Bajingo in the Spring-O, Part Deux: Having #1 in Our 30's, Spring 2012 - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-09-2012, 05:33 PM
 
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Caly- the movie was freaky!  But good.  I hope you guys enjoy it.  The 3D made me feel kind of weird, though., and the baby jumped at the loud noises, especially the previews, which seem to be the loudest for some reason.  And my DD is super excited to be a big sister.  I have been telling her the baby would be born at the beginning of summer, so now that she is on vacation, she keeps asking why it is taking so long.

 

Met with the doula again this afternoon; I think she is pretty great and my DH and DD like her too.  Hoping to not deliver next weekend-the one weekend she will be out of town. 


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Old 06-10-2012, 05:06 PM
 
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Hope the weekend was great for everyone!

 

Congrats on being done with work, Caly! So excited for you and CaCountry for having some more bajingo babies very soon!

 

I've invited Dh to Promethius next weekend as part of his almost a father Father's day celebration. He's excited about it--he loves scifi and the Aliens movies, plus he worked with Damon Lindelof's mom when he taught in a NYC school and he likes to follow his work.

 

I was debating about the 3D, CaCountry; we may just go to the normal showing. Hope the timing goes well and you get the doula you have connected with!

 

Thanks for the info on the massage, Lily. I was going to have dh try it out on me, but I guess we'll try your suggestion and I'll have him tell me when the baby's crowning. 

 

I'm definitely feeling bigger/rounder lately and just started getting hit with some heartburn or indigestion feelings. I can avoid it pretty well if I don't drink with my meals, though, so I hope it stays that way.


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Old 06-11-2012, 02:03 AM
 
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X-posted from DDC:

 

________

 

I found out Friday I am also a carrier for the MTHFR mutation my mom has. It can have affects such as blood clotting issues and interfere with folate absorbtion. I have a perinatalogist consult a week from tomorrow. I was upset but after some googling it sounds like it usually doesn't cause too many issues. I think they need to test my homocystine levels to see if I would have any blood clotting issues. I am just hoping that this doesn't cause any issues/interventions at birth. Also, our NT scan was normal but I feel bad if I had low folate levels this whole time :(

 

________

 

So anyway. We had a pretty good weekend, but I slept A LOT and kind of regret not having more time with huz.  I had trouble sleeping during the week after we found out we had some pest issues in the house and then I had to stay at my MILs empty condo Friday while the exterminators were here. Huz has FINALLY finished painting and hanging shelves in the baby's room. I'm such a tough critic, but it looks great. We're getting the carpets cleaned this week and then we'll start moving things into place and I can take some pictures.

 

Once again, I'm feeling like time is crawling. I realized I have almost a full school-quarter until this babe is born, most likely. This is only good news because his knitted blanket is only a little over half done.

 

Caly, congrats on being done with work!

 

Andaluza, don't forget most heartburn meds are category B, I couldn't survive without them!

 

This week is pretty tame, just the carpet cleaning scheduled, but then next week is crazy, both the perinatal appointment, OB appointment, childbirth class, out of town visitors, and then the shower on the weekend.

 

 

... edited...

So I wasn't really freaking out about this gene thing but then I started googling. Reading stuff at pregnancy.info about women losing their babies at 30 some weeks or stillborn because of clotting in the placenta. Ugh. So I have to wait another week to get any answers and there will probably be time for the additional bloodwork to process. Sigh.



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Old 06-11-2012, 10:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, Bootshug2.gif Big hugs to you and your DH. My intuition says your little guy is going to be just fine (after all, this is Honey Badger we're talking about, and he don't give a s*** about MTHFR), but I am so sorry you have to deal with this. And just when things seemed to be settling down for you. Glad the pest issues have been resolved and that the nursery is taking shape. I'm looking forward to the pictures.

 

Andaluza, I hope you enjoy watching your belly grow! And as Boots said, heartburn meds are your friend. I love the idea of doing something special for your DH on Father's Day. I think people tend to overlook soon-to-be papas in all the excitement surrounding pregnancy. Granted, we mamas do 99% of the work, but it's a long haul for them, too.

 

CountryGirl, I am so glad your doula seems like a good fit! I'll be sending "stay put, baby!" vibes your way this weekend.

 

I'm 38 weeks 2 days, and my weekly appointment with the midwives is today. We'll see what they say about the baby's position, but I'm not having any pelvic pressure or contractions (no labor signs at all, actually), and her little feet are still all up in my ribs. So...I think it's going to be a while, and I'll just have to be patient. Which is really not one of my virtues.


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Old 06-11-2012, 10:22 AM
 
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Glucose testing today... totally normal to hoover everything beforeeee the 2 hours I need to fast, right? Sheepish.gif Teehee. I'm acting like I'm not allowed to ever eat again. I'm such a weirdo. FX all goes well!


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Old 06-11-2012, 12:07 PM
 
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Hey everyone!  Cute DH story to share.  I was looking through the stuff we got for our shower on Saturday and putting stuffed animals into slings and so on (you know, normal stuff) and DH kept asking "how many slings and things do we need?".  I responded that we had this Balboa sling for when the baby is small and then the Ergo for when baby is bigger.  And he said, "What about that wrappy thing?"  And I said, "The moby?"  He looked a little confused, but said, "Yeah, I guess so".  I responded that we didn't have a Moby.  And he pointed to the bamboo swaddles we got and asked, "Well what are those?  Aren't those slingy things?"  I said, "No, those are swaddles".  And he looked enlightened and said, "Oh, the burrito things".  Good to know he's finally catching on.

 

Boots, so sorry to hear about the genetic thing.  Just keep in mind that your mom had you and everything was fine.  I agree with Caly that the Honey Badger don't care.  He'll be awesome!  Maybe taking a break from googling would help?  I know how hard that is though, since I googled madly for the first four months.

 

Caly, ahhhhh!  You're getting so close!  I just talked to my mom last night and she said all three of us came at 38 weeks.  I was just expecting to go 41 weeks like most first time moms, but I'm hoping that's not the case.  I hope she drops soon and things start progressing.  It must be so freaking hard waiting.  But so exciting too!

 

Erica, good luck on the glucose test!  It's gross, but for me it wasn't that bad.  It's a total PITA in general though.

 

Andaluza, I'm trying to do a fun awesome father's day thing for DH because he's been so wonderful on all the household projects and stuff, but I'm drawing a blank.  Maybe I could contact some of his buddies and see if they want to do a golf day/beer night out.  I'm terrible at gifts, and I want this one to be good.  Yours sounds awesome!


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Old 06-11-2012, 12:19 PM
 
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I am procrastinating on mine- I was supposed to go last week but I will go this week for the one hour.

 

Oh my goodness Caly and CAgirl-  you are so close- glad you are getting some nice huz and movie time in that will be rare later- I want to see Snow White but me and dh always get lazy about movies when the weather is so nice- now it is warming up here like CA said so maybe the cool will be nice.  

 

hug2.gifso sorry Boots-  I think everything will turn out fine.  I was tested for that after my loss.  

 

I am feeling really tired in the morning these days which is a big change, so I have been taking morning naps.  I have figured out that my little Ert is a little piggy.  He consistently moves after I eat.  For the most part that is the only time he moves.  

 

For fathers day I surprised my dh with tickets to see Ira Glass from "This American Life" speak at a lovely winery here on Saturday, then Sunday his son will come down from his base to enjoy Sunday with us- I will probably Barbecue something and get them tickets to a Giants game.  My DH seems to be very defensive as of late about always extending an invite to his son who works weekend nights and lives three hours away.

 

His son did mention feeling confused about where he fits in the babies life.  He is 23 and lives 3 hours away.  My dh raised him for the most part- he lived with his mom and his half siblings (now 13 & 16) for 2 years in high school, then he finished his last semester here in CA with us because his mom moved in the middle of his senior year.He is not all that close with his mom although he would like to be- he is much closer to my dh.  I try to explain that he will be like a cool uncle- because of the age difference brotherly relationship is a bit different.  My dh feels guilty because a lot of raising him was a wing and a prayer because they were 18 when they had him.  My dh was in school through his master's and trying to be a father.  Because of this guilt I feel like my dh sometimes gets weird about things I say I want for little Ert- like he did not give them to his son so...?  

 

I know we will all be in love and my dh is so excited- I think it is a milestone for him and his son, and I want everyone to feel loved and like every relationship constellation is special and valued.  

 

Don't know why I just went off on that- guess I needed to vent.  I hope you all are loving summer. 


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Old 06-11-2012, 03:07 PM
 
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Thanks for the reassurances, guys. I'm gonna come back and do personals later, I just have another question...

 

Well, I didn't sleep a lot last week (like 3-4 hours a night) and I was worried that was my new life. Now I cannot sleep enough! Yesterday I slept three separate times. I am trying to take my iron and vitamins, but is this normal for third trimester, you think? It's not quite as zombie-like as first trimester, but geez.

 

Erica, I'm sure your test will be good. I bet the 2 hour has fewer false positives, too.



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Old 06-11-2012, 03:15 PM
 
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Old 06-11-2012, 06:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Birdiewave.gif The midwife I saw said she thought the baby had moved down some and that her head is certainly in the right place. I think she may have dropped a little today, actually. I've been feeling a lot more pressure on my bladder since this afternoon.

 

Sparrows, vent away! It sounds like your DH just wants to make sure his son feels valued and included as the two of you create a family together. My DH is significantly older than his sister and they have a terrific relationship. It's different, but they still get each other in a way that only children raised by the same parents can. It could be really cool for your stepson to be an adult sibling - he gets to be not only a brother, but also a friend and mentor and trusted adult presence for little Ert. Hopefully he'll see that.


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Old 06-11-2012, 07:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Erica, I hope the GD test went well!

 

LilyTiger, I love the story about your DH and the "burrito things." Tell him that some people really do refer to swaddling that way! One of our friends made a "burrito wrap" for our baby and labeled it as such when she sent it to us. DH and I had no idea what she meant and had to Google it to figure out that she just meant swaddling blanket.

 

Mmm, burritos.


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Old 06-11-2012, 08:06 PM
 
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Okay, I'll write more later but... apparently my Dr lied. I had the 1 hour glucose test. I really didn't think it was bad at all though. I thought the drink was kinda yummy, lol. Tasted like flat orange soda to me. I felt fine during the hour wait, but we'llllll see how I did. I'm thinking I did okay since I felt totally fine, but I could totally be wrong. What I WAS annoyed over was... I have to go back next week for my results and my regular appointment. They told me it was today! Just irritated. My Dr's office is like 45 from my house (about 20 from my work). I'm just whining, but it annoyed me a lot. I think it had to do with my Dr leaving to deliver a baby (she's a one Dr practice) but her assistant was there, and I've seen her a few times so I don't understand why she didn't just see me. My poor DH left his work early in the Bronx to get there in time... just all around annoying. Hopefully I passed and then I'll get over myself. Lol. 


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Old 06-12-2012, 10:44 PM
 
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I had the best massage this morning.  My doula is also a masseuse.  She did the most wonderful prenatal massage-strong and deep ( I hate wimpy massages) and she knew all the places that needed it most.  Having more cramps tonight, but not regular so far. Hope all is well with you ladies.


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Old 06-13-2012, 11:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, CountryGirl, the massage sounds wonderful! I'm a little jealous of your cramps (this is definitely the first time I've ever said that!), since I'm still not feeling much of anything. Knowing that the baby could come anytime but may not arrive for another couple of weeks is driving me crazy! I'm not even due for another 10 days. duh.gif


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Old 06-13-2012, 11:43 PM
 
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Caly, great news about spacegirl's position! 10 more days!  I know it seems like forever, but wow.

CACG, great news about the massage. Ugh, I could use one. As I said, I just don't know why places here are so annoying about needed a doctor's note. My chiro didn't need one.

 

Hope both of you ladies are feeling zen and not too impatient, and feeling good. Looking forward to both these babies and hoping for the births you want.

 

Been furiously knitting, trying to catch up with the baby. Made this progress bar tonight for facebook and thought I'd share here, too. I have some crappy baby blanket pics but I will take nice ones this weekend after I am 3/4 done with the blanket, will also take nursery pics after the carpets get cleaned in there and we get the room put back together. Our entire house looks like we just moved in, ugh. 

 

progress-bars-06-13.gif

Kind of coming to peace with whatever interventions this genetic thing may or may not cause. My biggest worry, of course, is that low folate levels caused some sort of birth defect, but I think most of those were tested for at the NT scan, I don't know. I really just need tons of info from them on Monday. Basically I think that if I'm going to have tons of monitoring, meds, or anything during birth because of this, I might just go with it, schedule an induction, get an epidural, and not stress myself so much about wanting everything to be a certain way. We'll see what is necessary.



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Old 06-14-2012, 07:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:

progress-bars-06-13.gif

 

First, love this.

 

Second, holy cow! You're getting close, Boots! I can't believe The 'Badge is already 78% cooked. I hope the doctor has lots of helpful information for you on Monday so you can make an informed decision about how to proceed. I don't know how many times I've been told recently that births rarely unfold as we envision them and that flexibility is the key to a good birth experience. I think you can have an absolutely beautiful birth with medical interventions so long as you have a provider who has your best interests at heart, makes sure you are fully informed, and respects your decisions.


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Old 06-14-2012, 08:28 AM
 
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Ahhh, Boots, that's hilarious!  I basically gave up on my baby blanket, which would put mine at 80% vs. 22% or something depressing like that. 

 

I also totally agree with Caly on having a great birth even with interventions.  The major thing that I realized is that I'm fine with medical interventions as long as I trust my doctor enough to know that they are absolutely necessary and in the best interest of me and the babe.  Part of why I switched docs is that I just couldn't trust my first doc enough to know that any interventions she recommended would actually be necessary.  So much of how these kinds of interventions affect me, at least, depends on whether I feel like I was bullied into them or whether they are legitimate use of beneficial medical technology. 

 

AFM, every morning when I wake up there's a huge butt sticking out of my right side.  It's hilarious.  I have 53 more days to go or something crazy like that, so I should probably stop hanging around the mothering boards and actually get my work done.  eyesroll.gif


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Old 06-14-2012, 08:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am feeling out of sorts this evening--maybe it's hormonal? That nice, settled, peaceful state of mind I've been in for the last couple of weeks is gone. Now I'm terrified that I'm about to be responsible for a baby. I know it's going to be okay, but I feel really overwhelmed right now.


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Old 06-14-2012, 10:44 PM
 
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Totally normal Caly!  It is terrifying and wonderful to be responsible for a new life.  We are supposedly more hormonal right about now.  I have been feeling irritable and frustrated for no particular reason- except for the sore feet and hips I guess.  You will be a great mom to that little girl!


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Old 06-18-2012, 11:03 AM
 
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Oh my, I am kind of tracking my reading, baby cooking and progress on his room and stocking up on baby needs- well here is where I am:

 

reading: 20%

BABY 68%

BABY stuff: 60%

Organizing- (painting-  getting his room ready etc.) 0% beyond the fact that he HAS a room :(

 

Luckily- this is kind of a cop-out but I delegated the crafting to my wonderfully crafty mom- I picked out and designed a quilt and several crafted items and she is making them.  not the same I know- but I am just trying to keep the dishes done around here :)

 

Lily- on interventions- I feel 100% the way you do.  My OB is very natural birth centered and really had the stance that you only do things when medically nessicary.  That is a big part of my hiring a doula- to get that confirmation that it will be the right thing to do.  I also needed to hire a doula that would be even keeled and not go to war over a possible intervention because I just want to look at the overall experience and know that I trusted my team and that any interventions were nessicary and that I did the best that I could do with the situation I had- NO trauma.

 

Caly- sorry you are feeling emotional.  I got a bit off yesterday as well.  I started thinking about not just getting by regarding time and enjoyment- I fear that the next years will fly by in a haze of going to school, raising baby and husband working hard and that we will just get by- and I will look back exhausted and not remember much or feel like I enjoyed it.  I do not want to 'get by.' I want to cherish and savor this time.  I want to remember what I love and pass those things on to my baby.  I want to remember to laugh a lot, dance and sing in the kitchen and get outdoors and enjoy nature.  - I am also a bit wigged out at how much more vulnerable I feel in my relationship now- like I really really lean on husband and want him to love me the same way I love him, and that we are this real unit and family- basically having a baby solidifies the fact that you have combined your DNA to make a human- what a trip.  Although this is done everyday a million times this feels profound.  I feel scared that we will become mediocre and just get into a boring family pattern and that we will look at each other and forget who we are.  UGH sorry to go on and sound depressing.  I think I will get a diary and jot these fears down and promise myself to remember.  

Anyhow- I think when it comes to emotional distress it is important to get to the root fear we have, why we have that fear and explore it.  Think I will work on being mindful this week and outline what I want to remember so in the thick of things I will not loose touch.

 

I will get my GD results back tomorrow.  It was pretty bad- I drank the beverage on ice- not sure if you are supposed to do that- It was not all that bad- then at the 45 min mark I started to feel dizzy, and started sweating.  I do not consume much sugar- before I became pregnant I only drank water, coffee, unsweetend tea and wine.  Now I drink blueberry/acai juice, cherry juice and orange juice always with half water, and only a half glass.  So this amount of sugar was very unusual for me- ugh.  I hope that does not mean I am positive I really do not want to do the second test :(

 

Baby has been moving like crazy- which I love love.  We celebrated Fathers day with my step son- grilled steak and gardened.  I gave my husband a guitar book with folk and kids songs called 'let's sing together' so we can all sing songs together with the baby.  I changed my mind about going to Hawaii- like you CAcountry I have had hip pain, also sleep issues and other things- so I do not want to spend all of the money and time to go somewhere to fell crappy.  I went to see Snow White and was so restless in the seat, I had to change positions every 10 min.   There is no way I could do a 5 hour flight.  Also- Kauai is a small island and I am not sure they have all of the technology I may need if I ant into preterm labor.  So I think we will plan a nice weekend in one of the beautiful Nor Cal towns around here and take the baby with us to Hawaii in March of 2013.  I feel bad cause my dh has travel bug pretty bad but I just can't keep up.

 

 

Hope you all are doing great- can't believe we will have 2 babies here soon stillheart.gif


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Old 06-18-2012, 11:47 AM
 
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sweetsparrows, I hear you on so much of your above post.  I've been getting freaked out about having to go back to work at three months and missing all these important milestones (it's not really that bad, since it's only three days a week, but still).  And I feel like when I look back on my dogs, I barely remember them as puppies and feel like I missed their whole puppyhood and I'm terrified the same thing will happen with this baby.  I guess it's just a conscious effort to slow down and really be in the moment as much as possible.  I'm hoping to avoid overloading our lives with meaningless activities so we can just enjoy being together as they grow.  It's a tough balance though.

 

As for the GD test, one of the women from our DDC is a lot like you (doesn't eat sugar, etc.) and she failed the first test.  Her midwives let her just monitor her sugars at home because she was adamant about not taking the 3 hour.  That might be an option.  It is such a weird test and the rate of false positives is so high... I hope they find a better alternative soon.

 

AFM, this week things have really started moving.  My hips are opening up (lots of tossing and turning at night as a result) and I'm getting these crazy groin pains from baby hitting nerves.  I think the babe is dropping, since when I get up in the morning I feel sooooooo heavy, it's insane.  I'm also freaking out a little about baby's movement, because this must be the laziest fetus in the world, but it was great to hear the heartbeat this morning and know it's still in there.  I'm really hoping I go at 38 weeks like my mom did with all of us, but I'm not really expecting it.  38 weeks would be just five weeks away, which is crazy!

 

I can't believe how close Caly and CACountry are!  So exciting.


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Old 06-18-2012, 12:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lily, why don't you expect to make it to 38 weeks? Just curious. I can really relate to what you and Sparrows wrote. I don't think I can write out a detailed response right now without crying, but yeah, my feelings exactly.

 

I'm 39.2 today. The waiting game is so hard. I've had no signs of labor and am trying to prepare myself for a late arrival, but the thought of having to wait another couple of weeks makes me want to cry.

 

Seriously, everything makes me want to cry right now. eyesroll.gif


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Old 06-18-2012, 02:33 PM
 
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Caly, I meant that I'm not really expecting to come early at 38 weeks like my mom did with all of us.  This babe will probably hang on until the last possible moment, but it would be awesome to follow in my mom's footsteps and have the babe come a little early...

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Originally Posted by Calycanth View Post

Lily, why don't you expect to make it to 38 weeks? Just curious. I can really relate to what you and Sparrows wrote. I don't think I can write out a detailed response right now without crying, but yeah, my feelings exactly.


Seriously, everything makes me want to cry right now. eyesroll.gif

 

And I'm sorry about the emotions running riot!  I've been starting to feel much more emotional lately and less zen than I have previously.  That's another reason I'm hoping this babe might come a little early... the waiting period from 39 weeks or so until 42 weeks will be so hard (as I can only imagine you must be feeling!).


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Old 06-18-2012, 03:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, sorry! I think I misread your post the first time. 


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Old 06-18-2012, 10:49 PM
 
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Hi my bajingo sisters...

 

Sparrows, I really relate to a lot of what you said, too. I especially feel really vulnerable with my husband. I have read in books some husbands have the "What if she likes the baby more than me?" fear, but instead I have that fear, all the time. I am used to being taken care of by my husband, to be honest. He is the caretaker in the family with me, the cats, etc. And I feel like I am going to be such a mess after this birth and having to go back to work full-time after 8 weeks, and he will be too busy with the baby to notice I am crumbling. I also feel like I will suck at being a full time parent for those first 8 weeks, and then without even having learned half of what I need to know, I'll have to go back to work. i just see so much potential for ME to fail, not for the baby to actually not be cared for, but for things like giving up on breastfeeding, etc. I am scared to have someone so dependent on me, especially when that little someone will have no idea that I won't be able to be there for very long all the time.
Sounds like you made a smart decision about your trip and I hope you can find some time to spend with your DH that will feel special to you guys no matter where you are. Hope you can start to feel better about your baby prep, too. I felt like crap but once the crib was together, I suddenly felt better.

 

Lily, what you said about your dogs is so sweet... Just remember kids take longer to grow up all the way. I'm sorry about your hips and your ligament pain, but I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I feel like I should still be feeling better than I am. I am fine, no swelling or anything too terrible, but just aches and pains and sleeping is suddenly SO sporadic. I keep totally wishing for HB to come early, too, even though I know how unlikely it is--it would be SO nice to use some of this summer vacation as maternity leave and then still get 8 more weeks.

 

Caly, hug2.gif I was to say "I can't imagine waiting..."  but I don't have to freaking imagine it because we'll all be there soon enough! Hang on. I just hope you can find comfort in your husband and kitty and other distractions until the time comes. When is your next midwife appointment?

 

So we had our perinatal consult today and it was pretty uninformative, but I guess the good thing is that basically I have been released into my OB's care, which is a huge relief. Basically I need to do a fasting (ugh) blood test to see if I have high homocystine levels, if so I may have to be on blood thinner after birth and more folic acid ASAP. If not, I am fine. She said she really only sees the blood thinners as necessary if I have a C-section since I will have decreased mobility. Despite what I read, the doctor said there is no real risk to baby either way (well, I think she means despite any damage that is already "done" if I had low folate early on...) 

You know what, guys, there is a part of me that is a little disappointed because it means I need to put on my big girl panties and make some decisions about birth and not expect a medical problem to automatically do it for me.  I am really up in the air about pain medication during birth. I am afraid to even say I want to try to go without it because I feel like I will fail. Really I am not super thrilled with either the "of course, get your epidural ASAP you'll love it, you need it" crowd or the "totally natural and if not I fail/was pressured" crowd. My coworkers laughed at me before I got pregnant when I said I wanted to try to go without meds, I am not the toughest cookie when it comes to pain and fatigue, but I still feel like that was rude. I am also really scared that it's just USELESS to try to fight this battle being a plus size first-time mom. C-section rates for women in my BMI range are over 50%.

Anyway, tomorrow we go to our hospital birth class part one of two, and Wednesday I will see my OB and start to talk to her about birth (we haven't really talked about it yet). I meant to when I switched, but I was so relieved I never felt very defensive, but I know I need to discuss my feelings with her, especially about the high c-section rate for fat women, there's no real evidence that there's a medical reason, but people say all sorts of crazy crap about why.  I want to know her experience and try to form some sort of plan. I also want to see what she says when faced with someone who is on the fence about epis/pain meds.



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Old 06-19-2012, 05:36 AM
 
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Boots:  As for birth options, I think sometimes reading here you only see all or nothing stories. Many of the moms I've met in real life went into labor attempting a natural birth, but not being strongly anti-epidural. That way you can be proud of putting in the effort, but not disappointed if things don't work out that way. There's so many variables to birth. I am very proud that I went 20 hours med free, but when my blood pressure crashed and I need IVs I was thankful for the relief. So even though I didn't have a "natural" birth I was very satisfied with my labor and delivery overall. Since you know you have some challenges (I knew my blood pressure might be a problem) I think it is good to look at all possible outcomes. That way you are more knowledgeable and can still have some control over the experience. I say try your best, but remain flexible so you are happy with your birth.


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Old 06-19-2012, 08:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Boots:  As for birth options, I think sometimes reading here you only see all or nothing stories. Many of the moms I've met in real life went into labor attempting a natural birth, but not being strongly anti-epidural.

 

This is exactly the attitude I'm going in with. A lot of my birth plan is contingent on what happens while I'm in labor.

 

One of the books I read early in my pregnancy ("The Birth Partner" by Penny Simkin) makes a distinction between pain and suffering, and that has been really useful for me in thinking about my own labor. I expect and am ready to work through physical pain, but I am not willing to suffer (a psychological state of feeling out of control, helpless, panicky, frightened, or anguished). If I feel that I'm suffering, I will ask for pain medication. DH knows that's the plan and is 100% supportive.

 

Feeling like I have options and the power to make informed decisions is more important to me than having my birth fall into any particular category.


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Old 06-19-2012, 09:04 AM
 
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Boots:  I agree with Ramzubo.  Be flexible and willing to go with what your experience is.  We really can't predict how a birth will go beforehand.  I did go pain med free with my first, but it was as much due to total fear of the needle in the spine and anesthesia in general as determination to be tough.  Some people real do need it to complete the delivery (ie Ramzubo's BP) If you want to try it though, I can tell you that the time when I was finally in enough pain to be convinced I could not do it, I was there (at 10 c) and ready to push and it was quickly over with the best reward in the world in my arms.  I think the outcome of a heathy baby and a healthy mom trumps any expectations we have of our births and helps us be satisfied with their unpredictability.  That being said, it is still good to have a birth plan and some idea about how you want things to go so you don't get as rapidly pushed into something you don't want because of statistics (ie C-sectIon).  I really believe in a doula for this purpose if that would be something you are interested in.  They are solidly on your side and can help you feel confident in your decisions.  I  am sorry you have had to deal with BS about your size during this pregnancy.  I hope you finally have a supportive OB who will listen to your concerns and trust in your personal strengths.


Metreehugger.gif College Literature Professor reading.gif(36) and DH (35) married 7/05, together since 1/99; Mom to two lovely and fierce little girls: DD1 2/06 and, after 18 months TTC (and a couple years NTNP), DD2 born 7/3/12!  Dedicated AP parent who is for selective (most) vaccination.

 

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Old 06-19-2012, 11:14 AM
 
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Boots: I agree with everyone else! Just try to be prepared as possible and be open minded.

 

Caly: I'm getting in your boat, I think. I've been pretty good emotion wise my whole pregnancy, but all of a sudden... I'm crying over dumb things. My big dog only 1/2 killed a little cute mouse on our pack patio and I was hysterical. It was ridiculous. I had to literally think myself out of the emotions because I was sobbing like a fool. Lol!

 

2sweetsparrows: That stinks about not going to Hawaii, but I think going with your gutt is most important there. You can still enjoy a couple days away elsewhere!

 

AFM: I passed my 1 hour GB test! carrot.gifbanana.gif I had a feeling I did, but still thankful to actually hear the results from my Dr. My iron was also good, so that made me happy (although she still recommended eating a little more iron rich foods) my bp is still low, and my weight and babies weight are average. Yay! That made me feel especially good cause my stupid MIL told me this past weekend "I think you look big... and you're going to have a big baby". I wanted to punch her in the face. I told her (not so nicely) "I think YOU look big". So rude. I hate stupid pregnancy comments. Especially when every test, measurement, weight I've had... I've always been smack in the middle. Just made me mad. I think any pregnancy crankiness I have, has been directed at her because she's become super annoying and overbearing. She's the one watching my little lady when I go back to work, and I'm already beside myself with the thought of it. I just wanna stay home with her! Boooooo.


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