When I became pregnant this time, I decided to go with a midwife practice, since I've heard so many wonderful things about midwifery and how they are a lot more relaxed and not so clinical about pregnancy and birth. I figured, great! I'm a good candidate despite my size since I've had a very straight forward easy pregnancy and birth and I've already been assessed by specialists who saw no red flags at all. Well it took weeks on a waiting list to even get picked up by a practice which I can understand. Then when I met the two midwives on my team, I actually felt like the drs were warmer and more friendly last time. I figured, maybe we just didn't click and didn't sweat it. My primary midwife said she has to put me on the "bariatric protocol" involving many US, two GTT and an OB. I figured, fine, whatever. She sent me for my anatomical at 20 weeks instead of 18 (I had no issue with that) but I had to convince her to please let's try the standard baby friendly hospital for the US where I'll be delivering at instead of the research hospital in the same city. My hospital is nearby, I can easily park a few blocks away and feel comfortable there. The research hospital is a nightmare for everything from parking to navigating to perpetual ongoing construction. She consented and I had my US. Everything looked fine but it took a while but baby was being stubborn and the tech wasn't able to get a facial profile pic. She got every other measurement successfully and there were no indications of any issues, baby was simply stubborn and wouldn't get into the position we needed. So I needed a followup US, which is fine. My MW INSISTED this time that it be done at the research hospital though since they have newer/more powerful equipment. I didn't fight it but wasn't happy. I was called in and the tech was confused.
"Are you delivering here?"
"Then why didn't they send you back to St J? I have all their results right here and they got good data, just need an additional image."
"I know, I don't get it either, it's what my MW wanted."
I know it's not a big deal but I feel let down by my MW. The whole reason I switched was to have more relaxed, easier prenatal care without all the additional appointments that proved unnecessary with my first pregnancy anyways. I have a two year old who is really only comfortable staying with my mom (or DH and I) and she works full time. I feel like if my first pregnancy was low risk and no blood test or US is picking up any issues, I don't spill sugar or protein in my urine and my BP is fine then bringing an OB in this time will have the same outcome: "why are you here?" I've already done the GTT at like 14 or 16 weeks and will have to do it again at 28 weeks. She mentioned monthly US... Why?! The anatomical US is done and everything looks good, including placental position. I know US are notoriously inaccurate to gauge growth in the third trimester. Argh. I seriously feel like they took one look at the scale and got their guard up and I'm no longer the patient they want. With my last pregnancy, I had one extra US after the anatomical around week 32 which I'd be happy to do again. I'm honestly starting to regret going with midwifery. I can't switch because everyone is all booked up and I don't want to spend weeks without care. I'm just very disapointed and honestly kind of hope they are both busy on the day I go into labour so I'll have a random on call MW who may not be as anal and defensive about overweight pregnancies.
Thanks for reading if you made it through all that. Can anyone relate?
ETA cross posted in August DDC
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:: A neo-apprentice knows there are no true masters.
25yo FTM to a Wiggle Panda , student teacher , newlywed
Anyway, the gist of it is I agree with PP who said, basically, not all midwives are going to have the characteristics you're looking for in a provider. It was stressful to switch later in pregnancy, but I was so glad we did. And honestly I wish I'd been less concerned with upsetting MW1 at the time- I would've changed sooner, but I felt loyal to the provider we'd become established with.
Do you have other options? Maybe you can still look for a better fit?
mama to two teens and two tots madly in love with DP
Do you have CPMs and/or out of hospital midwives in your area? Unfortunately, you may end up having the same issues with a hospital CNM that you did with your OB.
Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds 10yo dd 8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds
If you were able to, would you want to switch? I think it is so important to feel 100% comfortable with your provider whether it's a midwife, OBGYN, or family doctor. I have heard of people switching providers at 37 weeks because they were so fed up with how they were being treated. After things calm down in your life (Easter, bdays, etc) maybe just talk to your former provider, if possible and see how they would care for you. Also...is hiring a doula a possibility for you? I know it won't be help during prenatal appts but maybe during labour when you are...ya know Busy! she would be there to make sure your wants and needs are met.
I had a family doctor for my first pregnancy and this time I am going with a MW. My situation is totally different, I feel good about her and how she is handling things but I think it is unfair for people to assume midwives are just BETTER. Not all doctors are lurking in corners with a scalpel waiting to perform a c-section and not all midwives are practicing a more natural based care. It's unfair and really does not help women at all. I would have had the same doctor this time but she's busy having twins this summer and won't be back in time for my delivery :) This is one aspect of ... I don't know..the natural community or maybe just the internet, where midwives are forced down a person's throat and for some people they just are not the right fit. I'm trying not to step on toe o I hope the point I am trying to make is clear.
Are you Canada? I see you mentioned your province so I am just curious. I have a friend who lives in Canada and she is also going with a midwife but she often complains that because of the health care system around her, midwifes have to act more as doctors rather than that vision most people have when they hear "midwife".
OKay...I'm kind of rambling now (sorry!). I would suggest maybe talking to her and if it's just not working with her, find another midwife or if possible see your former provider. You deserve the care you desire.
If evil means to be self-motivated, to be the center of one’s own universe, to live on one’s own terms, then every artist, every thinker, every original mind, is evil. Because we dare to look through our own eyes rather than mouth clichés lent us from the so-called Fathers…three cheers for Eve. -...