Which pregnancy cautions drive you craziest? - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-09-2011, 12:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sure some warnings are legitimate and some are not, but most seem to fall in to the big, grey category of We're Not Sure.  What have you read or heard that you should stop doing, that is driving you craziest?

 

Here's my list:

 

Hot baths/showers (I just limit mine in time - I refuse to take a cool shower in winter)

Nearly all herbs, including basil, parsley, and ginger

Foot massages (to avoid pressure points)

Oral sex on the pregnant female (yes, I've read this in multiple places)

The only yoga positions I am any good at, e.g. the shoulder stand and the plough

Kombucha, even though it now comes in this awesome cherry chia flavor that I only got to try two times before I became pregnant

 

I'm surprised at how little the no alcohol thing is bothering me, as I have been known to enjoy wine and cocktails in the past.  I honestly don't care now.  The caffeine thing bothers me a little bit, but I was well prepared for it.  Most of the items on my list were brand new to me when I read them.

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Old 12-09-2011, 06:49 PM
 
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Whoever is writing those lists is being *ultra* cautious IMO. When you say "driving you the craziest" do you mean because they're so ridiculous or because you find it hard to avoid them? Personally, I don't think you need to avoid most of the things on that list.


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Old 12-09-2011, 07:30 PM
 
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I think the oral sex is on there because you don't want any air getting up your vagina.  I don't remember why, but something can burst/break/bleed...haha I remember details really well.

 

I don't care for/ignore these ones:

 

Hot bath/shower - I take one almost every night.  I just make sure I don't feel overheated.

Caffeine - I have at least one serving a day, if not more

Sprouts - I eat them occasionally and I never know if it just means alfafa sprouts or like bean sprouts or those little pea shoots too.

 

 

What really bugs me is the "consult a physician" on everything.  I tried consulting a physician when I was pregnant with my first because cough drops said that on the package.  Nobody in the doctor's office could give me a straight answer.  My current midwife says pretty much all the "consult" stuff is precautionary and everything is fine in moderation. 


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Old 12-09-2011, 10:26 PM
 
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....like... Not to be vulgar or ignorant, but... What the hell kind of cunnilingus pushes air up your vagina?? lol.gif


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Old 12-10-2011, 12:33 AM
 
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My annoyance list:

 

No fish...(I eat it anyways and chicken makes me gag so that only leaves beef)

Avoid junk food 

Avoid microwaves..(right! ok so no popcorn then?lol)

Hot baths 

Avoid stress (ok this one is actually kinda hard to do bc a lot of things annoy me while pregnant LOL)

 

 

And Alcohol...only bc Im craving a Mojito or my other fav a "Painkiller" ....yum pineapple and rum and then some!  


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Old 12-10-2011, 04:01 AM
 
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Why no fish? I was told "no raw fish" because of listeria and other such concerns, but cooked fish?

 

Hot baths - I still take them, I use the thermometer to check the water temperature. Body temperature + 1 makes for a nice hot bath.

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Old 12-10-2011, 05:54 AM
 
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Um, the people who make these lists would absolutely die if they could see my diet! ROTFLMAO.gif

 

I eat more raw, fermented and otherwise "living" food during pregnancy than at any other time. Generally speaking, my family consumes as much raw/fermented/living food as is possible...and I believe we have our great health to show for it.

 

The milk we drink is raw, the yogurt and cheeses we eat are made from raw milk, I make my own kombucha and ferment a lot of other things such as cabbage, etc (kimchee) whatever....I eat as many fried eggs with runny yolks as I can and absolutely do not limit my raw meat diet. I love raw meat. I love sushi, raw beef, undercooked organ meat recipes....I consume a LOT of things that are huge "no nos" with all of these list makers.

 

 

Here's the thing though...all the raw milk/cream we consume is "from the udder fresh"...and raw milk has not actually been shown to be dangerous at all. Not only that, but there is a mountain of science to suggest that not only is pasteurized dairy almost completely useless nutritionally speaking (yeah, "even though it's fortified"), but the pasteurization process actually renders the milk very harmful to the body due to the way it breaks down as your body digests it.

 

The seeds and beans, etc that we eat sprouted are our own...I sprout them myself, they are fresh as rain and completely safe. Not only that, but the life and health supporting qualities of fresh sprouts (they are an absolute SUPER food) are things I would ABSOLUTELY NEVER go without ESPECIALLY during pregnancy.

 

The meat that I consume raw, is grass fed, organically and humanely raised and completely humanely and safely processed by people I know well and is absolutely beyond safe for consumption. If you're looking for ways to consume DELICIOUS raw beef, look for recipes in Weston Price based cook books.

 

 

My frustration in these lists that doctors shove at pregnant women does not lie in the suggestions not to take baths or "spend too much time in the sun" or avoid oral sex or whatever. That's all stuff that's either going to feel stupid to you...or not...whatever. I don't think your health is going to be effected if you refrain from taking warm baths or whatever.

 

But the suggestions to avoid anything but highly processed and pasteurized or irradiated foods....that really freaking gets on my nerves.

 

People, eat living foods....eat fermented foods. Not only is it just BETTER for you...but a lot of the foods we're told to eat, because they're "Safe" etc...are actually BAD for you and do not in any way support our bodies in growing these babies.

 

The enzymes, proteins and mineral content in a lot of the foods they tell us not to consume are absolutely essential for growing a baby and supporting healthy immune systems and breastfeeding, after the baby is born.

 

Women think "oh, I'm taking prenatals, I'm okay" - not realizing that if the prenatal vitamin you're taking, is not a food based, organically produced nutrient supplement...that not only is it almost worthless (your body simply cannot make use of most of what's in it and it doesn't have the "tags" it needs to help your body to know what to do with it...it's synthetic, not organic, your body doesn't recognize it and you just pee it out) but, again, it's actually got crap in it that is REALLY and truly actually bad for you. The heat and light used in the manufacturing process destroys much of what could actually be used and creates compounds that are *actually* not good for your body to try and process.

 

Women think "I avoid ALL the no nos...I'm going to be safe....besides, I eat a leafy green salad every day" - I'm sorry, but when you look around the produce section...please understand, that a lot of what you're seeing is actually not as nutrient rich as we're led to believe. I believe that women who are pregnant during the fall and winter have an EVEN GREATER need for eating raw, sprouted and fermented foods for the fact that we don't have access to locally grown, ACTUALLY fresh, small farm grown fruits and veggies.

 

The foods we can get in the grocery store are not in any way fresh....it takes MANY days for them to get from harvest, to the store bin....and in that time, the product you are seeing is growing less and less nutritious by the day. The sad fact is, though, that it is not all that nutritionally beneficial to begin with. The soil that veggies are grown in, in big agra factory farms, is SOOOOOOO depleted of the natural trace minerals and other elements that used to make veggies SO nutrient beneficial and life supporting...that really, once you put bottled salad dressing (stop eating this, TODAY please, SO bad for your body, please investigate veggie oils and why they are so bad for your body to try and process) on top of it, you're looking at leafy green salad that LOOKS healthy, but is actually not doing as much for your body as you're thinking..and because of that salad dressing and what it's doing to your body to try and process it, you're actually doing more harm than good.

 

 

You want to eat something out of this world good for you??

 

Get some fresh organic sprouts.

Grab some fresh organic pea shoots.

Get a good avocado.

 

Make a bed of sprouts and pea shoots...make it a big ole pile. Slice up that avocado on there....now sprinkle some olive oil* over it, then sprinkle some REAL vinegar on there (unfiltered, raw apple cider vinegar)....easy to make, but if you don't want to, grab some Braggs brand right in the grocery store. Then sprinkle some sea salt and pepper.....and freaking flip out at how delicious this salad is.

 

*make sure you read up on why olive oil can be harmful for you and the effects of rancid olive oil on your health, olive oil goes rancid VERY fast (and people can't tell that it's rancid) and becomes nasty for your body to process, make sure you know how to spot good olive oil and keep it properly so it;s fresh...if you're eating olive oil that's gone bad, you may as well be eating canola oil. :(

 

You will be eating LIVING food.....please, if when I say that...you have absolutely no idea why eating food with whole proteins and enzymes and all of that is good....consider please, that it means you don't know why eating foods that are essentially DEAD are bad.

 

Here are a couple of links that I think are good for people who have no idea about all of this (I'll use Dr Mercola links because I know a lot of people know his name and maybe won't think he's "fishy" or something):

 

Fermented Food: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2004/01/03/fermented-foods-part-two.aspx

 

Raw Milk (EASY read, please, if you drink processed milk, read this): http://www.mercola.com/article/milk/no-milk.htm

 

What happens to food when you cook it: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2002/05/22/cooked-food-part-one.aspx

 

Do you like sauerkraut? Do you know that real, unpasteurized kraut is SO good for you that it's not even funny? You can get it in most grocery stores now. Look for it. It's not really more expensive than the dead kind....and the dead kind is, well, dead. Raw milk is safe. Find a farmer, get it. Most people I know who don't have something to milk themselves, have found a "cheaper than in the store" raw, organic milk option.

 

Go to amazon and buy a sprouting kit:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Quart-Glass-Sprouter-Sprouting-Strainer/dp/B000N8FGLC/ref=sr_1_7?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1323520810&sr=1-7

 

Easy....ten bucks and you're starting some sprouts in your house and eating something SOOOO freaking delicious and GOOD for you, that it's not even funny. I pay practically NOTHING and it takes practically NO time for me to have a continuous supply of some of the most nutrient dense, yummy salad material you can find. Outside of the summer season, we don't even eat salad with lettuce! If we can't get it fresh from the ground, we skip lettuce all together and make our salads out of different sprouts, shoots, etc and it's SO freaking good, like SERIOUSLY yummy.

 

 

Look, I know a lot of people think "yeah, but to eat so healthy all the time like that takes so much money!" - that is a myth. I am not a wealthy person. In fact, money is SUPER tight for us. But we eat like kings.....because we've taught ourselves how. Eating good food in pregnancy is more than important because you have to support your body in creating this life...you are preparing your child GENETICALLY with the foods that you eat, for life. There are mountains of evidence that suggest that our bodies take huge cues from what we eat, to genetically design our children for life outside the womb.

 

Please do not restrict your diet to foods that offer practically NO nutritional value for you and your baby. If this is your first pregnancy, don't worry, your body is going to steal everything it needs from your own stores, to support this life (but you should still be hyper focused on eating healthy)....the people who are running real risks are those of us on our second, third + pregnancies. Our bodies have already been looted for nutrient stores...we've got to be feeding our bodies what they need.

 

Do not look to the back of a label on a can of corn and expect to see the truth about the nutritional value of that product. Please do not think, that if you are drinking milk, you are getting the calcium you need to help your bones or to help you body make a strong baby or whatever. Please investigate how eating the foods that have traditionally supported healthy life on our planet will support you now and help you grow a healthy, happy baby and keep you healthy and happy too. It's only been in the very very recent history of human beings that we began eating the veggie oils and irradiated foods and processed dairy products...and it's all in the name of safety, but you know, it's not actually very safe. Before anyone points to the recent scares and outbreaks in different veggies and sprouts or whatever...please remember, that when we have outbreaks of salmonella and other scary things...it's always from these mass production super farms that are churning out masses of "food".

 

When I eat a nice friend egg with a runny center....I'm eating it from directly under a chicken, it's a sometimes minutes old product. I would never eat a runny egg from the store. Get it from a farm. I wish I could show those of you not "sold" on farm fresh eggs, a picture of an egg yolk from one of my chickens. You've never seen such a dark golden yolk. Never eat a pale yellow yolk. Look for dark orange, golden colored yolks. That egg yolk is deep in color, because it's rich...RICH in living nutrients and will give your body super super food that it needs.

 

Find a way to make this happen for your families mamas.

 

 

There. THat's my ranty, preachy soap box moment for today. Feed your bodies right, women....take that list your doctor hands you and throw it in the trash. If you use your common sense and do your research, there is no reason to shy from all these foods they tell you not to consume and EVERY reason to abandon the dead, chemical filled, nutrient lacking foods your doctor is telling you are better, because they're "safer".

 

 

 

 


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Old 12-10-2011, 06:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Whoever is writing those lists is being *ultra* cautious IMO. When you say "driving you the craziest" do you mean because they're so ridiculous or because you find it hard to avoid them? Personally, I don't think you need to avoid most of the things on that list.



Oh, either way.  Personally, I find myself in that middle ground, not quite believing them, yet also hesitating to actually break the rule because of how awful and stupid I'd feel if they turned out to be right.  I am thinking of breaking the foot massage rule because of a really good point someone made on another thread.  (Wouldn't they just have someone give women who are having trouble going into labor a foot massage if it really worked?)

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Old 12-10-2011, 06:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What really bugs me is the "consult a physician" on everything.  I tried consulting a physician when I was pregnant with my first because cough drops said that on the package.  Nobody in the doctor's office could give me a straight answer.  My current midwife says pretty much all the "consult" stuff is precautionary and everything is fine in moderation. 


Me too!  This even bothered me, pre-pregnancy, when there would be an article about a simple exercise routine, with the caution, "Always consult your doctor before beginning a new exercise routine."  Again, this is not even about pregnancy.  Was I really going to call my doctor and say, "Is it okay for me to do seven bicep curls and a few squats?"

 

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Old 12-10-2011, 06:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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....like... Not to be vulgar or ignorant, but... What the hell kind of cunnilingus pushes air up your vagina?? lol.gif



Not the kind I like, that's for sure, except that the guy does continue to breathe while in the general area.

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Old 12-10-2011, 06:50 AM
 
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I can't imagine thinking twice about doing anything on that list and was never cautioned against those.  I don't know where this "no caffeine" thing came from either.  My mw said that some women were drinking a 2 liter of soda everyday and that qualified as too much caffeine. 

 

My only "on the fence" issue during my last pregnancy was lunch meat.  I was told that there were lysteria concerns and "babies had died" so I ate it very infrequently. 

 

And while I would only probably sit in a hot tub with my belly submereged for about 5 minutes, I took lots of hot baths.


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Old 12-10-2011, 07:07 AM
 
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....like... Not to be vulgar or ignorant, but... What the hell kind of cunnilingus pushes air up your vagina?? lol.gif


I have no idea!  I asked my ob/gyn nurse friend and she said it's actually a danger when you're not pregnant too.  It's not good to get air up there.


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Old 12-10-2011, 09:24 AM
 
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I didnt even know about the basil and ginger thing. I eat that alot.

 

The 'no deli meats' i find really annoying. I never eat or want deli meats,..... except when im pregnant.  I often  need an extra protein boost while out and about and a turkey sandwich would be perfect, but not allowed in pregnancy. irked.gif

 

The avoiding all kinds of fish is a real pain too. Yeah, i know the mercury, but i wish i could eat more of that fish. The same restriction applies if you are breastfeeding.

 

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Old 12-10-2011, 09:53 AM
 
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Listeria freaks me out so I do avoid those risky things... I miss my raw milk like crazy and I've been craving a ham Italian this whole pregnancy, and it's the first thing I plan to eat when I have him next week!!!

 

And undercooked meat. mmmm bloody steak! Can't wait to have you again! lol.gif


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Old 12-10-2011, 12:34 PM
 
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My midwife during my last pregnancy told me that the recommendations for deli meats were because so delis don't keep there food cold enough and she would definitely stay away from anything you were skeptical about the refrigeration or treatment of, like don't eat deviled eggs at an office party.  I have been mostly avoiding lunch meat and soft cheeses too, but I am not sure there is good reason to never have a turkey sand if you know where it comes from.  I had some of my daughter's yesterday before I remembered that I wasn't supposed to.  I have been avoiding caffeine and alcohol altogether for awhile, since we were trying to for awhile to get pregnant.  What I really miss is Sushi, but I am eating the recommended low mercury sea food twice a week.  Some fish is very helpful for development.  My midwife last time also reminded me that Jackie Kennedy smoked and drank during her pregnancies (at did many women of her generation) so that all the cautions were to be taken with a grain of salt.


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Old 12-10-2011, 04:23 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by aeterna View Post

....like... Not to be vulgar or ignorant, but... What the hell kind of cunnilingus pushes air up your vagina?? lol.gif


Apparently some people like to actively blow air into the vagina. This does create an increased risk of air embolus due to the enlarged blood vessels during pregnancy but it's very rare (although whether it is rare amongst people who like having air blown into their vaginas I couldn't establish) Another cause of air embolism in pregnant women is caesarean section but I don't see that on any lists of things to be avoided eyesroll.gif


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Old 12-10-2011, 05:39 PM
 
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The ones that I think are dumb, I don't follow. Half these things were okay when I was pregnant with my son 10 years ago, some I've never heard of. I saw an advertisement a few months ago for formula for pregnant women (okay, they called it a smoothy, but it looked like formula to me) I guess someday we'll have our own special section at the grocery, with foods that are 'safe' for pregnant women, and people won't know anymore that we're even capable of digesting normal food :)


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Old 12-10-2011, 06:56 PM
 
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....like... Not to be vulgar or ignorant, but... What the hell kind of cunnilingus pushes air up your vagina?? lol.gif
 


LOL.  Like someone else said, the other person does still have to breath.  And I know I like a little wind across the damp parts - evaporation, ya know.  But during pregnancy, there is an increased risk of embolism because the blood vessels are closer to the surface (internally), so DH is a little more careful about not blowing into the vagina. 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by applejax View Post
No fish...(I eat it anyways and chicken makes me gag so that only leaves beef)

Avoid microwaves..(right! ok so no popcorn then?lol)


Lamb, pork, goat, buffalo, duck, turkey, and other seafood, of course.  Lots of options there, not just chicken or beef.  The recommendations I've read on fish is to limit it to 1 serving/week and that's because of the contamination level of fish, which is an actual concern, IMO, where a lot of these are just CYA. 

 

I've never heard no microwaves, but I don't even own one, and I still eat popcorn.  I have an air popper, but even without that it can easily be made in a big pot with a lid. 

 

 

The only ones I actually pay attention to are:

No deli meats - as in I don't eat meat I get at a deli counter (pre-sliced).  If I want cold-cuts I buy them cut-to-order or I buy them packaged from a company I trust.  Just this week I've had mortadella, turkey and ham sandwiches. 

No sprouts - as in I don't purchase packaged sprouts.  They are a breeding ground for bacteria, and the slightest bit of mishandling can be dangerous.  If I want sprouts, I'll buy them loose (where they've had air circulation), or I'll make them myself. 

Limit alcohol.  I'm not a big drinker when not pg, but I do like the occasional kahlua and cream or glass of hard cider.  Now I'll limit myself to drinking out of DH's glass. 

Don't get any vaccinations.  This is definitely one I adhere to, even though many medical professionals don't any more.  Not that I would get a flu shot when not pg, but doubly so when pg. 

 

I suppose I adhere to the "limiting fish" one also, but that has nothing to do with pregnancy and everything to do with not being fond of fish. 

 

I eat whatever cheese I want, drink raw milk, eat sushi on occasion, get massages and foot rubs, take hot showers (hotter than when not-pg), lift my 40 lb toddler regularly, get oral sex whenever I can, eat my steak rare and bloody, drink the occasional kombucha, eat my egg yolks runny, and the list goes on and on, I'm sure.  Most of these precautions are CYA on behalf of the medical profession.  But then I also know where my food comes from and inform myself about food safety.  For those people who rely on the local WalMart or other big box store for their groceries and have never met their local farmer, a lot of these (food) recommendations are probably a good idea. 


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Old 12-10-2011, 07:02 PM
 
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Quote:



Apparently some people like to actively blow air into the vagina. This does create an increased risk of air embolus due to the enlarged blood vessels during pregnancy but it's very rare (although whether it is rare amongst people who like having air blown into their vaginas I couldn't establish) Another cause of air embolism in pregnant women is caesarean section but I don't see that on any lists of things to be avoided eyesroll.gif


Rofl!!! lol.gif

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Old 12-10-2011, 07:35 PM
 
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I am thinking of breaking the foot massage rule because of a really good point someone made on another thread.  (Wouldn't they just have someone give women who are having trouble going into labor a foot massage if it really worked?)



Actually my CNM in the hospital gave me a foot rub with oils around 9pm (while my mom massaged my head, I was in heaven) and by 10pm I was in much more painful/strong labor and needing to get in the water.  Not sure if it was the foot rub for sure, but it seemed to speed things along nicely.  My CNM did mention pressure points as to why she wanted to do it.


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Old 12-10-2011, 08:14 PM
 
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The ones that drive me the craziest are the arbitrary limits on exercise. What does don't push "too hard" mean? Don't go over x beats per minute ('cause we are all the same age & have the same fitness level?). The worst is the don't lift 20, 30 or 40lbs (depending on who is giving the warning). Seriously? So I can't bring groceries into the house or carry laundry up the stairs or pick up my toddler? My first ob told me it would be ok to continue lifting weights (I do powerlifting so I lift HEAVY) if I remained sitting & didn't lift more than 5 or 10lbs. Huh? Wow - in 9 months that would undo years worth of training. Fwiw - I squatted 190lbs in my last trimester. We know our bodies best & we know when it is too much.


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Old 12-10-2011, 09:30 PM
 
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If you are concerned about mercury in fish, I have found the following online calculator really helpful:

http://www.nrdc.org/health/effects/mercury/calculator/calc.asp

 


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Old 12-10-2011, 10:02 PM
 
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What really bugs me is the "consult a physician" on everything.  I tried consulting a physician when I was pregnant with my first because cough drops said that on the package.  Nobody in the doctor's office could give me a straight answer.  My current midwife says pretty much all the "consult" stuff is precautionary and everything is fine in moderation. 


 That definitely bugs me a lot. I just bout a PREGNANCY tea and it said consult your midwife or physician before taking....


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Old 12-11-2011, 07:50 AM
 
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I honestly never heard most of them before now, including the foot massage one.  I am a massage therapist and massage pregnant ladies feet all the time LOL, I don't think there is anything to be concerned about.

 

I try to follow the rules that make sense but don't go crazy (except things like no alcohol, I do that 100%).  I have had lunch meat here and there but I limit it.  I don't eat bacon, but I didn't love it to begin with so it's easy.  I try to cook my eggs to over medium instead of over easy but I think that is still considered not done enough lol... but I rarely eat eggs, also!  Only when at a breakfast place...   So I try not to get too crazy about anything but also want to do what I can to be safe.


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Old 12-11-2011, 08:35 AM
 
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Well now that I am on baby #5- I pretty much ignore everything.  I have my own cows though- so I am well supplied with good raw milk.  I love sushi- but I can only get it from he grocery store- but when I do get it it is sooo yummy!  I don't do the alcohol thing- but red wine has been sounding so good.  I never heard of the no kombucha thing- I love GTs grape....  I don't have it too often- but have been thinking of ordering a case.  Lunch meat- that is pretty common- I eat it but wouldn't carry a ham sandwich in my bag all day and then eat it... that is pretty much common sense though.  Hot tubs- bad idea due to the heat and bubbles and chlorine....  

 

The caffeine one I take somewhat seriously.  I still drink it- but only one serving.


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Old 12-12-2011, 01:11 PM
 
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We are going on vacation to a resort next week where pregnant women are not allowed to do any number of things - including rent paddleboats and ride the lazy river!  irked.gif


 

 

 

 

 

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Old 12-12-2011, 01:24 PM
 
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I don't hate the rules so much as other people trying to enforce the rules FOR ME. When I was pregnant, I would always get comments if I was drinking coffee or eating a sandwich or at a Japanese restaurant.  It infuriates me that grown women are treated like small children who can't make their own decisions  about their health once they become pregnant. I am a grown woman, and I've seen the research/warnings about caffeine, now don't try to prevent me from ordering my morning cup of coffee!


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Old 12-12-2011, 02:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Actually my CNM in the hospital gave me a foot rub with oils around 9pm (while my mom massaged my head, I was in heaven) and by 10pm I was in much more painful/strong labor and needing to get in the water.  Not sure if it was the foot rub for sure, but it seemed to speed things along nicely.  My CNM did mention pressure points as to why she wanted to do it.


What a good midwife you must have had!  I'm starting to feel pre-slighted by mine.  Massage oils were not among the amenities listed.  It does make me think twice about letting the massage therapist go for  my feet, though.
 

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 That definitely bugs me a lot. I just bout a PREGNANCY tea and it said consult your midwife or physician before taking....


Oh, geez!

 

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We are going on vacation to a resort next week where pregnant women are not allowed to do any number of things - including rent paddleboats and ride the lazy river!  irked.gif



How sad!  A paddle boat really isn't rough at all.  Think of all the housework pregnant women do!

 

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I don't hate the rules so much as other people trying to enforce the rules FOR ME. When I was pregnant, I would always get comments if I was drinking coffee or eating a sandwich or at a Japanese restaurant.  It infuriates me that grown women are treated like small children who can't make their own decisions  about their health once they become pregnant. I am a grown woman, and I've seen the research/warnings about caffeine, now don't try to prevent me from ordering my morning cup of coffee!


Couldn't agree more!  I'm not really showing yet (at least, not through my baggy clothes), but I'm already dreading the change in others' mindsets over what their jurisdiction actually is.  I've worked as a nanny before, and I've already had plenty of women at the playground tell me that I should let a child do this, or shouldn't let a child do that.  (Because of my age and looks, I could easily have been the children's mother, but even knowing I'm the nanny, aren't rules something for me and the parents to discuss?)  I am sure I'm going to be even more pissed off about this when I'm the actual Mom, or a lady with a baby visibly in my belly.

 

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Old 12-12-2011, 02:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cat13 View Post

I don't hate the rules so much as other people trying to enforce the rules FOR ME. When I was pregnant, I would always get comments if I was drinking coffee or eating a sandwich or at a Japanese restaurant.  It infuriates me that grown women are treated like small children who can't make their own decisions  about their health once they become pregnant. I am a grown woman, and I've seen the research/warnings about caffeine, now don't try to prevent me from ordering my morning cup of coffee!



Oh I KNOW this is the worst....I will never understand why, as a pregnant woman, you automatically become "community property"!! WHAT IS THAT!??


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Old 12-13-2011, 04:10 AM
 
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I'm annoyed by the whole concept of 'rules' for pregnant women, as opposed to 'suggestions' or 'guidelines'. To me it implies that as soon as we are with child we suddenly lose any autonomy or ability to reason or individuality, and must all conform to rules laid out by 'those who know best', usually the medical establishment. The pure arbitrariness of the lists of what not to eat is ridiculous, do women in Japan stop eating sushi? Do French women stop eating soft cheeses? Not to mention the extreme restrictions that have no scientific evidence to back them up (such as zero alcohol intake, when the only harmful effects have been measured in women who were drinking heavily while pregnant), or the recommendations that are completely contradictory (e.g. don't sleep on your back while pregnant but we'll force you to labor and give birth on your back in the worst possible position in the hospital)...It's like pregnant women are magnets for society to project all its fears and risks upon and we end up judged and criticized by anyone and everyone.  I'm only halfway through my pregnancy and I'm already tired of the questions from friends/acquaintances about what I am 'allowed' to eat or drink and whether I'm avoiding this or that. It's really none of their business - I totally agree, we're not 'community property'! 

Not to mention that being pregnant seems to make one even more sensitive to criticism. A few days ago my prenatal yoga teacher made a comment that I have a very small bump (seemingly implying that it's too small), and I started to worry that I'm not gaining enough weight, wondering what was wrong, feeling like I'm doing something wrong, etc. Even though I know that everything is fine, that one little remark really affected me.

 

 


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