I've been stalking this forum for a couple of weeks, wondering if I should write or not. Things aren't going better so I'd really like some help.
I'm 28, engaged to a wonderful man and we've been talking about having a baby for a while. But not just now. Maybe after the wedding in October or something like that.
Right now I don't have a job, I'm working on many projects, a book deal and some big travel plans.
I found out 3 weeks ago that I was pregnant, and things have been going downhill from there.
I'm freaked out. I don't know if I'm ready for that. I wanted to be much better off with a career and some money before getting PG.
On top of that I'm having some very bad days with awful nausea (thank God not very often). Most of the time I can't even fathom eating anything. I'm living on salad, smoothies and tangerines.
But the worst part is that I'm like a big slug with no energy or motivation. I feel useless 90% of the time. I cry for no reason. I try to kick myself into doing something but I fall short and I hate myself for being so useless. I feel like a burden for my fiance and I really don't know what to do.
It's just so not me to be depressed for days.
I'm going crazy here.
Fledgling midwife on hiatus, Wife to B, mama to C (c/s 12/04) and S (12/07), m/c (3/12) and expecting another bean 6/13 .
Thank you. It does help.
Talking about physical symptoms, going from hot to freezing cold, menstrual-like cramping and dizziness are also normal ?
Thank you again for your answer. We're not telling anyone before the end of the 1st trimester so I'm really on my own...
Hey! I am almost 7 weeks also (with my third) and can reassure you that all of those symptoms sound totally normal to me. I have been having everything you mentioned, except for the dizzines. I can totally relate to you being nervous and freaked too...I know it sounds cliche but I don't think anyone is every really ready to have a baby. You can always be more settled or more prepared or more something. None of my babies have been planned persay, but even after being so freaked out and worrying about everything things have always worked out OK. I am working on convincing myself of that this time around as well, lol. It's driving me crazy to keep the news to myself until the first trimester s over, but I am also terrified of telling my family as their reaction was not the best last time.
The first trimester is the hardest by far! I was on the floor due to dizziness for WEEKS with both of my girls. Then one day after the first trimester ended is just was gone and I felt like a goddess for the entire second trimester! The third can get a bit rough since you start to feel ENORMOUS which can cause other issues but by far I would say that the first trimester is truly the worst. If you find yourself unable to function the doctors can offer you some drugs to stave off the nausea and dizziness especially. Also your emotions are being chemically altered at the moment so it is normal to feel off balance as well. Get lots of sleep, drink a ton of water and make a list of the things that NEED to get done and ask for lots of help. I have found that once you start showing everyone wants to help you with everything but at that point you usually don't really need the help since you feel great. But during the first trimester hardly anyone knows your pregnant and it is the time when you need the most help, emotionally and physically. Life is kind of backwards sometimes.
I also wanted to also offer you a *HUG*!
Mountain Biking Mama of 3 little beans, . Epumped 22mths for dd1 (2006)
Nursed my babe, dd2 (2008) until self weaned at 3yrs. We survived a major nursing strike.
Awesome for Baby #3 who turned out to be a (Aug 2013)!
Welcome to pregnancy!! :)
It gets better. It is totally normal, even though it sometimes feels like a battle to even get out of bed and face the day.
Try to rest up as much as you can, and make sure you stay hydrated, or you can feel much, much worse. Ask for help when you need it, and you aren't all alone (especially here!)
If it any consolation, I don't know if there really is any perfect time to have a baby. I mean, they totally change your life in ways that are completely unexpected and unpredictable!
Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you have to put your life on hold. Travel! Write!! Do what you can because once that babe arrives, your plans may change.
Are you able to stay well hydrated? That, and taking a calcium/magnesium supplement, can help with the cramping, at least some.
Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds 11yo dd 9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds
Ladies, you're brilliant !
Thank you so much for your answers.
I have noticed that I am constantly thirsty, I'll try to drink more and see if it helps with the cramping.l
It feels so nice to have some support. I can't thank you enough.
HUGS to all of you