TMI on facebook. - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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I'm Pregnant > TMI on facebook.
beans's Avatar beans 03:29 PM 05-10-2012

I think the OP and some others would like this site: /


I think pregnancy and childbirth are magical, wondrous things that take place. I offer frequent updates to close friends and family when they happen to me and expect nothing less when friends are having their babies. I just don't do it on FB. In fact, I'm nearly 6 months pregnant and haven't "announced" my pregnancy on FB, nor do I intend to. Being so public is just not my style though.

GoBecGo's Avatar GoBecGo 04:05 PM 05-10-2012

I think it is odd for several reasons.


1) i limit my friends on FB.  If you're not ACTUALLY my friend then you're not going to be my FB friend!  I don't get people who have public profiles or who allow people who once dated a guy they met on the 8th grade school trip to be their "friend".  I frequently weed out my list.  I have naked, graphic homebirth pics (no actual vagina shots, but lots of boob/side-boob and one of a knotted cord across my belly still obviously running inside me) and i have never had them reported or complained about because i am CAREFUL about who would get to see them.  If i announced right now that i have masses of CM due to my early pregnancy state there wouldn't be a shocked person to read it, there's no one there i wouldn't say it to the face of.


2) I'm in the UK where cervical checks are for late (40+ or 41+ depending on region) pregnancy and labour.  What are these women DOING in labour that they are labouring enough to need a VE but still ok to be pottering about on FB!?  My labours were 89mins and 61mins, no time for drugs, at home both time.  I cannot really imagine doing what that felt like for 4 or 6 or 19 hours, but i doubt it would be so much easier and less intense that i'd be posting on FB during it.

lilbsmama's Avatar lilbsmama 07:36 AM 05-12-2012
Originally Posted by MeAndVee View Post

telling the whole world is a bit much. 


boogiebearlove's Avatar boogiebearlove 07:35 PM 05-12-2012

I'm kind of a birth junkie, so I absolutely love hearing these sorts of details. Although, I usually end up frustrated because their doctors are idiots, but that's something else altogether. I don't mind hearing about it, and when I post things of that nature I'm sure that they are only visible by people that I want to hear, like close family and friends. I try and keep my facebook friend list relatively small so that I know I'm only sharing with a select group of people. But I certainly know that everyone isn't so deliberate in their sharing! 

cmfowlkes1's Avatar cmfowlkes1 12:06 PM 05-14-2012

I share what others might consider TMI all the time. I think that is because I genuinely want to know TMI about others. It's the thing my friends love most about me. And its the way I've made a lot of friends. I can honestly say that every person I've met and been given the chance to learn about who they are is an incredible human being. Most of my friends are Christian and conservative and I'm about as crunchy-granola as they come, but we get along because we respect each other and because I know in their hearts they are living what is true for them even though it is different than what is true for me (or we hold some of the same truths, but have different ways in which we live those truths). I have found though that the more I know about someone the easier it is to love them unconditionally and respect our differences. For me personally, not sharing all of me would not be true to who I am, but I try not to make others uncomfortable--there is something to be said for reading social cues, and that is hard to do on Facebook. There are things that society considers more and less appropriate and sharing the progress of ones nether regions falls into the socially less appropriate box. And because of the culture we grow up in a lot of things from the less appropriate box make us uncomfortable. It sucks to get online and read something that makes you scrunch up your face and go, "Really?!" I think if I found myself in that situation I would the be happy that she is living her life, send positive thoughts her way, and hide her posts from my wall or remove her from my friends if I thought she was going to continue posting things that would make me uncomfortable. I also try to think about a moment when I've accidentally over-shared inappropriately and how people's reactions affected me. Even when I am uncomfortable with people over-sharing, I try my best to be tolerant and accepting when they do.


One of my favorite things about TMI is that moment when you realize that something that is totally socially unacceptable that happened to you also happened to a friend. It could be something as silly as a bodily function or as life changing as an intimate experience, but in that moment you realize that you're not the only one and its a special bond to share. I like being the friend that my conservative friends can share those experiences with because I see how it relieves them and makes them smile to be able show someone the parts of themselves they keep appropriately to themselves. I have not experienced pregnancy yet, but I'm so grateful to the brave women who have shared all the nitty-gritty details. I think the more women share, the more normalcy we can perceive in the birth process, and the more comfortable we can become with such a beautiful, natural process.

trekkingirl's Avatar trekkingirl 06:20 PM 05-14-2012

too bad I don't live in Maryland! You sound like an awesome friend to have.

tropicana74's Avatar tropicana74 05:31 AM 05-19-2012
Originally Posted by boogiebearlove View Post

I'm kind of a birth junkie, so I absolutely love hearing these sorts of details. Although, I usually end up frustrated because their doctors are idiots, but that's something else altogether. 

So true!! ROTFLMAO.gif

cmfowlkes1's Avatar cmfowlkes1 10:33 AM 04-10-2013

Trekkingirl, I wish you did too! I need more crunchy, TMI moms in my life now that I am prego :) I'm hoping I'll find a few more when I hit up LLL. 

Escaping's Avatar Escaping 10:55 AM 04-10-2013

Seeing status updates about that type of stuff doesn't really bother me, what bothers me is that it's becoming more and more expected for people to share every single detail of their bodily functions. The very first time I posted anything about my son's existence on FB was a picture of him after he was born. I heard later that people thought that was weird and there were various rumours about why I did that. 

I've noticed that, at least with my friends list, the people who are most vocal about how much they love their baby/life/significant other, etc. are the ones who are trying to maintain an image. The ones who are actually happy about such things don't need to report them in a Facebook status.  

MissyJeanBee's Avatar MissyJeanBee 12:26 PM 04-10-2013

She's excited about it, so of course she wants to share. I don't think it's weird or gross. If someone feels uncomfortable by it, they can ignore her posts.


I don't think it's fair to call what she's doing weird or gross. She shouldn't be shamed for sharing something that's so transformative for her.


I don't understand why anyone would let these posts about her cervix bother them. It's so easy to skim over someone's posts on Facebook or temporarily take them out of your news feed.


In response to another person on this thread, I've made several jokes on Facebook about "going to make babies with the hubby!" I'm glad I apparently have friends with a sense of humor.


We're in a time where people share the 99 cent hamburger they got from McDonalds on Instagram. If you don't like it, don't pay attention. No need to make it a point that you're seemingly "better" than that.

BroodyWoodsgal's Avatar BroodyWoodsgal 12:22 PM 04-12-2013

lol Holy thread coming back from the dead! hahah

Tags: Pregnancy
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