a week, nothing too crazy, lots of fun.  I know we'll get back there once I'm not so tired and things settle down.  But DH thinks its the end of the world!

A date would be awesome.  I'm hoping in the next month, we can get MIL to babysit both kids for us.  I think for a few hours midday it would be fine, especially on a weekend if my FIL and BIL are also there.  I would love dinner and a movie.  I want to feel HUMAN again.  

I love my kids, they are the best.  But I'm finding that having two littles leaves me with very little to enjoy outside of them.  I still have my own interests and wants and needs, but I never really get to explore them.  So.  A "date night" with DH would be great.

 

Oooh, I could never bf while dtd.  I get a little squicked.  Too much "use" of my body and not enough personal enjoyment, lol. 

 

I've been doing my kegels till I'm blue in the face at night (actually just while I'm laying down falling asleep) and while I do feel a difference, I think it's going to take more time.  Mine are bladder and rectal, luckily my cervix is where it's supposed to be.  Nothing is painful, it's just sometimes uncomfortable.  And nothing is "in the way" if we DTD, but I think I"m just more aware that something is still off down there, and it makes me clam up.  I just don't want to "visit the issue" with DH.  

 

I set my clothesline up in the basement.  Do you have some place to put it inside?


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#142 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 08:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Two things about desire to DTD. First, I would guess that any lack of desire at this point is from BFing. The hormones needed for that are really good at killing the sex drive, another way it works as birth control. Second, obviously, being exhausted from taking care of two kids can kill it. It's hard to get in the mood after spending all your time and energy taking care of everyone else and not knowing when or how much sleep you will get.

On that note, I think that if the man wants more sex, he needs to step up and take on more home responsibilities so that mom can get some rest and recuperation. I know I feel a lot more loving toward Sean when he takes care of me and the kids. I also love it when he does housework. I read in a successful marriage book recently that the husband doing housework is the #1 turn of for married women. So get those guys an apron and a vacuum and put them to work! lol.gif

I want to put a clothesline in my back yard but I don't know if there are any rules against it. If there are, they would be city or county since we don't have a HOA. I didn't know they made retractable ones. The main thing that has kept me from pushing Sean to do it is that I didn't always want a line running across the yard and those ones that look like umbrellas don't work well for sunning. I'm thinking that, with a retractable one, I wouldn't even need to put poles up. I could attach one end to the house and the other to the fence or something like that.

I weighed myself this morning (I do every Monday). I'm now less than 3 lbs. above my pre-pg weight. thumb.gif

JJ ~ Revisiting the bedtime thing. I would suggest not trying to hard to get baby to go to bed at a certain time every night. Trying anything like that always ended in major frustration for me. Babies sleep and wake around the clock. They don't know day from night, really. Just get sleep or rest whenever you can as baby sleeps. Things will even out and become more regular as time passes. There's no need to try to force such a young baby into your idea of a regular schedule yet.

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#143 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 09:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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carrie ~ about AF, no, nothing. i've had 3 episodes of just the tiniest bit of pinkish spotting since just after thanksgiving. each time it has only been once or twice when i wiped, not all day and none on my panties. i wore a liner yesterday when i went shopping jic and nothing happened. i did have one huge glob of what appeared to be EWCF the first week that sean was home before the first spotting. there was no mistaking it.

idk what it is. i've had mucous continually. it's that kind that always confuses me. it's clear and slippery when i wipe but not enough to grab hold of and stretch. it may just be creamy or it could be ewcf that's just not enough to stretch. shrug.gif i think creamy was my BF BIP in the past. TCOYF says 2 weeks of the same CF not getting wetter is the BF BIP but i don't think that includes EW.

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#144 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 09:19 AM
 
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JJ - ITA agree WRT sleeptimes for baby. DD is 2 months old and I've always just put her to bed whenever we go, even though sometimes she's been sleeping for a couple hours in her rocker downstairs, or sometimes is sort of awake. In that case she just lays next to me on the bed (sometimes nursing, sometimes not) until she falls asleep. But then, DH and I don't have a set bedtime for ourselves either. the earliest we really go is 11:30. sometimes it as late as 1 a.m.

 

Are you using the co-sleeper at all (or pack n play) or is Tenley just in the bed with you? and are you on one story or two? I think a routine is more important than a schedule; if you are on one story (or don't mind trodging up and down stairs) I say lay her down in her co-sleeper/pack and play/crib/your bed after one of her evening feedings -whenever it seems like she might sleep for a bit after. For DS, it was around 9 or 10 o'clock I think when he usually had his last of the night. then you get a little bit of adult time to do whatever - clean if that is your thing, or read, or watch TV with DH, before you go to bed. DS started taking his long stretch of sleep pretty early in life, so he'd sleep from that 9 or 10 o'clock nursing to between 2 and 4 in the morning. then he'd nurse usually every hour afterwards.

 

If you are on 2 stories, like we are, I do the same thing, except find a safe spot for DD to sleep in downstairs and bring her up to bed when we go. The main difference is sometimes this wakes her up and I need to nurse her back down. She will normally sleep until about 5 a.m. no matter what time she's nursed last. Last night, for example, we went up to bed around 12:30, and she nursed then, and I put her in the pack and play. I brought her in bed with us to nurse and cuddle some more around 1:30 or 2. Sure enough she woke around 5 to nurse, and 6. then she slept until 8ish. but I really do try to focus on just a routine and not the time. because I am not a stickler for schedules for myself, it is hard to impose that on the kids.

 

Carrie - totally try to manage that date night as soon as you can! That is one plus to living with the ILs, we can go out pretty much whenever. I do take DD with us though. She's little enough that she's not a disruption or distraction, and also I don't think IL's could handle both at once. My parents can and have though :) I am a rambling machine today! LOL


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#145 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 09:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

idk what it is. i've had mucous continually. it's that kind that always confuses me. it's clear and slippery when i wipe but not enough to grab hold of and stretch. it may just be creamy or it could be ewcf that's just not enough to stretch. shrug.gif i think creamy was my BF BIP in the past. TCOYF says 2 weeks of the same CF not getting wetter is the BF BIP but i don't think that includes EW.


I haven't had any EW, just creamy/lotiony.  It's clear, not whitish, so I hesitate to call it creamy.  But no way is it EW.  

 

I can't believe I'm already talking CM!!  I want more time not to worry about it.  LOL.  We still haven't 100% decided on a vasectomy.  I had a dream (nightmare??) the other night that DH was adamant about having a 3rd and was refusing the surgery.  I woke up panicked!!  lol.gif

 

Oh - and JJ - I agree w/MW about the bedtime routine.  It'll come to life on its own.  These days we have it down to a time on the clock pretty much, but it wasn't like that at first.  I just went to bed with the baby and DH took over with DD. 

 

Hey -- anyone want to offer advice on how to get DD to accept DH's help?  It's just not working.  I thought there was going to be some huge shift where she'd become more attached to him while I'm busy with the baby, but it's like the opposite.  She's so anti-daddy and it's making things...tricky.  Im trying to be sensitive with her but it's difficult.  DH takes things so personally after so many rejections from her ("No not YOU!!  I want mommy to do it!!)  and honestly he's so willing to help with her and offer to take her places but she wont go.  She claims she'll miss me.  Normal?  Phase?  Thoughts?

 

Kat - we cross posted.  I'd take DS but I think he's old enough now that he'd be fine.  Plus...it just wouldn't feel like a break.  I don't want it to feel like an errand, you know?  Besides, in DH's mind, the kids "come b/w us" enough and I think if I wanted to bring Finn along he'd see it the same way.

If we were going to go to NYC I'd totally bring Finn.  That's a no brainer.  But down the road for dinner?  Nah.

 


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#146 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 09:58 AM
 
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Finn is older too - and probably awake a lot more. For us, DD sleeps nearly 100% of the time we are out. I would totally leave him for dinner and a movie with DH at his age.

 

Gabe with us definitely does not = a date night! he's work!

 

I wish I could help with the DD/DH thing. Is there anything they've done in the past that is mostly a daddy/daughter thing - like a particular book?  or activity? or anything that they could do (daddy daughter mani-pedi's? LOL)? Is she old enough that a bribe/reward thing might work, like "if you let daddy put you to bed tonight without fussing, you and mommy will do xyz tomorrow?" or a sticker chart that she can kind of earn a big thing, like a whole outing with you to herself or something? I don't know if any of that would work. Just an idea. DS is too young for that to work. The only thing that kind of does is joint time with DH on the iPad. He loves playing on it with him.


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#147 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 09:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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my dh says the same thing about the kids coming between us. frankly, i think that's really immature. blaming the kids for you not getting enough attention (sex) isn't going to endear me to you. there are ways to work around the kids being there to still stay connected. it just takes a bit of imagination.

idk about getting DD to accept dad's help. i think trying to force it will only make it worse. could your dh take Finn instead so you can focus on Nora? they say it doesn't have to be a lot of time, even just 5 minutes could help. does your dh do fun stuff with her that doesn't involve trying to get to to go to bed or take a bath or whatever it is you are trying to get him helping with? maybe some plain old Nora dictated fun time with dad would help. ask her what she wants to do with dad.

in the meantime, you may just have to wait until she's a little older. i think it's around 3yo that kids naturally start to move away from mom and toward dad but dad has to be present and positively involved in daily life. Nora is just 3 so she needs more time. and i think you have to be careful that she doesn't feel like she's being pushed away from you in favor of Finn.

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#148 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 10:09 AM
 
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Bribes and promises and what not don't work, we've tried.  And DH is always around b/c he works from home.  After he "gets home" he plays with her and they have a blast -- then bedtime rolls around and she starts with "I don't LIKE you anymore, I want MOMMY to do it!" and if we push it, she'll start crying and get very upset.  Not worth it, so I cave and do bedtime.  It's actually ok b/c she does go to bed easily, but I inevitably fall asleep with her, and then once I wake up DH is either waiting up for me to see if I'm "in the mood" (which I never am, I just woke up, you know?) and then I usually dream feed Finn and we all go to bed.

 

In the middle of the night when/if she wakes up is the tricky part.  LOL last night she came into our bed and squished herself in the middle. I was up already nursing Finn.  She was right by his feet/butt and he farted right in her face.  She asked to go back to her bed with me when he was done eating. biglaugh.gif  Mama's bed isn't so nice and comfy when you're squished b/w Daddy and Farty Finnley! 

 

I think DH's attitude is stupid and immature too, MW, but if that's how he feels then he's entitled to those feelings.  I don't agree with them, but I'm not him and I can't imagine how pushed out he feels.  I mean, DS and I are basically one unit.  He helps where he can but as long as I'm feeding him and taking care of him all the time, DH is just a helper.  Now DD doesn't want anything to do with him.  I bet he's feeling very 3rd wheel.  I try to make him feel appreciated and loved (I think i'm pretty nice and I always to nice things for him, make him lunch, compliment him, kiss him when he walks by, etc) but it's not the same to him.  It doesn't make me want to have sex with him though, you're right about that. 

 

 

 

 


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#149 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 10:39 AM
 
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It may sound silly, but is bedtime that big a thing to have him do? If it really isn't something that needs to change, I say why mess with it. It seems like he gets lots of daddy and Nora time between work and bedtime. For me, it is the morning where I need help the most.

 

It does seem like the middle of the night thing is working out ok.

 

I know with nursing mama+baby are pretty inseparable, although is there awake time between feedings where he can take over? (maybe even take both kids you can get some "you" time to feel more . . . you?) I don't think it is entirely unreasonable for him to want some time with you to himself - even if it's not for sex. Maybe that's because I feel the same way, only I'm usually edged out by electronic devices LOL. Though maybe you need to let him know that he doesn't need to wait up. You will be sure to let him know when you are in the mood, so to speak, if that should happen. (in a nice way of course). He needs to do his part though to make sure you are willing - seems mostly that involves helping out with the kids. It is great that he at least tries to help.

 

Love the farty finnley!


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#150 of 446 Old 12-12-2011, 10:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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maybe just changing the way you view that time with nora would help. instead of thinking of it in negative terms of her rejecting dad and you caving, try to think of it in positive terms, maybe an example of how much she loves you and what a good mom you are. kids are really good at feeling our negative energy even when we may not be aware of it so changing that energy may help.

i agree that he is entitled to his feelings but they are his responsibility, not yours. if he wants something to be different, he needs to take positive action to change it. i'm not saying that you should ignore him. but, again, if he wants more of your time and attention, he needs to free it up for you.

it's like sean telling me he wants to have more time for just us. he'd like to go to dinner or a movie or whatever, and then expecting me to do something about it. if he wants to go out without the kids, he needs to find a babysitter, check with me about what day/time is good and set all of that up. if he doesn't, then he's just putting one more thing on me to do and i've already got too much so that's not going to happen. KWIM? You can be sure that if I wanted to go out, I'd schedule a babysitter and all that other stuff.

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