First time Mumma freaking out!!! (x posted in December DDC) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 04-12-2012, 04:14 AM - Thread Starter
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Hey Mummas, (Sorry in advance for being so down)


I am going to be honest. I am freaking out.

I don't know why.

I have felt this way since we found out. (Only three days ago)

We were actively trying. Its not like this is unexpected or unwanted!

This will be our first. The situation is fine and perfect so thats not it??

Yes I am excited. Yes I am happy.

But I am freaking out... And I honestly do not know why at all.


What is going on? I just want to cry! I feel devasted. And then I feel a bit guilty because I feel devasted!

Why do I feel like this????????????????


Experience, advice and suggestions are truly welcome.

Sorry this isn't a nice thread :(

treehugger.gifHappy Vegetarian Gal and geek.gif Techie Man-   heartbeat.gifNewly Wed!!!heartbeat.gif  Expecting "Albi" Christmas 2012 diaper.gif

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#2 of 5 Old 04-12-2012, 07:32 AM
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You would be surprised at how quickly hormones kick in.  Plus which, this isn't a minor change in your life.  You're completely altering your life forever.  It's a big deal.  I think it's very common to have a period of assessment or doubt at the beginning.  In my case, during the first trimester I kept doubting why we were doing this, what the point was, whether we were ruining our lives, etc.  Pretty negative thoughts considering we have a wonderful marriage and had been actively trying.  I found myself more and more dissatisfied with DH and with our house and so on.  Really frustrating.  By the second trimester all those doubts were just gone.  I entered the crazy blissful euphoric phase and never really looked back (I'm only 23 weeks though, so there's more ahead).


So, suffice it to say I think your thoughts are totally normal.  I tried to channel my negativity into home improvements, thinking about ways to make life easier once the baby is born (DH and I agreed that our poor organization would exponentially increase our stress levels, so we're putting in a new mud room and cubby system).  You could do something similar by just trying to pinpoint where these thoughts might be coming from all while being willing to recognize that some of them are probably just crazy hormones that will go away.  Trying to link your doubts and negativity to concrete problems will give you something to do and give you a feeling of accomplishment even as you work through a difficult time.


I hope this helps. It gets better!  For me at least, the second trimester is wonderful.  The first was pretty bad.  So there's hope!

Beautiful baby girl born 8/13/2012. Little star baby lost at 10 weeks pregnant, 12/18/2013. Rainbow baby girl born 12/22/2014.
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#3 of 5 Old 04-12-2012, 07:59 AM
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Aside from the huge hormonal surge, your life is going to change in HUGE ways.  They are good ways, but it is OKAY and normal for you to be overwhelmed by what your life WONT be like anymore.  Hang in there.. it gets so much better, and when you see that beautiful face that you know you helped to create.... it will take your breath away and so much of this will dissolve.  Give yourself time to adjust.. Its okay to feel this way.  (((HUGS)))

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#4 of 5 Old 04-12-2012, 09:36 AM
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I felt much the same way.  We had been trying, and I was nervous about conceiving because of my age (I'll be 41 in a couple of months).  But the moment I did, I was overwhelmed with fear and doubt and even regret.  I felt really guilty about it, but the more I read (and as you can see from the replies here), I think it's a more common reaction that one might think.  I was talking to a coworker who gave birth last fall, and she told me to not worry about what I *should* be feeling, but instead just accept my feelings for what they are.  I think a combination of hormones and life circumstances and probably other things, too, can create a very potent cocktail of emotions.

Hang in there and know that you are not alone... *hugs*

Robin read.gifPartner to J bikenew.gif and mom to G & R 10/3/12 twins.gif 
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#5 of 5 Old 04-12-2012, 06:38 PM
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Yes, I was going to say hormones as well. We tried for our baby, too but shortly after I got that BFP I thought oh crap what have we done. LOL  


I think it's completely normal. In a few weeks you'll feel better (er... if you don't get morning sickness).

Mom to DD1 reading.gif (11) & DD2 shine.gif homebirth.jpg(7) & DS babyboy.gif  h20homebirth.gif (9/10/12)


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