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#1 of 24 Old 03-17-2013, 03:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Maybe some of you mamas out there have some tips, tricks, or advice.  I'm so tired everyday! I have no motivation.  It has been this way since I had my second child over 5 years ago.  She never slept. Really! The child slept about 6 hours in a 24 hour period and never more then 20 minutes at a time. I don't have memories from those years.  I'm thinking lack of sleep and stress wiped them out.  

 

I'm now pregnant with baby #4.  I'm starting my second trimester and feeling a little better but still exhausted daily.  I had been surviving on coffee before pregnancy.  I MISS IT! Nothing really seems to help.  Not even coffee worked that well before.  I eat healthy and exercise.  They say you should feel energized after exercise, I just want to lay down.  I've tried adrenal balancing stuff and various vitamins and herbs.  

 

I don't have a bedtime routine but generally go to sleep around the same time. I have a hard time going to bed.  I tend to not be tired at night just all day.  I was getting up once a night before pregnancy now it's more like 3 times a night.  I am having issues sleeping related to pregnancy and stress.  I'm sleeping OK maybe 1 out of every 3 nights.  My 3 yo gets up early everyday.  I know from reading countless sleep books for help with my second sleepless child that this is bad for me.  I learned about all the stages of sleep and what happens in your brain and body in each one.  Well when you are in a deep sleep you can't be easily woken that is the only time your brain and body are healing and resting.  For me I don't reach that kind of sleep until early morning. 5-6am. So when my DS wakes me at 6 or 7am It's like I only slept for and hour or two.  I've been making my husband get up with him but they are so loud and my husband has to leave for work between 8-9am.  

 

So suggestions? I don't know if my extreme exhaustion comes from sleep issues or that I just mentally don't want to do all the things I have to do?  I don't feel as bad out of the house as I do at home.  Or maybe it's just motherhood? Working 14 -16 hour days with no break or help could do that! 

 

Oh and please give me suggestions I can do on my own.  My DH works 6 days/80+ hours, got no family here, or friends, and am not comfortable hiring anyone.  And the 3 yo won't nap! I'd have an easier time scaling Mt. Everest they I would getting him to sleep. 


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#2 of 24 Old 03-18-2013, 06:15 AM
 
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do what my dad did with me tip a playpen over him and put your feet on top of it but make sure you put some toys in there that he can play with then put your feet up on top of after you sit on the sofa and take a nap while he cant get outsmile.gif that what my dad said he did with us when we would not sleep 


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#3 of 24 Old 03-18-2013, 06:49 AM
 
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How are your iron levels?  Have you had your thyroid checked?  What is your diet like?  Do you get outside at all during the day?  For me, (except for thyroid, that is on my list once I have some $$), all of these make a big difference in my energy levels and ability to sleep at night.  My MW put me on Floradix, which seems to help my energy during the day.  I also take a mulit-vitamin and multi-mineral to help cover the gaps in my diet.  I'm not perfect, but I find that when I really limit grains and sugars, I feel SO much better, have a lot more energy, and am generally more at peace with the world.  I have one turning 3 in two weeks, thankfully, she still naps.  When she lies down for a nap, I almost always lie down for a rest, too.  Maybe I only lie down for 20-30 minutes, but it makes a world of difference in my ability to function the rest of the day.  

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#4 of 24 Old 03-18-2013, 10:04 AM
 
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You say you're not comfortable hiring someone, but perhaps it would make sense to reassess that?  I know how hard it is to cede control, but hiring someone even to just clean the house or just give you a few hours in the afternoon a few days a week would make a huge difference.   If money is an issue, there are church groups or neighborhood groups or volunteer organizations or girl scout troops that could provide help a few hours a week so you can rest. 

 

You also say you have no friends, but could you join mom's groups or attend LLL meetings or reach out in some way?  No mothers in the history of humankind have done it alone.  It's natural to need help.  Perhaps reaching out in the community could provide you with some of the social resources you lack. 

 

Good luck!


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#5 of 24 Old 03-22-2013, 01:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh no if no mother has ever done it alone I'm in trouble! I'm also going in the record books then! You can read my post Accepting I Don't Have Any Friends in the personal growth section. Long story short I have tried, REALLY tried to make at least one good friend, and I have not. I have not had a good, close friend since before I was pregnant. About 9-10 years now, so my hope is gone. I have accepted it (very recently) I have pulled my energy away from FB and from talking with moms and trying, wishing, praying that I will find a mom that can be the friend I need. I have refocused it back on my child and myself. It has helped a great deal.

I won't hire anyone. I would never be able to rest or be at ease it would only create more stress for me. I had a real break through recently that I won't allow myself a break. Out of guilt, my own self-value, and how the world values SAHMs. Also inherited mental conditioning from my mother. She is always the victim. She does for others always but refuses to do for her self so she can constantly cry "poor me". I don't want my cilldren to inherit this. I want them to see me caring for myself and know they should care for themselves. It is true no one else on this planet will ever care for you as much as you care for yourself. You have to put your oxygen mask on first, so you can be there to save others.

My thyroid levels are good. I had a huge work up a while back. My hormones we out of wack. Of course my cortisole was 3x's higher then what was ok. I fixed all that stuff. I think I eat very healthy. Even more so now that I'm pregnant. I did a Paleo diet last year. Very strict. I did sleep better and have more energy, that was to be expected with no caffine or sugar of any kind. But I had a sever reaction to it. Hives all over my body. I had to seek emergency medical help. So I won't be going Paleo ever again. I did Flordix before, I found no difference. I eat lots of meat still and keep my grain intake low. I try to take the kids out walking every evening.

I think just allowing myself a break once in a while is key. Spending however long I want sitting or doing what ever and not feeling guilty or stressed out that ever second I sit the work load is growing and I'll never catch up is key. The stress is going to always be there. Being a mom, alone is always going to have those moments. But they will pass.

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#6 of 24 Old 03-24-2013, 08:27 PM
 
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i don't know if i'll be of any help....but i felt compelled to reply.  i'm em.  i'm pregnant with my fourth child.  i also had a second child who didn't like to sleep--he's better now, but he still likes to rise early, as does his baby sister.  i  love sleeping.  i do not like waking up in the morning.  i don't think i get any deep sleep though--not since i became a mother.  especially lately--the baby likes to wake up all though the night--to nurse, to fuss, etc.  she does nap though, sometimes.  i have a bad habit of putting on pbs kids for my 7 & 5 year old while i nap close by with the baby.  sometimes it helps.

 

i also have no friends.  i have trouble fitting in with other people--even my own family!  i expect too much of other people.  i'm quick to build walls or to withdraw from social situations.  i had to quit FB because i kept expecting too much of it & then felt shattered when the community there proved to be superficial.  ironically--i live in a cooperative with 30 other people--ha!  the father of my children lives in the same house as i do even though i'm not always sure what our relationship is.  he watches the kids while i go to classes or work, & i am with the kids most of the rest of the time.  he is reluctant to believe i need any alone time or any rest.  if i am home, usually i have one to three children hanging on me.  i have trouble trusting anyone else to be with my kids.  i get a lot of anxiety when they are with other people.  i unschool them & am a very attached parent...maybe too attached?  i'm terrified of having this fourth (unplanned) baby.  is there enough of me left?

 

i guess i feel like i've been doing it alone.  i'm slowly learning to ask for help when i really really need it--sometimes i actually get it.  but i feel like a freak when i hear other people talking about having "support" from family & friends.  i wonder what that would feel like?

 

you sound like a very strong person, & i think it is wonderful that you take care of yourself & accept yourself.  i hope you find the rest you need!
 


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#7 of 24 Old 03-25-2013, 03:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow someone who seems just like me! I thought I would reply quickly. It's 4:45 am! After being sick for over a week now my 5yo developed a fever and vomiting. So I've been up with her since 3:30. I got her back to sleep at 4. Then my little one comes into our bed, of course. I couldn't fall back asleep, mostly b/c I'm hungry and I've been sick all week too. I can't wait until I can breath again!

Don't feel guilty about PBS and napping. You deserve it. And I'm with you on all the other stuff. I always wonder about those people too, support, help, what kind of crazy world are they living in? I could write a bunch of stuff to make you laugh, but I hear the 5yo whineing in her sleep. I have an appointment with my midwife at 9:30. I got to call multiple doctors for my sick one....the work never ends. I hope you get some rest too!

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#8 of 24 Old 03-25-2013, 01:31 PM
 
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i feel your pain.  with three kids in wisconsin this winter has been relentless.  they go from chest colds to stomach viruses to earaches & somehow their dad can sleep through it, but if they even stir in their sleep i am awake & waiting.

i don't know if this helps or not, but while reading a different thread someone was taking about fish oil & vit B for energy.  i take fish oil & tons of vit D (there is not a lot of sunlight in wisconsin--especially in the winter time.)  i'm not sure if i would be more sad & tired if i did not, but sometimes i'm amazed that i've almost made it through this first trimester intact.  also, i've heard that getting outside & into the sun first thing in the morning helps to reset your internal clock & make nighttime sleep easier.


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#9 of 24 Old 03-29-2013, 11:13 AM
 
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Just wanted to add that I hope you get some sleep soon! Also might want to get your B12 levels checked- I had some serious exhaustion happening and started to get B12 injections from my Dr, they help me so much its unbelievable. Sometimes regular drs check the levels and say your'e in the normal range, but if you are on the low side of normal it can still help to take some. The pills dont do a thing- you pee them all out. If injections are out of the question you can get the liquid version- from the company "NOW" its in a tincture bottle. I take it 2xs a day still. 

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#10 of 24 Old 03-29-2013, 12:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Still sick and sleepless. This has been a Nasty bug! We typically don't get sick 1-3 times a year, and I often don't get sick at all. Now the little one has the fever, and I'm not feeling so hot myself. 9-10 days of sickness followed by a fever and upset stomach. Nice!

I take a prenatal vitamin and 1,000IU of D a day. My doctor say people don't get nearly enough D as they need. I have flax oil, but am not to good about taking it. I tend to be very cautious in pregnancy. I just try to eat very healthy and save supplement use for after the baby. I won't even take Tylonal.

I also feel like I have tried it all. (Except B12 injections) After my last baby my stress and exhaustion was out of control. I tried all the supplements. Floridax, vitamins, herbs, adrenal supplements, I spent 100's of dollars balancing my hormones, bloodwork-ups, etc. nothing fixed the problem.

I think it's motherhood. After giving birth to my first long ago I remember trying to sleep in the hospital that night. I didn't want to put her down. I felt like -who is going to make sure she is ok if I sleep? Even though the baby was sleeping and my husband was right there. I pulled her little bed up right next to mine and put my hand on her chest and closed my eyes. My husband accidentally crumpled a paper bag and I jumped up in extreme fear. I was so worried about the baby and asked him how long I had slept thinking it was a really long time and that the baby needed me. He told me 3 minutes. That was extreme first time mommy fear but I don't think that ever goes away. As mommies we know we are needed 24/7 and I think it's genetically ingrained in us to be able to care for our children with superhuman powers and strength. (Though we don't always enjoy it!) My husband has never got up with the kids at night either, never. He sleeps right through those babies screaming and all.

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#11 of 24 Old 03-29-2013, 02:38 PM
 
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i think the trick is to get uninterrupted sleep!  don't they use sleep interruption as a torture method?  i feel my kids are very gifted in this type of terrorism.  their dad isn't any help either.  i don't know if i've gotten very many good night's sleep since my seven year old was born.  when  i divorced their dad (but somehow we are still together??) we lived separately for a short time & i had TWO nights to myself.  it was awesome.  i didn't know why anyone would choose to live otherwiseeyesroll.gif but somehow he found his way back into my house & now i don't get time off.  i think i should invest in a wife--having a wife seems like a sweet deal.

 

right now i've got a sick/vomiting 5 year old who can't keep anything down & i'm freaking out trying to figure out what is wrong with him--it just doesn't seem like a virus so i'm convinced it's something way worse (i have worst-case-scenerio brain.)  during the night while he was vomiting his dad woke up long enough to question/criticize my mothering--yay.

 

i hope you & yours start to feel better!
 


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#12 of 24 Old 03-30-2013, 01:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL we are very much alike. I've made many jokes about sleep deprivation and how it IS a form of torture. I'm right there with you I have not had a single good nights rest since my first was born 8 years ago, and I can even include the last 2-3 months of pregnancy when I was so big and uncomfortable and the constant heartburn kept me from laying down. I always have to spend the last month or two trying to sleep while sitting up. Can't wait for that stage!

I've never had a night to myself. I'm very overprotective of the kids and though that is probably what I need, it would freak me out not being with them. There's no hope for me.

Interesting situation with your husband/kids dad. My husband is a good guy (I wouldn't of married him otherwise). We had rough patches in the beginning. He drank to much and had to grow into his role as a father, but has come a long way. He is still selfish, but a good provider. The thing about him is he is always willing to change and work on things if they are not going good. The only issue is his job and the simple fact he is gone all the time. A wife kind of would be nice...

My oldest had a stomach flu once. Horrible pain, vomiting everything that went down even sips of water. We had to take her to a MD now place (it was the weekend of course, it is ALWAYS the weekend or late at night when they are sick). She had to get an IV for fluids and special meds to relax her stomach muscles. She was even vomiting up stomach bile while her stomach was empty. Scary. All these viruses are tricky. Just when you think you know what to expect they present a new symptom or twist and they have their own effect on each person. Just try to keep him hydrated. Coconut water or electrolyte enhanced water. Little sips. I made my daughter sip water ever 10 minutes after the stomach flu thing and after an hour or two we could see the progress she was making.

My middle has medical issues too. Hypothyroid, essential tremor. There has been lots of things over the years that don't seem right. She is not like the other two. She is very thin and uncoordinated (poor thing). I too am worse case scenario. I have spend countless hours worring and crying my eyes out that one day we will find something wrong with her.

I lost count how many times the kids interrupted me while I was typing this. I'm hiding in my room. I was planning on cleaning all day. The house is a disaster, but I have yet to begin. I really hate cleaning and don't want to! There is too much to be done and I would rather just run away. I vomited this morning. Don't know if it's this sickness or my body/mind refusing to clean? I figured out why my neck has been hurting too. My 3yo clinging to me for dear life while he has been sick. Sigh!

Well I hope your little man feels better soon. Push down those thoughts it's something bad and assume it's a virus. It always is. And tell the dad to back to bed if he has nothing good to say to help the situation! Grrrr

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#13 of 24 Old 04-02-2013, 02:11 PM
 
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i have a lot of anxiety when my kids are away from me--i don't like not being in control & not knowing for sure if they are okay.  it's difficult to trust anyone with them.  i imagine awful things!

 

i'm glad you're guy is supportive as much as he is.  i wish i could say more nice things about mine.  i think he suffers from depression & projects a lot of his misery onto me.  i need to be away from him, but i worry about him as well!

 

so far this week no one is sick (yay!) & i just had my first appointment with my midwife--i'm 14 weeks but i was in denial so it has taken me awhile to get a midwife.  i'm slowly getting used to the idea of going through all of this again--knowing it will mean even less sleep & less time.  but my kids are awesome.

 

i hope you are doing well & finding energy where you can.


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#14 of 24 Old 04-03-2013, 09:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Right there with you. I don't feel that anyone can/will care for my kids the way I do. After all no one is as vested in my children as I am (and their father).The only person I've ever left my kids with is their dad and I still worry about them. It's a control and perfectionist thing too. I went to my midwife appt. alone this past week b/c everyone was so sick. I explained to my DH to take our daughter's temperature regularly, and if it climbed over 102 again to give her Tylonal. He called me when I was about to leave to ask if he should give her Tylonal, her fever was 102. I said yes and took her temp. when I got home. The thermometer said 102.9 as a last reading. So not only did he wait way to long to check her temp. he left off the .9, big difference!

It's got to be extra hard on you having issues dealing with your kids dad on top of caring for all the kids alone. I feel for you. Add in suprise! Baby #4.

Our #4 was planned. I've always wanted 4, but am questioned by everyone even my husband why. They say if it's so hard for me having 3 then why do I want another? The answer is I didn't want to give up on my dream of a big family. It's only hard when they are little and needy. I waited extra long to make this baby. Until I got myself together and felt that I could handle another. My son will be 4 months shy of turning 4 when the baby is born.

We did everything to try and make this baby a boy (even iced my husbands junk!) So I can have my perfect planned family. 2 girls and 2 boys. Well I went to my ultrasound and we *think* it's a girl. There was nothing between the legs from the rear angle. On the front there was a nub. The tech said it looked like a swallon labia. But I didn't see the 3 lines for a girl nor did I see a penis and balls. Very frustrated and upset. I went at 16 weeks b/c I didn't want to wait another 4 to find out the sex. Now I have to wait anyway and pay out of pocket to find out for sure. (Talk about controlling) I can't wait 6 months and find out at birth, NO WAY.

So if it is a girl I'm facing major gender disappointment. Mostly for my little son who wants/needs a brother so bad. His sisters are the best of friends and this baby was all for him so he could have that too with his brother. My midwife said "expectations make things hard". Gosh she is right my expectations about everything in my life make it very hard.

Glad you're all well, we STILL have snot and coughing but getting better. Now to dig out of the mess and all the things that were put aside while we were all so sick.

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#15 of 24 Old 04-03-2013, 02:29 PM
 
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I have similar problems with a lot of tiredness/drowsiness during the day, and I don't even have children, but am pregnant with my first. I, also, have tried tons of expensive solutions....I will quickly let you know what has actually helped me, then explain in detail below: 1. Treating sleep apnea I didn't know I had. 2. When not pregnant, taking Now brand TMG tablets and Now brand Acai capsules, both from www.iherb.com 3. Cutting out gluten as much as possible  4.While pregnant and while not pregnant, taking Perque Activated B12 Guard, Natural Factors B12 Methylcobalamin 5000 mcg, Solgar Folate 800 mcg as Metafolin, and Rainbow Light Prenatal One (or Prenatal Petite). See my disclaimer below about pregnancy and those pills!!!...

 

Also, using a dry erase calander to set daily tasks, and/or meal planning in a notebook, and planning manageable small goals helps me push through the fatigue at times. Just organization, putting pen to paper. (and not saying that is the reason we are tired...just saying being organized is a tool I use to get through it) See last paragraph for more on that.

 

-Apnea: even though I am thin (because most doctors think thin people don't get apnea), I got a sleep study and found out I have low-end of "moderate" sleep apnea. I didn't really realize I was stopping breathing the times at night I was unconscious (how would anyone know?).....I guess hubby, in retrospect, said he sometimes heard me stop breathing, then kind of gasp.....but honestly, it would be easy for a spouse to not know, and for you to not know. Anyways, this REALLY disrupts going through the phases of sleep. Now that I have a CPAP machine....I do notice about a 30-50% improvement the day after using teh machine. So it does account for some of teh daytime drowsiness/crapiness.

 

Even if you can't get a sleep study (sleep doctor has to order it), there are things you can do if you suspect apnea. There are things like ZQuiet....I bought one to try it instead of my cpap machine, but I never really got into it. You wouldn't really know if it was correcting your variety of apnea or not, unless you felt better over time (give it a couple weeks). Otherwise, either your blockages are too severe for the mouthpiece and you need the machine, or you just don't have apnea.

 

Another thing you can do, is not consume dairy within like 4 hours of going to bed. In my family, we snore at night after consuming dairy, because it causes mucus in the throat, etc....makes breathing openings like throat smaller. Other things may cause you to create mucus at night too (and you wouldn't necessarily know you were, it won't always come out of your nose...). For me, I suspect toothpaste causes mucus. Simply avoiding dairy can be enough for people. Maybe that is why paleo helped you.  Also, sleeping on your side helps, sleeping on your back is bad for apnea. Airways more open sleeping on side. My brother finds relief from Breathe Right Strips on his nose, nightly. Make sure to place them properly. You may look like miss piggy with wider nostrils when they are on. Get the super duper ones, that are heavy duty. That can be enough for people, opening the nose wide enough. The remedy varies person-to-person. Some need the cpap machine. I like the website www.drstevenpark.com.

 

Anything you can do to open up the nose, or the soft palate/throat area (mouthpieces like Zquiet will do that, avoiding dairy) will help mild/moderate apnea.

 

So yeah. I think apnea is a part of it for me. I never feel good during the day. And it's DROWSINESS. Like I never slept. Not even for a few hours.

 

MOVING ON.....

 

-avoiding gluten. At first, didn't realize it bothered me. But yeah, it causes drowsiness in the head for me. I completley cut it out for a bit, and once adding it back in, could tell big difference when I'd consume it. And that was like, the third time I experimented...and only after noticing progress with other things like vitamins and apnea treatment. Nowadays, I don't freak out if I eat it, but I find alternatives whenever possible. I try to have a lot of gluten free meal ideas (gf breakfasts, gf lunches on gf bread, gf dinners like scrambled eggs, chicken with rice, etc).....but then if I am out and have a piece of cake, oh well. I try to have 3-5 days a week GF. If I can go total GF, that's much better and I feel better. So even if at first GF seems irrelvant, retry it later on.

 

-Now brand TMG from iherb.com. http://www.iherb.com/Now-Foods-TMG-Trimethylglycine-1-000-mg-100-Tablets/3344  1,000 mg tablet. If the link doesn't work, type Now TMG into the site's search. That gives me a kick in the pants!!!! And supposedly it is really just helping the body's natural processes. Maybe you are having methylation issues (homocysteine, etc). Don't get expensive tests, just try that brand of TMG and see what one pill does. I notice it most with help for physical stamina, so take one, then take a walk, and halfway through the walk, or maybe even an hour later, you'll feel it if it's gonna help. Honestly, you may wanna try splitting the pill in half for your first dose...it can really pack a punch. Some people have no effect, so I think those people don't need this process supported in their body. TMG is kind of like a different chemical form of a natural amino acid.

 

-Same website (iherb.com), type "Now Acai capsules" into search. They are 500 mg capsules, in an orange bottle. I take 3 of those in the morning, and that helps me too. Supposedly works in same way as TMG, but I like both.

 

-TMG and Acai are not for pregnancy!

 

-The Perque Activated B12 Guard helps me. Its a very unique form of B12, not the form most doctors give in shots even. I hold the pill under my tongue until it dissolves. Sometimes I only feel the benefit when I take it with the Natural Factors B12 too (which is yet another active form, the methyl form), AND take the Solgar Folate, with it. I was worried if this was safe in pregnancy, and my OB told me that extra B12 won't hurt the baby, nor will extra folate. HOWEVER, I honeslty don't know for sure, because I didn't run the exact doses and pills by her, so at the end of teh day, who knows. But I feel comfortable enough to do this while preg. Just make your own decisions....I am not implying complete safety. Then that Rainbow Light brand of Prenatal really helps....only multi vitamin I have ever felt energy from, and my husband even noticed that same thing, because he'll take it sometimes, when sick, etc!!!!!!

 

The Perque I buy at pureformulas.com. The Natural Factors I buy at iherb.com...but make sure it's the 5000 mcg. The Rainbow Light Prenatal is iherb.com. So everything is iherb, except the Perque brand. If you are trying to save money, the TMG works best, but you are preg so don't take that. Acai, also, I am not comfortable taking while preg, because I read it can mess up ratios of omega 3's and 6's.

 

I think it's a toss up, if the Perque B12 vs the Natural Factors B12 Methylcobalamin would work best, if you are trying to narrow things down. I take both, because they are different forms, but you could try the Natural Factors from iherb first because it's probably cheaper, and I'd get the Solgar Folate as Metafolin with it, because I feel it's the combo of the active B12 with the ACTIVE folate (Diff than what's in prenatal viatmins) that helps me. You may feel energy like 20 min afterwards.

 

 

I can't offer too much advice about the kids....but I think it's not necessarily "normal" to feel THAT rundown....you know when you're dealing with above average tiredness, so you are smart to look for help. These are really the only things that help me that I've found. These things can give me enough of a boost to go take a walk, which will then help sleep, sleep/wake cycle, etc. So really, I just try to get my energy high enough that I can walk or sit outside to get sun, and then I try to let those positive activities do their beneficial thing, too. I drink small amounts of coffee too. I also find that being organized helps. I like wwww.moneysavingmom.com....she has some great article Series on her toolbar about how to stay motivated and organized, which never hurts. When I use my calanders and plan things, I can stay on track a little better, through the fatigue.  Good luck!!!!!

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Interesting information, thanks for posting.  I don't think I have apnea are rarely snore.  I definitely think my husband does. He stops breathing and gasps for air and always snores.  I take Rainbow Light prenatal.  We all have been taking Rainbow Light vitamins for years now. I will have to check out the other stuff.  I most likely won't take anything while pregnant.  I'm super cautious.  I try to get everything I need through my food while prego.

 

Though something interesting happened to me today. I was feeling good this morning.  Did some cleaning and cooked myself breakfast. I planed on tackling the rest of the house today and finishing it. Started feeling dirty from all the dusting and scrubbing so decided to break for a shower.   I got out of the shower but forgot my towel. I asked my oldest to bring it to me.  She was taking forever and I'm yelling "are you coming? I'm freezing." As she was whining and complaining that my middle was in her way, my middle is standing there telling me she was looking at my ultrasound pictures, and here comes #3 my crazy boy, running and trips over my middles foot and falls and hits his head on the door frame. There I am naked, cold, wet consoling my 3yr old.  After 20 minutes of him screaming his high pitch scream directly into my ear he went back to playing.  However I found I was exhausted.  My energy was completely gone.  I no longer had the drive/will, or concentration to finish the cleaning or anything else.  I just wanted to go to sleep really.  I messaged my DH what happened and asked if there could maybe be a connection?  Like the stress drains me mentally and physically so much so that I can not function.  He thinks so and now so do I.  It's interesting to discover these things.  Mind body connection.  Maybe I just discovered a piece of the puzzle to why I am always so tired. 


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#17 of 24 Old 04-05-2013, 12:39 PM
 
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have you ever read Mindful Motherhood?  i like it a lot.  it's about staying in the moment to help with stress, etc.  i need to re-read it!

 

i kept trying to have girls--after 2 boys i heard a study saying that women who are well-nourished, eat breakfast daily, etc. are more likely to conceive boys.  women who miss meals are more likely to conceive girls.  needless to say, i started missing meals & got a girl on the third try.  so if you do end up having one more.... smile.gif

 

i never planned to have to do the toddler/baby mix again--i did that with my boys so they could be close, but i ended up with a two year old torturing a baby.  i don't imagine the toddler i have now is going to be too thrilled about sharing me.  she attacks her older brothers when they try to come close to me!  yikes.  it's smart to wait until they're older to attempt a new baby.  toddlers are nuts.
 


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#18 of 24 Old 04-05-2013, 04:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Needed a break - still cleaning! Why is it when you sorta finish one side of the house the other side you cleaned yesterday is already dirty!

 

No I will have to put that on my reading list.  Did I tell you about The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood,by Kathleen A Kendall-Tackett. Love that book! It was the only book about motherhood I ever read that I was like wow someone understands! 

 

Great so your telling my I'm not well nourished? LOL No, I take no responsibility for getting all these girls. Men are the ones who determine the sex of the baby it is all my husbands fault! I told him he didn't ice his balls long enough to kill off all the girl sperm.  Next time- if there is one- I told him he is going to soak those things in ice water for at least 20 minutes.

 

I always wanted 4 but never was opposed to more.  4 is A LOT. I'm raising them alone after all! If I'm drowning with 3 and 4 is on the way how will I handle anymore? How would I fit them in the van? I would need a bigger house!  It's bitter-sweet to move on.  It's sad to never hold a sweet tiny baby again and to get rid of all the baby stuff... On the other hand I'm super excited to move to the next chapter of my life. To get rid of ALL THAT BABY STUFF, no more nursing, washing diapers, strapping and unstrapping car seats, strollers, ugh all those toys everywhere... One day I want my life back.  I planned on getting in really awesome shape after this one too. 

 

All mine are 2.5 to 3 years apart. So when baby is born I will have a 3yo, 6yo, and 9yo.  It's nice to have some space but hard in it's own way. With school especially. Then with any type of activities. My 3yo seems to be in love with babies. He is always pointing them out to me and saying "awe cute!" and kissing my tummy.  My 5 yo is very excited. She was only 2.5 when the last was born so she didn't really take part that much.  She wants to be very involved with helping me this time around. My oldest is excited but she's done this twice now. She understands a little more that is not all fun and games when a baby comes and requires a lot of my time. 

 

Back to mopping- ugh- and dinner. I hate dinner! I pray one day to afford a chef to come cook all our meals for us. 


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#19 of 24 Old 04-06-2013, 06:14 PM
 
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i wasn't saying so much that you were malnourished as i was assuming that a mother of three barely gets a chance to feed herself--or at least this is my experience! redface.gif

i always wanted 5, but i got a late start--it took me 10 years to get pregnant.  & i picked the wrong guy to have babies with.  damn his big blue eyes.  i wanted babies with those eyes but failed to make sure he was stable father material  & a good provider. 

4 is definitely going to be an adventure!  i'm going to finally have to break down & get a minivan...ay yi yi....


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did someone suggest this already?  adrenal exhaustion?  my chiro just told me about it because i have such low blood pressure which is a sign of it.  she wants me to eat more salt, drin more water, & to take adrenal glandular (which is safe during pregnancy.)

 

i hope you are feeling well & getting over all the sick time!


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#21 of 24 Old 04-11-2013, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes someone told me about adrenal exhaustion before.  When I researched it I had all the symptoms too.  I've always had very low BP too.  My DH is on meds for high BP and when we take ours together he always jokes we me that I'm barley alive. I have tried different products from Whole Foods and Frontier, but didn't see any difference.  Is that a certain brand? Where do you get it? 

 

You know I have never been to the chiro! I would like to start.  I hear they can help with stress? I just can't seem to get myself on track after all this sickness. Honestly I don't want to. I want to sit and watch TV all day and not think about or do anything. Funny b/c that is something I never do.  I just need a vacation, a break, something...

 

Starting to feel really prego.  My feet swelled the other day and I'm finding it really hard to sleep at night.  I get those ligament pains ever time I roll over and I've been getting them during the day, ones that last for like 20-30 of intense pain.  They have gotten worse with each baby- normal- great just great! 

 

My little one refuses to nap and is extremely impossible all day.  The last several days he has fallen asleep while we are out at 5-6pm then sleeps through dinner and bath and wakes up late hungry and screaming or early morning hungry and overly playful. 

 

So I am exhausted as usual, but at least we are not sick anymore! 

Hope your bunch is doing well too. 


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#22 of 24 Old 04-12-2013, 02:16 PM
 
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all i want to do is take a nap, but i've tried for an hour & cannot get my toddler to go to sleep!  she has entered her terrible twos early & does not like to cooperate.

 

i started going to a chiro because i was having trouble going into labor & getting my babies to come out vaginally.  we have a lot of chiros in this area that specialize in pre-natal care.  the ones i've gone to also supply supplements for health.  my chiro offered to sell me some of the adrenal medicine, but my midwife is poo-pooing the idea.  which just makes me cry.  i'm so desperate for a "cure" to being tired all the time!!  i was hoping this was it.  instead i'm supposed to eat right  (protein protein & more protein--less sugar less carbs(boo hoo)--& exercise--like i have time for that irked.gif

 

i've had low blood pressure all of my life, but i have also had intense stress all of my life.  so it makes sense to me that it would have taken some toll on my body (& on my mind.)  right now i'm so insanely stressed that i worry i will somehow die from it.  worrying i won't be enough of a mother for four babies.  worrying about how i am going to support my family & stay true to my ideals.  & of course my relationship is a bottomless pit of stress.  we've been fighting all week.  he said to me, "i've had to deal with this four time."  "deal with what?" i asked.  "you, when you're pregnant," he told me.

but when i said i wanted to move out & live separately, he started being super nice to me.  which makes it hard for me to follow through, of course--& i really don't want to hurt him.

when things are good--i feel trapped; when things are bad; i feel tortured. 

my life is just stupid right now.


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#23 of 24 Old 04-12-2013, 04:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I told my little man he can't do anything until he takes a nap. No playing on iPad, no playing in sand box... He is laying in his bed whining and keeps getting out sneaking to see me saying "me took my nap mommy"  Funny- but not so funny. Yesterday (we go and walk around a lake every evening) he took off on his scooter.  He always tries to race ahead of his sister but he didn't stop.  I was screaming for him! Then I had to take off running as fast as could to catch him! Like 1/4 mile or more! I peed myself running and screaming after him- oh the stress! 

 

I'm all concerned about my diet too. At my next appt. it will be the main topic of discussion.  I don't eat anything bad but I certainly feel like I'm not eating healthy either. I'm in this weird place.  I have no motivation or desire to do anything. Stress, depression...I don't know.  I have no appetite for anything and cooking is horrible.  I've had lots of swelling lately and am concerned about that.  I don't think I have gained any weight yet either.  I'm just not eating.  I know it's bad but again I've go no motivation. 

 

Yup low bp all my life and temperature too. Always like 97.2.  I took my temp when sick and it was 96.4.  I'm stinking hypodermic. My mw said it was b/c my blood volume was doubling.  I wish you lived closer to me. We share many things.  I've had a crap life too.  On all my other posts on here people say I'm to negative and aren't willing to change things in my life to make it better. Maybe so? They say I just want others to sympathize with me instead of moving myself to a better place. True. Maybe I could move to a better place while helping someone in the same situation move to a better place with me. But for right now everyone that throws ideas at me- I immediately shut them down b/c I don't feel like they understand where I'm coming from. 

 

I've had crazy things happen to me from the stress and have worried it will kill me too. Everywhere you read it is bad, REALLY bad for you living with chronic stress. I wish your man wasn't such a poop head.  Sorry if it's stepping over the line and you love and care about him.  I learned my lesson with ex. He was dreamy and I lusted after him. Changing who I was and putting up with way to much crap thinking I LOVED him. We had custody of his son who I raised from 6mons-2yo.  The man abused me mentally, physically, took my money, stole my soul then dumped me.  I got in my car and moved 1,500 miles away.  Started my life over. Didn't know anyone, didn't have any money. But I made it!!! You have all these babies with him which makes things really tough!! I wish I knew you years ago and could of steered you away from his blue eyes, but it is what it is.  

 

In one of the books I was reading he talks a lot about self compassion.  NO ONE  in this world is every going to care for you as much as you care for yourself.  (Stay with me I don't have a lot of compassion for myself either) Meaning no one else can feel your pain and no one else can make it better but you.  You got to take care of yourself first! You have got to take care of yourself so you can take care of your babies.  (funny I'm saying this b/c I struggle just like you) It's a tough tough situation your in, and easy for me to say do these things. But I totally get living it is a whole nother story.  

 

You can send me private message or emails. Don't even know how that works? I never had a online friend before, but we can share in each others misery without the rest of world knowing how screw up we are. LOL - it's funny, but not so funny


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#24 of 24 Old 04-14-2013, 11:16 AM
 
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i'm going to send you an email--of course i have a toddler in my lap who loves to wreak havoc so it might be a short one.
 


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