Post-partum help - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 5 Old 04-23-2013, 11:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm very excited about my mom coming to stay for 1-2wks before my due date to 2wks after the baby arrives, but worried about logistics. Any advice would be really appreciated!

My worries are about where she will sleep, what I should be asking for help with, how to maintain some sense of personal space, and most importantly, how to keep my husband from feeling like he's being excluded, especially after the baby is born.

We have a very small space, so she will be staying in the living room, and we need a bed solution.

Mostly though I want to know how you dealt with house guests post-partum so I can know what might come up.

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#2 of 5 Old 04-23-2013, 12:29 PM
 
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After my baby was born I had my best friend come,actually she came while we were still in the hospital. I was worried about connecting with my baby and my husband feeling left out too during the visit. Actually, it was the best visit ever because everything was so surreal after the birth for me and my husband,her being around help ground me and focus me. I also think it was helpful for my husband to have someone to chat with while I was struggling nursing and just trying to figure things out. She cooked meals for us and kept the house clean and she was very helpful.

My mom came 3 months later and I was dreading if I could handle it so soon.  We just tried to be very clear of our expectations of her and it worked out even though she did get on my nerves at timesnut.gif. We did not have the space situation that you have though. Is your couch comfortable? maybe add extra padding.

I hope it all works well for you!

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#3 of 5 Old 04-25-2013, 09:46 AM
 
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My mom stayed for a full month after my son was born. It was incredible.  Yes, there were times that I think my husband felt a little overwhelmed in our small apartment but he also saw how much I needed her to be there and that having her there meant he could go back to work earlier without worrying about me and we wouldn't loose all that income. I had a rough labor and a long recovery so having her there to cook, do laundry, clean, bring me water, hold the baby so I could take a shower, etc. was invaluable.  We had a blow up mattress for her in the living room. The way our apartment was set up was that there was no wall between our bedroom and the kitchen so we ended up hanging up a sheet screen around our "bedroom" so we had some semblance of privacy.

My mom is the kind of person who thrives when taking care of people. She was a nurse too.  So, she totally knew exactly what I needed when I needed it.

I think that as long as the person who is visiting understands that you and your husband will not be playing host and they are there to help first and foremost then it shouldn't be too bad.


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#4 of 5 Old 04-26-2013, 10:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your stories. I feel pretty good about it going well, but I wanted more perspectives on what to expect.

I think our couch is pretty darn fluffy (friends sleep on it all the time) but I feel like my mom deserves better, especially if she is going to be helping us so much. I'm looking into airbeds, but no sure they are actually any better!

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#5 of 5 Old 04-26-2013, 10:41 AM
 
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A good couch is worth twenty air beds. Generally they offer more support and are much easier to get on and off of. I wouldn't bother getting an air bed but would try to provide a good pillow and nice bedding for the couch. I think the key to a relaxing pp visit is that expectations are clear as mentioned above and that you're comfortable around the visitor. Make sure that the lines of communication are wide open so if you need a little space, your mom won't feel put upon if you ask her to run an errand or go get a coffee smile.gif.
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