Negative reactions when announcing my third pregnancy :( - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#31 of 36 Old 03-21-2012, 03:33 PM
Vegan Princess's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: California
Posts: 3,355
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I hate when people do this. I've not experienced it myself as we are just now on #2. But my brother had his 2nd, 3rd and 4th baby VERY close together. Like all 3 were born within 24 months! When the 3rd and 4th pregnancy were announced, my family had nothing but negative things to say. Granted, #3 and #4 were only 10.5 months apart - so definitely a shock to be hearing SIL is pregnant just a couple months after giving birth. But I just always felt sad hearing my parents say negative things and couldn't help but think that a new life was on the way and people should be excited for that! 


And I don't think 3 kids is a huge family by any means. I think the economy makes having 3 more unattainable these days, but it's not crazy big at all. My brother has 11 kids. THAT is a big family! (he had 4, married a woman with 6 and they had 1 more - so there were no comments on baby number 9 or 10, etc bc they were already living kiddos). 



Mama to my veggie girl hearts.gif(1/09) and my sweet rainbow baby rainbow1284.gif (9/12). 

Vegan Princess is offline  
Sponsored Links
#32 of 36 Old 03-21-2012, 03:43 PM
Mami_Feliz's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 94
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm 31 weeks with #3 and was also surprised by people's reactions. Some people gave a nervous laugh, others seemed worried or even a bit disapproving... Some were, of course, over the moon. I'm very happy and comfortable with the pregnancy so I've actually found it quite funny to see that it makes people uncomfortable. I live in a place where three kids is a large family, so perhaps people are just very surprised. I have a very good friend who was with me when I told three other friends the news (one was very happy and the other two did the nervous laugh) and she was horrified at their reactions. I found that reassuring!

Happy mama to DS1 (2006), DS2 (2007) & DD (2012)

Mami_Feliz is offline  
#33 of 36 Old 03-21-2012, 03:51 PM
aHikaru's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 786
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

it's interesting that you asked if there are other US cities that are friendly to "large families" because as a whole, the average US family size is 4, that's how cars are made, most homes are made and is the ideal restaurant party size. I actually have a friend that told me, "if you ever want more kids, stick to 2... don't get me wrong my world wouldn't be the same without our third child, but I wish I would've know that before".  

Personally, my DH wants 2 kids at the most because of the fact that it is the standard family size, but I want 4. We don't tell our family if we are having a party, our future plans or if we are pregnant ( we actually didn't tell anyone until it was impossible to deny. :) 


You are clearly showing your excitement to these people and they are being brutally honest with how they feel. If I was you I'd just keep it with in my own family (DH and DD) and have the excitement together.

DD   DS  
aHikaru is offline  
#34 of 36 Old 03-21-2012, 07:19 PM
BlessedOne's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Middle of everywhere
Posts: 1,186
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 52 Post(s)

I do agree that on average the family size in the US is least according to stats.
But I would be curious to know if in regards to the rest of your quote from below ...if it is really any more accommodating to larger families in other parts of the world???
In other parts of the world, are cars normally bigger?  In other parts of the world are restaurants made to accommodate larger families?.....are homes bigger?

Not that I am expert in these areas, but I would just *assume*  that in other parts of the civilized world that it is not much better....perhaps even worse in some areas. But again, I could be wrong.


Originally Posted by aHikaru View Post

it's interesting that you asked if there are other US cities that are friendly to "large families" because as a whole, the average US family size is 4, that's how cars are made, most homes are made and is the ideal restaurant party size. I actually have a friend that told me,

I have a larger family than average (6 total...getting ready to be 7) and I really haven't had much issue with the above things. When we go to restaurants, we don't have any issue with our size or have to wait longer. Actually sometimes we even get in sooner because the group tables are not filled because there are a lot of parties of 4 waiting and they won't normally put a party of 4 on an 8 topper. So many times we get seated right away...even if there is a line.

In regards to housing.....of course we want a larger house...but in reality the average 3/2 would work for us if we wanted it to.

In regards to cars....yes many times cars are commonly most appropriate for 4 people....although in reality most are made for 5 (just not comfortably). In resent years, there has been a huge rise in manufacturing of SUVs and CUVs that hold more people. Some even up to 8 people. I personally own one that holds 7 people. We got it after having our 4th child. And of course that is not taking into consideration the large amount of vans/mini-vans on the roads. There a lot of nice options out there for bigger families. And honestly, I have found that my friends with 2 kids take advantage of larger vehicles just as much as the bigger families. Honestly, it is very strange (around here anyway) to see a family of four in a sedan or compact car. =S

Point being, I wouldn't suggest basing the number of children one has on such decisions. =)

BlessedOne is offline  
#35 of 36 Old 03-29-2012, 10:24 AM
JudiAU's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Where creepy facebook-featured threads can't find me
Posts: 3,618
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)

In our area, two is normal, one is understandable if both parents have careers, and a third is an exotic produced if you get "lucky" with both genders. I've been open to wanting a third and no one can even say they understand! I usually get, "wow I can't imagine" and "don't you have a boy and a girl."


And DH was the one to bring up negative population growth or is favorite "2 hands arguement"

JudiAU is offline  
#36 of 36 Old 03-29-2012, 11:31 AM
moonInLion's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 218
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Interesting thread!

Gives me some reassurance to continue celebrating on our own for a little longer. Family (all overseas, anyway, so they don't see  me!) can wait with being told about #4 being on the way. I just don't want to hear any of their comments. (We were compared to rabbits when I was expecting #3...).

proud mama of DS (April 03), DD (Oct 06), angel1.gif (March 09), DS (April 10), DD (Oct 12)

moonInLion is offline  


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off