Are your kids far apart? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 24 Old 03-12-2012, 12:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I always thought I would be one of those moms that had kids close together.  I had my oldest when I was really young (19), and tried again when she was two, but wasn't able to keep a viable pregnancy until she was 5, when I had my daughter.  I have had two miscarriages since then, and I am finally pregnant again.  I'm 30 now, my youngest will be 7 when this baby is born, and my oldest will be 11. 

 

It may not be *that* far apart, really, but to me it feels like it.  

 

Anyone else have kids farther apart than a couple years?

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#2 of 24 Old 03-12-2012, 12:59 PM
 
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My first two are just shy of 4 years apart. It feels far sometimes! They are 4 years apart in school, and really just in different stages all the time. I went on to have 2 more kids, both 2.5 years apart so now my oldest is 9 and then I have a 7 month old. Not quite a large age span but it makes daily life interesting! 


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#3 of 24 Old 03-12-2012, 01:50 PM
 
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My sister and I are just shy of four years apart. When we were kids, I think I got on her nerves trying to copy her (she's older than me), but we had fun together too. She also was so sweet to me and made me word searches and other pretend school to do. Now we're really good friends. I think there will be special things about your kids' age difference that they wouldn't have if they were closer in age. Good luck!

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#4 of 24 Old 03-12-2012, 05:33 PM
 
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My kids are 8 and 12 and fight like banshees:-(. I love them one on one but together they are a handful.

 

I'm 8 weeks PG with #3, so the girls will be 9 and 12 when this one comes. 


Mom to DD1 (11/1999),  DD2 (07/2003), and DS (11/2012), all born at home and cloth diapered. 

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#5 of 24 Old 03-12-2012, 06:02 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by greenmamato2 View Post

 

I'm 30 now, my youngest will be 7 when this baby is born, and my oldest will be 11. 

 

It may not be *that* far apart, really, but to me it feels like it.  

 

Anyone else have kids farther apart than a couple years?

This is me exactly. My daughters will be 7 and almost 11 when this baby is born in September. Not sure what to expect but my girls are so excited about the baby. 
 

 


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#6 of 24 Old 03-12-2012, 06:15 PM
 
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When i was 15 and my sister was 11 our parents went back for more - i have a brother who is 15 years younger than me and my youngest brother and i are exactly 16 years and 11 months apart.   (I nearly missed my road test because my mom was in labor!) 

It was a GREAT learning experience to have those little boys in the house when i was at an age to appreciate the vast responsibility they came along with!  (it was also an excellent message about taking birth control VERY seriously! ) 

I had my first two 3 years apart, then i was divorced and remarried and our baby is 18 months old (my third, DH's first)  so my first was 15 and second was 12 when he was born. 

 i have had to drag this poor baby to TWO road tests so far!  - which has really been about the worst of it...its nice to have extra hands who can amuse the baby and help out - and soon i hope my daughter will pass that dang road test - and i will have someone who can run errands for me!! 

I often wonder what it will be like when our youngest is a teenager - my DH and i will be in our late 50's  and it seems like he will be an only child....i guess we'll just have to see!


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#7 of 24 Old 03-12-2012, 06:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miss_sonja View Post

My kids are 8 and 12 and fight like banshees:-(. I love them one on one but together they are a handful.

 

I'm 8 weeks PG with #3, so the girls will be 9 and 12 when this one comes. 



Hee hee. I say that all time about my girls, the fighting is NONSTOP. I tell myself that it probably would be worse if they were spaced closer together. 


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#8 of 24 Old 03-13-2012, 12:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tear78 View Post

My sister and I are just shy of four years apart. When we were kids, I think I got on her nerves trying to copy her (she's older than me),


Endlessly...sheesh.  love.gif  Kidding, kidding,... :)

 


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#9 of 24 Old 03-13-2012, 02:34 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carlyle View Post



Endlessly...sheesh.  love.gif   Kidding, kidding,... smile.gif

Sorry! lol...believe it or not I did TRY to find a way to say that without making you sound old (which you're NOT!) Love you! love.gif

ok...now I realize you were referring to the getting on nerves...endlessly. ROTFLMAO.gif foot....mouth...insert. mua!

Our little miracles are here!!joy.gif
energy.gif DD Born 7/15/11 biggrinbounce.gif DS Born 4/3/13
love.giflove.gif Keep growing healthy and strong, beautiful little fighter babies!!!

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#10 of 24 Old 03-15-2012, 05:51 PM
 
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My oldest daughter is going to be 18 in late July. My second daughter will be 11 late June, and my son turned 4 in early December. So,  7 years then 6 1/2 years.  We didn't plan it that way, but nevertheless...lol. There are benefits and problems with the spacing, but I guess it is true for any spacing, near or far.  :)

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#11 of 24 Old 03-15-2012, 08:59 PM
 
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My daughter is six and our second daughter is due in June.  She is thrilled and I am excited that she actually is old enough to help.  This is exactly the age difference 6 years 4 months between me and my little sister, although there is a brother between us.  I loved helping with her when she was a baby and we are wonderful friends now; I am hoping this will be the same for my daughters.  There were some years (teenage) when I thought she was irritating for wanting to follow me around, but we fought less than same gender siblings I know who were closer together.  Personally, I really glad that my daughter is grown up enough to have some of her own interests and activities.  I really did not want 2 babies at once- for my sake and theirs.  I have seen some toddlers really struggle with feeling supplanted by the new baby.


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#12 of 24 Old 03-15-2012, 10:06 PM
 
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Mine will be almost 4 yrs apart. I initially wanted them closer, but it took a while. Now I am quite happy about the spacing, after watching my friends struggle with them close together. But I just wanted to say that my brother is 6 yrs older than me and my sister is 8yrs older. I was born 10 mos after my brother started kindegarten and my mom got lonely.  I was a bit of an only child but still got to grow up with them around. I think the spacing was fine. And my mom always tells me that having 3 was way more manageable that way for her. Probably nice to be able to enjoy your baby while your older kids are in school. 

 

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#13 of 24 Old 03-16-2012, 12:11 AM
 
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My daughters are 2 years apart, and they're best friends.  I wanted them close in age, and although DD1 was unplanned (I was 19) DD2 was very much planned specifically to keep the spacing close.  XH and I divorced when they were small, and I thought that if the stars didn't align soon so that I'd remarry and have another within a short time, I didn't want any more kids... I was very reluctant to have a big age gap.  But all these years later, enter DS!  His sisters were 15 and 13 when he was born, and they absolutely adore him.  I try to keep from asking them to watch him too much, and always pay them for babysitting- I don't want them to resent him or us for the extra work.  Anyway, it's a huge space, and I wonder how much like siblings they will feel as they grow up.  The girls really do seem more like young aunts to DS.  But we're a happy family, and what more could I ask for? :)


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#14 of 24 Old 03-19-2012, 11:45 AM
 
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My kids are close (only because I started on the later side) but I was the oldest child in a family with a spread like yours, OP (I was 10 and middle sis was 7 when baby sis was born).  I thought it was great actually.  I really enjoyed baby sis when I was young and we had a great relationship with no reason for rivalry (middle sis and I fought like maniacs unfortunately).  As adults, I like having a close relationship with someone out of my direct peer group.  It makes my life richer yk?


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#15 of 24 Old 03-20-2012, 07:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for the feedback!  It feels good to know there are many other families that go through this big of a gap before having kids. :)  Around here most everyone has kids pretty close together, so I was feeling pretty alone.

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#16 of 24 Old 03-20-2012, 01:10 PM
 
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My first three are 2 years apart, but #4 will be 4 years behind the 3rd, 6 years behind the 2nd and 8 years behind the 1st. So, the last one will be a little far behind his/her older sisters, which I know will make life very interesting.

 

I do have three sisters. I'm the oldest and am 2 years older than the 2nd, 8 years older than the 3rd and 10 years older than the last one. I def. ignored my two youngest sisters when I was growing up : ) and thought they were pests a lot of the times, but now we all get along great. I know my youngest two sisters thought of me as a 2nd mom as times when we were growing up.

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#17 of 24 Old 03-20-2012, 02:36 PM
 
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My first will be 4 1/2 by the time her brother is born. For sure it's a bigger gap than I would like. I had a couple of friends who were spaced this way, and it was not the best situation for the younger siblings. The younger would always tag around with the older's friends, and was always doing things that imo seemed a little ridiculous for their age. When they hit high school, oldest would be a senior, and younger was a freshman at the same school so this just exacerbated the situation. Of course, in both cases this was with an older sister and a younger sister, so I'm hoping that there will be a bit of a different dynamic between different sex siblings. I still haven't decided if I will be having any more children after this one (I'm thinking, maybe, at least, one more), but if I do I would like a closer gap than the one between my first and second.

 

 

 

ETA: On the other end of the spectrum is DH and his brother, they are 11 years apart. For a long time they weren't really close, but now as BIL is growing up (he's now 17) they've become really tight. He comes over at least once a week, and he really looks to DH for advice. It's really neat to see them connecting, because it's such a unique relationship. It's a close friendship, yet DH is really protective of his little brother. BIL is also getting to the point in his life where he wants to know more about his family and himself so he often "compares notes" with DH about how it was living in their family, what other family members were like, and did XYorZ really happen to him as a baby/kid. Sometimes they each have different memories and recollections just because of where they were in their development, so it's really fun to see what they think "really" happened in any given situation. So, while they weren't close enough to really be friends in childhood, they've really grown into a very tightly bonded friendship as they've gotten older.


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#18 of 24 Old 03-20-2012, 02:55 PM
 
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my daughters are 16, 15, 9 and 5 months. i feel as if i started over twice! they all adore the baby, but the older three fight constantly.


drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.

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#19 of 24 Old 03-20-2012, 05:44 PM
 
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I don't have experience with this with my own kids, but my sister and I were 3.5 years apart and my brother and I were 6 years apart (so a 10 year gap between my sister and my brother).  My sister and brother were very close growing up (until she went to college) while he and I were close when young and then fought like cats and dogs until we were older.  However, we are now all really really close.  My sister is my best friend in the world.  While an age gap has something to do with sibling cohesion, our family ate dinner together every night, spent time reading and watching movies together, and didn't watch TV or have video games (until later in high school in my brother's case, when we were gone at college).  So the closeness also depends on the kinds of traditions you do together as a family.  Personally, I love our age gap.  It prevented us from overlapping too much in terms of interests and allowed us to develop our own individuality.


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#20 of 24 Old 03-20-2012, 10:41 PM
 
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My son is 19 and I am pregnant with #2 (due in August).  My DP has two from a previous marriage, 5 and soon to be 15.  So when my son turns 20 in October we will have a 0, 5, 15 and 20 year old!   When my son was young I did not want another but shortly after he left the nest I was ready for a full house again.  I started so young with him most of my friends are having their first now anyway.  I did tell DP that if we were going to have one, I wanted 2 - no more waiting 20 years orngtongue.gif

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#21 of 24 Old 03-22-2012, 04:22 PM
 
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My DH has a 23 year old who is in the Air Force and stationed here near us.  My dh had custody of hime most of his childhood.  I am pregnant with our #1 and his #2.  I think the little bub will see him as like a cool uncle.  Very very different circumstances but poor dh will have parented all of his adult life winky.gif


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#22 of 24 Old 03-23-2012, 06:34 AM
 
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It took us 7 yrs to have our son and after 13 more years our daughter decided to make an appearance! (Due in June 12')

I had given up on having any more children but I am glad God had different plans! Even though we have been married 20 years and I am 43 years old and I am high risk I am confident that she is arriving the exact time that she should, as all children are. Our son is so excited and says he got to have the best of both worlds; he was an only child with all the attention for 13 years and now he will have a sibling to share life with!

Best wishes for your family and most important, have fun!!

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#23 of 24 Old 03-23-2012, 06:54 AM
 
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My daughter is 9 and my son, 2, so 7 years apart. It's pretty good. I wanted a 4 year age gap, but got 7 (and we're lucky to have #2). She's very helpful and was dying to be a big sister. Kids places are the hardest because they need to be in 2 different areas now - like kids museum's and such. It's easier if I bring her with a friend and at 9, can leave them in an area alone while I go with the toddler. Daily life is fine. She helps a lot, reads to him, might get him dressed int he morning. The family room is gated off for her stuff and he plays with us in the living room. Can't wait until I can get him in the family room - like when he stops trying to ride IN the barbie jeep. 

 

I find the really hard part is taking them to a kid focussed place because she is young enough to want to PLAY in it (as opposed to a teenager or something) but doesn't want to be in the toddler area. Would be easier if DH went with me, but for now I've decided to bring her and a friend. And of course we need lots of just mommy-me time. Sometimes we have a family date where DH and I take her to the movies and leave the baby with a sitter. She really likes that. 


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#24 of 24 Old 03-25-2012, 12:58 AM
 
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I love hearing all these different experiences! I have a 6 year old who turns 7 in October and we're expecting a boy in July. So she'll be nearly 7 years older than him! So far she's REALLY excited to be a big sister, though she has been a little open with her disappointment about the baby being a boy. I've been a little worried about the age gap, but then again at same time I'm glad, because I was able to devote a lot of time to DD and I won't feel as guilty taking care of the little one because she'll be in school and I really loved having that individual time with my daughter -- even to a point where I'm sometimes sad that it won't just be me and her anymore. My husband and his brother are about 4 years apart and they're fairly close -- the only thing that separates them really is personality difference and has absolutely nothing to do with age. DH also has a 12 y/o sister whom both of us are really close with, despite the 14 year age gap. 


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