Inspired by a Sane 2WW created by zenquaker, this thread is a place for pregnant women at all stages of the process to come together to explore their emotions during pregnancy, particularly the unsettling ones such as fear, anxiety, and impatience. Together we can help one another frame pregnancy as a sacred time, offering compassionate suggestions and discussion to one another.
This is a place to prepare our minds, bodies, and spirits for what is to come. Let's not discuss nursery design or debate the merits of a favorite baby carrier (worthy pursuits, definitely, but better discussed in other places).
All religions, spiritual practices, and atheists are welcome to this discussion!
Resources to help guide you through a peaceful pregnancy (listed in no particular order; most resources have been mentioned in this thread one way or another -- if you feel misrepresented, please ping OP)
pokey - It's so comforting to see you here, and around the other boards. I think because you were one of the very first people to respond to me my first day posting on MDC, I've just always appreciated knowing you're there. Thank you SO much for the support! I love your outlook on doing what you can, when you can. I never did make it to my cycling class the other night. I wasn't too tired, but with all the excitement and thoughts starting to sink in, I just wanted to be home. DW knows someone who worked at a gym that is unfortunately going out of business, and I think we are going to be getting a free used elliptical from them soon which will be so nice to have as an option. I've never had workout equipment at home before.
A question for anyone who's interested - What tips do you have for balancing the "information overload" out there about what pregnant women should do/eat/drink/read/etc with your desire to have a peaceful pregnancy?
My sentiment exactly, deborah! To me knowledge is power. I've speedread my way through a couple of books this past week and mostly it's stuff I'm already familiar with so it goes in the "yeah yeah" category. Sometimes I come across an interesting fact but in my mind it never applies to me and so that goes int the "hmmm, I didn't know that!" (like the lunchmeat thing) category.
Also both the docs at the fertility clinic have a relaxed attitude and that helps. I mostly keep my research to myself but they're also not overwhelming me with lists of things to avoid etc.
I do heat up my deli meat, but I still drink peppermint tea even though some books say to avoid peppermint when really the only issue is if it's in medicinal doses.
Thanks, Sphinxy! It's great to see you here too! I'm glad I've been able to help. I also enjoy seeing folks in different parts of the community. I get to talk with people I wouldn't get to talk to elsewhere. I know what you mean about being overwhelmed and just wanting to be home with DW. We both get that way sometimes. In terms of the information overload, I don't think it bothers me much. I ignore what I want to ignore. I have learned a few new things as well that have been useful. I have trained as a doula so I've read a lot about pregnancy over the years so a lot of information is not new to me, but experienceing it myself is definitely new.
Beautiful baby bump, Deborah! I'm so glad the baby is growing like it should be.
GISdiva-Yeah for a healthy reminder you're pregnant. I was bloated from the very beginning so I could definitely tell, but I'm almost 20 weeks now and I still haven't told everyone at work. No one has asked yet. It may be getting to the point where it's kind of ridiculous, but I've always been good at keeping things to myself. A little too good perhaps.
AFM--Had my big ultrasound today and it's a boy! The first shot we got was nice view of his butt. It was very clear. We couldn't see his face very well, but the genitals were on full display. It was kind of funny. We were both hoping for a girl, but I don't feel disappointed at all. I feel happy. Seeing him and learning more about our baby makes it all feel more real. He will be here pretty soon. We have a lot of work to do before that. It's so reassuring to see him in there wriggling around and looking healthy. Knowing it's a boy just gives us a lot to think about. Neither of us has any brothers so little boys are somewhat of a mystery, but we'll figure it out.
Thanks Pokey! Me too. We had trouble growing our boys, so I'm thrilled to be huge quickly. Yay for a healthy ultrasound and boys are fun! I watch a sweet little boy regularly.
Oh my God, Deborah. I am so sorry. There are no words I can offer that will help. It's just not fair. You've been through so much. I'll be thinking of you and your family.
I've come to accept what my doc told me last time: if anything goes wrong at this point there's really nothing we can do. With that in mind I've decided to cancel my appt next week (9w and some) and transfer to a regular OB practice.
I'm fairly sure I want the NT scan for various reasons: DH is older, though I've read that doesn't affect things as much under age 50 for men; I have zero information about my genetic background since I was adopted; and I'm still slightly worried about the fact that I got pregnant so soon after the methotrexate shot.
Overall I'm doing ok with staying sane. In a weird way it helps that I haven't told many people yet because then others don't constantly remind me.
How's everyone else?
Hi dakipode! I'm hoping to hear a heartbeat at the midwife's this evening at 13 weeks so I can finally make the announcement to the world. It's going to be a loooong day.
I take comfort that we at least made it this far! That second trimester bounce can come any day now...
Hi all. So happy to be joining you. I'm trying to find the balance. Having had four miscarriages at this point, I have decided to get very early care and way more testing than I normally do earlier in the pregnancy, but I definitely feel ambivalent. I feel like I've already got myself sucked into unnecessary testing. I really want to focus, this pregnancy, on learning to trust my body again.
Also, I'm feeling really impatient. Having so many losses, I keep going through the first trimester over and over again. I just want to finally move on!
Hello revolting, and congratulations!
I'm afraid I don't have much to offer you where advice or sage words is concerned. My experience so far has been that the 2ww just turns into a longer wait, possibly filled with even more questions and anxiety than before.
What sort of knowledge would reassure you/help you learn to trust your body again? I can imagine that you have many questions about your body after so many losses. Would you be able to get answers through early care and testing?
Seriously. Really, until reliable tests, women just didn't know until they started showing and felt movement. Although knowing you're pregnant but not if it will "stick" is bad, I would think that really really NOT knowing and living in a could-be-pregnant-at-any-time state would be worse.
I would be one of plenty of women, who would not have been clueless before the advent of modern pregnancy tests, until the first movements. Mittelschmertz is the ovulation pain that apparently enough German women have, to have a word for it, in German. I don't know if there's a word for the peculiar implantation feeling that is like a cord being tugged at in there, but enough women experience it.
Hello! I'm good. Trucking along at 26 weeks. It feels like time is flying by now. I'm starting to feel more pregnant. I can really tell there is a baby in my belly growing and moving. I'm starting to think more about labor. We toured one hospital the other day, and we will tour the other one next month. We are also signed up for childbirth classes for April. I downloaded a hypnosis thingy that I need to check out soon to see if I like it. I also started reading Birthing from Within, but the YA novels are drawing me in so I haven't gotten very far. I can't remember what I said last time, but I have placenta previa. I haven't had any problems, but my doctor put a few restrictions on me. We had to cancel our babymoon trip to Vegas, but we are going to drive to Monterey instead. I'm looking forward to the nice big bed and soaking tub at the hotel. I have another ultrasound on April 1st to see if the placenta has moved. 90% of the time it does, so we're very hopeful. Once we know what's going on, I will feel like we can start planning when people should come visit. My mom will come first. Since she's flying out, I don't want her to come too early or too late, but you never know when the show will get started.
I am actually anticipating a live birth next month, also our 3rd unassisted, Lord willing!!! It feels like it has been a loooong time since I have been at this point. I am so excited, I LOVE labor and can't wait. At this point, it's hard to be "peaceful" about everything because I can hardly contain my excitement and it makes everyday drag by! LOL
That's wonderful, 1babysmom! I'm so happy for you. Could you tell us more about what you love about labor? Just curious. This is my first baby. I'm not fearing labor or thinking it will be terrible, but it would be nice to hear from someone who really enjoys it.
That's wonderful, 1babysmom! I'm so happy for you. Could you tell us more about what you love about labor? Just curious. This is my first baby. I'm not fearing labor or thinking it will be terrible, but it would be nice to hear from someone who really enjoys it.
Oh you should be thankful that I am on my phone because otherwise I could go on and on! LOL. Really, if labor could be a hobby, it would be my favorite one. LOL. I know that sounds silly but I just adore the process. It was a learned thing, though...I didn't love it quite as much after my first birth. She was induced at home (AROM) and I didn't trust my body enough to listen to it so I gave into fear and had horrible hip labor because I was afraid to move, and we finally went in to get an epidural. I had a pretty ideal epi experience though, but I just knew I wanted something more next time. So the next time was my first unassisted birth and being in control at home really made all the difference (so for that matter, I can't say I would still love it as much if I had to birth elsewhere or under other circumstances). I just learned that listening and responding to my body really eased pain and that I could trust the process and it was just such an incredible experience that I couldn't wait to do it again. I think actually LIVING the experience of knowing what my body needed (rather that just the idea I had of it) was incredible. The next UC was just as awesome (though very different...much longer, bigger baby, huge head...) and really confirmed my feelings about labor. I am just so excited to see what this one brings and how it will all play out!!
Pokey - What YA books are you reading?
1babysmom - I wish I had your trust in your body like that. I don't care much for my care providers, but despite having an accidental unassisted birth, I don't have that confidence.
AFM: 9 weeks. Keep pushing back my next prenatal appointment since at this point there's nothing that can be done for this pregnancy other than prayer. I haven't felt very peaceful, really. The first pregnancy I lost in 2012 was at 9 weeks, and I feel like each time I hit a week where I lost a baby, I get a little more lost in grief. My next prenatal is at almost 13 weeks.
revolting-I am reading the third book in the Delirium trilogy, Requiem. It's going to be a TV show on Fox too. It's pretty good. I'm sorry you are having trouble finding peace. Losses make that so much harder. For me, when I got past the point when I lost my first pregnancy, I felt much better, but I got nervous again at each little milestone. I hope your prayers are answered and the little one keeps growing healthy and strong.
Pokey - What YA books are you reading?
1babysmom - I wish I had your trust in your body like that. I don't care much for my care providers, but despite having an accidental unassisted birth, I don't have that confidence.
AFM: 9 weeks. Keep pushing back my next prenatal appointment since at this point there's nothing that can be done for this pregnancy other than prayer. I haven't felt very peaceful, really. The first pregnancy I lost in 2012 was at 9 weeks, and I feel like each time I hit a week where I lost a baby, I get a little more lost in grief. My next prenatal is at almost 13 weeks.
It's so hard, mama. Even at this point where I am finally in the home stretch, after 7 losses and only 3 live births I honestly don't trust my body as a safe place for my babies. It's like....one mistake and it could be over. (Not that I have all the control but I am sure you know what I mean). Who knows. But perhaps that is also one of the reasons I so look forward to labor...because it means baby will no longer rely on my seemingly messed up and broken body.
For me, labour is my second favorite part of the pregnancy because to me it means that the long nightmarish nine months of discomfort, queasiness, insomnia and irritability are OVER. I'm just getting over the sickness hump and this time, it seems, I will not get my 3 week break, the insomnia has already started. I'm glad I don't work full time, and my DD sleeps in until 8.30 - 9 because otherwise, I don't think I could handle it.
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