I'm pregnant for the last time and I'm doing these things differently because of that - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 11-04-2012, 04:12 PM - Thread Starter
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This is my last pregnancy, my third child.  My husband will be getting a vasectomy after the baby is born.  In different circumstances, like if my mother lived with us, or if I was wealthy enough to have an au pair, I would have more children.  I'm still in my twenties, so I think it is hard for me to say goodbye to never having another child because I have so many fertile years ahead of me.  I'm praying that I have twins, so that I can feel done after this pregnancy.  That said, there are many things I'm doing differently this pregnancy because I know it is my last.  Here is my list:


-this time my mother will not be at my birth.  I love my mother, and she has been at my previous two births.  Since my last child was born I have had a bit of a catharsis of all the ways that my relationship with my mother is dysfunctional, and this has led to tremendous personal growth for me.  I think part of my process of letting go of this dysfuntion and not perpetuating it will be to not have my mother at my birth. 


-this pregnancy I will take my prenatal vitamins and I will nourish my body!  I will work preventatively to not get anemic.  And beyond that, I will not overeat.  Last pregnancy I had terrible gallbladder issues because I was overeating so much, not to mention I balloned up to 185, when I am normally 135.  It was not a healthy pregnancy gain, it was an I'm overeating because I'm depressed weight gain.  This pregnancy I will eat when I'm hungry, but not overdue it with portion sizes.


-I'm going to buy the $70 woven wrap that I deemed to be too frivolous last pregnancy.  On that same line,  I'm buying a baby hammock because I want one, not because we need one.


-At this birth I will have a professional photographer.  I may even get more professional photos a few weeks later when the baby isn't as wrinkly;)


So, if this is your last pregnancy, what are you doing differently because you know it will be your last?

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Julia, mama to Bumpa 2008, and The Mole 2011

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#2 of 7 Old 11-05-2012, 09:39 AM
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This is a great post! This is also my third, and last pregnancy as my husband is also getting a V after baby is born... and I also would love to have more but the financial and emotional strain would just be too much for us. so it is what it is.

Because I know this is our last I am making a huge effort to chill  the F out. I was pretty hormone crazy with my last two... having stupid fights all the time with DH and I know some of it was acual prego hormones I also think much of it was me *expecting* to have those outbursts. this time I am practicing calming techniques to help prevent such useless crazyness- meditation, yoga, making sure I get enough me time...

I am also splurging and getting pregnancy photos, and buying the all wool organic baby bedding, nusring pads, and diaper covers that i always wanted but could never justify the cost. but i want them, so im getting them.


Having a third was a huge issue of conflict for me and DH. I wanted another, he didn't. It has taken me 3 years to convince him otherwise and he still grumbles about it. However with the final decision to have a third I had to make some sacrifeces like finding out the sex of the baby (he's always wanted to know and i've always said no), using a pacifier for limited times after baby is born (looking back I realize how difficult it was for DH taking care of the babes when he had really no way to comfort them or get them to sleep... no wonder he's not so excited about the wee years!), commiting to going back to work part time at 6 months post partum (which is going to be  hard because I've never worked when babes are under 1 year), and the possibility of sending our older two kids to school (we homeschool now) if we become to stretched as a family.


So there it is. Some of my comprimises I'm not overly thrilled about but I know it's important for us as a couple and family in general to give and take when needed. and some of this stuff DH needs.  

Mama to my three little loveys and living the good life in the beautiful Pacific North West 
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#3 of 7 Old 11-05-2012, 10:59 AM
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What a great thread. I really hope I can join officially soon when I get pregnant with my third.  That said, this is terrific food for thought.  Thanks!

Walking in the light with DH, DD (11/08), DS (4/10) , four dogs, and one insouciant cat.
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#4 of 7 Old 11-05-2012, 12:59 PM
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Knowing we are about 99.999999999% sure we do not want a second child, we've been trying to do little fun things during this pregnancy. We went camping when I was 36 weeks, attended a festival, got henna on the belly, taken plenty of photos, and what was really important and special to me - I did nude modeling during the month of October for a college level figure drawing class. I got to take pictures of the images people drew, and got to keep a few originals. It was a phenomenal experience for me, and such a lovely thing to have and look back on, seeing these gorgeous artworks of my huge self. I admit it was daunting and not everyone has a lack of modesty as I do, but for me it was perfect. I truly loved how large I was, just for a moment, during those classes. I didn't feel self-conscious of my bulk but glorious, like some Mother Goddess figure.

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#5 of 7 Old 11-05-2012, 01:45 PM
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Great Topic!!!

This is baby #2 for me and DH and also the last we plan to have. DH is getting a V after baby is born. 

This time around I am planning a homebirth! I had a wonderful, natural hospital birth with my first and since then have become a Doula and learned much more about homebirth and am very excited to be planning my own. 

That's pretty much the only thing I'm doing differently. I wish I could say I wasn't throwing up as much but at 20 weeks preggo I can't say it's stopped. Sadly I am not very good and being pregnant. I long for the day I start labour as the birth was something I enjoyed immensely :)


Good luck everyone and happy pregnancies :)

Mommy, Wife, Birth Doula, Breastfeeding Counsellor. 


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#6 of 7 Old 11-05-2012, 03:24 PM
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This is my third and last.  Like the OP part of me is hoping for twins though there was only one visible at my last US (the other part of me is terrified by the idea of twins).  

I was really hoping to eat well, commit to exercise and be on top my supplements this time but severe morning sickness has made that impossible.  I am very committed to these things though and plan to be very diligent once I am feeling able(hopefully just a few more weeks!).  I did so well with them until MS hit.  Overall health and wellness are my primary focus.

After two failed vaginal birth attempts I am having a scheduled c-section this time.  While I am not excited about that it is the right choice for us.  I am choosing to be thankful that at least I know what to expect and can plan for it.  I am glad I can make plans with my Dr. ahead for hopefully doing skin to skin right away.  I am thankful that I can come prepared with things to help me heal and probiotics for baby and me right away.   I am thankful that I can plan to have lots of help during recovery so that I can let my body rest and heal well.  Planning for vaginal births and then being faced with longer recovery times was hard previously.  I am trying to prepare myself to say YES when people offer help!

Becky- Wife to DH, Mama to "Nani" (July '08) "Coco" (July '10) and Decker the Wrecker (May'13)
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#7 of 7 Old 11-08-2012, 11:09 AM - Thread Starter
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I'm really enjoying reading everyone's responses.


Unfortunately my MS has been so bad this week that I haven't taken my prenatals for 5 days or so.  I REALLY wanted to be good about taking them.  But what's the point of taking them if I'm just going to throw them up?  They're too expensive to waste on vomit, I splurged and got the NewChapter ones.

Julia, mama to Bumpa 2008, and The Mole 2011

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