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A Peaceful Pregnancy

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17K views 369 replies 46 participants last post by  pokeyac 
#1 ·
Inspired by a Sane 2WW created by zenquaker, this thread is a place for pregnant women at all stages of the process to come together to explore their emotions during pregnancy, particularly the unsettling ones such as fear, anxiety, and impatience. Together we can help one another frame pregnancy as a sacred time, offering compassionate suggestions and discussion to one another.

This is a place to prepare our minds, bodies, and spirits for what is to come. Let's not discuss nursery design or debate the merits of a favorite baby carrier (worthy pursuits, definitely, but better discussed in other places).

All religions, spiritual practices, and atheists are welcome to this discussion!
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Resources to help guide you through a peaceful pregnancy (listed in no particular order; most resources have been mentioned in this thread one way or another -- if you feel misrepresented, please ping OP)

(A work in progress!)

Trust Tending: Transforming fear with trust

Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful: Experience the Natural Power of Pregnancy and Birth with Kundalini Yoga and Meditation by Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa

Yoga with Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa

Sheryl Paul: A psychotherapist on Conscious Transitions and Conscious Motherhood

Freebirth educator Jeannine Parvati Baker

An inspiring article about being absorbed in life: An Absorbing Errand by JANNA MALAMUD SMITH

Anji fertility meditations (this one is on healing after loss)

Mindful breathing meditation for pregnancy, and info on the book Mindful Motherhood: http://www.noetic.org/library/audio-experientials/mindful-breathing-meditation/
 
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#52 ·
Congrats pokey! So good you made it over here
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I've been languishing for want of really good books to read this pregnancy. My first pregnancy I'd find some uplifting book every couple weeks or so, but this time it's been a dry stretch. Occupying myself with crocheting, taking long walks and connecting with friends.

writinglove, glad to hear you're doing the inner work - so much of life is not within our control...sometimes it comes home to me so strongly that our notions of control is an illusion...so don't blame yourself mama. Lately I've been pondering a quote from Gandhi in the context of achieving that "perfect birth", and realizing the truth of what he says, "The outward freedom that we shall attain will only be in exact proportion to the inward freedom to which we may have grown at a given moment. And if this is a correct view of freedom, our chief energy must be concentrated on achieving reform from within." The only control we really have is from doing our inner work...not in trying to arrange external factors just so.
 
#53 ·
im feeling nervous.. i have my first scan next week.. but that also leads my way into my twelth week. There is a possibility for complications but im trying to think positively. I think i'm supposed to feel really great about the scan but i keep thinking its going to show my biggest fear.. i dont really know how to feel at the moment..
 
#54 ·
Hi, just coming over to join this thread from Saner TTC. I got a BFP this morning! It's very early. CD 25 but I wanted to get into a place of support and positive thinking right away rather than focus on my "magical thinking" that I will jinx things if I have hope.

I am feeling surprisingly zen so far. I thought the minute I got a BFP I'd start worrying about another m/c but I am staying calm and hopeful.

My plan is to keep myself busy. I am doing Nanowrimo (fun thing you can join where you write a 50,000 word novel during the month of Nov) which should keep me very occupied (assuming I can keep up!). I am also setting aside all my intense adventure/semi-violent tv shows and instead starting a steady diet of Jane Austen movies, romantic comedies, and happy tv shows (sitcoms, Gilmore Girls,etc . . .) I just want to surround myself with fun, frivolous things that make me feel happy. :)

Writinglove and pokeyAC
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Hi timesway, hoping your scan went well.

Peace to all.
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#55 ·
Hello everyone!

Welcome beingmommy! It's so lovely to "see" you here. I had a similar reaction with tv and movies. When we were still TTC, I couldn't handle anything dramatic or depressing. I would only watch comedies and fluffy stuff. Now that I am pg, I can watch more dramatic stuff, but I don't think I can handle anything too tragic especially stories about babies or children. I just don't want to hear it.

timesway - How did your scan go? I hope you got to see a healthy little baby and heartbeat in there.

writinglove - Thank you for the warm welcome. I'm glad you are moving towards being able to forgive yourself and that George is helping you along. I can understand why this would be a difficult time for you.

keeptryst - How is the crocheting going? You reminded me that I had thought about knitting a baby blanket. I will have to get on that ASAP.

AFM-I'm still feeling well and peaceful. The blood tests are done and last week we had the first ultrasound. We got to see our perfect little baby and see and hear its heartbeat. I felt that everything would be fine, but it was wonderful to see it with my own eyes. I still don't totally believe this is real, but I'm sure that will set in soon enough. I have been taking a yoga class that is a mix of regular folks and prenatal women for about a year. I started to help me conceive. Now that I am pregnant, I am not quite sure how to transition to prenatal. I haven't told my teachers yet because it seems so early and I can still do the regular poses, but I feel like I will need to let them know soon. I saw the other pregnant women in class talking with each other because they were meeting for the first time. I realized that I will need to start making some pregnant friends soon, but I'm not sure how. Having a big pregnant belly will definitely draw more attention to me, and this is a time for me to work on being more outgoing. One step at a time.
 
#56 ·
Happy to see more new members!

Beingmommy, your plans for staying busy sound great. Keep us posted on your NaNoWriMo progress.

Keeptryst, how did your scan go?

Pokey, how is it going?

AFM, I'm having one of the better days I have had in a long time. There is no rhyme or reason for why I am feeling better, but I'll take it. Someone earlier on asked which meditations I have been listening to. After I lost George, I found the Anji Meditations for Pregnancy Loss, "A Soft Place to Land." I still listen to number three which is about staying open and feeling trust. http://anjionline.com/blog/newmeditationsforpregnancyloss/

I think I've also turned over a bit of a new leaf in terms of surrender. This morning as I was running my bath water I realized that I had to give this pregnancy up to the Universe/God. It is too early for me to know if there is something wrong, so my personal agency is so limited. I'm learning to be more kind to my constant vigilance, and I think the result is a softening of it.

peace to you all!
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#57 ·
Writinglove, so glad to hear about your peaceful feelings! I am going to check out those meditations too. They sound wonderful.

PokeyAC, glad you are doing well too! The yoga sounds lovely.

AFM: I struggled a lot with anxiety yesterday and the day before. I just made my first appointment for a viablity scan at 7ish weeks (about three weeks from now). I got really anxious after that. It made it real and made me realize that I had to make it to that date without any outward sign of a m/c AND THEN see a heartbeat. And then I am still nowhere near out of the woods. Whew! Scared.

BUT I am doing better today. I have been keeping to my more uplifting movies/show plan and doing Nanowrimo which is VERY distracting. I kept up my word count yesterday and am on track for today. Yay! It is very helpful because now I am starting to obsess about my characters and story instead of this pregnancy.

My husband and I also do our gratitude journals together at night and I have noticed that I am more open to good things happening this pregnancy than I was during the last one.
 
#58 ·
Hi all!

I just found out I'm pregnant this afternoon! I have 3 wonderful children and had beautiful, peaceful pregnancies.

I had a 2nd trimester miscarriage in June and I find myself already anxious about it happening again! I cried when I saw those two lines...and not in the normal, happy way!

I'm so glad I found this thread!

hugs to you all!!
 
#59 ·
Hi all,

Since we have so many new people, I have decided to compile all of the helpful resources people have called out as being helpful in their pursuit of a peaceful pregnancy. The compilation is at the top of the thread in the OP.

If you have anything to add to the list, please let me know by bolding your addition.

I hope people find this exercise to be helpful. I know I truly appreciate a tribe of women who are working together to stay grounded during their pregnancies.
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#62 ·
Hello everyone! I'm so glad to be here! I got the official word yesterday from my blood test on Friday and just confirmed the numbers are rising with another blood test this morning.
I know a lot can happen between now and 35 more weeks but I want to enjoy this moment. I don't feel pregnant at all, I was completely baffled at the results as I had gotten BFNs at 11, 16 and 18 DPO... I am scheduled for an early ultrasound next week to see if there is anything to see but in the mean time I want to feel a little bit like I'm pregnant and join this group since I enjoyed your company so much in the TTC thread.
 
#63 ·
Welcome, Dakipode. Congratulations on your BFP!! I'm so happy to see you here.

Please keep us posted as you navigate the 40 week wait. I've added resources posters have recommended over the months to the original post. Please let us know what external/internal resources you come across to help you stay peaceful during your pregnancy.

namaste.gif
 
#65 ·
dakipode! I'm so happy to see you here! Congratulations! At this point you just have to go on faith to know everything is ok. I hope the next 35 weeks are peaceful and full of joy. Something sticks with me that someone said once upon a time. I tell myself, "Today, I am pregnant." You don't know what tomorrow may bring, but be happy for today because today you are pregnant.

AFM-I am doing well. I am 10 weeks tomorrow and actually starting to feel a little better. I had my first official prenatal appointment yesterday, and everything looks great. The Dr. did an ultrasound so we have new pictures. It's amazing how much difference 1 month makes and how big the baby has gotten. I was a tiny bit worried that something might be wrong. I think I have just read too many stories about what can happen. To stay zen, I am trying to avoid reading stories of loss. I feel for the people, of course, but I just don't want to be in that space right now. We had to watch a video about prenatal screening and testing before our appointment. I was very happy that DW and I are on the same page about what tests we are ok with. Now I will need to practice my techniques for staying calm while we wait for the test results. I haven't been having too much anxiety the last couple months. I do tend to lean towards anxiety, but I am very happy that this is not a problem for me now. I am taking it easy and trying to enjoy each day and each milestone as we reach it. I hope everyone else is doing well and that those of you who are in the US have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
 
#66 ·
Dakipode, so happy to see you here! I'll congratulate you again! You know, I'll admit, I had this secret hope that you'd end up getting a BFP after your cycle was just going so long. My SIL had several BFNs a couple of months ago and then finally after her period was very late got a BFP. She's now 11ish weeks and all is well.

AFM: So sick. So very, very sick. This 24/7 wretched morning sickness is really hard. I haven't thrown up yet but the constant, gnawing, gagging nausea is rough. It's whole body nausea too, like car sickness. Monday I had to lie downt he entire day I was so dizzy. Hard to be a good mommy to my DS on those days. I am struggling a lot with anxiety too. I saw my therapist yesterday and she thinks part of the anxiety is hormonal as I am doing everything I should be to manage my anxiety overall. It's good to hear (as I was starting to be frustrated with myself) but also disheartening that no amount of meditation seems to be helping. BUT I am still working on it. The constant nausea also creates a feedback loop for the anxiety. I am trying to trust that everything will be okay. I have my first scan next week and am scared but also in as good a headspace as I can be with my loss history and what not. Whew.
 
#67 ·
Hello ladies,
I'm sorry to say that I won't be joining you after all. I'm sad but I know I'm in good company in the Saner TTC thread and I hope to be back soon!
May you all have wonderful pregnancies and beautiful babies!
 
#69 ·
I'm sorry, daki. Love to you. We hope to see you back here soon.
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Being mommy, I, too, have an uptick in anxiety when I am not feeling well. I don't have any magic formula for you, but I do know that the sheer act of noticing that your anxiety is a result of not feeling well does release a girl from part of it's grip. Hormones are tough!

AFM, I at 24 weeks, and I'm in a really in difficult a place, wishing I could go back to the blissful, naive place that I was in at this point during my last pregnancy. I'm truly irritable. I hate having a history of stillbirth, I miss my midwife, and I'm having trouble trusting my DH, this pregnancy, my abilities as a mother, and the world. Tonight I plan to start listening to hypnobabies to hopefully quiet some of my fears/distrust, and to connect with this little one. I wish I had more energy to exercise. Last night I had a prenatal massage, which was one of the best decisions I have made so far. Not sure why I waited so long!
 
#70 ·
Hi, everyone! I've been scarce because of life's fullness, but still working very much in the spirit of the Saner Pregnancy. Thank you so very much to writinglove for keeping this going, and for welcoming each new pregnancy on the thread! Thank you also for the wonderful resources for our first page.

I've been doing fine with the pregnancy so far. 20 week scan looked good (beautiful, actually :). We found out we'll be welcoming a girl, and since we already have a boy, this makes me very, very happy. Her name will be the same as my much-loved MIL's nickname. We saw family over the holiday and they already love her. My SILs and MIL had a baby shower for us, so happy were they to be able to buy girl stuff (boy-heavy on that side). Husband and I are talking strategy for cribs, daycare, time off, etc.

Which is all to say that what's been keeping me sane are all the "jobs" or milestones or stages of pregnancy: the scans, the doctor visits, the getting the layette ready, the preparing of freezer meals, the childbirth classes (hmmmm. need to get on that). When I'm not thinking of these activities I can start to go to the anxious place, where I worry about stillbirth, major disability, problems with labor, my son's well-being, etc. The jobs are an active way of saying, "I'm getting ready for you, if you should come, and am open to many ways of you coming to us, and open to whomever you turn out to be."

The kicks and rolls help, too, especially as she is very active during the day. It is impossible to forget her at work when she's having a workout.

Every day I feel those kicks is a day we're closer to meeting her in person, and another day she's making it. I sort of feel like that when preparing for my son's sixth birthday party tomorrow: like, he's made it six years, six years we've been blessed to still have him. I know that's grim, but that's why we have birthdays! To celebrate that we're still around. And with how overactive my imagination is, I choose to turn my anxiety over his safety into gratefulness over his continued presence in my life.

Glad you ladies are here :)
 
#71 ·
Thank you so much for posting this article. After my first appt with our midwife yesterday, and an US. I was feeling good. until they came in the room and shared that baby was only 6 weeks and 1 day and had a low heartbeat of 70. I felt anxious nod panicked for hours and was so worried about the possibility of miscarriage. After doing some research, it seems this is not so unusualnfornthis stage. I am focusing on being positive and not thinking of the possible what ifs I may not like. This article on control reminds me how out of control I am and to just be and live. What will happen is already happening, one way or the other. Today I am taking time to do thing I love, besides focusing only on my pregnancy. Thank you so much for this message and refocus in my life.
 
#72 ·
Hi all!

Dakipode, I wrote on the Saner TTC thread but again I am so so sorry.
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Writinglove, so glad you got the massage and as I said on the FB group that I love Hypnobabies so I hope it has helped quiet some of your anxiety.
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Zenquaker, good to "meet" you! Great to hear all your focused thoughts and how you manage the anxiety.

Franny13, sending vibes for things to turn out fine. I know it can be so scary. I really like your idea of taking time to do things you love.

AFM: Whew! Had my sanity greatly challenged yesterday when I had a lot of sudden, gushing, bright red bleeding. I thought it was all over (I am at 8 weeks) BUT a scan found a growing, wiggling baby with a great heartbeat. I have a SCH which may cause much more bleeding and clots and cramping for a bit yet. My heart feels a bit frazzled imagining it all. But I am calm this morning. I am trying to give everything over to the universe and know what will be will be. All I can do it take care of myself and be positive and hopeful. This thread is reminding me to do that. Thanks all.
 
#73 ·
Hi all. I guess I belong here now. Woot!

Hope everyone is having a good-as-can-be-expected-Monday.
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August seems very, very, very far away. I'm trying not to think of all the horrible things that can happen between now and then and just enjoy the knowledge that there's a life brewing away down there in my belly...
 
#74 ·
Welcome GIS! Congratulations!!

The 40ww is a true challenge: body, mind, and spirit. If during your journey you discover peaceful ways to cope with this challenge, please do share them with the group. Feel free to come here to vent about the challenges, too.

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#75 ·
Hi all, I'm joining you here at 8 wks pregnant. My DH and I have a history of losses due to a balanced translocation in his chromosomes. In a nutshell, we have been given about a 25% chance of a healthy baby for each pregnancy. Thankfully these past few weeks have been good, I haven't had spotting, and I've felt increasingly nauseous. I had an early scan two weeks ago that showed a strong heartbeat and on-target growth. Tomorrow morning I'm going in for another scan to check up on growth and make sure there's still a heartbeat. As for me, I'm just trying to stay calm and remind myself that if it is meant to be, it will work this time. Send positive thoughts my way for a good appointment tomorrow!
 
#76 ·
Hi coffeebean. I'm so happy to see you hear. I'm glad things have been going well. I believe the odds have got to be on your side sometime. Sending lots of positive vibes your way for a healthy baby and good luck at your appointment tomorrow.
 
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