Needing Understanding and Encouragement - Mothering Forums
I'm Pregnant > Needing Understanding and Encouragement
orthodoxmom's Avatar orthodoxmom 04:44 PM 09-09-2012

Hi.  I am 43.  I have three children (ages 17, 13, and 21/2)  Yes....BIG gap.  Baby #3 was a big surprise and now.....I'm 6 weeks pregnant.  Surprise again.  Honestly we tried after our youngest was almost a year....had a miscarriage after trying a couple months, tried again but gave up about 8 months ago and firmly decided and came to grips with that we didn't really want anymore at this age or with other factors in our life. And yet, here we are again.

 

So as I struggle with many many MANY mixed emotions (not to mention horomones) we are dealing with a subchoriaric hemorage at 6 weeks.....(I posted about this yesterday)....and a 17 year old who is seemingly angry about it and a strong desire NOT to tell my family as I just know they will be judgemental and not all that supportive.

 

The hemorage is not causing much bleeding....the last spotting I had was yesterday...it was pink so I wasnt happy with that but still very light and I haven't had any since....so I'm remaining hopeful despite the fact that statistics are worse when older.

 

I'll deal with my family too, I guess.  I'm hesitant to tell them right now with the threat of a miscarriage so high right now because I know or am fairly certain I won't get support, encouragement, or understanding from them, so what's the point.  But I feel bad because our church family knows and while there's little chance of them finding out from anyone, I still feel strange that so many people do know when my family doesn't.

 

It's my 17 year old that worries me.  This is her senior year and I wanted it to be really special .  Not that it can't be but right now she is acting angry and we know she hasn't even shared this information with her best friend yet and refuses to talk to her brother about it (who is very excited and hopeful).  I'm just wondering if anyone else has had older children who are not happy about another sibling....  and I don't mean a few years older and typical jealousy issues.  I mean older...teenagers...and really seems angry and unhappy about the situation. 

 

And I'm still struggling with my own mixed emotions.  This is something I really wanted a year and a half ago.  But had really decided against and had accepted that completely.  But this is possibly a life that I have been given by a God who knows better than me.  So I struggle with a mixture of joy and shock and feelings of not being capable of dealing with another pregnancy, another LABOR, and more dirty diapers.  That probably sounds terrible to most of you.  But dealing with the possible threat of miscarriage also terrifies me so I know deep down, despite my worries and fears, I do want this child. And I do want my family, especially my daughter, to be happy for me. 

 

Anyway, I guess I just needed to vent a bit and perhaps seek some words of encouragement.  Thank you to all that take the time to read this.  Prayers are always welcome. :)



orthodoxmom's Avatar orthodoxmom 07:51 AM 09-10-2012

red blood today.   Scared.  And my dh is away taking his oral board review test..... so I dont have the heart to tell him until it's over....


librarygirl's Avatar librarygirl 09:43 AM 09-10-2012

*hugs*

 

No words of advice other than to take of yourself and hopefully, your bean.


Kynid's Avatar Kynid 02:09 PM 09-10-2012

Did you call your doctor? I would ask for an ultrasound for piece of mind. You should be able to see a heartbeat at 6 weeks. Good luck Momma 


at_the_hip's Avatar at_the_hip 02:28 PM 09-10-2012

I posted on your other thread...about the sch and some encouragement, I hope!

 

At 17 life is hard and self-centered.  Just don't give up on her and she'll be ok! 


orthodoxmom's Avatar orthodoxmom 02:42 PM 09-10-2012

Thank you all.   I won't give up on her....I'm just trying very very hard to give her her space and not take her behavior personally...that's about all I can do right now.

 

As for the ultrasound we had that on Thursday I think it was.. it did show a hearbeat The doctor thought 109 was low but did say it was early so that may explain that... he suggested another one in a week but we have one scheduled in 2 weeks when my midwife gets back. Until then my dh plans on taking me for bloodwork tomorrow to make sure the numbers are still going up.


velveeta's Avatar velveeta 01:30 PM 09-11-2012
Just wanted you to know that I am praying for all of you. You are a sweet and caring mom.
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